Dawnee take care. Have fun rafting.
Printable View
Dawnee take care. Have fun rafting.
Hi everyone,
Jayney - Thanks for the kind words. I really did need the support. I am an emotional wreck right now. Too much has happened this year and it just keeps getting worse and worse. A neighbour offered to take me to the funeral but I couldn't possibly take him up on it.... how on earth would have I explained bringing a stranger with me..... no one in the family apart from my parents know that DF has moved out and they don't know the full story as they would be very concerned if they knew. My mum just can't have that kind of stress placed on her.
Dawneee - I can't believe that people were so insensitive to you when they knew what was going on... it's just awful. I haven't posted what has happened but there are two major issues - one is trust related and the other is an anger issue.... they are very intertwined. He says he's getting help for the anger tomorrow....I hope he does. I have been quite paranoid since number 2 m/c and once I get a bit sus on something I pretty much can't see it any other way. I have seen him pretty much every day but when he leaves I just wonder what he's doing and who he's with, it's torture. My friends who know most of the details but not all are telling me to walk away but will support me in my decision however it turns out in the end. Have a great time rafting.
Ok, I'm adding to this as I've come to a decision. I am flogging a dead horse thinking that my DF & I will work out. I'm pretty sure he has Borderline Personality Disorder but is undiagnosed. His sister has it and his mother agrees with me. He has so many of the symptoms, I am sure it is the case. He has been abusive towards me, he has cheated on me and I think he is doing so again. All he's admitted to so far is seeing a woman behind my back for coffee but I'm sure there's more to it. Risky sex is one of the behaviours with BPD as are careless driving, anger, inability to keep jobs, inability to keep friends, loving people one minute then hating them because of some small issue the next. He lies a lot. It is a mental illness and he needs help but I don't think I can hang around to see it happen. My ex husband was mentally ill and I just can't do this again. It is soul destroying. What on earth have I been doing thinking of still having a child with him. That was soooooo hard to admit to but it's out there now.
Satya - hun you have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and it sounds like you are really trying to remain true to yourself through all this. i applaud you for your strength and your ability ot be so brave in thinking things through. Big hugs hun and look after you.
Dawnee - again i am so sorry matey that you have to go through this again. it totally sucks and life is not fair but we are all here for you anytime you need us.
Charlie23/Kelly - welcome hun and i hope your stay in here is short and sweet.
Angus seems to be getting a little better. They let us take him home from hospital but we have to give very strong penicillin every four hours to try to kick the pneumonia. As a result, i am not working at the moment - work can get stuffed until he is better! Trying to fit a few BDs in but not really too focussed on it this month.
Lotsa love and hugs to everyone i've missed.
Glad that Angus is getting a little better and I hope that the penicillin does its job quickly, Littlescottishboy. Pneumonia is scary.
Satya, I left my previous boyfriend who I'd lived with for seven years because I'd decided he wasn't the one because of his drinking. I didn't know it but he had a mental illness and it didn't end well without spelling it out. I wish you the courage to get through this phase in your life and I hope it all works out for you.
Penny, if you're lurking, hope you are doing okay! Did you get your vitex? I have a feeling that my luteal phase is going to be a short one this time, despite taking vitex!
Had a looooong chat with DP tonight and tomorrow night's Date Night, so I'm happy about that. Hate having longer than a week apart. Makes TTC fraught with difficulty. When it's already so !@$# difficult. But no point in being a Negative Nora. Here's hoping that we will all cross over to PAML before the year is out. :pray:
Satya- You are a brave woman to admit and face the problems with DF. It sounds like you are making a good desision. Although tough doesn't begin to describe it. I am sorry that you are in such a difficult position. Signing up for a lifetime of us and downs with him could be dangerous. I hope you can find support from people close to you in this difficult time.
Littlescottishboy- Glad to hear your little one is on the mend and that you are now at home.
Satya - If you ever need to talk, I'm right here - I've got a good mate thats got BPD
LizJessie, I just had a look at your chart. It looks like you're either having ovulation spotting or implantation spotting. Fingers crossed for you, honey!!
Satya, just read your other thread. And it sounds like your life would be a thousand per cent better off without him. Good luck.
Satya- DP's SIL has BP disorder too. We certainly know how destructive that can be to a family unit. Am here for support if you need it.
Satya:Ohhh Dear! you are in a really dificult situation.......I have been there many years ago with my first husband (The Father of my first two girls) I was very young (still at school) when I met him and he was mid 20's....he treated me like dirt over the years,was abusive,mood swings and unfaithful....??? well I reckon he wrote the books on it! I tried so hard and wanted to believe he would change he cut me off from Family,friends,I wasn't allowed a phone to learn to drive "nothing" but only I could make the decision to get away and considering my life was in danger and I was scared of him and his threats it was hard! He stalked me for years,tried to use the girls to keep a hold over me until I disappeared and that was 14 years ago!
But what I wanted to point out to you was the deciding factor for me was the Girls....I read that girls often Marry a version of their Father (I know I did) and I just couldn't bare them thinking that this was what they had to expect from a relationship! and then going on to end up in one just like it.....Even though you haven't had a Baby yet you need to seriously think about later on the influence and examples you want for that Child? even though my ex seemingly loved the girls and was never abusive to them they just became pawns,and when it comes down to it we will protect them no matter what,or at least we should.
On a happy note My husband is a Mr Brady off the brady Bunch hahaha white picket fence an all the girls love him and have called him Dad for years....the girls are very strong willed individuals that work and go to Uni and my eldest is heading towards the Police Service (bet she locks my ex up one day haha) and the second eldest is heading towards Television Camera work.....I hope you have a lot of support satya and if you do... use it! but I will say when that trust is destroyed absolutely nothing brings it back!
Sorry for the thread hijack ladies.....:) I am thinking of you Satya if I were you I'd be off White water rafting....Oh wait I am!!!! hahaha! -x-
Oh and maybe I shouldn't use the Mr Brady off the Brady bunch as an example....I meant because he was such the perfect functional Family man(just like my doting Hubby)...NOT that in real life he was a closet Homosexual hahahaha!
Satya-- I’m so sorry you’re going through all this, but I’m glad you are being honest with yourself and thinking through all the angles sooner rather than later. Hang in there. You're in our thoughts!
hello!
firstly satya, i have read your other thread, it really sounds like you have made the right decision regarding your (soon to be ex?) partner.
you are not alone, we are all here to support you and even if now you are not ttc, we still want to talk to you and make sure you are ok:hug:
I know its hard but this can be the beginning of a great new chapter in your life, you deserve the best girl, go find it! try to stay positive, like i said, easy for me to say and harder to do, but you are better off without him and the added crap and stress attatched.
dawnee- i hope you have a fantastic time white water rafting, that really sounds like heaps of fun!!:dance: and the perfect remedy.
lsb- so happy that angus is getting better, that must have been horrid to have to watch your little boy go through that.
kbowman- hope date night goes well tomorrow night, just curious and none of my business really but i will ask anyway, do you work out your o time and try to schedule a date night around that?
Treelo- how are you? are all the pox gone yet?? can you be released from the straight jacket soon?;) i hope everyone in your family is well again and happy.
beaksie- I saw you in the tww, (just snoopin..) fingers crossed and for you too lj.
abig :hello: to charlie, wowzer,jayney and everyone i have missed.
I am soooo bored right now, have been for a walk but i am in pain! seriously considering taking some strong pain killers for these cramps, af has finally visited after teasing for a few days, and its killing me! I never have pain like this.:rolleyes:
oh well, i am just happy that it has come, even though i was half hoping i might have been one of the really fertile ones after a d&C and well........:redface:
there is alwways next month!!;) (trying to be positive!)
wishing you all lots of :bluedust: for this cycle.
xxx
kbowman - :crossfingers: I'm also keeping my fingers crossed for you too! I love the look of your chart.. I feel like I shouldn't be spotting though, because I've got another 4/5 days until AF is due.. IF AF doesn't arrive for me by my due date, do you think I should test?
yes lj, test,test.........
Hi everyone. Just a quick drop in. I got the locks changed today. He will come by over the weekend to get the rest of his stuff and for me to say goodbye to his daughter. That's going to be hard. I think he still thinks things might be able to be retrieved but they just can't. I've had more confirmation today that he was seen with the woman I suspected he'd been with on 3 different occasions recently. He can say all he likes it was a friendship but I don't care - it was all done behind my back. I am done. I deserve better.
You most certainly do Satya, all the very best for your future hun.
SG
xo
Big hugs for you satya. You're absolutely right that you deserve better, and I am so glad to know that you are standing up for that and having the guts to do what's going to promise you a happier and healthier future. I know that it will be hard at times, but we're all here for you anytime you need a talk, a cry, a whinge, anything. Spoil yourself silly. Time to look after number one!
Lots of hugs and chocolate, Lisa xx
The hardest thing about this is that I will probably not get another chance at having a child. I am 41 already. By the time I get over this, date for a while then fall in love again & get far enough along into a relationship to discuss children I will be way too old.
Satya-- It sounds like you've had to make a lot of very tough decisions. I'm very glad you're thinking of yourself. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect, and if that isn't happening...
Might you consider raising a child on your own? If having a child is still really important to you, perhaps you could use a donor. Just a thought. I'm sure you have enough on your mind at the moment without complicating things any further.
Satya- How hard a desision. I think you are a brave woman to set having a child aside and doing what you know is right. You deserve the best. And accepting him doing things in secret would have been a pandora's box. There is no reason nor excuse for him even having a friendship in secret. All that is good and innocent is fine to have broadcast on the Front page of the newspaper. So it is no excuse on his part. About the baby bit. I am so sorry. fortunately, or unfortunately we don't know the future. I hope you still will have the chance but if not it is still better than a life tied to someone who doesn't treasure you. I am sure that someone will see you are worth being respected, treasured and adored. We all see that in you.
satya - my hats off to you! Your a strong woman and I'm sure you'll find someone better :) :hug:
Satya, you are an amazing lady. I really admire your courage, strength & positivity. You do deserve better. What a nightmare you have to live through now. But it will get better and you will be happier in the long run. I am sorry that this will put a halt to your ttc plans. And I know it will be hard for you to come here with your problems, but we are all here for you.
Dawnee Wow, you are one strong lady too. I know what its like to have people ingore a m/c and to have to pretend to be happy. But to have to play happy hostess through it all is awful. How are you doing now?
Lee How's it going? How is the crab apple tree growing? What are you upto ttc wise? You know I bought the wrong thermometer :wall: I'm temping with it anyway. Sheer determination, and it doesn't matter at the moment anyway.
Zionsmum Are you out there? Did AF come? How are you doing?
Me - I went for an MRI scan today. Not sure why, the ppl at the recurrent m/c clinic wouldn't tell me. My oncologist at the mole clinic thought it wasn't necessary. But I think the recurrent m/c clinic think I have a heart shaped uterus (increases m/c risk) and an abnormal abcess in the uterus wall. It wasn't exactly fun though. I'm a bit claustrophobic and started crying when I was inside the machine. Feel like such a wimp!
I'm curled up in a ball at home tonight, just wishing I could start ttc again. And wishing I was pregant still.
Rachael, LizJessie, Kerry, Treelo & everyone else Good luck with your cycles. Hoping we get some BFPs in here soon :crossfingers:
Hi Everyone,
Sorry for being a bit quite lately but everything has been so hectic around here. Everyone is now chicken pox free !!!!! And Cooper's 7th bday party went off perfectly. I have some great photo's that i tried to put in the gallery but it wouldnt work, so if anyone wants to see the crocodile and snakes and turtles and stuff just click on the msn icon and send me an email !!
Yesterday was our 9th Wedding anniversary !! we didnt do any thing special but we did DTD, and it felt weird doing it just for the sake of doing it??? how stupid does that sound !! It was the first time in 3 months we BD when i am not fertile. But we will start on Saturday through to Wednesday and pray for a BFP.
Satya - I am very proud of you, the strength and courage have shown is amazing. You are an amazing woman and I think you have alot of love to give a child. I dont think you should give up hope just yet. If you are determined enough then there are other ways.
Starrysky - Yes the straight jacket is now off !!! although we have a weekend of football presentations and breakup party's so im still a little stressed !!
Pash - I guess at least they are being thourough, but you poor sweet thing, being in one of those horrible things.
LJ - Have you tested yet?
littlescottishboy - Hi hun, how you doin?? hugs to you
Shoegal - wow look at your ticker !!! 10 weeks !!! so happy for you sweety !!
mammal, pash and everyone else - i hope you all doing well, hugs to you all.
take care everyone
treelo
Satya - sorry to hear what you are going through but you have to think about your future - I really admire the decisions you are making. As someone else suggested, once the dust settles you could always think about having a baby on your own. So many women do it today & you sound as though you have the guts & determination that would be required. I hope only good things happen for you now. Big hugs.....
Hi everyone!
Just catching up with all the posts I missed...
satya you are such a strong person for breaking sharing what has been going on; I really really hope things work out the best for you and your dreams. Look at Halle Berry, she was married twice and is now pregnant at 41 to her partner :)
pash I may have missed this but did you find out for sure if it was a molar pregnancy? An MRI would freak me out too... just seeing them on TV is creepy enough for me. Glad it's over for you now, what's the next step?
treelo Congrats on your anniversary! It will be our 7th later this year, time flies eh?? Glad the party went well, sounds like a lot of fun :)
kbowman I just checked your chart, looks good!! Hope this is your month!! It's been a while since we had a run of BFP. Please start off another one ;)
Hi everyone else... so much to catch up on and this week has been so mega busy for me at work. We have booked a big trip overseas in Nov/Dec... I was initially not wanting to make any decisions until I knew if I was pg or not but I can't spend my whole life in limbo waiting so I will cross that bridge if/when i come to it. Plus I don't want to sit and home and think about the fact that this was supposed to be the start of my maternity leave.
Hope your week is going well :)
treelo - love your avvy :P
No I haven't tested yet - probably won't test until the weekend!
lol....its very me !!!
well let us know when you do !!!!!
hugs
treelo
Satya: Good for you it's not easy making this decision.....we are here if you need to chat,also what about a Donor? my sister has had children via a donor it's not that uncommon.
Pash: I think people think I am stronger than I am because I don't show what I am feeling.....I must admit when the last visitor left on Monday apart from the Relief.....I started to feel quite Down and then the overwhelming urge to run away hit me hence I am going to Cairns next week to try "White Water Rafting" because I have always wanted to......can't say I feel terribly rational at the moment? hahaha hey but I'll switch off for a couple of days at least :)
Hi to everyone else Goodluck at whatever stages in your cycles you are at!!!
Dawnee, way to go with white water rafting!! Everyone I've ever heard talk about it has just loved the experience. Have fun in Cairns.
Yes, love the new avatar, Treelo! Gorgeous!
Thanks, Kiwigirl and LizJessie. My chart would be far more promising if I'd managed to get a Date Night bd in before O instead of the day after :rolleyes: Always next month, hey.
Kiwigirl, that o/s holiday sounds fabulous!! I wanna overseas holiday toooooo. And I don't even want to think what I'm going to be like if I'm not pg by what should have been my November EDD. Begging for BB comfort hugs, no doubt.
Liz, I'd be trying an OPK right now to see whether that comes up with a second line. Worth a peek. And a HPT in a couple of days. Good luck, sweetie!!!
*Hugs* Pash. Sounds like a scary experience. Hope you'll be able to kickstart the TTC journey again soon. When do you get the results from the MRI? :hug:
Satya, don't give up hope about having a baby. Once you get your current situation sorted then you can start looking properly at all your options.
*twiddles thumbs* I'm on the TWW for AF and time is dragging. Hope next cycle is more exciting!
kbowman - Unfortunately I don't have any OPKs (actually I do, but they fell down behind the dresser and the TV and DVD are resting on top of that and they're all too heavy to move on my own) but I will be doing a HPT on Monday if AF hasn't arrived
Satya - I am so sorry to hear about you and your DF :( But it sounds like you are doing what is best for you and good on you for being brave enough to do it. You are right - you do deserve better. Take it easy on yourself, and as everyone else has said, don't give up on your hopes of having a child - you never know what might be around the corner!
Dawnee - I am so sorry for your loss :( Take care of yourself and enjoy the rafting!
Hi to everyone else :) and here's to heaps of BFPs happening really soon!!
Hi everyone sorry for the lack of personals but it's been a hard day.
Pash - the MRI didn't sound very nice at all. Did they offer you a sedative? They should've.
My ex MIL just left my house. She has emptied my ex's daughter's room out. It looks so bare. It makes me feel so sad. I have stuff all over my house at the moment, stuff to throw out, stuff to give to the opshop, heaps of his stuff still here.
I keep finding cards and notes from him everywhere. He used to be such a romantic and he'd leave them for me all the time. It's killing me finding them.
He's demanding money from me and he broke my mobile so I'll have to replace it as it keeps turning off.
I now know without doubt that he has a girlfriend. She was seen by a joint friend last Thursday night driving my car. Yes you have that correct MY car. I just want to rip his head off, it's a very nice car and I only allowed him to drive it....no one else. The friend asked why there was a strange woman in my car and he was told that we'd split up several weeks ago and he was now seeing her. He didn't want to interfere and just believed him so when he heard today that we only broke up on the weekend he rang me and told me what had happened. The friend never realised the car was mine, he thought it was his so it didn't click until today. He's still denying he's seeing this woman.
I just can't believe that things are ending this way....but they are. I just want everything gone from the house so I can never have to see him ever again.
Hi there!
I just joined since I really need some support- not many people understand the fears of being pregnant again after losing babies!
I have had 3 miscs, and now finally have plucked up the courage to try again!
Went to a specialist Obstetrician and had all the tests done, he discovered a septum in my uterus, and I had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy and now am finally trying. Started Clomid 5mg today!
To say I am terrified of being pregnant again is an understatement, since I have this fear of something going wrong again!
But " deep breath", I have to get over it! Hope to hear from the ladies here!
Ladies,
I has to be time for someone to have some BFP's. It should be US!
Satya- Sometimes you can't even believe the situations we get into. At 23 I was dating a 40 year old man who was cheating on me with a younger woman. Now I can just laugh I guess I wasn't young enough. At the time difficult experiences are awful. I hope one day you can look back on this and shake your head and laugh.
Time for a new thread :) here you go.