TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ September 07 #1

Hi everyone. Thanks for replying. It's the most frustrating thing trying to figure out when your Oing or not, and even when youre pretty sure youve got it right, there are no guarrantees! Driving myself batty. Had made a pact with self not to get too mental over this, but hmmm, I think Im straying to the dark side of obsession. It's just so b-----y irritating, as Im sure you all know.
Leila- the whole cm thing does seems to be one of the most accurate ways to know when you O, as well as feeling for the position of your cervix. Generally (correct me if Im wrong), at O time, it should be positioned higher up so its harder to reach with your finger, and the OS (hole to uterus) should be open enough to get the tip of a finger inside. Sorry if its TMI, but it seems theres nothing sacred on this site :lol:
Starrysky - hi chick. Sorry I missed you AGAIN (lol)
Satya- How are those symptoms going? No offence, but I hope youre chucking your guts up right now! Here's hoping :crossfingers:
Everyone else,I hope your keeping saner than me, and goodluck!!!:) Just a quick edit. Satya I just read in the tww that youve been trying since you were 28. I wanted to tell you that I think you're amazing!!!!! You're one of the strongest people I sort of know (lol), and I hope with all my heart you get a nice sticky BFP really soon. Fingers and toes crossed for you, your not out of the game until AF arrives, and hopefully she's on holidays....

sweetpetite - it took me 7 and a half weeks to get AF back after my m/c - and I was told it was completely normal, so I'd say between 4 and 6 weeks is ok

kbowman - Yeah, I'm thinking I might start getting myself healthier than I am now to help with the future - I mean, we're probably not going to be going into our own place for about 5 or 6 months, so I suppose I can wait.. When I actually got together with DF I didn't want kids because of my previous relationship (We were together for over 3 years and were trying for 2 of the three years and never fell pg), and he didn't want kids till he was at least 28-30... Everything has changed when I found out I was pg, and then I m/ced... Ever since that, I've wanted to have a child, and he, I think, is the same, but he wants to know where he's working next year.. I dunno, I'm trying not to think and understand the male mind! Hahahaha!

Leila - I think there is some info on charting when doing shiftwork on fertility friend if I am not mistaken...
LizJessie - sorry to hear about DF wanting to hold off :(
Kbowman - I hope that your hayfever settles down soon - not much fun, I used to get bad attacks of it when I was a kid, luckily it has more or less disappeared now..
Treelo - how is the chickenpox patient?
LSB - sorry to hear August wasn't your month :(
Beaksie - the EWCM sounds very promising!! Hope you'll catch the egg!:)
Sweetpetite - I would check with your ob if he has any thoughts on what's happening. It must be very frustrating and I hope that AF shows up asap :pray:

Hi to Starrysky and everyone else I have missed - enjoy your weekend!

There is not much going on here - I am almost over my cold/flu thing now, just can't get rid of this awful cough that comes with it... Of course all this happened right at O time, so I don't know what to think about having caught the egg this month. I did have a fever for a couple of days... There is always something to worry about - it's driving me nuts!!:wall:
So, I am going out to a party tonight and having a drink:lol:

hello everyone,
noone ever seems to be around when im on here! :wall:
i hope everyone is good, i am trying to feel good, trying not to slip into the depths of depression. feel like i am going to burst into tears all the time..... :cry:
i have absolutley no motivation to get anything happening in my life atm, even though i know that ultimately doing something will help me regain an optimistic outlook again.
sorry about that, its the way i feel and i need to say it someone, anyone or i will bottle it all up and explode..........
anyway, satya, hope to hear from you soon, i hope all is going well?
beaksie, you are so right, nothing is sacred, lj no luck yet?
hi leila, cm is supposed to be a good indicator, as far as i know,
kbowman- so glad winter is over, thankgod spring is here!
everyone else sorry i missed you........xxx

hi penny have a great night!!

Penny - Thanks - I'm a bit bummed, but if he's not ready, then I'm not going to push

Hi everyone,

Sadly I got a BFN today, was really secretly hoping for good news on father's day but maybe next month will be our month. I switched methods back to "advanced" on FF rather than "research" and it shifted my O date 3 days later so I'm just waiting for AF to show up now.

Hope everyone's weekend is nice :) Yay for spring.

Sorry you got a BFN, Kiwigirl. *Hugs* If you're only 12 DPO according to FF advanced, then hopefully it was just that you were too early to test. Praying AF stays away for you!!!!

LizJessie, we could go mad trying to work out the male mind. Lol.

Penny, hope you enjoyed your party! My DP has had an irritating dry cough for a couple of weeks now and his GP told him on Saturday that it was bronchitis. Keep an eye on that cough! Hayfever seems to be sticking around for me, alas.

Yes, glad it's spring as well, Starrysky. I think that there's not so many people posting in here at the moment because they are posting in Two Week Wait Support thread instead for some reason. But the mods mustn't mind as that thread is up to about 200 posts now. IKWYM about having a lack of motivation to do anything. I'm finding it harder and harder to get out of bed lately!

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend. And that we each have a new bub in our arms next Father's Day. :)

kbowman - That is exactly right! Hence the reason I'm happy to wait

kiwigirl - sorry bout your bfn!

Hi girls,
looks like I am out for this month - AF is on the way, I just started spotting...
I am a bit surprised because it's early - another 25 day cycle. That's the second one after the D&C. Has anybody else had the same? Pre d&c my cycles have always been 27/28 days. I am now worried about the length of my luteal phase... Should I try Vitex for this cycle? If yes, where do you get it and what is it?
Any thoughts would be appreciated...

Sorry for the selfish post - back with more personals tomorrow!

Hugs for you, Penny. My first cycle after D&C was over eight weeks long, the second was 25 days and the third was 28 days. Trying Vitex will probably help. You can get it from the Blackmore's range of supplements at most chemists. I bought a couple of bottles and I've begun taking Vitex this cycle.

TMI warning. I'm now on my sixth day of getting ewcm. Seeing it mostly in the afternoon/evenings the past couple of days and there's a lot of it. Hoping to have another Date Night with DP this week. :pray: we catch the egg this time!

Quick post ladies. My temp went really low yesterday morning so I'm thinking AF is on her way but still no brown spotting like I usually get. I didn't get a chance to temp this morning as we stayed at my mum's overnight and it wasn't planned so didn't have my thermometer with me. I guess it could be a implantation dip like I had last cycle - 3 day dip last cycle so who knows. My BBs feel a little sensitive today. Had a little pink spotting after BD last night but nothing since.

We lost my aunt to her battle with cancer yesterday morning. It's been a really difficult weekend.

Satya, sorry to hear about your aunt. I lost my uncle last year and I still struggle somedays to believe he's not still earthbound. I often dream of him too. Big hugs to you and your family.

Hi to all,

I have finally started spotting! Its now been 5 weeks since m/c & d&c. Two days ago I had pink tinges (apologies for tmi) and today its been more promising but still not full af. I'm really pleased if this is the real thing so everything gets back on track again. This waiting for AF has really been p***ing me off. Other promising symptoms have been back ache, short temper, headache and slight bloating.

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend and get on the :bfp: bandwagon soon.

Curl

Curl, that's so great that your cycle is getting back on track. It's a horrible wait. Particularly when coupled with PMS. Hope you're feeling better soon. And that AF arrives properly so you know for certain. Love and hugs.

Sorry about your aunt, Satya. Must have been very hard. *hugs*

kbowman, thanks for your support.

And YIPPEE AF is really here, I now have cramping and the flow is genuine, not the annoying stop/start thing anymore. Rotten headache is still here too though... better go and take a panadol or something, oh and of course have a cuppa! Everyone have a great day!

Satya - sorry to hear about your aunt.

Kbowman - thanks for the hugs and support - it's much needed today. I will have a look for some Vitex...

Hi to all!

I don't know what to do. I have a close friend who's partner had an emergency c-section at 28 weeks. I would like to tell them that I m/c but is it too selfish, should I just not say anything? They weren't aware that I was pregnant. Their 28 week old is breathing on her own now.

Hi everyone. Hope you all had a lovely weekend.

Wowzer - so sorry to hear about your friend's situation with the c/s at 28 weeks. I hope the baby will be okay. I think it would be perfectly fine to tell them about your m/c if you feel up to it; it might make them realise there are other people in the world who also have unfortunate things happen, not just them.

Curl - glad for you that AF finally came! Yaay. Now you can get your cycle and life back on track!

Satya - so sorry to hear about your aunt. I know how hard it is. My darling Dad passed away from cancer last year and it is the bigest bummer. No one knows what grief really does to you unless you have gone through it yourself. Be good to yourself hun and keep filling your thoughts with happy memories of your aunt.

KBowman - Hope you catch the eggie this month matey! Hope your hayfever has gone away and thanx for your comment about my pic of Angus - he certainly is a cheeky little monkey! His favourite hobby now is building towers out of new toilet paper rolls!

Penny - so sorry that AF came for you hun. It sucks. But Vitex is a great idea! I am on it, just started halfway through last cycle. I am on the liquid version as i have been told your body may absorb liquids quicker than tablets, but who knows? I'm sure it's all great stuff. I take 2ml vitex liquid in a small amt of water every morning.Tastes gross but i figure it's doing good stuff.

Kiwigirl - so sorry you got a BFN this time round. Hope next month is your month.

Starrysky - So sorry you feel down lately hun. Glad that you can share and "un-bottle" things in here - i agree, sometimes you feel like you're goinmg to explode if you kep it all in. Hope things get a bit better for you. Maybe have a glass of wine or two tonight to help you relax a bit?

Beaksie - I know what you mean about the frustration of trying to work out when you are "O-ing" ... it can be so hard, can't it? I reckon we are going to BD every second day in middle of cycle and hope for the best.

Leila - CM is supposed to be the best way other than temping, so you're right on track there. Beaksie is also right abou the cervical position and texture changing (your cervix feels like the tip of your nose in the week before ovulation, then feels softer, almost like your lip, when you are about the ovulate. This is when it slightly opens as well).

Sweetpetite - Hope you can get some advice about your Af, hun. With my second m/c i had a d anc c and it took my body 3 months (12 weeks)to get normal Af back. My GP said theymust have taken away lots of the 'base' layer of my lining and it had to rebuild itself again before my body would work normally again. I think about 3 months is the longest i have heard; after that time maybe the doc can give you something to bring it on?

LizJessie -so sorry your DF is being difficult about not wanting to try at the moment. Men can be so hard to work out. Hope things get a bit easier.

Well, on CD4 at the moment. Have already planned the next round of BD nights with DH - have told him he is definitely NOT to go running on those nights as he sometimes does (heat from exercise also heats up the little fellas and then there aren't enough of them left to go 'swimming'!). Hat having to be so organised about it all; but otherwise we'd probably be too tired from work and wouldn't want to make the effort!

Have a great week girls.

Satya really sorry to hear of your aunts passing. Fingers crossed that it was implantation bleeding and you get you BFP really soon!!
Kiwigirl sorry about you BFN, hopefully next month hun.
Penny i have heard that after mc your cycles can be messed up - hopefully they will return back to normal really soon for you
kbowman - fingers crossed you catch that egg and this is your month for BFP
Curl - glad to hear af is arriving finally and hopefully your cycles will return to normal as well.

Hi every one else i have missed out - hope you all had a great weekend.
As for me... I have noticed watery CM and have had TMI warning - no brownish discharge at all so hoping that is all over now and body is sorta getting back into the swing of things.

Wowzer you are in a hard place - i think it would all depend on how close you are to the friend who had the bub?? and how they are coping with the circumstances of why bub was born so early. I don't know what i would do its a hard one!!
LSB - hope this is you cyce for BFP - finger crossed for you!!

Hi all, I have been reading this thread for about the past week now and am really hoping you can give me some advice. Does anyone know much about molar preg? I had a twin partial molar in May and have been told that i need to wait 6 months after my hcg is 0 before ttc. My levels dropped normally and were at 0 about mid June so am coming up to the 3 month mark. Problem is that I want a baby so so much that it is really getting me down :( and to be told that I can't even try makes it even worse :cry: - sooo not in a good place right now. I'm at the point where I am starting to think b****r it, I'm just going to try anyway, I mean what are the chances of getting pg straight away anyhow? I've been told by the drs that if I did get pregnant that the chance of the mole coming back doesn't increase at all, they just wouldn't know the hcg was rising because of pregnancy of recurrent mole - surely isn't this what a scan is for? I know in my heart of hearts that I do have to wait but I just can't - any thoughts on this? It is doing my head in. Just for the record, after my D&C, because of what went wrong, I had to go straight back on the pill and AF came eaxctly 28 days after my D&C which is surprising as she hadn't visited for the whole 2 years after I came off depo!!!! Thank you - I needed to vent soooo much. :hugs: to you all

Melissa 28 :heartbeat: DH 37
:angel::angel: 4 May 2007

hi guys well i am back on the bandwagon - trying to do this all over again and not really being any more realistic - am cd27 so am testing but hey who knows found out last time day before AF was due - last cycle got a BFP (one week late) but started to bleed that day so am just calling that a dud test rather than face another m/c. My SIL had a whopping 10lb 1 1/2 oz baby boy over the weekend and yet another of my friends has announced her pg (she kept it quiet till the regulation 12 weeks) so its once again all happening for everyone else but me...sorry to feel sorry for myself

Rotten computer just froze on me and I lost my posting....

AJ - You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself, you are human. Pg people are everywhere. Someone told me recently that it is only because I have lost a baby that I've been noticing... what rubbish! They were everywhere before the m/c. My SIL had her implant removed a few months ago and I'm now dreading the call to say that she's expecting.

Melissal - Vent away! I've found it helps.

Leila - Sounds promising. Normal cycle around the corner.

Littlescottishboy - Best of luck bd'ing a positive result. A gf of mine has a friend who would put icepacks down his jocks to cool the boys down as he is a chef and obviously works in a hot environment. I think abstaining from a run is a much better alternative.

Kids are yelling and pushing each other so I have to go, I'll come back again later when things have calmed down again.

Curl

:hugs: Satya, I'm sorry to read about your aunt. How are you and your mum and the rest of your family holding up?

Rachael I'm sorry you got a BFN this month, but I guess its been a bit of an eventful month? (or did I miss a whole cycle?)

Hi everyone else. So much has been going on, I haven't had time to read everyone's posts.

My HCG levels have been going down still. Doc says I can start ttc six months after my HCG is zero, but I think I am going to wait about 3. If that. I'd better go, I've got to stick some pins in some condoms ;)

Hi Melissa,

I can't really help you with the medical side of your question as I'm not very familiar with that condition, but I do want to say that I totally understand exactly what you're feeling about the desire to get things up and running again.

I also lost twins, in June, and just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss and that I'm thinking of you (you too Pash, I see you're also in the same boat). :grouphug:

The urge to be a Mum can be so overwhelming at times, and I think even more so after what we've all experienced. I hope you get the answers you're looking for from your drs very soon. :)

Soulmate XXXX

Hi everyone.
Pash - great to see your HCG levels are coming down, thats a great sign, and hopefully you'll be back ttc before too long.
Melissal- I had a "suspected" partial mole with my last MC, and it took about 7 weeks for my Hcg levels to get to zero. The tests for molar preg were inconclusive in the end, because the samplw was too small, however the Ob said that because the levels were zero (which is all they worry about) I was free to start again when I was ready. Sorry I cant be any more help than that. Its a pretty freaky thing because not many people have even heard of the condition let alone experienced it. Hope all works out for you.
Satya- How are you doing? Hope you're taking care of yourself. Forgive me if this is the last thing on your mind, but have you tested yet? Would understand if you havent.
Starrysky- Hows things? What part of your cycle are you at now?
Everyone else, big hellos!!
As for me, am sitting at 4dpo, in the dreaded 2ww, although I must say, for once it seems to be going fairly OK. Not over stressing too much just yet. Helps to have a 1 year old to run around after I guess.
Anyway, have a wonderful day
Beaksie X

AJ there is nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself hun, we all do it at some point.
Pash - glad the levels are coming down for you.
Melissa - I dont know anything about molar pregnancies so im not much help, but i just wanted to wish you all the best.

Hi to everyone else - sorry for the lack of personals, im just a bit down these days. Im 10DPO today, i did a test yesterday and got a BFN. Yes i know i should wait but i am my worst enemy and just cannot wait. So of course im down and out and feel beaten, but i know i shouldnt, its only been two cycles since m/c. Hugs to everyone, i hope your having a great day.

hugs
treelo

Hiya Pash
I had a twin molar as well, my gynae-oncologist said the chances of twins and molar is something like 1 in 10000 - aren't we special :confused: Mine was picked up at 10 weeks during an ultrasound which apparently looked like a snowstorm rather than babies but strangely about two days before the us, my tummy got huge but babies had died 3 weeks earlier. Am 3 months post normal hcg and am sooo considering ditching the pill and letting nature (hopefully) do its thing - I am so ready to be a mum
Good luck and :hugs: to you
Thanks guys for your kind words, and beaksie thats good enough for me - just wait until dh gets home!!!!!

LSB - Thanks - DF is being rather difficult in alot of aspects in my life - but they're things I can't stop *shrugs* Hope your doing well

And I hope everyone is doing well :)

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your kind words. It was a relief to see my aunt go as she had gone downhill very fast. The weekend was hard as we had to get everything out of the home she was in out by Sunday so we only managed to have a casual lunch for my Dad and my DF who is of course a dad too... he was just happy to have his daughter with him this weekend. The funeral is not until Monday.

My AF arrived yesterday whilst on the way to Bendigo. My DF and I decided to go have a night away to reconnect after such horrendous fights last week and the stress of the weekend. I was a little disappointed with her arrival, but relieved that I didn't have to worry about testing (I would have tested this morning if AF hadn't arrived but forgot to take a test so it couldn't have done it anyway). I am presuming it's AF as I didn't bother checking my temp this morning but am assuming it is still down. My BBs are still on the tender side today. I was really hoping for a 3 day implantation dip like last time, but didn't think that was likely. Back to work for me tomorrow.

Hi everyone,

Wowzer- I think it would be hard but easier in the long run. I have a friend like myself who has just had 3 miscarriages and unlike me has chosen to keep everything hush hush. She has had to endure very difficult situations like 5 days after her last m/c to be asked several times if she wanted to hold a new baby. Also her coworkers are constantly asking when she is going to have a brother or sister for her DD. These are kind people who have no idea how much pain they are causing her. If they knew I am sure she could avoid most of these difficult situations and if she became upset people would understand.
I am sure that if your friend knew she would then understand if sometimes you react differently than expected. If you phrase it in terms of "I am so happy that your baby is doing well and I am here if you need me but I think you should know ..... so if I seem "off" that is why it isn't that I don't want to support you."

On the other front- Just a little rant-
So Male Dr.- does u/s and blood work. Says everything is fine go ahead. Also don't test until AF is 2 weeks late and save yourself the emotional wear and tear. Doesn't believe I m/c last time. 2 BFP but he doesn't think I was pregnant.

I go to previous Dr. (Female) She says I am surprised he didn't do more tests. Go and have some blood work done. 9 viles of blood taken. HE MISSED 9 TESTS. I expected a few. BUT NINE! At least I have peace in knowing I was absolutely right to Go to her and that she is doing her best to research this and test what we can. Some of the tests she ordered I know she doesn't think there is anyway I have those problems she did it just for the paper trail and to have the proof.

Don't you think I would be important to know if you m/c even if it is really early? Even just to document it.

gosh i had forgotten what it was like to be in here with you girls - i am glad that there is someone out there to listen to me moan that can actually understand what i am going through - my step sister who got pg three weeks after us last time (her first month of trying) has just finished B/F and her period isn't returned to normal and she is cd40 - i am so selfishly terrified of her being pg without even trying - she is on the pill (i think) but she may not be - how much would that suck - they don't know we are trying again... i tested again this morning - AF due tomorrow - still nothing - had some cramping yesterday - reading way to much into this all again!

Hi satya, We're now cycle buddies :) This month eh??!!! And I hope you have a much better week. Did going away help yesterday?

AF came yesterday for me too but I was expecting it. But man, is this the heaviest AF and most spewy/crampy feelings I've ever had or what!!! I am feeling very paranoid since of the massive haemmorage I had 5 weeks ago (you're right pash, it was an eventful cycle) but I'm just hoping it's everything returning to normal and unlike the light AF I've been having since the first D&C...

Jayney I'm glad you didn't settle for one dr's opinion. It's so important to have peace of mind (as much as possible) and feel like they're doing their job properly rather than not taking the time to investigate things properly.

Hi everyone else :)

Well it sure is hard to catch up when you've not logged on for over a week. I'm still trying to work out where everyone's at, so I'm sorry if there aren't many personals.

Satya- I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your aunt, but if she was going down hill fast, at least she's in a better place. :hug:

Sorry to everyone who got a BFN. :crossfingers: for next month.

As for me.... I got married on Sat which was fantastic! The reason I didn't log on last week was because I ended up having to have the D&C afterall. Can you believe it?! I waitted so long and there was so much bleeding. When my ob did the ultrasound, it was all still in there. I had the D&C that afternoon (Tues) and bleed for 2 days, then spotting. I started bleeding again the day before yesterday- is that normal?

We start our honeymoon in Perth tonight, then go to Japan. I hope the bleeding stops soon.

Congrats Ems !!!!!! Enjoy your honeymoon.

Guys i need some advice, i started bleeding this afternoon, but its very different than a normal period. First of all i usually get bad cramps a day before the bleeding starts, secondly the bleeding started off brown, and is now light pink and not very heavy. I am 11DPO today and AF is due on Sat. Im never early??? At first i just thought AF was here, but now im starting to wonder if something is wrong??? or implantation?? although its a bit more than spotting. I do have cramping now and a bit of back pain, but nothing unbearable. Its just all very different and i dont know what to think of it all.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
thanks
treelo

Hi everyone,

I still lurk around here and are here to give everyone some positive vibes and baby dust.....:bluedust:

Treelo- With both my pg, I had implantation bleeding. I thought both times AF was on her way because I was cramping too. My I/B was ranging from red to brown and sometimes more than spotting which led me to assume it was AF. Everyone is different though so I have my fingers crossed that you will get a BFP.

Now to all you other girls........ get a BFP very soon.

Take care

Jen

Hi Girls

Satya i am so sorry to hear about your aunt passing away, my thoughts are with you and your family ..

Treelo, i'm not sure about all those symptoms, but i guess all you can do is wait it out. Could be implantation bleeding!!

Ems congratulations on getting married, i hope you do enjoy your honeymoon!

I hope the rest of you girls are feeling a little better. I have been a part of these BB forums for over a year now and it is so lovely to have someone to vent to, talk to, ask questions or just report in on what is happening to someone that understands. I think i speak for all of us when i say that if you feel down, we are really here on the other end of the keyboard, and we understand... dont be alone!!

Well we are 5 days post IUI, gave kim her booster HCG injection yesterday and she is having one progesterone pessary each night as well, can't hurt. The TWW is dragging i must say. It is our last try for the year so cant help but feel we are pinning all our hopes on this cycle. Which is scarey because then if we get a BFN we will really be setting ourselves up for a huge disspointment.

Af is here :(

Hi all

Been lurking but not posting much. Am feeling pretty ordinary about not being pregnant :cry:

Satya - just want to send you some good vibes and pass on my condolences for your Aunt - it's always sad when a loved one moves on, regardless of whether it was expected or not, you will miss her.

Pash - hello over there, nice to "see" you again. Glad to hear your body is righting itself, bugger about having to wait though - it you're like me, patience is not a strong point in ttc matters!

Jenjams - thanks for the babydust, we all need it!! Your ticker is moving quickly!

Treelo - damm that AF, hopefully this will be her last visit for ages :pray:

ME - well 3.5 weeks post D&C and I'm still spotting - well don't know if it's spotting or a light AF - I've heard AF can be pretty light after a D&C. And I have EWCM, but it's blood stained. Have decided NOT to buy any OPKs or HPTs, and just let things take their natural course WITHOUT me obsessing about where I'm at. BUT it would be nice to know where I'm at in my cycle :wall:

Hello to everyone else and good luck in your TWWs or whatever WAIT you are waiting on ............

Lee xo

Hi everyone! well it's not looking too good for me again....I am 5 weeks today and last night started feeling like period cramps twice in two hours....when I went to the bathroom I found that I have started bleeding Bright red :( no cramps since and wore a pad to bed but it had nothing on it this morning,but when I went to the bathroom there was the blood again? so I guess this is the beginning? My DH and I are devastated but theres nothing I can do.....I feel like I am just waiting now :(