TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ Dec 07/Jan 08

Congrats on AF..... I NEVER thought I would ever be in the position where I was sitting here.... probably a few weeks away from AF..... thinking about it and wishing she would come sooner. Life has just gone nuts. As with you I m waiting on post miscarriage AF. I have absolutley no idea when she will be here but I cant wait. wait.... wait.....wait.... wait..... Probably the most common word with IVF or TTC........ WAIT...... :lol:

Just to give me some idea.... you give me some ideas please ladies how long each of you waited for your post M/C AF

Angel Babies- as you know I just got my first af yesterday, it's been 23 days since m/c, but apparently might not ovulate properly for a few more cycles, but other ladies take weeks, or even months to get af. I understand your Doctor can 'kick start' your cycle with medication (one called 'Provera') if you want to really get going. I hope this helps.

Laura- how did you go with your tests today? Hope you're not feeling too much like a pin cushion

xx

Hi Everyone. Well I think I may have AFed last week, but due to my cycle being all over the place it is impossible to be absolutely certain. So fingers crossed all is returning to some resemblance of a normal cycle. It is 6 weeks since the D&C - so I think I have done enough of the waiting game (as well as spot bleeding etc - aagh). My Ob said that if 2-3 months after the D&C I was still having spotting and no regular cycle I could have an ultrasound, but he did not mention any other options. He also reminded me that AF does not guarantee ovulation. So I have decided - end of Jan (with the clearance from my naturopath) we will start TTCing again.

Wishing you the best of luck Katiegirl x

i rang the hospital and told them how fast i needed a app, i said that i will be 41 next week and at this rate even is i do fall preg in the next 6 months i will be 42 when it is born, and that is alon as i dont have ashermans back, tick tock i wanted to have 2 children with my DH dont know if that will happed and she said she would try to get me in asap fingers crossed.sorry for going on , i just need my first AF after my D&C to be over , 12 weeks is to long to wait at my age.

HI everyone

I didn't end up needing to get any tests so that was alright.
Doctor recommended waiting about 3 mths before trying again. Which is about the timeframe I was thinking anyways.
Looks like we will be moving in the next week, so plenty to keep me occupied between now and then.

When I get back to Melbourne I am going to go to my usual gp and get her to run some tests on me make sure I am all good to start TTC in 3 mths.
Having only just had m/c I am not expecting to get af for another few weeks anyways so it seems like everything is fitting in nicely at the moment.
Except for the fact that I hate moving!!


Good Luck Betty, I hope they get you in asap!!
..Laura

now i need cake , i have just done a hair cut on a young girl who is 35 weeks preg and is 18 , she only went out with thee babys father for 2 months, i dont meen to offend young people , i so much want a baby in my arms

grrrr, does stir you up doesn't it, at that age you just don't appreciate anything as much as when you tick a few more years off the calendar.
Luckily, I always have a good supply of cake and am always willing to share, as long as I get the bigger piece because, quite frankly, I am greedy :)

..Laura

anthonysmom: LOL!

Leigh26: I'm so sorry for your losses. I"ll keep you in my prayers and sending a big cyberhug

AJC: did you find the maybe baby accurate and in line with temps and cm? I've considered buying one in the past because we chart when we want to TTA, also and wondering if that could be one more tool in our arsenal, LOL! Of course, non of this will be an issue until we actually have another baby, but I'm always looking toward the future...

Angel Babies: never more than a month between end of MC bleed and AF. But we're talking weird cycles with weird temp patterns ie not ovulatory.

Katiegirl: good luck!

bettyboop: pulling for you (as always)

ll80: try not to get too stressed with the move (easier said than done, I know). You want to make yourself good and healthy for next TTC!

BBoop - I'm hearing you. It feels like a slap in the face everytime I see a pregnant woman or hear of someone I know who was "on the pill" and fell pregnant. I know what you mean - you don't regrude them having happiness but it just feels so bad inside for you. Hope you get that appointment soon - I don't think they realise that days feel like weeks.

TempusM - hmmmm. Maybe baby didn't work that well for me, it might work better for you. According to the instructions you are supposed to get a full ferning pattern for around 2 days prior to ovulation. I tend to get ferning for longer than that so it's hard for me to pinpoint it to those crucial days. I hardly use mine now, I ocasionally use it for something to do and to feel like I'm getting my money's worth.

Angel babies: Took af 6 weeks to arrive after first d&c and 4 weeks after 2nd d&c. I think anything up to 8 weeks is considered 'normal' - but I don't like to use the word normal when talking about anything to do with ttc because anything is possible.

ll80 - sounds like you have everything planned nicely. DH and I are so glad we had a break this time. We both feel so much better about things now and it certainly bought the romance back in the bedroom that's for sure;) Good luck with the moving and don't forget to take time out to spoil yourself so you'll be all relaxed when you ttc again.

KGirl - good luck hope everything works out for ttc at end of Jan. Do you temp? I think temping is the best way to tell if you O or not.

Angel babies, it took me 12 weeks to get AF after I had my D & C.

TempusM: I've got Maybe Baby and don't rely on it because it always gives me mixed results. I still use it though but also chart my temps and use OPK's.

Im on CD9 and usually ovulate on either CD 13, 14 or 15 so not long to go now until I do. DH will be away from Saturday until next Wednesday so tomorrow night is the 1 and only shot we'll have because he's working tonight as well. Fingers crossed his swimmers will be strong and make it to my egg.

I so know what your talking about when you look at your age and goooo.....Hey best hurry up here.... times a tickin. The day I went in and saw what was my first FS he said some magic words to me. Once we do an egg pick up they stay 38. SO I went full steam ahead. Never had anything to do with IVF before, I m in there having all my endo removed, went in to have my polyps removed (other end sorry) then started straight way. Within 4 weeks I have had 2 operations and I m ready to gooo.... Why... cause my eggs get to stay 38. Dont worry about me I m hardly walking cause of the speed its all traveling but i m there raring to go..... I do the cycle and wham.....BFP first go around.... there I am still hardly walk but doing cartwheels..... The whole time DH was there saying hey I think your rushing this a bit why dont we wait a tad so you have time to get over each operation. I m like......NOPE my eggs are going to stay 38...... Unfortunately out of 9 eggs only 2 fertilized and were viable for ICIS. Then of course I lost my angels and here I am thinking ok.... well my damn eggs will just have to be 39. If I wasnt so pushed for time I would have allowed my body to settle a bit. So the later years..... God sounds like I m talking about 60 and 70s.... wow.... Nope... the later years adds extra to the mix and adds to the journey.

As for the 18 year old..... dont be to cranky with her. I was 18 and pregnant. I was on the pill and got pregnant anyway. And she still has to find the love of her life so its her that is loosing. If you can see what I mean. Think of if she was your daughter. She is 18 and the Baby s father is gone. She s pushing chit up hill now. Regardless of all of that..... I m sending you some cyber cake anyway.

Thanks for sending me luck.

AJC - I have used natural family planning in the past (to avoid) so am very aware of my cycle, so that is covered. My naturopath now has me taking my temps but it means nothing to me at present. I see her again last week of Jan so hopefully she will explain it all. At the moment my temp is rising and falling each day within a 4-5 point range.

I think I am ovulating - started yesterday - and I am really tempted to TTC...I did tell the naturopath i would wait until the end of month - plus she has me on lots of herbs etc. Do you think being on these herbs could be a problem for TTCing? The main concern is Chaste Tree - it is in the herbal tonic. Does anyone know?

Well I did it. I have found one reason after the other why I was to busy or whatever but today I did it. I actually went to the gym. I have been the absolute queen of procrastination with that one.

I was here thinking.... there is not really anything I can do until AF arrives. Then..... as if a voice out of the blue....... yes there is.... you can start getting healthy. :(

So I actually did. I put my old Gym clothes on, which disturbed me greatly...... because they fit. My 18 year old son couldnt work out why I was disturbed by that. I then told him it meant that my "bubby tummy" was gone and now i m just left with my normal "chubby tummy' :cry: So off I went into the Gym. Found the most a treadmill and walked and walked and walked. Hubby and both my boys were at the gym with me they seemed to one by one end up on the tread mill next to me, probably more so to just keep an eye on me. But for 45 minutes I walked. 3.41km. I would love to say that I worked of heaps of calories but hey I didnt. But it was a start.

So once again.... 1 day at a time. Today it was the gym and 45minutes of walking... who tomorrow may be 45 minute s of walking and a round of weights. By the time AF arrives I could be back in the swing of things and a bit of a gym junkie....... hmmmmm cant quite see that happening.

Angel Babies- well done. I know it's hard to pick yourself up and get on with something that you should'nt do when pg, because it means acknowledging that we aren't..anymore. I suddenly decided to get toned up recently and bought myself 2 keep fit DVD's and have been prancing around at home, much to my family's amusement. I couldn't face going to a gym- far too many beautiful people!
Now I can exercise and have a cup of tea and peanut butter on toast all at the same time!! Result!! lol
I also had my hair revamped- (cut much shorter, styled and highlighted REALLY blonde) it's made me feel better about myself, especially going back to work as my colleagues compliment me on my new look which distracts from any awkwardness (mostly)!
One woman blatantly avoided me today- adn i think she must be pregnant as I'm sure she had a bump. We normally get on really well, I do hope it won't create any difficulties- i'm not sure how I feel about other pregnant woman around me yet. Poor BettyBoop, I feel for you... and dread coping with those raw emotions x

You are as bad as I am. You prance to your DVD with Peanut Butter and Toast. I decide I m hungry before going to the Gym and hubby and I go in for McDonalds.

Hmmmmmm me thinkin this might not work doing it this way.... :cryinglaugh:

As for the woman at work..... I think for some of the people we work with its very uncomfortable for them. Mind you I wasnt really looking at it from their point of view a week ago when I first went back, but now I can see that it would be difficult for them.

Many years ago I was pregnant with my son, who is now 16. My closest friend was also pregnant. Now this friend had tried for years to have a baby. It was an issue with her husbands swimmers. After tests it turned out that it could be fixed but he wasnt prepared to do it..... no idea what it was she never went into to much detail. Anyway it got to her to the degree that it cost them their marriage. A couple of years later there we were..... Her and I both pregnant. At 30 weeks.... I was about 12 weeks myself..... at 30 weeks she was told that her babies lungs and vital organs had stopped growning (this is using up some memory brain cells to recall the details) She was then given the option of delivering then or going the full term. She decided to go the full term.

I obviously could not understand to her degree what she was going through. I do know at the time I was incrediably uncomfortable not knowing what to do or how to act. Now to some degree the shoes are on my feet now and I cant expect other people to know how to react to what has happened. Maybe I should be showing the way for them.

WOW thats very profound of me for 5am. But I suppose it s true. Isnt it amaizing how sometimes you can just be sitting there and have a moment of realization.

Now with that I m off to bed... the alarm goes off in 2 hours for work.

:bedtime:

Hi, I've been TTC for about 10 years, I finally fell pg in Oct, but m/c in nov 07 at 8w. af arrived 4 weeks after m/c, then again 4 weeks later (it's as if nothing had happened, just missed a couple of months). I also have PCOS and endo to add to this mix. For some reason I really wanted this month to be "the one", and have been really disappointed ever since AF arrived.

One of my clients is also pg, (I would have been due about 3 weeks after her), and it is really hard watching her belly grow (i see her 3 days a week), she had scans on wed. which went good for her, and I am pleased for her but it makes it hard on me. Just feeling sorry for myself!

I've started off the exercise programme I was doing before I fell pg. lots of walking, eating properly (trying!!!!), and thinking of joining a gym, which if i can fit it in before work, i just might, (i start at 7am and finish at 5.30pm).

nicksteruk - i know what you mean about the hair, i had mine re-done last night, it's now lovely shades of red and pink and about half the length, i think i really needed the cut, my hormones made it all dry and yuck (feels so much better).

mollycat- hi there , sorry for your loss.
angle babies- well do you
i am now day 85 since D&C,10 dpo i so much want AF to arrive so i can move on, my dh thinks i am so grumpy at the moment , i think it is no AF and my birthday is close, another year older.

Hi Mollycat - sorry for your loss. I hope that you are doing okay and getting the support you need.

Hearing you all talk about the gym has reminded me that I said I would start walking each day for min 30 mins....has only happened a couple of times. I really want to lose weight before we fall pregnant again - so I need to start motivating myself.

I know what you all mean about doing things that you wouldn't be able to do pregnant. We were walking the other night, and I tripped and fell hard. I started crying after and explained to DH it was not because of the pain, but because if i fell like that pregnant it would have been scarier. I admitted that as I was falling my thought was 'thank god I am not pregnant and this can't hurt the baby'. It made me realise how front of mind the baby has always been for me.

I hope you are all doing well. It is hard to see women who are at the same stage of pregnancy we should be. I have that situation coming up in a week (friend due 2 weeks after I would have been) and I am worried about seeing her for the first time.

Firstly I know what you mean about things being different, I walked through the shopping center and someone came towards me and I automatically put my arm around my stomach to protect my babies........ Its really confronting, not once has it happened where I havent ended up in tears running down and trying to just continue through the shopping center. One day soon I wont try and protect my angel babies that left me 18 Days ago.

Now I do have a question that I m sure I will get a better answer here than anywhere else.

As most of you know I lost my babies on new years. I have been waiting for AF to start my next cycle. While I have been waiting I have been trying to figure out this whole charting thing.

Now If I go by the charting theory.... even though I dont have huge amounts of information, then my BBT has dropped dramatically to 36.1 and have egg white CM..... NOW does that mean........ even though I have recently Miscarried that I am ovulating. The way I understand it on a normal cycle those are the factors for ovulating but is it still that way straight after a miscarriage.

:dunno:

I have no idea about charting Angel Babies so can't help you there. I try to stay ignorant as much as possible because I know if I start it would become an obsession.

Betty- I hope you get your af asap so you can move along in your journey.

All this talk of excercise makes me feel guilty lol. Went for a long walk yesterday, mainly because we sold our cars so we didn't have to drive down to Melbourne and have no other choice but to walk lol.
I would like to lose about 5-10kg if I can before start TTC. DP needs to lose a whole lot more just for his health as he is quite round, just hard to get motivated, I am especially lazy and would rather just sit at home and cook and eat good food lol. Unfortunately not very good for the waist line.

..Laura

Just spent more than an hour filling out the health forms for the FS next month. what's got me worried, however, is he will be my primary MD until well into my next preg. but if I don't get preg, how long will he keep me? besides, I don't want to feel pressured to get preg. I'm so ambivalent right now...gonna go slice me some of that cyber cake if there's any left LOL!...

Katiegirl: I'd love to know how you used maybe baby for TTA. didn't you say in another thread that you use NFP? because we do, too. Is it something you can explain over this thread, or did you follow the directions in the package or a boo? I'd really love to know. thanks

Angel Babies: very proud of you for taking positive steps for your health. you go, grrl! *doing that snap in the z formation thingy* PS that was an amazing story about your friend. she sounds incredibly brave.
some women do ovulate right away after MC

mollycat: i'm so sorry for your losses. i'll keep you in my prayers

bettyboop: hang in there!

Hey Everyone

bettyboo - know exactly how you feel about other people being pregnant. I found out last night that someone we know has fallen pregnant with her second child and she isn't happy about it and here we are sitting and waiting for it to happen with us just once. I am really happy for her but just feel a little jealous too.

Katiegirl - i am with you i also want to lose some weight before falling pregnant again but finding it really hard to get motivated. Even though pregnancy is a great motivation it seems to be really hard to get my butt off the couch when i have been at work and have woken a couple of times through the night with my 2 year old.

Hope everyone has a great weekend..have fun and think babies

Hi Tempus. I have not used the Maybe Baby. I do practise NFP - so am adept at checking my mucous daily (TMI!!!). We used it at first to prevent conception, so it also made it easier the other way around. I have heard about this Maybe Baby but I do not think I will use it just yet. My naturopath has me taking my temps but I have no idea what is all means. The highest my temp has gotten over a 2 week period is 36.3 and the lowest about 35.9. Is there meant to be a sharp rise at ovulation? I seriously need some education!

To everyone else, I hope you had good Fridays and a great weekend ahead of you.

Angel Babies- What on earth are you doing up at 5am?! Hope you are looking after yourself properly; get some sleep! I was full of good intent to do a 'workout' this morning- but ended up in front of the telly with mug ot tea and peanut butter on toast :lol: Oh well, it's the thought that counts eh?! I don't do charting (yet!!) so can't help with your question, sorry.

Mollycat, welcome :hug: Hope you have good news soon

BettyB- Hope af comes soon for you. Keep your chin up and make sure DH treats you to something nice for your birthday. maybe you'll get the best gift of all this year...!? Fingers crossed! (TempusM could make you a lovely cybercake :dance:)

Hi Laura, Hi Trac, Hiya everyone, have a great weekend :hello:

Ohhhh Nickster I paid for it today...... I was up because i just couldnt sleep.... this whole charting and ov was driving me insane trying to work it out. So basically the conclusion is that last that i have ov and had done a bit of the dancin at the same time....... baby dancin. My thought is that if i did just ov then that means in 2 weeks i will either be happy chappy or AF will visit..... either way i will know where i stand so i m fine with that.

i m not discounting natural after our ivf mainly because our health has increased 10 fold and we actually dancy dance on the right days now.

Ohhhh but today.... i was sooooooooo slow at work. lucky i m the boss and i can hide in my office :lol:

For those of you on TWW i m so in there with you..... and more so than that i m focasing on a long term pregnancy for you

I know this year is a good one......

That's it. I can't take anymore of this cake talk! My cupboards are bare and the best I can do is a withered apple!

Hi All. I have been really busy at work this week and have not had the chance to catch up with you guys. It has been great to sit with a cup of tea and an imaginary slice of cake and find out what you have all been up to!

Hello to Leigh and to Mollycat, sorry to hear of your losses, hope you have some luck soon:crossfingers:

Betty B, where is AF?? Hope she comes soon

Angel Babies, good on you going to the gym. I have also decided that I cannot shy away from exercise, as I no longer have the excuse that I am pregnant, and have discovered that my fitness level has taken a dive! I am in a running club, and the rest of the gang have no idea what has been going on with me. Instead of jogging along at a (fairly) respectable rate, I now keep pace with one of our slowest runners. :( Oh, well, I guess I'll have to keep at it...

Nickster, as a fellow 'pomme' (sp?), are you also madly jellous of the aussie/ Kiwi / SA weather?? Here in the UK, it is cold, dark, wet, grey, wet, soggy, nasty, wet, .... Roll on spring! It is a great idea to get a haircut, I think I may just follow your example and book myself in for a re-style this week.

I have had a weird day today. The first thing that happened was that one of my patient's had her 18 month old son with her and he started crying, so I lifted him out of his buggy and onto his mum's lap. This should not really be a weird thing, but I dont have children of my own and dont spend any time with them at work. It was lovely to see how he stopped cying when he was in his Mum's arms and how the two of them responded to each other. Am I being a bit loopy? Maybe it is my hormones, it just made me think that I would really love to have that connection with my own son or daughter one day..:)
The next thing is what I have been almost dreading since my m/c happened. A friend told me that she is pregnant. I was pleased that my immediate reaction was of thorough happiness for her, but I cant help being a tad jelous. She is 10 weeks, which is where I was when I started bleeding. She did not know about my m/c and stupid me, I just blurted out that i had been preg too, then had to tell her the rest.

To everyone who is waiting, for Af, for O, 2ww for hosp appointments, etc.. I know where you are coming from, keep your chins up! I am getting bored of the odd bleeding / discharge / cramping that has been going on for the last 2 weeks. I was told not to do BD until bleeding stopped, so no getting jiggy to while away the long wait.

Hope you all have a fab weekend, happy TTC ing!
C.

HI all,
so sick of packing...
Had a funny day yesterday, late afternoon I had some bleeding again after the m/c.
It was only light, but I hadn't bled for about 3-4 days since the m/c so I thought it was all over.
Doctor did say if I started bleeding again to go back and see him, but I have no car and no inclination.
Just feel like it was allll supposed to be over but it comes back to bite you on the bum just when you start to move on.
It seems to have stopped now, just some light brown discharge when I wipe (TMI sorry)
maybe it was because we BD the night before?
I dunno, just sick of it all really, luckily DP was a good boy last night and made a huge batch of Anzac Biccies so I can go and drown my sorrows with a few and a nice cup of tea, unfortunately it's too early for beer :)

...Laura

Blame the Baby Dance.... each time mine stopped after I lost my 2 if we did ANY dancing it came back but just for a tad. Hubby would go.... I thought it had finished... I just said back to him what do you expect... come on .... think about it... what just happened..... he was like... ohh Ok I suppose.... My thought was... i m not going without the BD so if it means afterwards a bit of spotting then so be it. give me the dancin anytime :dance: :dance: :dance:

My M/C was a week before yours, did a bit of dancing yesterday and there was nothing afterwards...... well except a smile... or two. :D:D

Must be what it is because all seems to have cleared up now.

I won't be going without dancing either, might just send me insane :)

Hi all,

Hope you're all enjoying the weekend. DH went away this morning and wont be back til Wednesday. Of course I got my 1st positive opk this morning so I guess I'll ovulate while he's away :doh: we did however :bd: last night so im :pray: that those little swimmers will make it to my :egg: Im not feeling confident though.

fingers crossed for you leigh

good luck leigh!!

Fingers crossed they like to swim for a while ...... good luck.......

I covered all bases with ov the last few days..... happy hubby :dance:

Leigh- Good Luck!

Laura- Hope the move goes ok. We moved in April and I remember what a tedious job the packing (and unpacking again) was. In fact, I'm sure there's a few boxes still in the attic that need sorting. Doh!

Canary- Hi:hello: Yes I am Sooooo jealous of the Aussie weather- I'm totally a summer person! Looking forward to spring, and for this yucky rain to disappear, and for some good news some time soon (fingers crossed !??)

DH and I have decided that if we haven't fallen pg before the end of April we are going to give it up for another year, maybe entirely. This is because my DS (nearly 15) and DD (13) will be taking important exams next summer (2009), so a new baby during that time would be unfair. Of course DH and I will also be older (He'll be 40 and I'll be 35) before we would be in aposition to even start trying again, so maybe it'll be too late then. What do you think?

We went out last night (for the first time socially) to a work colleague's 'do.' It did us both the world of good and despite (slight) hangovers- we rolled home at 2.30am this morning (It's Saturday here) we feel more 'normal' again!! I found myself totally relaxed and had a really lovely, giggly evening which was a pleasant surprise as I was nervous about how I would be.

Look at me writing an entire essay- sorry girls!!
Have a great day, Hi and Bye to all xx
hope to hear some brilliant news soon from TWW ladies :thumbsup:

I questioned for a long time whether I was "past it" when it comes to having more children as I already have an 18 year old son as well as a 16 year old son to a previous marriage. If it were just me then yes I would have left it at that and focussed on how good it will be to be a grandmother..... not in a hurry.... still to young of course. But 4 years ago I remarried and my I love my husband in a way that is impossible to measure. To me it was an easy decision to go through this so that he can experience the joy of being a parent.

Sometimes its like I m looking at my life from outside and goodness Its ummmmmm origional. Here I was last night in the chat room on BB talking away, when my son, 18, says "mum could you drop me and my mate at the pub, we ll catch the bus from there into the city" and at the same time I was working on my memorial book for my angels. Its like I have to stop sometimes to do a double take on my life and where I am in it.

I suppose doing things the "normal" way has never really been me. So I suppose a teenage pregnancy (18) and then now an "old persons" (38) pregnancy sort of fits in and yet during my normal reproductive years I was on the Pill.

So I suppose my longggggg answer for you is. Your not to old if its the right thing to do and only you and your DH can decide that.

To those of you in the "old persons" catagory, obviously that s not how we really are just how the people in white jackets see us. .......... Maybe we should put them in white jackets that actually tie up....... AT THE BACK


:thumbsup:

I promise not to babble on so much today.

Good Luck Leigh, :bluedust::bluedust:

Nickster, I'm glad to hear that you have been letting your hair down. Good luck with that hangover!

A Question : My mood has been all over the place for the last couple of days. Really down, then feeling better, (mainly because the sun is shining for once, hurrah!), then down again and grumpy and snappy at DH. I dont think this is AF on her way, it's a bit soon. Does this sound familiar post m/c?? Am hoping I can blame this on my hormones 'cos otherwise I am turning into a monster. :wall:

Hope you're all having a great weekend!

Well Canary we both miscarried on the same day, I can completely relate to you. I feel like one second I am the absolute b1tch and then the next minute I m looking at those around me, my family and I just have so much love for them it brings me to tears. Followed by wanting to scream at them.

Ohhhh and people skills at work.... ohhhh forget it. I m incrediably blunt with people and there is no mistaking for them if i m not happy with their work. So much so that I hide in my office, the walls of my office are driving me crazy but I m better being in there than i suppose "taking it out on others"

It is also probably why I have become addicted to BB. I dont have to be anyone, or anything...... I m allowed to be a mother mourning the loss of her babies, surrounded by people who do not judge me and who know what I m going through. That freedom gives me enjoyment, enjoyment that I have not been able to find face to face with people yet and helps me on my road to recovery beyond what is imaginable.

The way I look at it, and the way I have explained it to My wonderful hubby (see he is good again, i was cranky at him earlier) who I am right now is a mother grieving, time heals grief and i suspect that time will get me back to myself again or will at least settle the not so nice side of me down.

Phew! Thanks Hun, I'm glad it's not just me. And at work too!! Since I have been back, I have managed to unintentionally upset six different people and was way too snappy at a poor junior yesterday. Had to make up by being extra nice for the rest of the morning!
I am also addicted to BB and really missed it when I didnt have the time to log in over the last week.
Thanks again!
C.

Ladies it's time for a new thread. You can find it here. All the best.