Wow, it's only been a day or so since I last logged in and so much is happening in here!!! So I'm afraid I'm not going to do any personals at the moment. Work has been REALLY busy, it's just crazy and I've been so tired at night. The last couple of days have been really, really tough for me and it's soo refreshing reading up on everyone's progress in here - you've all made me feel soooo much better!! I was actually PML at some of the comments - you girls are THE BEST!!! I love it and desperately needed to laugh.
Anyway, I really need to get a couple of things out, so I hope you don't mind!! Like I said above, the last couple of days have been so hard for me (so much so, that I couldn't even bring myself to log on here, it was all just too much and I was feeling really depressed, which is NOT like me at all). I'm sooooo worried about loosing the baby already (and it's only been 5 days since the BFP - how the hell am I going to get through the next 8 weeks)!! I was in tears last night and again this morning and I'm completely stressing out my wonderful DH. I just can't cope with it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I really need to stop reading books because as soon as I read about something that I don't have, I stress out. I guess I just want to be prepared for the worst. Every book and everyone I talk to goes on and on about having sore bbs - well NOT ME - mine haven't changed AT ALL!!!! What's with that. I know I'm not even five weeks yet but 'apparently' that's the first thing that happens. It's driving me MAD!!! :eek:
I think the fact that last time when I lost the baby, I didn't know that it had happened, is stressing me out even more (did that make sense). Everything was fine at 6 wks - heartbeat and all, then I got to 10 wks thinking everything was great - no bleeding, so all must be fine - only to be told at the scan that there was nothing there! My ob thinks it may have happened at about the 8 week mark, so I went 2 weeks without even knowing that my baby had gone!! I'm just so scared of that happening again.
Anyway enough of that, thanks for listening - I feel so much better. I told my close friends the news today, so that's making me feel a bit better too!! I'm determined to put all of the negativity and bad feelings behind me. I have to give our baby the best possible chance of surviving!! The more I stress, the worst it must be for the poor little cherub, so that's it - from here on in, it's all POSITIVE thoughts. I'm going to try and get stuck into work and not think about the anything. Only 2 weeks until I see my ob - so that will help.
I'm so sorry to spoil the good mood in here - everyone seemed really happy and I'm sooooo sure they'll be a few BFP's in the next couple of weeks - I'm hearing some good signs!!!! GL everyone and thanks again, I don't know why I'm letting this get to me soo much, I should be over the moon about being pg but I just feel so sad.
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