Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage or Loss October '08

Hi ladies...

I'm 28 soon to be 29 - Arghhhhh! I have a wonderful partner Scott who is 32 and an amazing 4 yr old DS from my first marriage and 2 gorgeous step DD's from my partners first marriage... We are TTC our first, my second and his third!

I had a missed miscarriage diagnosed on the 30th of September at 9 weeks and a D&C performed on 2nd October. It was really hard and our hearts broke but I was encouraged by everyone to grieve the way I needed to and all my feelings were validated - by family, friends and medical professionals - the nurses and doctors were brilliant and I think it's because of this that I have healed so well...
We have the go ahead to start TTC again but we are going to wait till the next cycle...
As much as I want to be pregnant again, emotionally I'm not ready. Each day is getting easier and better so I figure by next cycle we will be ready and we will just take this month as it comes...

It's still sad and I still shed a tear but I am holding up pretty well...
It's pretty frightening thinking about TTC again - what if the same thing happens but I don't let myself ponder it. I'm staying positive that I will cope and everything will be fine! :pray:

Anyway, looking forward to sharing our journeys together and getting to know you all...
:hug:

missbec....... take it easy on yourself...... it is only the 13th October today...... so your D&C was 11 days ago...... I m thrilled that people around you encouraged you to greive and heal at your pace...... but dont rush it. Dont do what I am normally so guilty of doing..... and thats thinking everything will be fine and pushing myself to keep going.... I ve learnt that you need to be kinder to yourself... you need to let yourself heal and not rush it.... Just Be..... Time is the healer..... One Day At A Time..... I say this over and over and over again to ladies in here... and I sound repetative at times.... but it is the best advice I can give you.... Allow yourself to be.... what I mean by that is BE cranky..... BE sad.... BE frustrated.... Yell... Scream... Cry.... whatever... it doesnt matter.... Just BE........ Then take it one day at a time and one day soon the Fog will lift and you will know in yourself when you are ready.... BUT take it easy on yourself.......

Now thats 3 new ladies in as many days and I wish like hell I could close the doors on this thread because no one needed it anymore.... but the sad thing is that as one person leaves another one or two.... or three join..... So MissBec... welcome to our thread..... I wish you didnt have to be here..... and I hope your stay is a short one..

Hi Angel - thanks for the welcome..

I am definately taking it one day at a time. I can't afford to push myself because I have to be ok to look after my DS... I let myself feel what I need to, if I need to cry, I cry - if I'm cranky then I be cranky but I always apologise lol...
I'm one of those people that need to be organised and have a plan...
Which is why we have discussed the next cycle already but with the understanding that if neither of us are ready then it will be the cycle after that or so on...

I can't believe it has only been 11 days! It feels like so much longer...

Big hugs to you all and lots of :bluedust::pink-babydust:
:stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy:

MissBec - welcome to the thread. Like Angel said I so hope you don't get to stay here very long. Our biggest wish is that we can close this thread down (we've actually got somebody standing by the door ready to turn out the light). I'm glad you found us cause the ladies in here are so supportive (we've each been through the same - or similar). There's plenty of shoulder to go around and lots of hands to hold.

all the best with your journey. Any time you need to vent - remember one of us is always here.

missbec - :welcome: I am sorry you've had to join us here. The women here are fantastic and I know you'll find a wealth of support. You'll know when you're ready to TTC again. I'm also terrified of what will happen with my next pregnancy (I lost my first), but I won't think of it too much until I actually get pregnant. One day at a time and all that.

I agree with Angel - our numbers are getting too large. But its nice to know we're not alone.

Hi all,

well u/s went really well. Baby was not being very co operative though!

All was good at the begining, baby was moving around, waving..But when they went to measure the neck my little bub decided to get the hiccups and then go to sleep. I had to leave the exam room and run around and drink more water to try and wake it up. It worked though and all is good with the world!!!!

Just wanted to thank you all for your support and kind words throughout my 12 weeks:hug:

I am a little more relaxed now and can tell my friends and family the good news:dance:

oh and my sister, whom has a daughter turning one on Wednesday is pregnant again also!! Can you believe it, there will be 2 babies within 6 weeks:loveshower:

larz - WOOHOO - I've been waiting for your post. Am SOOOOO happy for you, enjoy telling everyone. I was so glad we waited until 12 weeks cause that made it so much more exciting!!!! I think I've said it before but for us from 12 weeks the pregnancy has just been flying, you'll be at your 20wk morph scan before you know it. !!!!


missbec - sorry you have to be here. Missed m/c are so cruel as you don't really know that something is wrong until your scan. My m/c last year was missed m/c and it was just awful. The ladies in here are soooo FABULOUS, I still pop in from time to time to check up on them as they are soooo supportive & just nice to have a general chat with too. Hoping your stay in here is short.

missbec - Welcome to the thread and I'm so sorry for your loss. I too had a missed miscarriage, it is just such a shock to find out when you think things are going along well :( Angel has given you such good advice that I won't add to it, as usual she is so right. Take care of yourself.

mollycat and Angel - Thanks back to you two for the banter the other day ;) It was so funny and just what I needed too!

chappas - So sorry about the BFN, I hope it changes into a BFP for you!

Easha - Sounds promising! Good luck, hope that temp went up today!

jenushka - Thanks for that, yep it was yesterday and all went well :) I hope your spotting has stopped by now, how stressful for you. Take it easy!

issy - Good luck, that all sounds really promising for you!

Jen - Cycle buddy! I'm finally in the TWW with you :dance:

rach78 - Hi and welcome :) I hope your stay with us is short. It really is one step forward and two steps backwards after a m/c - well that's how I found it anyway. I really think that all you can do is look after yourself and just let yourself feel whatever you feel. It is normal to have feelings like you about other people and their babies when you have just had a m/c, you are not being self centred at all. I saw a Sids and Kids counsellor after my miscarriage and found it helpful, but really the only thing that helped me heal was time. Take care of yourself :hug:

A big hello also to HannahD, 21&TTC#1, fifi, Milla and anyone else that I have missed, hope you are all doing OK.

AFM, I had the IUI done yesterday and all went well, DH even backed it up with some action too ;) God love him LOL! Anyway I'm finally in the TWW and have some more injections to give myself over the next week for luteal phase support (needed because of the IVF medication I have been on), but I am feeling really relaxed about this cycle. AF is due on the 27th, so I'll have to take myself in to the clinic for a BT if she doesn't show by then. If this cycle doesn't work out we'll go straight to another IVF cycle (a shorter one this time) so I have none of the pressure that I have felt in previous cycles for them to be successful so we would avoid IVF (if that makes any sense! LOL). And I have been out for a bit of retail therapy today while my DD is at preschool, what do you want to bet that I fall pg now that I have spent $400 on new summer clothes!!! But I'm feeling good after a bit of a splurge :D

ETA - larz, we were posting at the same time but I'm so glad to hear your scan went well, and have fun telling everyone!

Hi beautiful girls! Quick post while I'm in the land of the living :ROFL:

To all the new ladies, I am so very sorry for your losses :hug: I am very glad that you have found this thread because all the girls in here are amazing. They will hold your hand through anything and everything.

Mollycat - Not sure if I've told you yet, but I love your avi!

To my fabs, Angel, Jen and PLC - I miss you all dearly!!! I'm sure my m/s will go away soon and I'll be back in the chat room with you all causing trouble! :dance:

Jen - In answer to your Lunar question... My lunar peak was always the opposite of my natural cycle. My lunar peak was always towards the end of my TWW when I was too scared to dtd, lol. This last cycle my lunar peak was meant to be on Father's Day, which was when I got my first positive, so we decided that we probably didn't need to dtd again :ROFL: I always read though that it was best if the lunar peak either coincided with ovulation or AF... Actually, I have a book that a lovely member on BB gave to me for free. I told her that once I was done with it I would pass on the favour and send it free to someone else. Would you like me to send it to you? It's about natural fertility and it has a lot about the Lunar cycle in there...

krystie....... Ohhh you just made my Job as Aunty Angel so much easier....... Im keeping a close eye on littly chyan so I m keeping a close eye on your ticker....... I ve been known to hunt through the BB site to find your last post so i can check your dates.......some people would call that stalking..... but its not... i was cleared by the judge ;) I worked out why little chyan was making you so sick..... we already know she/he is Birthday Buddy #3..... so I have an insight to it....... she/he just wants to make sure you know they are there..... just trying to settle your fears.... either way... heres to a very fast 3 weeks and here s to you keeping a bit of weight back on and feeling a tad better.

i second Angel's motion on behalf of the BBs of 18th May ;)

i third that.... ohhhh hold on... if i said it first and BB second....then that means little chyan has to third it...... bugger it Ill third it on her behalf :ROFL:

Notice how I keep having to call little chayan "her"...... last post I went through and edited and kept putting in "him" ..... i reacon I m onto it though.... and SHE will be here on the 18th May 2009........ Oh My Lord..... thats my 40th Birthday.... wow...

hey girls!

A big welcome to all the newbies!
been a day or so since i posted but no amazing news, still doing the 2ww for the 6th bloody time since my MC! I cant wait to get some tests done next week, the partner is done just waiting on the results. I envy you lucky ladies who dont have trouble getting pregnant! i want a countdown ticker :( 2 years is long enough come on BFP! quick send me some baby dust and such! im going to chart BBT and CM with fertility friend AND do OPK;s AND use the fertility monitor this cycle and HOPEFULLY this will work! I truly believe there is something going wrong once sperm meets egg as I have a 28 day cycle never been late! yet so much trouble also starting vitamin b6 this month. i want a BFP for partners Xmas pressie! have a lovely day ladies!

ME 21 DP 21
TTC#1 for 2 years
1 loss may 08
CD 26 of 28 day cycle
2 neg tests so far

21andTTC#1...... you must have this thread confused with another.... "you lucky ladies who dont have trouble getting pregnant" doesnt really apply to this thread.

Hey Miss Bec,

Glad you found this thread I should've mentioned it when we last chatted in the relationship thread....but now your here and take heart and be strong we are all here to support eacthother through this time in our lives.

Big hugs to you and try and be strong, as Angel has said often it gets better every day....

21andttc#1 - you must have this thread confused with another, just some advice, maybe you should have a chat to an IVF doctor because my friends sister's sperm doens't like her eggs so they had to use IVF to finally fall pregnant and they were lucky and fell on their first try so this might be something you could investigate??? goodluck

Big hellos to all the girls Jen (your chart looks promising had to check it out of course!!)

Easha - me thinks your UTD!!!! I couldn't hold out and would be pulling out those pregnancy tests big time!!

Got to go ladies off home now am extremly tired from a very big weekend....kisses!! Tam, plc,ruthie toccara, angel, jenuska, joey and everyone I've missed lots of babydust coming your way.!!! :)

missbec_ dont rush yourself only you will know when you are ready sweetie...
sending you lots of good vibes.
good luck sweetiexxxxxxx
cindeexxx

missbec - hello and :welcome: !! I am so so sorry to hear about your missed m/c at 9 weeks; I also lost an angel at 9 weeks in August. It's hard, but as Angel said, take it one step at a time (that's what I am still trying to do). I wish you all the strength and courage that you'll need.

I've been around here for 10 days only, and everyone in here is just so understanding and welcoming. It is a wonderful place where you can really let your emotions out. I hope you like it here, and I hope your stay here will be as short as possible.

a big :hug: to you

:angry:Temp dropped today and I have started spotting so it is all over for another month.
Sorry need to rant.... I am sooooo over this disappointment each and every month. You may recall me telling you that 10 women in my workplace are now pregnant - turns out there are 14 now..... and then I enter into these conversation were they say " we fell first go" :redface::redface:

Why cant it be me :wall::cry:

Sorry this is all about me