TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ July 07 #2

OMG, Megsmum!!!! Congratulations on your BFP :dance: I nearly missed your post because I was just about to hit submit on mine after previewing it. That's just such exciting news and I'm thrilled for you! I'd be off to the GP tomorrow, I'd be too excited to wait until the end of the week to start monitoring hCG and progesterone levels!

Satya, I know how stressed you must be feeling right now. Do you have any meditations you can do, or that sort of thing? Everyone here will be sending you lots of stickyvibes and hoping with you that everything is okay and it's just your little one snuggling in and implanting strongly. :pray:

Welcome Laura. I'm in my second cycle of TTC since my D&C at the beginning of May. This is my second tour of duty in the TTCAML thread as I also had an early m/c last October. Fingers crossed for you, that your visit here is short and sweet.

Sharon, it's good to see you back and I'm delighted for you that you've got your first irrefutable dark dark dark positive OPK. A good omen. I have my fingers crossed for you and me. Looks like we're cycle buddies, or pretty close to it. I had a nearly positive OPK yesterday and I'm sure I'll have one today. I'll report back this evening! Hoping that last night and this morning's BD action catches the egg.

LizJessie, how did you go this morning? Did you test again?

Good luck for Wednesday's ultrasound, littlescottishboy. Hope it's all good news. *hugs*

Okay - I better run! Be back later to catch up though.

Hi girls

I didn't make it through the weekend without AF showing up, witch! So feeling really low and ready to give up hope. This was the third cycle of clomid for me and we since discovered that DH also has issues (double whammy) so back to the gyno on Thurs probably for a referral to a fertility clinic. I am guessing it will take a month or two to be able to get an appointment as well. So I am going to forget about it all for a while and have a break from it all including BB. I will check in from time to time but for now don't really want to be reminded of anything even remotely baby related. Good luck everyone, sorry for the depressing post.

Megsmum - congrats on the BFP.

I went to my GP today to see if there was anything more we could do but she wants to wait for the BT results tomorrow. If the HCG level has gone up I will be going for an ultrasound, if the level has gone down, then we all know what that means. The spotting has got worse but it's still not what I'd call bleeding. Not feeling confident about this at all. My BBs don't feel tender today and I don't think that's a good sign, however I almost vomited when I took my vitamins this morning so who knows.

Oh Satya - sending you lots of hugs and hoping like crazy that your levels are still rising. Will check back in on you soon xx

Sharon - So great to hear from you, but so sorry you are still going through this :( Truly hoping this month proves to be a better one for you xx

megsmum - Congrats on your BFP! Wishing you a long, healthy pregnancy!

Laura - welcome. So sorry for your loss and that you need to be here. This is my 2nd time back in here (2 consecutive losses this year, 4th in total). I truly hope you have that magic BFP again soon.

timnic - GRRRR to AF :( She is a witch, I'm so sorry.

How is everyone else going that was waiting to test or with appointments???

No exciting news here, have to go for another BT on Friday, turns out I was given the wrong result 2 weeks ago :( My level was still at 9, but it should be ok now, but still not happy about the confusion....again!

Back later to check in on those waiting news.

satya - Sending you lots of :hug: and :pray: your way

kbowman - Haven't tested yet, but DF wants to go to the shops later, so I'll pick up one then and let you all know. I'm still expecting it to say :bfn: but it's just to keep my mind at ease - this Friday will be 6 weeks since m/c so now it's only 'Time Will Tell'

megsmum - thankyou for the congrats about the engagement! It's still trying to sink in! :P

Wow - there are so many posts!!!
Satya - I am sending you lots of hugs and I :pray: for this little one to stick.
Kbowman - Thanks for the info on OPKs, I will give the lullaby ones a go next cycle. I am glad to hear that you and DF could get together after all and hopefully you might have caught the eggie this month!!
I have decided not to go o/s, how boring!!!! I am too obsessed with my cycle, I know I would go bananas ovulating over there and passing up on a chance to bd... I need to relax, I know ;)
Treelo - what a pity about the party! You have every right to feel the way you do. It is perfectly normal and part of the grieving I think. I feel the same every time I see my pregnant SIL (practically every Friday) and I am trying not to be too :(, but it is soooo hard!!!
Littlescottishboy - good luck with Wed's u/s. Your previous charting is really valuable info for your next cycle. You'll be able to spot similarities etc... I started charting straight away after the D&C after one of the girls in this thread had recommended it and I am so glad I did now. I have been comparing it to my old ones a lot and I think I will also get onto fertility friend to check whether I am drawing the coverlines correctly...
Enjoy your time at your mum's!
Laui59 - Welcome to BB, I am glad you found us. I am so sorry for your loss, sending you a big :hug:
Sharon - Hope you feel better soon. The positive OPK and CM sound promising - hopefully August will be your month!
Zionsmum - I resisted charting a long time after a friend had passed on her thermometer to me (she used charting to conceive all her 3 kids). I think I had it lying around in the medecine cupboard for nearly a year! Now I am really into it as I find it the only reliable way for me to pinpoint ovulation. I have it next to my bed ready to go first thing when I wake up.
Megsmum - Congratulations :) and lots of :stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl:

Hi to everyone I have missed!

kbowman hope you got your nice strong +ve OPK today and got some BD'ing done. I am really starting to think about my m/c more lately and that is because 4 weeks from today will be my due date and I know that if i'm not pregnant by then I don't think I will cope with it very well at all.
timnik77 sorry AF showed up hopefully she leaves nice and quickly.
satya hope you get good news tomorrow, have my :crossfingers: for you
*las* thanks, I hope August is my month too.
LizJessie did you test yet, or are you waiting until the morning?
Penny this is the first time since my last pgcy that we actually managed to bd on the day of Ovulation, so hopefully it has worked.

BBL to check if there is any more news.

TTFN

:dance: Sure did get my positive OPK today, Sharon, so we can cheer each other on over the TWW. My first EDD from last year's pg was in early June. To have miscarried a second time the month before it was awful. And I felt like a right failure when Mother's Day came and went. Fortunately, I had all you guys to give me lots of cyberhugs and sympathy. I'll be here for you whatever happens. If that's OK with you! In the meantime, let's think positively and imagine :fertilise: and :bellygrowing: Yes, please!

Penny, with that go-get-'em attitude I think your TTC journey will be short and sweet! IKWYM about not wanting to miss valuable BD time. I get very frustrated if I think I'm going to miss out! lol

LizJessie, good luck with your testing. Hoping good things for you!

Las, arghh at the mix-up with your results. :wall: It's not good enough, is it. I'll be thinking of you on Friday.

Satya, not that I'm glad that you nearly vomited, but it is a good sign that things are progressing okay. Hope the spotting has stopped and that the BT results tomorrow show a happy but naughty embie, burrowing in. Throwing bucketloads of stickyvibes your way!! :stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl:

Sorry to hear AF arrived for you, Timnik. Sometimes taking a break is the best thing to do. Hope it's not too long though and that you keep popping in to let us know how you're going. *hugs*

Goodnight everyone. Will catch up properly tomorrow!

Satya - let us know how everything goes!

kbowman and Sharon - I'm waiting until the morning to test, I'm looking forward to it, although I'm expecting a :bfn:

The spotting turned in to light bleeding last night and it hasn't stopped. It's not looking good at all. I don't feel pregnant anymore if you know what I mean. My appointment is at 12.50 today and it's going to be a very slow morning waiting for it. I didn't go to work again as I knew I'd just spend half the day crying and the other half trying to explain to workmates why I was crying so it just seemed easier not to go. I started to cry while I was telling my boss I wasn't coming in, that will sure teach him for asking a female worker what's wrong with them!!!

I will pop back in after my appointment.

Oh Satya, still holding out hope for you *hugs*
Will be back later to see how you go.

Satya -oh hun i dont really know what to say. Except that many women do get some sort of bleeding in the first 4 weeks of pregnancy, although im sure you know that and it isnt going to stop you worrying, I think that you really do need to think positive and just rest until your appointment. Hang in there hun, i know thats easier said than done. Im thinking of you so much, if you need someone to talk for a while you can get me on msn - treelo_9@hotmail.com

sending big hugs to you sweety
treelo

Oh Satya. :hugs: I'm hoping hoping hoping everything is okay.

Sorry computer acting up

Satya
I am praying that everything goes well for you.:pray:

Thinking of you satya *hugs* xx

I'm home for two weeks, too exhausted with anaemia to get up and about. Feeling fine other than that though and keen to start TTC again. I decided not to wait this time for AF so when I stop bleeding from this D&C we'll try again.

Goodluck Kiwigirl.
I too nearly needed a transfusion from the heamorrhage that i had, and we started trying straight away once the bleeding stopped, which was about 4 days after my baby came out.

I hope everything goes well for you and your time hear is short.

hugs
treelo

Hi ladies.

The news was not good. HGC was down to 11 so there is no hope. I basically just have to wait for the m/c to complete now. So far it's taken on the same pattern of the last one so if it continues that way I should have no pain apart from a little lower back pain and it should all be over by the end of tomorrow. If it follows my first m/c then I will bleed lightly for two weeks.... again no pain. I have not passed any clots yet.

I am absolutely gutted. I was pretty sure this would be the result as my gyno warned me I could m/c again if I did conceive before the lap (due to the suspected fibroid) but my GP disagreed.... looks like the gyno was right. I just felt different this morning so I knew it was going to be bad news, but I couldn't help but hold out for a miracle (I've seen it happen to others), which didn't come.

Back to work for me tomorrow. The women I work with will know something's up as I have a reputation for not taking sick days and now I've taken 3 days off out of 4. I think I will just tell them what happened - get it out there and over and done with.

Oh Satya - I'm so sorry sweetie, it's just not fair that you are going through this again. Thinking of you and if you need anything, yell out xxx

Geez hun im so sorry. I wish you didnt have to go through this again. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal and greive. Im sending big hugs to you and your DH.

im here if you need me
hugs
treelo

Satya - I don't know what to say - I am so sorry, life is not fair. Sending you lots and lots of hugs :hug::hug:

Oh no Satya :( I am so very sorry, you so do not deserve this!

Big hugs to you and take care of yourself.

Awwwwwwwwwww Satya!!!!! That's so sad! I'm so sorry! :hug::hug::hug::hug:

Saltprincess – how are you going? Haven’t seen you posting much, did you make an appt with Mike?

*las* - I’m sorry to hear how rough things have been, I hope you are feeling okay and that the next 3 months pass in a flash.

Kerry – nice avatar, saucy! How have you been?

Pash – how is your treatment going? I’m glad your specialist appt went well, better than that last unfeeling git you saw.

Satya – I am so, so sorry for your loss. I hope your lap is very close and your little munchkin is not too far away. You must have a very special baby in store to go through all this pain; I will keep you and your DP in my prayers. Good luck at work tomorrow.

Timnik77 – I’m sorry AF arrived and I hope the FS appt goes well.

Kiwigirl – what an awful thing to happen to you! I hope O is very close for you.

TwoMums – I am so sorry to hear about your dad, I hope you and Kim are rewarded soon with a BFP.

Sharon19270 – hope you caught the egg this month. Fingers crossed for you.

Megsmum – Congrats!!! That is great news, sending you big sticky vibes!

Big hello’s to LizJessie, Treelo, Penny and everyone else. I hope you are all going okay.

Oh no, Satya! :crying: I'm so sorry this one didn't work out for you. I was hoping for that miracle too for you. When will you be going back to your gyno? This is awful and unfair. Are you sure about going back to work tomorrow? Take all the time you need. :hug: :hug: Thinking of you and your DP.

Kiwigirl, hope you'll be feeling better very soon and that the post-D&C bleeding stops asap. What a rough trip you're having. Hugs for you, hun.

Hello to everyone else, feeling too sad to stay on tonight. *Hugs* to everyone.

Late edit: Thanks for noticing, Shoegal :p I imagine your av would be surrounded by beautiful shoes! *Looks both ways, then sneaks a bellyrub for luck* Thanks for coming in to see how we're going. You're a sweetie!

Satya I'm so sorry :hugs: Its really not fair. I feel like throwing a tantrum for you. But as ppl keep saying to me, there is a +ve. You were able to fall pg naturally, and 4 months ttc feels like a lifetime, but isn't medically a long time. Perhaps you don't have 'unexplained infertility' after all (or anymore). When I asked whether you'd rather fall pg & mc, or not fall pg at all, you did say you'd rather fall pg. And I agree with you. But I also know how hard it is when you think all your dreams might just come true, then they come crashing down :hugs:

Rachael What an ordeal! You poor thing. It must have been hard physically and also for all the memories it brought back. Do you mind if I as why there were so many large clots for a 2.5cm piece of placenta? And your HCG had dropped too! I wish I understood our bodies better. You seem to have a really positive outlook, which I really admire. I'm relieved too that this was the reason you didn't fall pg sooner :hugs: Go easy on yourself hun, it will all work out.

I haven't started treatment yet. My HCG halved on Tue so DH convinced the doc to wait & see whether things would go away by themselves. But HCG went up again on Thu, so doc thinks that treatment is inevitable. Have told most of my friends & a lot of ex-colleagues now. Its easier to tell ppl about the C word than about m/c. Why is that?

A guy I used to work with died on Friday. He was 26. He started off with pneumonia, then they had to do open heart surgery on a faulty valve, then they diagnosed him with lung cancer. Gave him a month to live without chemo and 2 years with chemo. But he died 3 days after starting chemo. He's left behind a daugher and a fiance. A couple of months ago he was a fit lad, he played soccer, worked out, gave ppl lip at work! So I guess when life seems unfair, it could always be worse.

Sorry for being a bit of a downer! I do have some +ve news. I've got a job starting in 2 weeks. I'll be working with DH! And they know about my medical history & are understanding about needing time off. So that's a relief.

Thanks for asking about me Mammal & Shoegal. I'm doing ok, just struggling with the positivity thing.

Hi everyone else. All the best whatever stage of ttc or pg you are at.

Satya big :hug: to you, it is very sad that this has happened again so soon, take care of yourself, and take more time off work if you need to.
Kerry it would be great to have a cycle buddy, hopefully we both get our bfp's this month.

Satya-- I'm so very sad for you. I really thought this was it. :(
Pash-- glad to hear you're trekking along, despite all the bumps in the road.
Hope everyone else is well.

Hi All-

I have been back from holiday for over a week but it has taken this long to find some time to write. This is short - will write more when I have more time but I wanted to write in to send my deepest condolences to Satya -- I am so, so sorry. :( I hope that the support you get in here will help you heal a little faster so you can get back to TTC when you're ready. I just know there's a little angel out there for you. Please be good to yourself.

Hi Pash and Hi Shoegal - How's pgcy treating you?? ;)

Thanks for the messages of support Shoegirl, LizJessie, megsmum, Sharon, Sweetpetite, Penny, Treelo & Las & anyone I may have missed.

KBowman - I'm not even sure I will be going back to the gyno. He said I would hear from the clinic after the lap and all would fall into place from there (heading in to IVF). Now that I've conceived again naturally though, I don't want to do IVF but I'm hoping I can get some sort of support, perhaps progesterone or something to try and keep a baby next time. I'm going to give work a go today only because my work is going to be hugely behind. There's only one other admin in my team and she will have done pretty much none of my work. She had a sick day on MOnday as well (I think she went for a job interview as I know she's looking for work) so it will be absolute chaos. The longer I leave going back will just make it harder to go back. If anything is going to make me crack today it will be walking in and seeing that my workmate hasn't bothered to finish off the reports that were left on my desk. All that needed to be done was bind them but I can almost guarantee she won't have done them even though our guys always want them ASAP.

Pash - You know, I still agree that it's better to fall pg than not - at least I have hope. What a shock that must have been when your old work mate died so quickly. It is awful when such a young person goes like that. I'll be telling my DF that story tonight - he's just given up smoking again but maybe his story can be the thing that stops him from smoking ever again. Good luck with the chemo when it does start. I will be thinking of you.

:cry:

Well we got through the difficult day so hopefully it will be onwards and upwards from here. The hardest part was waiting for the result from the doc. Once I'd got it and managed to walk out of the clinic & get home & had some tears I started to come good again. It was not unexpected news but still hard to deal with just the same.

I've passed some clots and had very little bleeding overnight but it's just started up again. Had a little back pain but that's about it, pretty much the same as last time.

We are basically TTCing straight away. There is no time to waste.

Couple of questions ladies:

For those of you who temp: When did you notice your temp go down after your m/c? Mine's still up and I wasn't temping when I had my other m/c so I don't know when to expect it to go down again.

My doctor did not ask me to come back to get my HCG levels checked again. Shouldn't I make sure it's gone right back to zero in a week or two?

Satya
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I really hoped this was your sticky baby.
I cant imagine how devistated you are. How long until your lap? I would definately follow your hcg back to zero at least then you know what your body is doing.
Take care and dont push yourself to hard at work.
Here is a little poem my mum gave me.

Angel baby, when you tiptoed into my life,
I knew it was only for a while,
And just the though of you, my darling, was
enough to make me smile,
When the angels came for you, I could hardly bear for us to part,
But I knew they would keep you safe,
forever loved, and within my heart!

Hay

been a bit a wall lately - im so sorry satya and kiwigirl my biggest hugs at least you know you can do it with out the docs and without the drugs satya

on my note its been a bit rocky here. Dp and i almost split for good over this last week but alotta crying and loving changed his mind about leaving me..

So along with the :BFP: and all that its been a long week. doc reckons that i am about 5 1/2 weeks atm and i am so scared to see my GP. Dont want to loose it. Am generally tired and sore. I have also had this pulling sensation across my lower abdomen . Any ideas why? I am So paranoid that its a early m/c that just keep telling my cell cluster how much i want a happy and healthy baby to form.

Hugs for today, Satya. In regards to your question about temperatures, I had a look at my August 30 chart from last year and then the one following and my temperature had dipped below the original "coverline" within two weeks but there was a 0.3 drop almost immediately. I was temping right through that pregnancy until I m/c. It's in my charts if you click on my ticker. As for getting hCG levels done, I had mine checked about three weeks after my pg failed and hCG had dropped to 11 from 2317 on the day of the first spotting that marked the end. After that I just did HPTs to check. Hope that helps. :goodluck:

Thanks Sharon! I'll be stalking your chart (in a friendly way :lol:) and you're welcome to stalk mine. Temperature rise for me today. Yay.

Pash, what a shock about your former workmate. In a previous life when I was a journo, I had the sad job of reporting similar sudden deaths. Blood clot following a knee operation caused one, asthma another. There was also one young fellow who fell asleep and never woke up. He also was a footballer and left behind a fiance. It's freaky and tragic. And, yes, it does make you re-evaluate what's important. Good luck with your treatment and congratulations on your new job. It's not the one where the interview was an hour early and the area sounded a bit scary, is it?

Eek, I better get a move on! BBL to catch up.

Kbowman - thanks for the info.

zennie - oh how awful for you. I hope you manage to get things sorted out and I hope that this bub is a sticky one.

Cherie - thanks for the poem. It made me cry.

:cry:
If anyone wants to know exactly how bad my workday has been so far, and it's only been an hour so far check out the older women's TTC latest thread. I have put all the details there. Let's just say it has not been good.

I'm so sorry you've had such a rotten morning, Satya. I wish I could take away the pain.

Is your lap soon? Does that give you something to look forward to, or is it just added stress to think about it? My friend conceived after having surgery to remove fibroids. She and her partner had sort of given up TTC and were heading to an adoption information session the day she found out she was pregnant. She had a lovely little girl when she was 43.

Sending extra strength and hugs your way. Hang in there!

mammal - I have to ring and find out where I am in the waiting list for the lap. I forgot to bring the paperwork with me so I don't have the details with me so I'll have to do that tomorrow. When I looked up the website for the hospital network I'm in it said that the usual wait was 12 weeks and that I would get 2 to 3 weeks notice. I think I've had two cycles since being placed on the list (maybe even three) so I must be getting pretty close to getting a letter with the date on it. I thought maybe if I rang and told them I'd had another m/c they might bump me up a little - don't know if they can do that but it might be worth a try I think.

Number 3 tearful meltdown happened about 1/2 an hour ago.... I just so want this day to hurry up and be over.

new thread time ladies

Love