Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ February 2011

Hello Everyone.. Sorry ive been MIA for a while. Just finding the TTC journey hard this time.
Just need to vent a lil .. please dont mind me.

I found out 2 lovely ladies are pregnant this weekend. Really pleased for both. Really sad im not joining them at this stage.
I had the 25th of Nov im my dreams and in my head at random times.. was really hoping it meant something. But even now as I think im heading into the twt.. im sure we missed the boat again.

Someone PLEASE shut my brain up!

sorry for the very selfish post.

I think it's okay to be selfish in here hun. I also feel sad and left out or left behind right now. We've just been to a BBQ where there were some friends who announced recently. She is starting to show a little bit. What hurts is that I was ahead of her. I'm happy for her and I know it's not a race, but it just doesn't seem right or fair. We would have been pg together.

Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

Thanks Phebee.
Now im obsessing over my "charts" ... im my own worst enemy. i haven't taken temps ever. But just noting down CM ect.
HUGS
Hope we both can be joining the belly club again very soon.

Hi Girls,

thought I'd jump in and introduce myself, I was in this thread awhile ago after I had a missed miscarriage. I went on to have a high risk pregnancy that produced my precious DD. My Hubby and I are currently TTC #2. Its my first cycle and hoping it's a normal 28 day cycle and I actually ovulate as I have pcos which meant it was hard to fall pregnant and I ended up using fertility drugs last time. This thread helped my so much last time. Even though I have my DD I am still terrified of losing another bub. Hope to get to know you gals better in the future!

Welcome erybery - I'm not technically here, but I'm here every day, lol. You'll get a lot of support from in here! Here's hoping your stay will be short and sweet.

MM - just wanted to pop in and say I hope the FET went well yesterday :crossfingers: bubs thawed beautifully and is finding a lovely warm home for the next 9 months :)

Welcome erybery! Sorry you had to be one of the ones who ends up in here. I hope that this TTC is short and sweet for you! :)

MM - yes! Let us know how it went!

MMM - right now, right now my sweet, you are technically pregnant... hoping little embie stays sticky for you. Stay snug little one.

Erybery - welcome, and I am sorry for your angel, but oh so happy about your DD. I hope your TTC stay is a quick one this time around and a safe preg. If you don't mind my asking why were you classified as high risk during your preg with DD?

Mia - hugs hun.

Tascha - it's ok to be selfish It is one of most lonely feelings, when everyone else seems to be announcing their pregnancy, and you're not. As happy as you might be for them, it's just another harsh reminder that you're not pregnant and a heartbreaking reminder of what could have been. I have a friend and she m/c once and then for a brief time we were pregnant together. Then I m/c and then she did. I never want to be pregnant at the same time and about the same stage as her again, cause I don't need the extra worry. I had to chuckle about you and your charts.... I am starting up mine again, but keep forgetting to take my temp. TBH, I am not sure the fear of losing a baby ever goes away, but what you do have is some belief that you can do it. And you'll need to hang on to that!

Phebee - hugs.

Mummytotwo - I was just looking at your sig and noticed that your DD was a 10+lb'er! Mine too! Did you have a caesarean or vaginal birth with her? Just curious.

thanks so much ladies for your support,yes embie survived thawing,transfer went well,had acupuncture before & after,had some blood streaked cm last night ,hoping it was implantation,bit early though i think.Might of been from having the speculum treatment...

well ladies went to gyno, he said my cervix etc looks normal, got an appointment monday for internal u/s and hoping it finishes by monday. Will give him a call then to see whats happening. AF is still around, im still grumpy and so over it. Anemia is setting in too :(

mia01-sorryfor your loss,hope your next bfp comes quicker this time around...eybery-i remember you from my stalking bb days,took me a while to feel up to posting.Sorry for your loss,hope you get your next bfp quick..dory,tasha & phebee-good luck with the temping,in 27 months of ttc,that is one thing i haven't tried...shan-did dr put you on iorn supplement?,hope dh is cooking you lots of steak dinners

hi
my husband and i have been married just over a year and have been TTC since about May last year. Went off the pill in May and had original bleed and then no period for 6months. then had two normal cycles of 39 days length and fell pg on the second normal cycle.
We went for our 8 week scan with the doc 8 feb 2011 and found we had had a missed miscarriage at 6 weeks. I was devastated. had to go into hospital the next day for a D&C and he also put me on 50mg clomid the day after that (he said day 2 of "period") due to my long periods and how long it took for my periods to start once off the pill, so i am now on day 41 of cycle (and no not preg have done HPT with Neg results) and just feeling so frustrated and fed up with the whole thing. My husband and I want to start trying again but obviously cant until i get a period!

has anyone on here been on clomid due to long cycles and it not made any difference or made your periods stop?also has anyone else been put on clomid straight after a D&C? im just so confused about what is happening inside me and just wish it would sort itself out! I thankfully have my six week check up on thursday so hopefully he will be able to give me some answers.

sorry for the long post. just so many questions!

mv2b

Hi Girls,
thanks for the warm welcome. I already feel "safe" posting my fears in here.

Dory - Don't mind a bit you asking, I know your story as I read the pregnancy after m/c thread as it was a very supportive group for me when I was in there even though the people continually change!
Apart from my gyno issues - pcos and endometriosis I was high risk as at 9 weeks I was told to terminate my DD as they thought she was incompatible with life! She had high nuchal fluid and they suspected trisomy 13 or 18 which are every serious and most babies dont survive outside the womb. It wasn't found on the Nuchal translucency test, just in my ob's rooms on his ultrasound, but then of course was sent for specialists scans which confirmed the nuchal fluid. I can't really remember my stats but I remember reading something and saying "geez I may as well be 48 and being pregnant!" anyways, long story short, had to wait till I was 11.5 weeks for cvs testing - which I was terrified of miscarriage again as had just lost my first, but the unknown was just to scary. Had genetic counselling and found in my whole extended family I was the only one who had miscarried and had fertility issues and had what they thought was a serious problem with the baby. I had the cvs and it came back fine, meanwhile had bleeding and cramping, continually thinking I had lost my DD. Then they said its probably a heart defect so had a cardiac scan for that and was being seen by my ob every few days- every 2 weeks at the most. Then when the fluid resolved (by 20 weeks) they said she will probably be ok but she may have some unknown syndrome we wont know about till shes born - so constant high stress and anxiety, which wasn't helped by a baby who hardly moved!!

anyways, that was an epic answer lol. In the end was induced at 38 weeks for the sake of my sanity and the fact I wasnt really feeling her move. BUT it all turned out well in the end. My DD was born healthy - apart from severe reflux, some low muscle tone and asthma!!!

Matthews mum - I have kept up with your journey too, wish you weren't still here TTC. I really hope you have success this cycle :)

Minivini - I know your frustration, I was having 70+ cycles and not ovulating. With the baby I miscarried I was just about to start clomid, but had a bloodtest just to make sure and I was but lost that baby and had a d&C at 10 weeks. Then my AF didn't return so after 2.5 months my gyn/ob put me on the pill 2 tablets a day twice a day for 7 days to bring on AF so that I could clear my lining out and start on the 50mg clomid - and lucky for me it worked first time. Because I only took it for one cycle Im not sure about it not making Af stop. Perhaps the dosage needs to be put up if its still not making you ovulate???

AFM - very annoyed today and feeling down as I have had no signs of ovulation yet. My skin is terrible, I have awful headaches and I feel so out of sorts and Ive only been off the pill for a few weeks now. I am scared the pcos has already kicked in. I have worked really hard the past 6 months going to the gym every day and have lost 8kg, I am not lighter than what I was when I fell with my DD. I am back in the healthy weight range for my BMI. My gyn/ob told me my weight wasnt an issue last time, but I know that any weight loss can help when you have hormonal probs like myself. He told me last time to give it 6 months TTC and then come and see him, but Im thinking if my cycles are going to be out of whack again straight away I may ring an get an appoint sooner - It normally takes 3 months at least to get in to see him anyways! But I know I am getting ahead of myself!

Anyways, I don't usually post long posts like this, so don't worry!!!

Baby dust to you all!!!! xxx

Tashca - could still be in the running for the 25th. It might not be your edd but if bubs came a little bit early.....Good luck anyway & hope your coping ok with the pg announcements around you.
phebee - same for you sweetie. I hate reflecting on what might have been - even seeing my belly buddies due group around the threads (for May 2011) hurts me somedays.
MM - glad all has gone to plan so far. Is it still pretty much 2 wks til testing? All the best hun.
shan85 - yay for things looking normal (your cervix) but that af of yours needs to STOP! Hope the u/s goes well!
minivoni2b - hugs to you. I was on clomid not for long cycles but as something to try (apparently I did ovulate on my own but coldnt fall pg). I stared clomid the cycle after my d&c. Hope it works a treat for you!
erybery - hope O is just around the corner for you!
Dory - DD was a c/s. I laboured with DS but labour did not progress so c/s & when DD looked like being bigger than him I was booked in for c/s auto with her. What about you? Don't tell me vag birth????? It's like birthing 3 mnth olds huh? :)
Anyway, hi to anyone I missed!

Mathew's Mum- YAY for embie going well. What's the nest step on embie's journey?

Ery - oh sweetie, not so much an epic answer as an epic pregnancy with DD. You did so well.... you must just look at DD and think, wow, you are truly a miracle! I would make an appointment with the obs now, if it takes that long to get an appointment. Hope you get out of your funk. Go and do something nice for yourself.

I hear you on the weight. I am 10kg's heavier now than when I conceived Hannah and 20 from when I first conceived in July 08. Having PCOS makes the weight so hard to lose, like you to lose weight I was at the gym every day and doing intense exercise. It makes me feel disheartened now, as I know just how much work it is. My obs, who is also an FS has never said anything about my weight. I suppose it's not been an issue for me so far, but it was in the past. Hoping it's not now. If and when my cycle returns, I am only going to wait 3 cycles before I go back. But I don't have age on my side either.

Mummytotwo - nah, emergency c section under general anaesthtic due to HELLP, though was booked in for an elective c section the next day.... my girl just knew how to save me some $, as once I was admitted to hossy, all the services became "in patient" so all covered by private health, no gap. Phew. I had been planning the vag though.... eek.

minivinib2 - can't help but wanted to say I'm sorry about your dear precious one. And congrats on getting married, a lot to deal with in your first year! Hope you did something nice for your anniversary.

Shan - glad the cervix looks good.... bugger off AF. Hope the u/s goes well and there's nothing retained or anything else.

Melzi - how's your hand? How are you?

AFM - remembered to temp today!

Dory my hands fine thanks and I'm going okish...

How are you?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

All good here today.... the sun is shining and it feels like it's actually warming my heart today. Hugs

hi girls.
hope you are all doing well this week. easier end of week for me with my boss being away which is nice. been a rough couple of days lately.

seems to be harder now than it was a few weeks ago. I think i was overly hopeful that i might have been pregnant again by now (wishful thinking!!) or atleast well into my second cycle and up until yesterday no sign of AF which i guess was just frustrating me and getting me down. had a bit of a teary at work yesterday which was embarrassing! hard as well with it now being around the time i would of started showing and when we would have started telling people.

i have had some hope this morning when i just went to the bathroom and there was some pinky-redish mucus when i wiped so hubby and i are very hopeful this is AF coming and we can FINALLY start our month of trying to conceive. I see the doc tmrw so am going to ask him about possibly increasing the Clomid dose to see if it will work better.

fingers crossed this is AF showing up! :pray:

baby dust to every one in TTC

Hey ladies ... Off for a biopsy this morning ... Very scary stuff.. Went to the doctors yesterday and the lumps in my breasts seemed to be of concern...

And to top it off I think my SIL is pregnant and that really S**** me off! She has just signed up for a 630k mortgage and has no one to rent out her second house. She's too busy to even see us so how is she going to be able to have a baby! She's self employed and her hubby works away and they haven't even been trying.... At all. :( fml!!!


I hope to god that this is my month I'm really starting to get sour with this whole ttc thing...

Sorry about the whoas me vent ladies...

I'll be back on shortly for persies... X


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

good luck melzi - i hope everything comes back normal!

MM - So glad the transfer went well! FX for you that this bub is a sticky!

Shan - GL for your appointment. Really hoping AF goes away, along with the anaemia!

minivini2b - I'm so sorry about your loss :( I also had a missed miscarriage, only discovered at my 12 week scan. It's just devastating isn't it? :( Really praying that your AF comes back soon! *huge hugs* Let us know how the checkup goes

erybery - Wow what you went through for your DD! Hoping your O happens soon! Well done on the weight loss. Maybe book the appt just in case but praying you won't need it!

mummytotwo - yes, my Belly Buddies group (due August 1st - 15th 2011) is not that talkative and I really wish they were because I still keep getting notifications for that thread. So of course I go to read it, cause I'm happy for them and want to make sure everything's going well for them, but at the same time it hurts. I wish they'd start chatting more and make themselves start a new thread so I didn't have the notifications hanging around in my email and it wouldn't be high on the 'participated threads' list on Tapatalk.

melzi19 - Oh hun, I really really hope there is nothing to the lumps! *big hugs* Please let us know how the biopsies went! Um... you *think* your SIL is pregnant? Do you know for sure? Sounds like she is too busy! Don't you hate it when we agonise to TTC, then end up losing it and other people can just go and conceive and have sticky babies when they didn't even want to? Doesn't seem fair!


AFM - nothing much happening here. I'm on CD 8 and I have just been temping away. It keeps zigzagging at the moment, which is weird. I'm just puzzled about my CM cause it doesn't seem to do anything over my entire cycle. I've tried to chart it before but I always find it's the same. I don't notice an obvious variation. TMI but it always seems to be sticky with tiny little white lumps. Now before you say anything about thrush, I've had thrush and it's not like this. Does anyone else get this?

good luck melzi! I hope the lumps are nothing and just benign. And, um, you're welcome to have a vent post - we all do it!

phee - I would have been in that BB group too with our angel :( You can unsubscribe, then you wont have to deal with the notifications. Doesn't take away the what ifs though does it.

sending lots of sticky vibes your way MM.

Loving you all - the support here is awesome. Just wishing you all big stick bfps very soon, wonderful women like you make wonderful Mums.

I'm sure it's nothing but hormones etc...

I might not be online for a while.

Sorry ladies :( xx


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi ladies, sorry havent been online much, been too sick. Well day 20 (i think) is here and still got AF. Im waiting for the doctor to reopen after lunch to speak to him. Am feeling like dung, am tired and am truly dissapointed with myself!!
Well hope everyones well and welcome to the new ladies

Shan - hope you got to see your Dr and start to feel better soon... hugs.

Melzi - hugs too, hormones or not, all valid feelings. FX for good results on your bioposy.

I get my results this arvo......


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oh.... my breath just caught in my throat... at least you'll know soon enough....

Hi girls.
Melzi I hope u got some good news at the doctors this arvo.
Shan- 20 days! OMG I'd be going out of my mind! Hope u also get some good news from ur doc.

Afm - well it's definitely AF and I am so relieved! I am feeling so much more positive about everything just knowing we are now in our next month of TTC! The doc has put up the clomid to 100mg for days 2-6 so I'm feeling really optimistic. FX for a 28 cycle and I am so hoping for a BFP at Easter.

Baby dust to everyone!

Results are in... I have to have a lumpectomy.

Nasty lumps. :( I knew it was something bad :( :cry: I'm shaking so bad...

Then they are going to reassess the situation. And let me know where I stand.

The doc is sending me to a specialist/surgeon.

I'm numb.

I'm 24 this year. I'm not supposed to go through this yet...

Girls, regular breast checks please.... I wish I did. :( :cry:

Going to crawl back into my shell now... Go home and go to bed...

Thanks for the support ladies. xx

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Melzi - thinking of you.... hugs and love. Here if you need to vent.

Oh melzi, I'm so sorry hun! :hug: 24 is too young! Will the lumpectomy get rid of it?

:pray: for you!

Oh Melzi! What awful news, you're right you are far too young - any age is too young. Oh I wish I could give you a real hug :hug:
I hope you see a fabulous surgeon who gets you sorted straight away. Oh sweetheart - please don't disappear, I know we'll all want to be there for you through this really awful time.

Oh melzi - so sorry hun! When is the lumpectomy scheduled? I will pray for you that it can be sorted quickly & successfully.
Pls try & stay positive. As if ttc isn't hard enough that something like this has to be thrown into the mix :(
Thinking of you sweety & pls keep us informed if you want some extra support cos we're all here for you.
Hi to everyone else x

Hi girls,

Melzi - so sorry you are going through this :(

AFM - still no signs of ovulation, I went to my gp and got a bloodtest form to check ovulation day 21 (which is sunday) so will go monday. If I havent ovulated I will know that the pcos is def back and will prob ring and make an appoint with the gyno! ahhh, I told myself I wasn't going to stress out TTC this time and here I go again! lol

Erybery, Sunday is my O day too! Hoping you O & we can be TWW buddies :)

Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

melzi - i hope everything goes as smoothly as it can for the op. you just have to think positively - which i know is hard to do. my brother has been fighting cancer since he was in high school and is now 28 and still beating the odds. I hope you have a good doctor that can help you through everything.

AFM - i have started the 100mg clomid this morning. was going to wait till tonight incase i get side effects but i was too impatient lol i felt like i was wasting 12 hours if i didnt take it till tonight! for those that have had clomid before - have you had any side effects and if so when do they start?

afternoon everyone,mimivini2b-welcome to the thread,sorry for your loss.I've been on clomid before & didn't find the side effects that bad,but of course everyone is different,good luck with it....shan85-how did you go at dr?..melzi-thinking of you,hugs...ladies-once again thank you for your supportive words....afm-i'm in the 1ww,bt is next thursday,but i think i'll poas before then,just in case it;s a bfp but with low prog (then ivf clinic might give me some prog pessaries).Haven't had any more spotting since night of transfer ,boobs are a bit sore but i have been poking them,seeing oesteopath tomorrow,acupuncturist next week

hi ladies, firstly melzi, my thoughts are with u and praying for a speedy recovery.
AFM- couldnt speak to my gyno as he is on a confrence til monday grrrr so went to the gp again this morning and he sent me to emergancy. Still changing pads every hour (sorry tmi) and feel like im gunna flood everytime i stand. Im borderline anemic so no blood transfusion but im on twice the promult n and on a coagulant now to stop it bleeding. U/S monday at 830

shan, I'm glad your GP was sensible - that's way too much bleeding, I didn't realise you were bleeding so much, that's not normal sweetie! I hope you're on plenty of iron too, even low normal is really too low on iron (take it from someone who's currently anaemic :( ). Take care of yourself, I hope the meds work quickly and the U/S shows nothing that needs to be looked after.

Praying for you and melzi - I hope that doesn't offend either of you!

shan-glad you got some more meds,hope your able to get some rest over the weekend,you must be totally exhausted,hope the u/s gives you some answers

thanks ladies, lol no rest for the wicked, gotta work tomorrow 3-9 so nice sleep in tomorrow and pray its gone tonight. Its only gotten really really bad over the last 2 days so im gunna rest tonight and see what tomorrow brings. Bit hard to rest with A NEW PUPPY lol