When to TTC?

[Heaven]

I had a natural m/c a couple of weeks ago after I started spotting and a u/s showed the baby didn't have a heartbeat. About a week later I started to m/c.
So... the Dr said when I first saw her that I should wait until after my first normal AF to start TTC again. Then when I talked to her again she said wait until I've had 2 periods. No, I don't think so.

I've been looking around for threads about how long and why you have to wait...but I have only found a few things and it seems like everyone's a little confused like me about why exactly you have to wait. My Dr said that there's a .01% increased chance of m/c if you get pregnant straight away b/c the lining of the uterus hasn't had time to build up again. But through all my googling I haven't found that mentioned anywhere. Is this right? I've seen it mentioned that the Drs actually like you to wait b/c it's easier to date the pregnancy and for emotional reasons.

I really want to start TTC straight away but I don't want another m/c of course. I just think, won't my body know what's right? If it's not ready to be pregnant again won't it just not happen? We have been DTD without contraception lately but I don't expect to be ovulating yet anyway so that's not really a big deal but I'm trying to decide if I should use contraception when I'm ovulating this time or not. I can't stand the waiting, I just want a baby. I want to look to the future but not TTC keeps me stuck thinking about the m/c. But I don't want to risk another m/c so does anyone actually know if there's a medical reason for waiting or know of any studies I can read?

Well, that was rather long, i hope I got my question across, lol.
Thanks guys.

[Heaven]

OR also if anyone can tell me where a thread is with the answer?? lol.
I had a search but I couldn't really find the exact information or a thread on it (I must be blind because I'm sure there's one somewhere), it was just mentioned a bit in a few threads.

[cheekyfrog]

SaraJane, I don't think there's a hard and fast rule. Women fall pregnant successfully in the first cycle after m/c and go on to have their babies. I waited until AF returned before starting TTC and it still took a number of cycles for me to fall pregnant.

After my last m/c, which was a missed m/c at 11 and a half weeks, the obstetrician who performed the D&C told me to "get back on the horse" as soon as I wanted, while my GP advised me to wait until after my AF had returned before dtd without contraception. I was emotionally very raw anyway and I asked to be prescribed Zoloft anti-depressants which I took for a few months until I felt I was able to manage. It took over 8 weeks before AF returned for me (I started using OPKs after 5-6 weeks and temping to see if I could work out what my body was up to!) and then five or six cycles before I was able to fall pregnant again.

After the first m/c which was a blighted ovum, I m/c naturally and AF returned quite quickly. But it took some time for the hormone levels to come back down.

I too have heard that allowing AF to return means that your lining is able to thicken up to allow good implantation. I think it helps to start TTC-ing when you're emotionally ready and only you can know when that is. I waited a cycle both times and falling pregnant again didn't happen straight away anyway.

Good luck with your TTC journey!!

And the Waiting for AF after M/C thread was a Godsend for me!! It really helped so much.

[Heaven]

Thankyou Kerry!
I feel like I'm ready to start TTC again and waiting would be the hardest part. Actively trying NOT to get pregnanct after I have been trying for so long is too hard!!
If I had a D&C I think i might wait b/c they scrape all of the lining away or something?? That's what I've heard anyway but because I just had a natural miscarriage I just tend to think my body will do what is right, if it's too early to get pregnant again then it won't let me. Also, I always take so long to ovulate that I don't expect it to happen for a bit so maybe that would mean extra time for the lining to build up anyway rather than if I ovulated at 14dpo which would only be like 5 days after the bleeding stopped or something. Don't know if that makes any sense or even if it's right.
Thankyou for your support!! I think this cycle I'll just see what happens, dtd whenever we want and not stress and if it happens then it's meant to be but if not then I'll be back to all the TTC crazyness next cycle.

[joey123]

Hi SaraJane,

I can't believe what you have just written. It's like I'm talking to myself. EVERYTHING you have just written in exactly what I want to know!! I don't want to wait before TTC and I too agree that your body should know what it's doing. Did you have any luck finding out any answers?? I also noticed your ticker ... Your 6 weeks pregnant? Well done!!! Please tell me when you got your BFP.

I mc at 5.5 weeks (2 weeks ago) and I am in 2 minds about whether we should wait or TTC now.

Can't wait to hear from you,
Joey

[Gabi]

Ho joey,

I got told so many different things by so many doctors. In the end I came to the conclusion that, as SaraJane mentioned, they think you should wait for a combination of emotional reasons and in order to make dating a second pregnancy easier. Waiting to ttc after miscarriage is so hard, I remember how hard it was waiting for my fertility to return after my first! So after my second miscarriage I was told all the same different things again and my husband and I decided to try again straight away anyway. We had been waiting too long. We conceived immediately. I'm now 40+ weeks pregnant. No one told me off for conceiving again so quickly, and we dated the pregnancy by scan (though I knew when I'd ovulated as well).

Pregnancy after miscarriage is hard, and it's important to make sure you grieve properly regardless of whether you conceive again soon or not. I didn't deal with my second miscarriage properly because of some things which were going on in my life at the time (not just the new pregnancy) and it came back to bite me. Take time for the baby you lost - but there's no reason why you can't do that while pregnant with a new little one.

[joey123]

Thanks so much Gabi. That's just what I wanted to hear. 40+ weeks? WOW you must be so excited!! Congrulations!!!

[Gabi]

Thanks joey. I hope it happens as quickly for you as it did for me.

[joey123]

Gabi,

When yuo said you conceived straight away, do you been before you had AF? I MC just over 2 weeks ago, and wondering if i might conceive sometime this week or next, depending on when i O. Is that what happened for you?

[Gabi]

Gabi,

When yuo said you conceived straight away, do you been before you had AF? I MC just over 2 weeks ago, and wondering if i might conceive sometime this week or next, depending on when i O. Is that what happened for you?

Yeah, that's what happened to me. My miscarriage was incomplete for a couple of weeks, so I started to get fertile a day or two after the last of my spotting (from the m/c). I went to the doctors and had an ultrasound to confirm that the miscarriage was complete and then...conceived that day. This is my second pregnancy since my last period.

[mustangcassie]

Hi, i'm new. Just thought i'd reply.

I had a missed m/c at 12 weeks and had a dc friday 13 june 08. My Dr, (who is really good and no BS) and the specialist that performed my D&C said that if you ask 3 different Drs you'll get 3 different answers. wait one cycle, wait 3 or start as soon as you've stopped bleeding.

They both said you must wait at least 2 weeks to avoid infection but as soon as you're emotionally ready, you cans tart to try. They both also said that there has never been any documented proof of increasing your chances of M/C by waiting 3 weeks or waiting 3 months. It's just so they can date it.

I think that if you are tracking your ovulation in any way, it shouldn't matter. As long as your head and your heart can deal with it.

12 wks.

I know I just want to be preg again asap.

[Heaven]

Sorry Joey, I haven't had the internet for ages!! I conceived straight away before my first AF and am now 9 weeks, no problems so far
I just think my body wouldn't happen if it wasn't ready!

[joey123]

SaraJane - Thanks for your response. I am hoping that is what will happen with me. I have a very feint line on my HPT. I keep doing them, and they aren't getting any darker. This mornings was even lighter, and a different brand that I did this arvo was also lighter than one I did 3 days ago of that brand, it may have even been non-existent. I don't know if I am imagining it or not.

I really want to get a BFP. I hope my line doesn't go away