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I'm going to be selfish and do a "me" post as there is just so much going on in here I don't think I could keep up, but I will wish everyone :pink-babydust::bluedust::stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesbo y::bluedust: AF turned up late yesterday afternoon, which in one sense I am glad about as now I can possibly start a new cycle (which I hope behaves) and I know where I am at. Shame it didn't stay away for a good nine months or so. So now I have the option of starting back on tamoxifen on the same dose I have been on, or doubling it (and doubling the side effects) or do what DH wants, which is for me to take nothing this cycle and see what happens. Decisions to make........
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Hi all, got my results from BT on Thurs, Hcg only 2 so it has definately failed again. My progesterone is 30.6 and estrogen 251, so both good, but my LH is less then 1. So he thinks this is the reason for continuous implantation/mc problems. Has anyone else had this problem? Guess I really have to go to a FS now if I want another baby. Arggh.
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Jodsan- I am so sorry. At least you know you were right about the implantation. I hope you decide to go to FS and get some answers and hopefully a quick fix. :hug: Thinking of you.
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Jodsan - Thanks for the congrats about my degree. I've sort of stayed in the sciency field but am not actually using my degree at the moment (I know, silly huh?!). I'm a surgical vet nurse. Oh, except during the tww when I don't do surgery or xrays anymore "just in case" ;) During the tww I'm pretty much reduced to admin and consults... I'm fine with that though because I'll do anything to help my "maybe baby" :)
I really loved my degree though. I loved all the biology and zoology subjects I did. And ecology, evolution, microbiology... ok I loved it all, lol!!
Is there any chance you could start a study group with some of the people at your uni to make some friends? Maybe DH could look after you DS for an extra hour or two while you study. I had a great group of friends at uni and a couple of them were older. Oh, and 34 is sooooooo not old :P
And finally, I'm sorry to hear about your hcg only being 2. I hope you don't have to go to a FS to have another baby, but if you think that it is needed, then don't hesitate to get a referral to one. There is no shame in asking for a little help to create a miracle!!
Tina - I read your story about bursting into tears when someone asked you "how are you?" and I have done that too. One of my bosses asked me if I was ok the other day and my eyes welled up and my face went red. I just turned around so he couldn't see and said "yup, all good" and walked off. I don't know why I tried to hide it though, I guess I was just embarrassed. I hope you are feeling better now.
Jen - Yup, AF was kicked out the door so hard I hope she's scared to ever come back!!
My adivse for the day: "Never ever forget the copy and paste shortcuts" LOL! It's a bit anal of me, but I always select everything I wrote in a post and copy it before I hit the button to post it just in case I lose it. That way if the forum has a spaz I can just paste it again :D
Now... what is your naughty temp doing? I had another look and expected to see a nice 3 day rise of temps, but nooooooo. At least your CM and ovulation pain are giving you the right signs. Bring on your little girl!!!
Mollycat - Sorry to see that you are back on CD1 :( And I'm sorry you have the hard decision of what to do about your tamoxifen dose. What ever you decide, bring on ovulation so you can make your little bundle!!
Katiegirl - We haven't really met, but I wanted to congratulate you on your pregnancy and send you lots of hugs. Are you in a belly buddy group? I bet all the other girls in there are a bit jealous that you get to see your bubs weekly ;) I hope you feel much more confident in a weeks time!
pbstar - 18 DPO? Any news yet? I hope it's a bfp and not just a long cycle. Thinking of you!
Vanaithi - Yay for late ovulation! I'm so glad you are still in the game this cycle! Have fun in tassie.
Toccara - How strange is it to be happy about AF coming? Lol. But I'm glad that you have been giving your fresh start and I'm sure you'll have you bfp in no time!
Jenushka - Yeah, I'm going to wait until the end of my current cycle and if I think there's a chance I'm UTD then I'll get the BT done and cross my fingers. Your gp sounds great! My gp is pretty good, but I just can't seem to find a gp that I'm as comfortable with as I was with my childhood gp.
Try not to worry too much and enjoy your pregnancy!
Smilanatu - Yay for AF not showing yet! I can't wait to hear your news on Monday!
You know you're addicted to BB when:
6. You feel like you are wasting urine when you don't pee on a stick
7. You see abreviations in everyday life and try to work out what they mean in the TTC world (eg. DVD must stand for something like "doing vjayjay dance"...)
Me - CD6. I hate the first two weeks before O. Well, except the "ff period" ("fun fertile period") ;)
I did some major cleaning today. You know how sometimes as much as you clean your bathroom, you just get the feeling it's not quite clean enough? Well I felt that today, so I got out the scrubbing brush, cloths, cleaning toothbrush and disinfectants and did a total overhaul. Pulled the toilet apart and scrubbed it. And even washed the walls. It looks pretty clean now!
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Hi Krystielove - thanks for the hello. No I am not in a Belly Buddy group. I was last year with Nathaniel but it is too hard to do that again. I stick to the Preg after Late Loss group as all the women understand how stressful this pregnancy is. I don't think I would actually deal with people getting excited about my scans - it is kind of sad that I feel the need to have them weekly really. Even my friends know not to overcrowd me with excitement - I just find it all too hard to deal with. I like when they offer support and quiet excitement but can't deal with jumping up and down sort of stuff. This has been a dream pregnancy so far but I still can't relax enough to enjoy it. I guess that is our lot in life when we lose what we so dearly wanted and cherished. I hope your TTC journey is a short one. I don't post in here to much but I always keep an eye on everyone especially any BFP announcements. Sorry to hear you had a 'moment' at work. It is always so hard to know what will set you off - :hug:
Jen - I am glad I gave you the open to come into the recurrent and late loss thread. Thankfully we are a small group (not really a crowd I would want anyone to have to hang with) but we all try our best to help each other through our losses. I find your contributions to this thread to be really inspirational - especially the fact that you can keep track of everyone!
Tina - I am so sorry you have had a rough week. Don't feel bad about crying at work. It is so hard to hide our emotions when they are so raw and close to the surface. Does anyone at your work know about your miscarriage last year? I generally reserve my tears for home but that is because I can't deal with people's faces when I do cry! I end up even more embarrassed than them. I really hope things start to improve for you and that your TTCing brings you a bit more happiness this coming cycle.
Hi to everyone else and I hope you all have lovely weekends.
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Katiegirl..... It is sooooo good to hear from you.... HUGE hugs hun..... and I know you know... but hey... you also know I m going to say it..... ONE DAY AT A TIME GIRLFRIEND.... ONE DAY AT A TIME :comfort: love and prays coming your way big time :pray:
Nickster..... Ohhh goodness.. its like an oldtime reunion.... now were is Starrysky.... PLC1805..... ll80 (laura)... ohhh goodness there are so many of you now.
Sorry for my rudeness.... to everyone else in here, these are all amaizing ladies, they "occupied" this thread at the beginning of this year..... and they are now all very very very pregnant...... infact, most of the ladies that "occupied" this thread earlier in the year are pregnant......... so please... take that onboard.... take the positive from that... and when you feel that its all to much.... think of these amaizing, wonderful women....just like yourselves... and think to yourself... if they can make it so can I...... and what gave them the strength to keep going...... each other. :grouphug:
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Hey all - it's been a while since I've posted in here.. I'm in the TWW this time, but not really caring - we've moved house, working full time and basically not getting a life to ourselves. Before I go further, sorry for the 'me' post - after the day at work I had, I just need to let things out.
I'm 8DPO and I'm not at all worried if anything happened this cycle, I honestly don't care. I'm feeling sick again, but I guess I'm getting that alot more often before AF comes, yesterday and the day before I had cramping in my tummy, which has now disappeared mostly (it comes and goes) and I THINK I've got a cold coming on because my nose doesn't stop dribbling. I'm so very exhausted but that's because I can barely sleep anymore and get bugger all sleep. They all seem like pgncy symptoms, but I think it's all from stress of moving.
Hope all you ladies are well, and I'm sending lots of sticky vibes
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It's gonna happen for you too ANGELBABIES - bday buddy!!!
Hello everyone - big big hugs!!!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the addicted to BB list - can totally relate to all of it!!!!!:cryinglaugh:
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Birthday Buddy.....Ohhhhh I know girlfriend....... quite typical of me you know.... my body is basically saying... I ll do it when I feel like doing it...... Ohhhh if you could speak to DH... you would so know... that thats me down pat....... No one pushes me to do something I m not ready to do....... so basically my body is doing that to me... its not ready.... BUT... one day soon it will be and I ll join you all.
As for that list.... Ohhhh seriously.... I ve been cracking up..... especially the "waisted urine" one.... and the "refresh after posting... incase you ve missed something" ..... really did Laugh out Loud..... serious :ROFL: :ROFL: :ROFL:
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Just thought id add to that list....
You know your'e addicted to BB when:
1) when you get excited about choosing a new ticker....oh the choices!!!!!
2) you actually think in emoticons and abbreviations...and occasionally call your husband DH....and he says, "what the hell did you call me????".
3) and the biggest one of all....DH actually asks if it was a light or dark "BFP" (not positive test) and whether or not you used "FMU" to test!!!! (all in abbreviations...)
By the way, I do many of the other things listed e.g. always copy my post before sending to avoid losing it, refresh to check on posts made whilst I was writing mine, have also thought about wasting urine....oh dear!!!!
On another note, Im feeling less and less confident about things as the days go by, I dont know why. I fully expect AF to arrive any minute, which im totally prepared for. I just wish I knew what was going to happen. I do feel pg, Im really tired, I have felt sick at times, kind of like the nauseas feeling you get when your hungry? BB's are sore also. But, I just dont trust those BFP's. They are light and not thick lines, theyre skinny and pale pink...even though visible from a distance. Oh well, I suppose only time will tell, I desperately want to test again tomorrow to see if the line is darker, but I dont know if I will yet. Oh the agony of it all.
Sorry this was such a 'me' post, I just need to get it off my chest.
I hope I can come back with a more positive post and share some great news with you all. And im praying for many more BFP's to come in the following weeks from you all.
Issy
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You know you're addicted to BB when:
1. You sign a 2-year contract and pay $60 more per month just to have wireless internet service for a 5 day camping trip! lol...
2. Your significant other walks in on you checking the position of your cervix, and actually gets turned on from it!
3. You resort to becoming an adult film industry advocate!
4. You read, post, and then refresh to read again in case you missed a post while posting!
5. You dream of being the first to post in the new thread!
6. You feel like you are wasting urine when you don't pee on a stick!
7. You see abbreviations in everyday life and try to work out what they mean in the TTC world (eg. DVD must stand for something like "Doing the vjay vjay dance"...) :rofl:
8. When you get excited about choosing a new ticker....oh the choices!!!!!
9. You actually think in emoticons and abbreviations...and occasionally call your husband DH....and he says, "what the hell did you call me????".
10. And the biggest one of all....DH actually asks if it was a light or dark "BFP" (not positive test) and whether or not you used "FMU" to test!!!! (all in abbreviations...)
11. When getting a coverline makes you so happy, you feel as though you won the lottery!
12. When you look forward to going to bed just so you can wake up in the morning and add a new temp!
13. You say you are taking a break from bb and then spend 24 hours trying to do anything but log on, including cleaning, washing, ironing, shopping, all the while saying to yourself don't do it don't do it don't do it before finally breaking down and getting your bb fix...
Looking great so far! Let me know if you think of any and I'll add them to the list! Still hoping this is ok with the mods!
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Ok, usually I do this in the order in which I received the posts, but I have to say first off to
Krystie-- Woo Hoo! Check out my coverline!!! :dance: I got a coverline! :cheer: My calendar looks so colorful--and it even shows what DPO I am (3DPO) and I've NEVER known what day I O'ed on, much less how many DPO I was!! :lol: you would think I just won a car or something! So glad to hear you kicked that witch out the door! I'm definitely going to take your advice and copy/paste posts before I send them--can't believe I didn't think of it sooner! Oh, and my bathroom's ready for you whenever you are! I've been looking at my bathroom for a week knowing it has to be cleaned, but just don't have the motivation to do it. I even thought of asking one of my kids to do it, but I'm pretty anal, and would probably be going behind them doing it my way, so may as well just wait for that motivation to come along.... it may be a while before that happens! lol...
Ok, now back on track...
mmteacher--You're about to give me gray hair, don't you know you're supposed to let us know when you're leaving town??? You had me worried! lol... do I sound like your mom, or what? Hope you enjoyed your trip to Vegas--did you win big, or lose big? Glad to hear things are going well with you, will count down the sleeps (or wakeups) with you until you see that beautiful :heartbeat: 9 more to go!!!
mollycat--Sorry about AF, but happy that at least you finally know what's going on and where you stand. Praying that this cycle will behave itself! Good luck with your decision re: tamoxifen. Are the side effects horrible?
Jodsan--Sorry to hear about your hcg results. :( May I ask what the LH is supposed to be, you said it was less than 1, so was just wondering what it should be? Good luck with the FS if that's the route you decide to take. Sending you massive big hugs!
Katiegirl--Thanks for the compliment, you have no idea how much it means to me! I was wondering about your scan on Tue., I think you said it was a morph scan, or something? Is it different than your usual weekly scans?
Angel babies--I agree, we're all here to draw strength from each other! I couldn't imagine going through this with anyone else, and truly believe that we've all come together for reasons beyond our knowledge or control! Hope things are well with you! Got any ideas for the Addicted to BB list?
LizJessie--So glad to see you're back and in the TWW! I just found out this am that I'm 3DPO, so looks like I'm in the TWW, as well! You sound much more relaxed this cycle--praying those are BFP symptoms you're having!
Hi plc! Thinking of you always!
issy--I think it's time for you to toss out those hpt's and go get some BT's done! You're anxiety level must be extremely high right now--and you're making mine extremely high in anticipation for you! lol... Seriously, though, if you've had at least 2 BFP's, light or not, that's a pretty sure sign that you're pg.-- and you deserve to enjoy knowing you're pg,, and to experience the joys of being pg--don't rob yourself of that! Sending more :stickyvibesgirl: your way!
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Good Morning to everyone
Jen - just had a peep at your chart - you have a big fat red cross - that means your now in the TWW :pray: for you that everything works out well. Side effects are headaches, nausea and feeling light headed (similar to clomid). I end up with headaches as soon as AF is due and they usually stay around until AF leaves, just seems to be worse with tamoxifen so haven't really decided what to do yet, I'll have to decide before tomorrow. Love that list.
Issy - I agree with Jen - go get a BT. It's not good for you to stress and at least that way you'll have a decent answer, get a few requests so you can check your levels too. OK. I'll get back down off my box now. :hug:
LizJessie - hopefully things will settle down for you, sounds like you've had a lot on recently. :goodluck2: with the TWW
Krystielove - I'm in line behind Jen - my new bathroom is waiting to be cleaned, (you'll have to wait until the tiling is finished though. Dh's friend has finished putting the remaining tiles just needs to grout, they're working on the kitchen tiles now. I've decided not to clean the old bathroom as we'll be ripping it out soon anyway. We started to rip out the old kitchen over the last few days but tend to leave it and do other jobs.
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Jen - Yeah, I've got no idea what the LH is supposed to be, anywhere between 1-10 is the range it says on the results for "normal". But I've got no idea why being less than 1 is a problem at 9dpo? Cos it's obvious that I ovulated with my progesterone being 30? I thought all the LH did was surge to bring on O? I posted in a thread and noone has answered so I assume noone knows what the hell this means. This is why I avoid doctors, all they focus on is numbers without considering all the other factors. From what I can tell from extensive googling, there is nothing in those results that gives an indication as to why implantation didn't occur. I am going to take the results to my naturopath before booking in to see a FS.
Yey for coverline!!! Good luck with your TWW!!!
Issy - Thinking of you sweets. I agree with Jen, just go get the BTs done. The pale lines could be more to do with how diluted your urine is than the actual amout of hcg in your system. You really need to know the numbers and whether they are doubling. The symptoms sound really good, sounds like you get your nausea when your blood sugar gets a bit low, just eat little snacks often and you should feel better. Dont worry about the "you" post, we are all here to support you through this. :hug:
KrystieLove - This is the 3rd doctor that has referred me to a FS and I've justbeen putting it off, so I'm going to have to accept my fate eventually! I just really, really, really hate doctors. Good luck with the ff period!!
Katiegirl - so glad to hear that its going well.
Mollycat - Sorry about AF :hug: and sorry I was too busy doing "me" posts yesterday.
Nickster - Yey for 21 weeks and lovely kicks and belly! So glad its going so well!
Big hello to Angelbabies, PLC, LJ, Sandy, Smilanatu, mmteacher (and everyone else I've missed) :hello:
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mollycat--That is a nice big fat red cross, isn't it? It's ridiculous how happy it's made me! :lol: Sounds like you have a tough decision to make--I'm sure whatever you decide will be the right choice for you. :crossfingers: for you!
Jodsan--Good luck with the naturopath, and hopefully you'll get this all figured out without having to see the FS! Sending big hugs and positive vibes your way! :hug:
Krystie--Where are you, girl? Have you checked out my killer coverline--I thought you were stalking my chart?? :rofl: You know I'm just teasing! Hope you're out enjoying your Sunday!
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hey jen
another one for your list
you know you are addicted when you say you are taking a break from bb and then spend 24 hours trying to do anything but log on, including cleaning, washing, ironing, shopping, all the while saying to yourself don't do it don't do it don't do it before finally breaking down and getting your bb fix...
issy- hun just wanted to send you a monster :hug:, i am thinking of you always and :pray: for you. i really have a good feeling this is going to be a sticky one for you and you deserve to be enjoying this time. hope you take everyone's advice and get some blood tests this week to put your mind at rest.
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Hi Ladies,
Thankyou for all of your support, but I think it may be all over...
I went to bed last night thinking that my bb's were less sore, and I had a bit of period pain not cramping just back pain. Then I took my temp this morning and it was low, had dropped quite a bit and bb's less sore still. So...im expecting af to turn up any minute. Usually she would hav arrived by now, but im still waiting. My cervix is still high and closed and I dont have any cramping or back pain, so she might come tomorrow, but either way, she's on her way.
So, thats that! Im really ok, surprisingly. I kind of knew this was going to happen, so I completely detached myself from it all. And now I almost feel relieved somehow, like I finally know whats going on. Ill keep you all posted, and I am so grateful for all of your support and kind words of encouragement. You guys make everything so much easier to get through.
:hug: for you all,
Issy
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Ok....im soooo sorry ladies, I know this is going around in circles but I did another test cause af still hasnt shown and she always does when I have a temp drop, anyway it was a BFP and a......clear dark line.....:dance:
I feel ok at the moment, no pain, bb's seem to be sore again, I think they get less painful when I dont wear a bra but when I put a bra on, they are very sore. So im not sure why there was a temp drop, but we will see tomorrow what it says. I am def going to get a bt tomorrow, and hopefully it will be good numbers.
Ok thats it for now, im sorry ladies to take you on this stressful rollercoaster with me :redface:
Issy
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HI Girls,
I know I haven't been in here much. I'm still trying to keep up with everyone, plus I have stacks of work to do. I just needed to share.
I went shopping for bridesmaids shoes today (my cousin is getting married) & the other bridesmaid announced she is pregnant!! Due the same time I would have been if my bub had of not got stuck in my tube :(:(.
I was very polite and brave, but felt real crap inside. I hope I get my BFP before the wedding. I think that will help.
Jodsan, I'm sorry you didn't get any replies. I was hoping someone had some advice for you. I hope the naturopath helps.
issy- It doesn't sound like you are totally out yet but here a :hug: anyway.
jen- I am def. addicted to BB- love the list everyone!
Hi to everyone!!:)
Just one more question:
Has anyone had brown spotting a few days after AF has left? I've had a bit. Maybe my body is still trying to settle down. I hope this doesn't mess with my chances this month.
Thank you everyone for welcoming me. I remember reading a few weeks ago about someone not finding a thread they felt they belonged to (sorry I forgot who it was). I feel a little bit like that.
The hardest part of accepting my loss is the fact that it was my body that was the problem. Not the egg. As the Doc said, 'it was somehow trapped in the tube'. I really wonder if it would have been easier to know that it mis-carried itself & not have to be removed through surgery.
Sorry for rambling. I just let my mind go. I feel a little better getting all that out.
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oh issy :hug::hug::hug:
what a rollercoaster for you! yay for the BFP:dance: i knew it!!!
don't feel bad for taking us all on this rollercoaster, thats what we're here for.
saying lots of :pray: for you and let us know how your bt goes.
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issy- I missed your post while posting. I had a good feeling. I didn't think you were out. Go and get that BT, so you can check your levels.Yay for you!!!!:dance:
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OMG Jen - You are so funny! And you want to know the freaky thing? I actually checked your chart and got super excited before I even checked your posts! LOL! How amazing are those little red lines?! And it's guessed you ovulated pretty much when you knew from your bodies other signs that you had. That's so fantastic! It's so nice to know you can trust your bodies signals :)
I'll be back later for more persies, but I have to get ready for work. I realllllly don't want to go because I woke up really sick (then went back to bed until 2pm!). My chart is going to be all over the place because I have a fever. It was nearly half a degree higher than usual when I first woke up, but now my temp is nearly 2 degrees higher than my usual. That's probably bad yeah? It's nearly 38 degrees C. I've taken a couple of panadol to hopefully bring it down. I'm sure it's just a cold and am praying it's not the flu. I just want to be better so that I can DTD at the right time and I know it's bad to have a fever when you are preg or TTC... :crying:
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Go ISSY! :goodluck2::hooray::happyforyou:
Now go and get your BT 2morrow that is an order!:hug:
Rach xx
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You're a funny one rach...luv ya hun :hug:
BTW - Ill ring you tomorrow to organise a time to meet, ill bring the decaf :lol:
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YAY ISSY!! :dance: Make sure you let us know as soon as you have the bt results. :hug: and here's some :stickyvibesgirl: too
krystielove - straight back to bed for some rest young lady ;)
afm - just doesn't seem real yet. It's not that I'm not happy, I definitely am, just don't think it's sunk in yet. From memory it took ages for it to sink in with my other 2 pg's so all very normal! Very much feels like I'm taking one day at a time, but that's good I think - my brain is being kind to me at the moment... the earliest I could get in for my viability scan was 16 July when I'll be about 9w. It's a bit too far away for me so I'm on a waiting list there and hopefully will get an appt in the next 2-3 weeks. I have my spare bt referrals if I need some reassurance between now and then anyway.
Thanks for letting me ramble, but gotta fly - ds has found me hiding in the study on the computer and is now climbing all over me asking me to be a froggy... better go :)
:hug::pink-babydust::stickyvibesboy: to all ...
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hope you all have had a great weekend, i saw the doc on friday and next cycle he is putting me on clomiphene.
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Time for a fresh start in a new thread :)
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bettyboop - at last you have an answer - clomid can have a few yuck side effects but lots of people have great results :goodluck2:
krystielove - hope you feel better tomorrow and took jenushka's advice and spent the day in bed
sandygirl :hug: it's always hard when someone else is where you want to be (or due when you should have been). It's not that you want to take anything away from them, you just want it for yourself. I so wanted to be pg before my due date but that's not going to happen and just one more thing to deal with.
Jen - still haven't made a decision, tempted to give it one more go on the same dosage and put up with side effects (hopefully it will be all worth it), wouldn't a crystal ball come in handy here
