Jen: Thank you for your comforting words I'm still hurting both physically and emotionally. I'm still "bleeding" and it sucks.. I thought that a D&C removed everything so why am I still spotting?... I did something I shouldn't have yesterday I cleaned this darn place and now I have this pinching pain on and off in my uterus. I dunno if I probably shouldn't have cleaned. SUCKS. every ache I feel reminds me that there is no baby there anymore. SUCKS! I was suppossed to see the doc. tomorrow but he left abroad and will see me next week. He told me its normal to spot still and he said if the pain gets severe to go to ER.. he said there is not much he can do now , he told me if things get too painful to take over the counter pain killers. which I am and it works. But it all just SUCKS!
I just want Nov. to come. hubby and I want to both give this another try with a doc to walk us through.. only like that I know we can make it!!
Among all this sorrow and pain.. something inside me.. I don't know.. its like I'm in complete darkness and I can see a ray of light.. leading me to this dream. I have HOPE.
Toccara: I feel the same way you do. It has been 5 days with an empty womb. everything I stumble upon reminds me of this baby... I bought so many books.. accidentally bumped into all of them yesterday and I just sobbed!! Got a call from my cousin saying she had an abortion the same week I lost my bub and I was so angry at her I screamed at her!!!
I know many women chose to do that.. but I told her HOW DARE SHE THROW LIFE AWAY!!!
she is very chirpy about it now.. I know many girls regret it after she is HAPPY!!!!
She said to me "shut up you infertile nutcase if I got pregnant again I would do it all over again"..... OUCH! that hurt. I mean I probably hurt her too by yelling at her.. but her attitude towards that infuriates me..
I'm not talking to her EVER!
I have been crying straight since 9-11.. every day I cry.. and I thought that as the days go by it should get better.. it hasn't.
On a happier note... I just want Nov to get here... I want to see that doctor and see what he has planned out for me. I'm going to TTC again then. Just want time to fly. Maybe we both still have a shot to have a 2009 baby... but that's not what's important... what's important is the we both carry a full term, healthy, ♥LIVE♥ baby. All I care is for that.
a HUGE, WARM, SQUEEZING going your way. I wish we were closer.. we could cry for hours together.
I that both of our journeys end in a happy way this time around. I have faith we both will hold our beautiful babies soon. **edited to say*** OMG Toccara:.. So I make these angel graphics and stuff.. did you get any u/s before you m/c ed??.. or do you have a pic of your bump and or the BFP???... Send them to my e-mail with the date your angel grew wings ( if you want )and I will make you some cute angel graphics.. I do digital scrapbooking and I can sure make you something cute to remember your angel by. oh and if you do want it.. Ion top I want to tile it : Baby ________ ( your last name) example : Baby Majcher
(if you want) my e-mail is makunga21@hotmail.com
(((hugs)))) Me:
Here is a thing I made with all my angel babies... just dug out the only pics I took of my bump in those other Angel pregnancies and I made this...
So here they are.. Montan Babies
Tam--Glad to hear your u/s went well, and that you have some time to TTC naturally without needing IVF! Hope the Clomid helps in shortening your cycle! Your poor DH must feel so anxious about his results! Good luck with Fri's results!
Ruthie--Glad to hear you've got that faint ray of hope! I it gets brighter everyday! Love the photos you did--what a great way to show remembrance for your little angel babies! Aww... and that poem made me
Well, my temp took a drop this am.... only 12DPO, but thinking I'm probably out for this month--- again.... Grrr!
Jen:
Thank you dear friend. I have faith that I still might have a shot to have a 2009 baby. I know that April 2nd,2009 will be a painful day for me ( it was my due date) but maybe by then God has mercy on me and I hope I am pregnant with a happy healthy child on that day to help me cope.. otherwise it would be completely devastating to still have an empty womb by then.
Angel--:goodluck2: with Friday's scan! Feeling anxious much? Saying lot's of that all goes well with the scan! I've got everything crossed that they find lots of nice eggies! Then onto introduction right? Will they do that right after the scan depending on how it goes, or is that another appt? Sending lots of positive, stickyvibes!!
Krystie--It's awfully quiet without you and Angel around! Hope you're not working yourself too hard--gotta take care of that little you've got growing in there!! Big and
HEY KIDS!!
Sorry it's been so darn long, but my hyperemesis kicked in and I have been pretty much bed ridden until the past couple of days. Fun fun! I'm on the steroids now (thankfully) and cannot stop eating. At least I lost a little bit of weight while I was so sick. My belly looks like I'm about 4mths, so we haven't been able to keep it quiet (plus trying to explain away weeks and weeks of illness is pretty hard). I've always been bad at secrets anyways.
Have been scanning through to find the cycle list but alas, nothing. Any BFP updates?? My brain is jelly (is it too early for that to happen - mumnesia??).
BIG BIG hugs for all of you, sorry for the quickness and me-ness, but typing is a struggle (read: makes me feel sick).
Last edited by tutmae; September 18th, 2008 at 12:35 AM.
Ruthie I got rid of all my pic's after I m/c'ed because I was so upset but thanks anyway I can't see your pic's right now tho because I'm using my cell phone I find thinking about my DH and finding other stuff to look forward to helps me keep my mind on other things and is helping me not to cry so much. I hate when I hear women have had abortion if you don't want a baby why take the steps to make one I wouldn't talk to her anymore either because what she said was taking it a little to far ... I am not happy about going back to work this weekend tho I have see so many baby bumps but will find a way to get thur I am looking for a desk job right now so when I get pg again I won't have to be on my feet for 8 hours plus I worry my job may be playing apart in my m/c's anyway big and thanks for thinking about me when you are going thur the same thing
Jen don't give up just yet I want you get a BFP so bad because you so deserve it hun because you have such a good heart ...
I'm still hurting both physically and emotionally. I'm still "bleeding" and it sucks.. I thought that a D&C removed everything so why am I still spotting?... I did something I shouldn't have yesterday I cleaned this darn place and now I have this pinching pain on and off in my uterus. I dunno if I probably shouldn't have cleaned. SUCKS. every ache I feel reminds me that there is no baby there anymore. SUCKS!
I was suppossed to see the doc. tomorrow but he left abroad and will see me next week. He told me its normal to spot still and he said if the pain gets severe to go to ER.. he said there is not much he can do now , he told me if things get too painful to take over the counter pain killers. which I am and it works. But it all just SUCKS!
that both of our journeys end in a happy way this time around. I have faith we both will hold our beautiful babies soon.
Hope the Clomid helps in shortening your cycle! Your poor DH must feel so anxious about his 
results! Good luck with Fri's results! 
you've got growing in there!! Big 
Woo Hoo!! Sure have missed you--glad to hear you're feeling better! 
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