Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ June/July 2010

Dory - Thanks for your wise words yet again. With all these pearls of wisdom you're giving me, it won't be long before I'm somewhat of an oracle like you are. :D

Possum - So sweet of you to congratulate me even in the midst of your own heartache. You're a shining example of strength. I'm so sorry for your loss, and very touched you would even mention me at all. And I know how hard it is when there's a 'pregnancy convention' happening at a time like this. Do your best to bury your head in the sand, and just focus on healing. Take care, sweetie.

Reet - Yep, going to the doctor in a couple of hours time. I'm nervous and excited to have it all confirmed. About mum... it's so hard to explain. She really DOES mean to push my buttons. She actually said it's her right to talk to me however she wants because I'm HERS. Nice. Like I'm an object. I tried to post a massive rant about her here the other night but I lost the whole thing, so I took that as a sign. It's not worth mentioning, clearly. She's totally toxic, and I'm FINISHED with her. FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To deny her pg daughter food, and stress me out the way she did, F her. We had a huge fight before I left yesterday, and she actually got up out of her seat and stormed over to me as if she was going to hit me. I was so mad I got my things, and sat outside until it was time to go to the airport. I don't need someone like that in my life. So that's it for her. She's treated me like dirt my whole life, I'm cutting her out.

Sorry to go on and on like that. LOL.... I'm pretty riled up about the whole thing. Anyway, Don't feel bad for having a little episode. i cry too when I think about how old our baby would be now. Actually right now I could cry over anything... hehe. I say better out than in though, and even better if you can do it in privacy. I hope you're feeling better after a good cry, and keep us posted on DH's sperm analysis. FX it all comes back looking good. Best of luck, hun.

AFM, I walked in the door at almost 11pm last night.... and MAN it's good to be home! I forgot what it was like to have a clean house! DP was excited to see me, and patted my belly asking if 'everything is ok in there'. hehe.. cute. I also POAS this morning (cause I can, why not?!) and the test line came up so fast, I wondered where the control line was. It was also so much darker. I'm happy about that. DP said while I was away he kept looking at our two little lines every time he went into the bathroom. So sweet. Things are so different this time around. So far I haven't felt the fear I thought I would about mc again. I mean it's kind of there, but I think I'm ok for now.

Anyhoo, sorry about all the me-ness...... I really needed to debrief after my crazy trip back 'home'.

Take care ladies, and I hope you all don't mind me hanging around like this. Have a great weekend everyone!

morning all, damprye-hope af is staying away,i know you said you wouldn"t test again for a while but have you?..bons-sorry af came...possummagic-thinking of you...reet-how are you feeling today,i find the grief is always there,things trigger me of & it's hard but i think it makes us go through the grief,instead of trying to go around...forshelby-sorry things weren't nicer with your mum,glad your home...

Reet- I hope the spermies are looking better this time round, sometimes the smallest lifestyle changes can make the biggest difference.
:( It is hard knowing that bubby should be there yet there is nothing :(

ForShelby- It sounds like a good thing to get someone like that out of your life even though it was hard to do so. :(
Your DP sounds so sweet :D

Mattherw's Mum- Yeah my will power not to test was minimal to nil lol, I tested again this morning.

AFM- Well this mornings test I am pretty sure is neg, i keep seeing lines on everything atm :redface: I swear if I had a blank peice of paper in front of me right now I would see lines on that lol. My temps are not really telling me anything either atm, or maybe I'm just really bad at interpreting it or just don't want to :hide:

Good luck everyone else, I have been thinking of yas :)

Reet: The sadness comes and goes doesn't it? And sometimes it just comes up and wacks you when you don't expect it. Sending you virtual hugs.

Hearing about friends/cousins' babies is hard. My best friend's pg is a hard one because she's fallen pg almost immediately each time she's tried with no m/c and it feels so unfair that it is so easy for some and so hard for others. But also she shocked me bc last thing i knew her DH was against having a third child. I've told her everything going on with me and she never told me he had changed his mind. Next thing i knew she was 12wks pg! She's also never waited that long into a pg to tell me before (i knew much earlier with her other kids). But it's bc she found it hard to tell me bc she knows everything i've gone through the last year.

Damprye: lol at you seeing lines on blank pieces of paper! IKWYM. When you want it so badly you can just visualise it can't you?

Forshelby: congrats on looking after yourself. It's hard to do with 'toxic' parents but very important. Sometimes you just need that reminder don't you? Hope being home clears your head.

Kelbel: sorry you've had some difficult family news.

Bons: sorry AF arrived.

Mathewsmum: Brave woman, another round of BTs preparing for next attempt. Fingers crossed for you that July is your month.

Hello to anyone else i missed.

Possum - I'm so sorry it has to be this hard for you. I have such a mixed bag of emotions right now. I'm thankful and overjoyed that it was easy for me to fall pg, but at the same time so so sad for those of you who aren't as fortunate. To be honest, I actually feel slightly guilty. I know I shouldn't, but I do sometimes. This is just a suggestion, but would you take comfort in having a memory garden for your angel bub? I know it's just a garden, but sometimes small things can bring great comfort. Just a thought.
AFM, Feeling so much better after a lovely night in a hotel in Surfers. We went out for a lovely chinese dinner (my tummy decided what we were having, lol) and then just relaxed in the room. I was determined to DTD, but suddenly after dinner and a spa bath, we were both so tired... we changed our minds
Matthews mum - Good luck this month, you're so strong going through all this. It's all very inspiring. :) :clap:

. I said we'd DTD in the morning, but truthfully, I'm scared to. I don't want to see any spotting.. and I feel a bit of pressure and dull crampiness at times, so really don't want to do anything to cause any worry! The doctor yesterday was kind of..... strange. I haven't seen this one before, and when I asked if I should have an early scan due to my previous mc, he said 'nah. too early. We'll do one at 12 weeks to make sure it's not a Mongoloid". OMG :o who says that? I was kind of shocked, but I think he was just trying to be funny. However when you've already had a mc, you don't want to hear insensitive talk like that...... Still, trying not to take it to heart too much. Afterall, he's not a an obstetrician, he's just a regular GP. So I'm going for b/t's tomorrow, and have another appt next Saturday to see 'Mr Insensitive'. I think I'll be changing doctors if I continue to feel uncomfortable.

Anyway, that's enough me-ness... much more than I intended, also. Sorry girls!!!

ARGH how do I stop my ticker from showing? SO sorry.... mods! Help!! Going to learn how to do that right away.

Just a quick one....
Dampyre - I hope those lines are coming back!
Forshelby - Some mothers just cant get passed the fact that their babies grow up! hope you are calming down a bit xxx
Hugs to everyone else.....xxxx
AFM - Af has packed and is ready for departure.....YAY!!!! Going down the coast to visit my mum and DH's parents....feeling a bit weird at the prospect of DTD at the parentals house :o bring on the next 3 weeks hehe
xxxx

Bons - I couldn't have said it better. Although that still doesn't explain why she's treated us like something nasty she stepped in our whole lives. Enough about her though, I am so finished with her drama. I don't need it right now, and she won't be a good influence on my child, so that's that. LOL@ DTD at the parents house.... maybe you could try to imagine you're lusty teenagers breaking the rules? :D That made me smile. Go for it, girlie! Do your thang!

ForShelby- I'm glad things are going good for you right now :)

Bons- Yays for the red witch leaving ;)

Possum- How are you coping atm?

Hi everyone else :)

AFM- Is thinking I spend way too much time online lol it seems so quiet in here. I used another HPT and OPK and nothing, they were both FRER this time, no internet cheapies, I needed to know for sure. Well I guess I still wont know till AF turns up though lol. Speaking of her I am almost certain that she can't be far away now, getting lots of rather painfull cramping. I'm actually looking forwards till the end of this cycle cos then I will be able to look back over my chart and hopefully see a bit of a clearer picture, at least it will help for further cycles :) Feeling optimistic today, it's a nice change... maybe it's cos I get to see DP tonight :D

Hi girls,

Just did a catch up - we have been away camping over the weekend and the days coming up to going, I was busy trying to get things sorted etc

forshelby - sorry to hear about your mum and good on you for taking control and removing her from your life - you don't need that type of negativity in your life especially at this time

bons - yay on af about to leave, bring on the bd bonanza (hehehe especially at the parents)

damprye - sorry to hear that you got another BFN :hug:

matthew's mum - have you started triggers - sorry, I can't remember when you were starting??

possum - how are you going sweety, sending you some of these :hug: as well

hi to everyone else i have missed, can't go back any further

AFM: one week down of the TWW, one to go!!! well had a good weekend away camping besides DF's cousin who is coming up to the 20 week mark of her pregnancy - she whinges about everything etc and a few people asking if I was pregnant yet....off to have a nanna nap, feeling a lil tired!!

Damprye - I like your attitude. Knowledge is power! I hope your chart gives you some clear pointers. And it IS quiet in here....

Iona - I wondered where you got to! I have removed her, but haven't bothered to tell her that. What's the point when she's so wrapped up in her own little sad existance. I guess that's the beauty of living far far away. It's nice to have my freedom and independence back. Oh and I hate those 'are you pg yet' questions. I hope next time they ask you can say YES, SO SHUT UP! lol. And women who whinge about every little thing are irritating too. I'm relishing every little thing so far. Even the nausea. (lucky for me it comes and goes and is kind of vague) This morning I was doing a little happy dance (on the inside, lol) because my bbs are so sore. Sorer by the day, actually. DP laughed at me when I said I was happy about it. He can laugh all he wants!! Anyhoo, hope you had a lovely little trip away. I missed you.

AFM, looking forward to work tomorrow :o. I know, wtf. I'm sure they'll ruin my good mood within seconds. LOL.... tossing up whether or not to tell the boss tomorrow, as I have to go for blood tests, and don't think I can squeeze it into my 30 min break. I think I might have to. I don't want him to guess it on his own. *sigh*

aww shucks forshelby, I missed you too, felt lost without getting on here!! DP sounds like he is so excited about your lil bean, that is so sweet. (told u he would come round hehehe)

Oh as long as your boss doesn't go on and tell other people until you are ready. That reminds me of one of the things DP's cousin said to me on the weekend - oh next time your pregnant you shouldn't tell people till you get over the 3 month mark. My reply was well that was my plan as I didn't tell extended family until i was 12 weeks with DS and was only because everyone noticed I wasn't drinking!!! (she is a person that if it isn't about her, she will make it about her) maybe I saw her too much this weekend for her to get on my nerves lol

Iona - Sounds excruciating..... being in her presence must be really draining. I also love when people decide to give you really obvious advice. NOT. My SIL proceded to tell me if my m/s gets too bad, I should drink a lot of coke. Ummm.. ok.... and increase my risk of mc with all the caffeine? It amazes me my niece and nephew were born at all sometimes. She's so oblivious. :rolleyes: Glad we can bond over annoying people though, hehehe.

Dont you hate stupid people and stupid comments Grrrrr like relax and it will happen i could slap people who say that :rolleyes:

My SIL got rear ended yesterday and went into labour at 34 weeks but thankfully the contractions have eased off today. This lady could have killed them so another Grrrrr for stupid drivers!!!!!
and she was driving a Mercedes with no insurance :rolleyes:

afm Ive been feeling really flat don't feel pregnant at all so disappointed. took a cheapie internet test just now and it was neg. Hopefully still a bit early bought a first response and am going to try out and hold out till wed then i know for sure one way or the other. i think i know the way its going :-(

ill come back and catch up with everyone in the morning just not feeling up to it tonight

Good Morning Everyone!
How are you doing Possum?
Kellbell - Glad your SIL contractions have slowed....car accidents are scary enough without being pg and going into labour, :( I know the disappointment of just not feeling pg....everyone here does....chin up, a new cycle is a fresh start xxxx
Iona - Sorry but I hope the tiredness sticks around ;), I miss camping, havent done it for ages, DS has been bugging us to go, mostly i think so he can fish with DH :lol: hope the 1ww goes quickly xxx
Dampyre - If AF has to come, I hope she is speedy in leaving, and you are right, being able to look back over your chart will help for next month FX hun xxx
Matthewsmum - Are you feeling like a pincushion yet? I really hope your next transfer is soon, big belly rubs, xxx
forshelby - Get a new DR! he sounds like an insensitive ****!!!! So ecxited to hear about your sore bb's,enjoy slapping your DH's hands away :lol: i think after a mc, the unpleasant things of pg take on a whole new meaning! I cant wait to have morning sickness again, ( i never thought I would say that), at least when we have those symptoms, its a positive sign xxx
Alice and Dory - Thinking of you both xxxx
AFM - Not a lot happening with me....went for a nice long walk at manly over the weekend, I couldnt imagine my life without water, makes me feel calm, though that was lost when I got home and saw a status update about the woman who lives a few doors down having 2 and a half weeks to go, made me realise i wouldve been 38 weeks pg, DH is being really sweet about it, although I sometimes wonder if he notices every person with a newborn or the pg bellys like I do.
Hope you all have a great week, Bring on the BFP's !!!!!
xxxx

Bons its so hard when think about how far along you should be. i had a friend due about the exact time give or take a week and i just couldn't see her anymore and it wasn't her fault or anything when i hear how old her DD is now its still makes me stop and you think how old they would be and what they would be doing. I don't think the men notice such things well mine dosent seem too anyway. Big hugs for you :hug:

I think i need a more positive attitude i thinking this morning i have so much to be grateful for when you feel down you don't see the good things.
i just hope another baby can bless our lives one day.
hopefully AF will come on time and we can start afresh.
i have run out of cheapie ovulation tests and preg tests so going to go with the flow this month and not bother with either.

I have one first response tucked in the drawer for later in the week so still holding a glimmer of hope

Kellie - I hope your sister is ok! What a terrible thing to happen. I hate bad drivers, too. Hopefully the no insurance thing will be that lady's karma. And with any luck, it was just too early to get a BFP and you'll get it in the next couple of days. FX for you.

Bons - I've already given DP the evil eye for touching the bbs. Even gently. LOL I think I will give the doctor one more chance before I go somewhere else. I think he was just trying to be a bit funny, and I'm overly sensitive about these things. The thing that will really make me go elsewhere is if he denies me an early scan to put my mind at ease. He doesn't seem interested in reassuring me, which isn't really good enough. I'll ask again though and see what happens. Sorry to hear about the status update, these things are never easy to deal with. I had a friend at work who was 5weeks ahead of me, and I was secretly relieved when she moved away and left our workplace. She was a great friend, but I just couldn't handle seeing her every day. I've seen her a few times when she's been here visiting, and every time I see her little boy I think of how old my little one would be. He's a constant reminder for me, but it doesn't hurt as much anymore. I think there are a lot of us in here who would have a similar story. We all understand, hun.

AFM- Not much to report. Told the boss today and he asked me when I was going to make it public. I said I wasn't sure yet. It's a bit hard to keep it secret though when one of the ladies I work with keeps trying to loudly discuss it with me across the office... lol. Talking about blood tests and doctors etc, everyone is going to put it together before I have the pleasure of telling ANYONE! Ugh. Slightly annoying, but I'll deal with it. Blood tests went well as far as I know... I felt pretty dizzy and had spots before my eyes as soon as the blood started flowing. Yuck. She took 5 or 6 vials, so no wonder. Looking forward to hearing the results at my next appointment. I hope you all don't mind my updates........ let me know if it's time for me to move on.

I'll be back to edit and add in perssies later but quick update from me- AF seems to be making an appearance but am thinging it may be because of last night.... can electric shock in that general area do anything to a possible pregnancy or bring on AF?

Hi All!

Damprye- What happened last night?? Why were u electric shocked?? Yay for cycle day 1! Atleast shes coming right on time! Hopefully this next cycle is it! FX!

Forshelby- Yeah i reckon u shld get a new doctor.. but i guess give him 1 more chance and if he stuffs it dont go back to him! I will defintely be going for an early scan.. am going to try and wait til 7-8 weeks tho.. i know i wldnt be able to bare it being too early and being told that theres no heartbeat. Good luck with ur blood test.. are u getting another one in a couple days or just going to see this result first??

Kellbell- Im not feeling pg either :( :( its so frustrating. Do u think af will come right on time if shes going too??

Bons- It sux having those constant cld have, wld have and shld have reminders.. i get them a bit.. it makes me feel so sad. I have a friend too thats due a month before i was meant to be.. her status' always point out how many days left she has.. it always comes when ur least expecting it too.. just when u have stopped thinking or counting how far along u shld have been. Its great that ur dh is being so sweet about it.. i wish i cld say the same about mine. I dont actually think he wld realise when our angel bub is meant to be born. Males are so different to us.. they deal with things in the here and now.. we more live in the future i think.. well thats what i think anyway! My dh does actually notice pg girls and young families with babies etc tho.. it makes him sad which makes me try and be happy and positive.. cant handle him being sad!!
Good luck for ur bd bonanza which is coming up!!
Come on lets hope that this is our month!! FX FX FX FX FX FX FX

Iona- Oh i love camping.. u lucky ducky. Hope the rest of the 2ww goes quickly! Are u going to test early or wait til ur late??

Possum- How are u my darling?? Are u going to start trying straight away or leave it a little while?? xx

Hello to Matthews mum, Alice, Dory, Loops and anyone else i have forgotten.. sorry!! Hope ur all doing alright!

AFM- I am feeling no different whatsoever.. no pg feelings but no af feeling either. I O'ed on about day 17 i think so af will still be a few days away (FX she doesnt come!). I'm not testing.. im just gonna wait it out. I really dont know how many more months of this i can take.. its slowly killing me. I just have no idea what my whole world and mind used to revolve around when i wasnt ttc.. im obsessed!
Come on pls pls pls universe give us all what we want and deserve so much!