Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ September 08 #2

Hi Jen I didn't even notice my avatar yeah she does look pretty hot. I have been waiting for it to come. I know what you mean about getting excited about testing. I am trying not to get my hopes up this month but ohhhh boy do I hope we get out BFP.

Well my f/s appointment went well I guess. The u/s results were good my uterus is now normal after the operation which is great news. The doc was pretty happy about that. However my ovaries have cysts on them and have been diagnosed with polycystic ovaries but not polycyctic ovary syndrome. The doc said this shouldn't be a problem as I dont have the syndrome. He has given me clomid for my next cycle to shorten my cycle from 37 days to a normal 28 day cycle. So that was a bit of a shock I thought that was going to be the end of the testing for me. He has also given me a blood test to do on the 25th day of my cycle to test my LH levels and progesterone levels.

The FS said he doesn't think we are going to need IVF at this stage he wants us to try on our own again for approx 6 months.

As for DH you wouldn't believe it but his results are not in yet. So we have to contact the fs on fri and get the results so poor DH was extremely disappointed.

Kristy:hello: Love your avatar. Glad to see you and Chyan are doing great. Your welcome here anytime.

Mannie Thanks for the good luck wishes. Did you get a chance to have a look at the ov watch?

Tocarra Glad to see you are going to TTC again. I hope you find a great FS that can help figure out what is happening.

Dellydoo :goodluck2: with your counseling appointment tomorrow I hope they can assist you and make you feel better :hug:

Jen: Thank you for your comforting words :hug: I'm still hurting both physically and emotionally. I'm still "bleeding" and it sucks.. I thought that a D&C removed everything so why am I still spotting?... I did something I shouldn't have yesterday I cleaned this darn place and now I have this pinching pain on and off in my uterus. I dunno if I probably shouldn't have cleaned. SUCKS. every ache I feel reminds me that there is no baby there anymore. SUCKS!:( I was suppossed to see the doc. tomorrow but he left abroad and will see me next week. He told me its normal to spot still and he said if the pain gets severe to go to ER.. he said there is not much he can do now , he told me if things get too painful to take over the counter pain killers. which I am and it works. But it all just SUCKS!
I just want Nov. to come. hubby and I want to both give this another try with a doc to walk us through.. only like that I know we can make it!!
Among all this sorrow and pain.. something inside me.. I don't know.. its like I'm in complete darkness and I can see a ray of light.. leading me to this dream. I have HOPE.

Toccara: I feel the same way you do. It has been 5 days with an empty womb. everything I stumble upon reminds me of this baby... I bought so many books.. accidentally bumped into all of them yesterday and I just sobbed!! Got a call from my cousin saying she had an abortion the same week I lost my bub and I was so angry at her I screamed at her!!!:angry:
I know many women chose to do that.. but I told her HOW DARE SHE THROW LIFE AWAY!!!
she is very chirpy about it now.. I know many girls regret it after she is HAPPY!!!!:angry:
She said to me "shut up you infertile nutcase if I got pregnant again I would do it all over again"..... OUCH!:( that hurt. I mean I probably hurt her too by yelling at her.. but her attitude towards that infuriates me..
I'm not talking to her EVER!

I have been crying straight since 9-11.. every day I cry.. and I thought that as the days go by it should get better.. it hasn't.

On a happier note... I just want Nov to get here... I want to see that doctor and see what he has planned out for me. I'm going to TTC again then. Just want time to fly. Maybe we both still have a shot to have a 2009 baby... but that's not what's important... what's important is the we both carry a full term, healthy, ♥LIVE♥ baby. All I care is for that.
a HUGE, WARM, SQUEEZING :hug: going your way. I wish we were closer.. we could cry for hours together.

I :pray: that both of our journeys end in a happy way this time around. I have faith we both will hold our beautiful babies soon.:hug:
**edited to say*** OMG Toccara:.. So I make these angel graphics and stuff.. did you get any u/s before you m/c ed??.. or do you have a pic of your bump and or the BFP???... Send them to my e-mail with the date your angel grew wings ( if you want )and I will make you some cute angel graphics.. I do digital scrapbooking and I can sure make you something cute to remember your angel by. oh and if you do want it.. Ion top I want to tile it : Baby ________ ( your last name) example : Baby Majcher
(if you want) my e-mail is makunga21@hotmail.com
(((hugs))))
Me:
Here is a thing I made with all my angel babies... just dug out the only pics I took of my bump in those other Angel pregnancies and I made this...
So here they are.. Montan Babies

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/f...O1aQtjLeBk.jpg

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/f...55N8AmvfrY.jpg

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/f...DULua8ojCe.jpg

and here is a poem I found with my 2nd m/c.. I thought I was never needing it again.. but unfortunately it comforts me now too.

Jesus are my babies with you?
I wonder every day
I sit and wonder why they're gone
And why they could not stay

Every part of me is empty
I fell I can't go on
But then I look to heaven
I hear this beautiful song

Mommy I am with him
He holds me in his arms
When every I am with him
he keeps me safe and warm

He says you shouldn't worry
I am safe and loved right here
With all the other baby angels
that passed within the years

We have a special place up here
He thought that you should know
Where the Blessed Mother takes
your place for now until you show

When I hear this precious little voice
From the heavens above
I know that all the angels
are showering him with love

For everyone that wants to hear
their babies voice so innocent and sweet
Just close your eyes and begin to pray
and embrace them in your sleep.


(c) Angela Gibson All Rights Reserved

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/f...gBabyClose.jpg

Wow, this place is really quiet.....



Tam--Glad to hear your u/s went well, and that you have some time to TTC naturally without needing IVF! :dance: Hope the Clomid helps in shortening your cycle! Your poor DH must feel so anxious about his :sperm: results! Good luck with Fri's results! :hug:



Ruthie--Glad to hear you've got that faint ray of hope! I :pray: it gets brighter everyday! :hug: Love the photos you did--what a great way to show remembrance for your little angel babies! Aww... and that poem made me :crying:



Well, my temp took a drop this am.... only 12DPO, but thinking I'm probably out for this month--- again.... Grrr!

Jen:
:hug:
Thank you dear friend. :hug:I have faith that I still might have a shot to have a 2009 baby. I know that April 2nd,2009 will be a painful day for me ( it was my due date) but maybe by then God has mercy on me and I hope I am pregnant with a happy healthy child on that day to help me cope.. otherwise it would be completely devastating to still have an empty womb by then. :(

Angel--:goodluck2: with Friday's scan! Feeling anxious much? Saying lot's of :pray: that all goes well with the scan! I've got everything crossed that they find lots of nice eggies! Then onto introduction right? Will they do that right after the scan depending on how it goes, or is that another appt? Sending lots of positive, stickyvibes!! :pink-babydust: :bluedust:



Krystie--It's awfully quiet without you and Angel around! :( Hope you're not working yourself too hard--gotta take care of that little :babygirl: you've got growing in there!! Big :hug: and :stickyvibesgirl:

HEY KIDS!!
Sorry it's been so darn long, but my hyperemesis kicked in and I have been pretty much bed ridden until the past couple of days. Fun fun! I'm on the steroids now (thankfully) and cannot stop eating. At least I lost a little bit of weight while I was so sick. My belly looks like I'm about 4mths, so we haven't been able to keep it quiet (plus trying to explain away weeks and weeks of illness is pretty hard). I've always been bad at secrets anyways.

Have been scanning through to find the cycle list but alas, nothing. Any BFP updates?? My brain is jelly (is it too early for that to happen - mumnesia??).

BIG BIG hugs for all of you, sorry for the quickness and me-ness, but typing is a struggle (read: makes me feel sick).:pink-babydust::bluedust::stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgir l:

Hey stranger! :hug: Welcome back to the land of the living!! You missed out on Krystie's :bfp: Woo Hoo!! Sure have missed you--glad to hear you're feeling better! :bellyrubs:

Ruthie I got rid of all my pic's after I m/c'ed because I was so upset but thanks anyway I can't see your pic's right now tho because I'm using my cell phone I find thinking about my DH and finding other stuff to look forward to helps me keep my mind on other things and is helping me not to cry so much. I hate when I hear women have had abortion if you don't want a baby why take the steps to make one I wouldn't talk to her anymore either because what she said was taking it a little to far ... I am not happy about going back to work this weekend tho I have see so many baby bumps but will find a way to get thur I am looking for a desk job right now so when I get pg again I won't have to be on my feet for 8 hours plus I worry my job may be playing apart in my m/c's anyway big :hug: and thanks for thinking about me when you are going thur the same thing :hug:

Jen don't give up just yet I want you get a BFP so bad because you so deserve it hun because you have such a good heart ...

Tutmae: WOW Welcome back stranger! Missed ya here!!!!:hug:
Good luck with that beautiful bun you have inside you!!! Wishing you H&H pregnancy and baby!

Jen: :hug: thank you for being there for me!

Toccara: Good for you as to looking for a desk job it will certainly help when you get preggo again ( SOON you'll see). I am thinking pregnancy already... As soon as Sept is over and Oct kicks in I'm getting ready to try again.
I'm sick of moping around.. it's just not me. I'm not going to let this take away who I am. I am going to fight.. with all my might.. I am happy for all my friends who are pregnant and had their babies.. not it's my turn. I know I can do it! So can you!!!

Good luck sweet friend and know I'm here for you always.:hug:

Ruthie I'm so happy you are fighting your way back to feeling normal and you are ready to ttc again I'm not going to try that soon tho I'm going to wait until dec or jan ...

Ruthie-Those are beautiful pictures and keep sake memory holders. :hug; You did wonderful job making those. It's so hard to know when you will feel better, For the longest time I kept asking when will thsi stoop it took 1 month and now and awhile I Still think of the little one I lost but I have stopped crying everyday. I will always remember my baby, and when the days that I Think of him/or her I do cry. But, it took me 1 month.


Tut-Hey stranger:hug: Sorry you have been so sick! I can't belive your 10 weeks arlready OMG!!! Wow time goes by fast...

ATM-I'm waiting for my Blood work results still. And, I have an apt schedualed for my other beta draw for tomarrow. I'm cramping pretty bad. My ( o ) ( o ) Are huge!!!. I'm very nausiated in the mornings too... I still feel like I'm out this month because of the cramping. But with the other symptoms it sounds promising..

Well, I got my BT back and progesterone at 19.4, But get this I still have positive HPTS at home. And, my BT came back with 0 HCG hormon in my system. And even if my shot was causing the HPTS to do that my Blood would still have HCG in it as well.. !!!! I think my Lab had a F up with the results... :-(. I'm going to call back monday and have a HCG drawl again on Tueday..If I keep getting positives...

Just a quick note.....

Jen Jen..... missin you heaps and looking forward to giving you good news tomorrow night at chat time. As for next step... depends on the scan. If he likes the eggs, which i m sure he will, then he will give me a needle to "take" 36 hours before an opp which is the Egg Pick Up. When that happens then DH s floaters are injected into eggie..... and then we take it from there depending on whether any floaters wake up or if they keep floating.

Krystie.....Love Love Love the Avatar..... Just Love it..... Also LOVE seeing those HCG levels risin... Just Lovin it.

Birthday Buddy... Lovin your updated Avatar as well........ getting close to counting the days until Dinner.

Ohhh and Nickster..... missin you heaps hun...soooo glad bub a dubs being good to mum..... and I would like to remind you... that while I was there for you... YOU were there for me at my worst point.... so one hell of a hug for you.

One hell of a hug for alll 4 of you.

Hugs :grouphug:

Also, I was 7DPO when I had the BT done and 8 days past the shot. So today I'm 8DPO and 9 days past the shot my HPT went negitive on the 5 day after the shot, But now is getting darker each day. I heard that it takes longer for HCG to leave your urine. But there should be now way that my HPTS should be getting darker each day. I was told to come back in next week..My cramps are killing me which I can't tell if its AF cramps or pregnant cramps, I just remembered that I do get cramps while pregnant. I went through my pregnancy books. But, I'm confuesed because the BT but since my Cervix and HPTs are telling me diffrant I Dont know what to think.

Hi Everyone

AWOL again. DH has been unwell so I have been playing "nurse".

Jen - :goodluck: sending as many positive vibes to you for a BFP this month!!

Angelbabies - I really hope your scan goes well and you have awesome eggies. I am following in your footsteps - start Lucrin injections tomorrow. We are doing PGD. It is our first time doing IVF so I am very green about it all. Good luck :) BTW the poems you posted last week were beautiful

To sweet Ruthie, Jenushka, Tocarra, Babyfever, Tam83 - I hope the days are getting easier for you all. I have been thinking of you :grouphug:

Tutmae - hey, sista. Sorry about the :rolleyes: MS. Glad your pregnancy is moving along nicely

Hi KrystieLove and Joey and AJC and PLC. Take care and take it easy :)

:hello: to Megsmum, Mollycat and everyone else.

Just did not want you to think I have dropped off the face of the earth ;)

Hi Ladies,

WTH - So good to see a familiar face in here...how are ya hun? :hug:
Hi Jen - you're such a sweetheart...I missed you too :hug:
Ruthie - Im so very sorry for your loss darling, my thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. I know its very hard to deal with the thought of other women choosing to have an abortion, but you have to remember that whilst it may something that horrifies you, it is an individual choice and it is a womens right to choose that. Women fought very hard and for many years for the right to make those decisions, many years ago women were not given the right to make that choice for themselves and it led to many unwanted pregnancies and even death for the women. We can only be the judge of our own decisions.

Well, im days over af's due date!!!! Where is she???? Im going to POAS tomorrow, just for piece of mind, although im sure im not pg !!!! But....the question remains.......????

Issy

ISSY - helllloooooo :hug: I'm doing ok. In the early days of our first IVF cycle and have become and accupuncture junkee. May I be the first to wish you :crossfingers: goodluck when you POAS!

Where There s Hope.....Hun if you have ANY questions regarding IVF ....PLEASE ask, either in here or PM me. The scariest part of IVF is the not knowing.... so please... if i can help... just let me know :hug:

PS.... watch out for the emotional rollercoaster.... take tissues everywhere... and learn how to count to 10 to control your temper ;)