Erybery - Oh sweetie I can't begin to imagine how scared and terrible you must be feeling but please try not to give up hope yet. I your scan goes well tomorrow everything is ok and this is your forever baby. You are in my thoughts and prayers x
Sorry for lurking but am making the most of being able to sleep at the moment. I bought myself this amazing little pillow and i swear its been my lifeline!!!
Had 34 week midwife app this morning, all is perfect. She had a poke and prod around and bubs has moved to the head down position, but who knows that all could change again, but its starting to feel oh so real now.
Fingers crossed we can get the room finished this weekend then i can relax even more!
Sorry for no persies - I just cant keep up.
But welcome to the new ladies you who have joined us. I hope your stay is short and sweet.
erybery- Honey I am so sorry for you must be so scared right now. Just know that all of us are here for you. You and bub are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that the doctors are wrong and that this is your forever baby. Try not to give up hope just yet.
fificlaire- Glad to hear you and jelly bean are doing well!
Jen- How excited DS is returning to school. That must mean he is feeling better?
Please be so careful about your mental health through this time, Traumatic Shock is how most of us react.
Not that it would of helped for me but self doubt and blame isn't the path to take,
but it is so so hard to feel anything but that during this time.
We had a four day lead into the termination and Im sure I was in 100% shock for the next 5 days and on the 6th day when I began to realise and acknowledge what had happened the drop was so fast balck and scary I didn't think I would ghet out of it.
If the only advice I can give you is to find a pre-post natal loss specialist and get you doctor to set up a medicare mental health thing and get into to see them as soon as you can.
Nothing anyone did or said helped and Im sure you are in the same condition.
Feeling like re-producing is the most 'natural' thing a women can do and when you feel like your body hates you and fails you isn't something that just goes away.
2 weeks later I still feel like Im in a numb state but the difference in just a few days is so big, just so much more to go.
boble - Sorry I can't answer your question. I would've BD'ed anyway, just in case. I hope you caught that egg.
mannie - I've got all 5 seasons of Angel on DVD and have just finished watching them all. Hence the quote. I agree, he is a hunk :wink:.
sally - I know what you mean. My mum kept apologising for not knowing what to say and I would just tell her I didn't know what I wanted her to say anyway. But that first day is behind you now. It will get easier .
mrzbaby - You are welcome to stick around for as long as you like. Just remember you don't have to figure out everything right this minute. Be kind to yourself and give it some time .
Mel - Glad the FS appointment went well. I'm praying you get a BFP real soon.
erybery - I can't imagine how scared you are right now . Please don't google anymore, it'll only make the worry worse. Hydrops can be treated if they can figure out what caused it. I today's scan goes well and that your baby is fine. Will be thinking of you.
shortcake -
fifi - I'm so glad everything still ticking along nicely. Its certainly not long until you meet your forever baby.
jen - Glad DS is feeling well enough to go back to school. Does this mean no more sleeping on the couch?
AFM - Am having yet another bad day today. I started temping this month and I take the thermometer into the bathroom so that I could read it before taking a shower without waking DH. When I picked it up to take it back to the bedroom after my shower, it slipped and broke spilling mercury all over the floor. It took us 2 hours to clean it all up. Plus I was wearing a brand new pair of pants (in which I felt fabulous by the way) which now have to be thrown out.
So this plus the issues with my car last week have really got me spinning. My car still isn't running properly. I won't go into it now, but getting a car was actually a huge step for me. Its starting to seem like every step I take to try to get myself out of this funk causes me to take ten steps backwards. Maybe I need to rethink this whole TTC thing. I'm not fit to be a parent right now as I'm barely able to look after myself. Then I can feel free to take the medication I fear I need. But if I give up now, I'll have no reason not to crawl into a hole and stay there.
So sorry to be so negative. Again! I just have to get it out.
Welcome back Mannie & and Big Hello to Jen and everyone else ...
ATM: didn't like my Doc to much I'm thinking of calling my insurance co and getting a new one I got my throid tested and if they dont find anything wrong than I want every test for miscarriges done until they find out whats wrong I want so answers!!! I go back on the 25th and I got some med's for my panic attacks ...
I had an early misscarrage on Saturday and I'm a mess, up down, left right, hot cold and just plain tired. I'm so flat right now.
I know after only 1 ICSI and 1 FET I shouldn't have been holding my breath but I was. I got great news Last monday and couldn't believe our luck.
Then Saturday morning the spotts started and by Midnight Saturday holding my DP tightly in a hospital grievence room I knew our dream was gone if only for now.
This week I got a new job which has been a bit of a possitive distraction but I'm still sad.
I've been mega moody and feel like my hormones are screaming at me.
I'm already scared for my next FET (5 frosties to go)
I'm an action plan kind of girl and I'm just not sure how to action plan my way around this one.
Sorry I haven't been around have being feeling crappy because of this cold I can;t seem to get rid of and dd's sleeping at night has been erratic. I've popped in a couple of times to see how everyone is doing but have had no time for personals.
I won't try to catch up now, but spreading the love and lots of baby dust around. Hopefully March is a lucky month and there will be lots of Xmas bubbas!
Take care, I will try to pop back on the weekend. Am back at work tomorrow...
so the scan didnt really tell me much more or anything I wanted to hear. The ultrasound lady went and got the doctor who did some more scanning. here is definetly fluid on the bay and near its brain. She said its just to early to know what we are dealing with and to early to do more testing. so I just have to wait and see what happens. Its just ironic - the baby looked so perfect otherwise! it was moving around and waving its little arms and legs at us and its heart beat was good. It was even 1 day ahead of dates! I have to go to my ob in a wek for a scan to check the well being, then go back to the ultrasound doctor who will do another ultrasound and the nuchal test. We have to decide if we do the cvs, which is what they are recommending. I just don't understand, Im 25 and healthy low risk for everything, I wasnt even going to have the 12 weeks scan because Id already decided I didnt want to know the results because I was a low risk and wouldnt terminate and now I dont know what to think!
The doc said she has seen babies with this fluid and they turn out fine but she said in my case she doesnt want to give false hope because it will probably end badly.
so now just waiting... for the next scan... for a miscarriage.. for a baby with disabilities... I don't know what to think.
Erybery - Nothing can be understood in situations like ours. Nothing makes sense and nothing at all seems far.
Greenslw - There is hope, sometimes its harder to have it then others but don't loss it.
Eventually you will see a tiny glimmer of light and that will help you work through what you are experiencing, the ladies on this site are so supportive and knowledgable you are in the right place.
Hannah - thanks again for the pick me up. Im a teacher and spoke to the Principal today who actually was so kind, its so hard with our days to get to any appointments and I seem to have so many and she has said what ever I need they will make it happen.
MUCH better day then yesterday but still a little flatter then I thought I would be.
I feel like I should feel so positive with what I have achieved but it hasn't really happened yet.....
erybery - I'm sorry you did not get definite answers today but it certainly sounds like there is still hope. I know a few people who have been told there was something wrong with their babies due to a abnormality on the scan but they have all gone on to have healthy children. A lady at work was told her baby had spina bifida and they chose to go ahead with the pg and she had a perfectly healthy little baby girl. It probably doesn't help but I wanted you to know that sometimes Dr's can get it wrong and I really hope this is one of those times. Thinking of you sweetie
HannahD - Oh sweetie, sorry you are feeling so down Of course you are fit to be a parent and I am sure once you get your BFP a lot of these feelings will go away. I know there will still be anxiety (I think we will all suffer from that when the time comes) but there will also be hope and excitement. That's what you need to hold onto, it will happen. Don't get me wrong, having bad days and feeling depressed is still normal which is why this thread is great when we need to vent.
I am sorry your thermometer broke, I was a mean wife and used to turn the light on to record my temp I used to take it just before we both got up though. I have been thinking about starting it up again but DH doesn't want me to as I got so obsessed last time and he thinks we have a better chance if I am more relaxed (if there is such a thing?).
Must be the week for ruining good pants, my favourite work pants got scorched with the iron and are ruined as well
Not sure what else I can say, but please understand what you are feeling is completely normal emotions and does not mean you are not fit to be a parent at the moment. Big hugs to you.
Rhi - Hope you start to feel better soon!
Greenslw - I am so sorry for your loss . Everything you are feeling is completely normal and we have all been through it. It does get easier with time but you will still have bad days and good days (it takes time to get to the good days so be patient with yourself and let yourself grieve). The great thing about this thread is when I have my good days I can support all the lovely ladies here but when I am having a bad day I can vent and they will be here to support me. You could not have come to a better place for support. I am also an action girl and like to be in 'control' and have learnt this is something I have no control over. All I can suggest is to take one day at a time and only you will know when you are ready to try again. Best of luck
Toccara - Good for you for changing DR's if you are not happy. You need to have confidence in your DR and it is your body so you have a right to choose. I hope you get some answers soon so you can be one step closer to holding your forever baby.
Fifi - Not long to go now, very excited and happy for you!
Hi to Jen, boble, mrzbaby, shortcake, sally, mannie, megsmum, issy, indy, plc and everyone else I may have missed!
Mannie and Hannah - If you want to get more of an fix on the guy who plays Angel (David someone? - guess you girls would know ) then you should watch Bones. He plays an FBI agent in that show.
AFM - Still no signs either way. I know in my heart it is very unlikely so don't want to test and see that one line again! FS said not to test too often as I will drive myself mad - that happened a long time ago
hi everyone.. and thank you so much for the replies regarding my question... i wish we could just bd away and not think about when but dh and I have a slight... ahhh ... issue.. DH doesn't always get to the end result.. iykwim very embarrassing for the both of us.. so we basically have fun when it doesn't matter.. and we have to really focus on it when it does iykwim... so yeah... hopefully thinks will happen soon because it really takes its toll.. and although atm I am ok taking the easy, relaxed approach - i'm not 100% sure how much longer i will be willing to do it that way. Ok.. enough ranting from me... onto everyone else oh... crap.. i seem to have missed some posts.. I'll go back and read them and then do persies
Mel.. lol.. I know what you mean about going mad - yep.. thats just ttc... your fs should know that :P
erybery - i'm so sorry to hear you are going through such a bad time! I hope that everything turns out perfect for you. geez.. seems so unfair - it sounds like you deserve a bit of a break. my fingers are crossed for you xx
Rhi - hoping you are feeling better soon.
Sally - glad today was better then yesterday... and I hope tomorrow is better then today
greenslw - so so sorry to hear of your loss! thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs. Give yourself time to grieve this loss.. and know we are here for you.
oh, i have one more bit of news... you might remember i have booked in to see an obgyn/fs but couldn't get in until May. I asked for them to put me on a cancellation list. anyway, i got a call today and my appointment is now THIS coming Monday - i'm so excited and glad that maybe things will be happening soon... so, now to get all my info together to take along with me yay!
hi there to anyone i missed. I hope you are going well xx
[COLOR="Magenta" ]mrzbaby-I really hope things work out for you I wish you the best of luck with what you do decide I feel speechless I am sorry.
Well it's Thursday I can't wait until the weekend work seems to be too hard at the moment pregnant ppl everwhere still I guess I just notice more then I have my sister-inlaw driving my crazy telling me stories of ppl she knows and stories of there m/c's ,atleast you can fall pregnant blah blah blah (she tells me this every week) so yesturday I snapped and explained it took 2 1/2 years to fall pregnant and we were going to start IVF but I fell pregnant before my app lucky for me but I am scared I don't know when my AF will start again,If we will be able to fall pregnant again sometimes I wish ppl would keep their opinions to themselves it is the same in law that tole me not to travel to see family as i was having back pain at 8 weeks because I might m/c and 4 weeks after I did so I feel a little hostile about the whole thing sorry for the rant Just feeling sad and crappy.
Oh erybery - I was so sorry to hear your news sweeting - I cannot imagine how you are feeling but hope that you have some wonderful, strong people around you and some very sensitive caregivers. I can only pray that a second scan brings better news for you - there are few words or ideas that I can offer as comfort when you are facing something such as this.
To all the ladies whose bodies are playing 'spot the symptom' with them - may this coming month bring a greater harmony and co-operation between body and spirit for you.
And huge lashings of to this new thread and all our wonderful women in it.
Fificlaire - it was great to hear bub has decided to engage in a good position - it is amazing how much that eases the progress of the pg
AFM - here we are at 12 weeks and still a little odd in the head about it all (however it may just be that I haven't recognised that as my permanent state of being ...) - still got to do those 'official' announcements yet - my mum will kill me if she hears about anyone else knowing before she did or someone let's something drop before I do (got to love being 39 and quivering at the idea of matriarchal fury )
I hate the hormonal swinging depression side of it all. God I have so much empathy for you right now.
I hope your hubby see's how you're being affected, and not to be the devils advocate, but is this his way of dealing with it too?
I hope that you guys get through it. I understand not wanting to see him (if it were me I probably would have slapped mine int he face...but that's just me. Im a little dramatic)
AFM:
My chart is being *****. Yup.. Needed to be a swear word there...
It took away my ovulation date as my temps went quite low at 5dpo and I am frustrated and so upset. I think i might not ovulate this month?? Although im sure that i have ovulated... Um Im confused...
Ps...I have lost a Kilo since the m/c but im bloating like a friggin beach ball.. so not sexy..
How did you all feel about sex the first time after your m/c? For me I was a bit ambiguous about whether it was good or baaad. I wanted to cry but I wanted to forget what happened and pretend nothing happened. (Im talking about being pregnant here).
Hope you're all going well? Who else is in their first month after a m/c? I wuld be 9 weeks and 1 day today..I looked...stupid girl I am..and I feel worse than what i did before..
Hi Coco,
Id be 15 weeks, Terminated 2 weeks ago so in a similar boat to you...
It strange isn't it, the first time after losing the baby.
I needed the clossness but felt so sad at the same time.
Strangely maybe a more important moment for my husband but needed all the same.
I can't begin to imagine how scared and terrible you must be feeling but please try not to give up hope yet. I
your scan goes well tomorrow everything is ok and this is your forever baby. You are in my thoughts and prayers x
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I'm so glad everything still ticking along nicely. Its certainly not long until you meet your forever baby.
!!! I go back on the 25th and I got some med's for my panic attacks ...
New and looking for some hope
I used to take it just before we both got up though. I have been thinking about starting it up again but DH doesn't want me to as I got so obsessed last time and he thinks we have a better chance if I am more relaxed (if there is such a thing?).
) then you should watch Bones. He plays an FBI agent in that show.
oh... crap.. i seem to have missed some posts.. I'll go back and read them and then do persies
Um Im confused...
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