Trying to Conceive after Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth ~ March 09

Congratulations Helen on the birth of your little boy Mitchell :loveshower:!!! Welcome to the world little man :hooray:!!!!
I hope he is home soon with his mummy, daddy & big brother.

All my love and big hugs to you all

Beata xxx

congratulation helen on the birth of mitchell. Hope he is home with his family soon

Hi lovely ladies

Sorry I have been MIA. I haven't been feeling the best and had some follow-up b/ts last week. It turns out I am borderline anaemic again with my level at 28 and should be up around 70 or 80 like it was when I fell pg. I have also been trying to shrug off a sore throat and cold which has been hanging around for a few days now. It seems I just can't catch a break. And to make this cycle more interesting, FF reckons that I o'd on CD10 which I wasn't expecting. Luckily we had got a few BDs in beforehand but I am not sure how we will go with my health and energy levels so low. But having said that I have felt the strangest little tugs and nibbling sensations - that's the best I can describe it. So I am not sure if I am pg or it is just my uterus returning to normal size. Did anyone else feel that way? I have resisted temptation to POAS even though I have some of the early detection tests, as I know it will just make me feel sad when I get a BFN. So I am waiting and hoping and trying not to obsess over my sore BBs and weird feelings.

Anyway, enough about me... just wanted to pop in and catch up on everyone.

Helen - congratulations on the safe arrival of little Mitchell :dance: I hope you get to take him home very soon. Rest up while you can!

Diana - glad to hear the stich went well. It sounds like you have a super OB helping you this time. I am sure you'll be holding your happy and healthy earth baby soon enough!

Dee - sorry about the BFN. A break sounds like a good idea, both for your body and your emotional self. Enjoy the TTC naturally :D

Berry - good luck in your TWW (for both of us :pray:)

Blessedatlast - welcome to our thread. I hope that your TTC journey is a short one this time around. How's the new job going?

Bec - I know what you mean about finding others who have been through similar experiences. My chiro shared a sad story he had about a loss of his child. I feel like he understands me more now and that provides me with some comfort. I hope you can find some comfort in your circumstances as well. And I have a quick question - does a temp drop after ovualtionn mean a progestore problem? I had a temp drop at CD18 with ovulation at CD10 according to FF. My temp has stayed up since then but not as high as the first few days after ovualtion. Any thoughts?

A big :hello: to everyone else and sending lots of :bluedust::pink-babydust:

Take care all,
Cherylxo

Hello beautiful girls,

Dee, I am sorry for your BFN. I hope and pray for a BFP for you soon naturally! :pray:

Diana, I'm glad your stitch went in without a hitch. Sorry about those pills you have to take every month, but just think about the end result hun, it's all worth it!

Theresa, wow, 23 already! How time just seem to go so fast. I'm glad all is going well hunni, and hope the next 3 months go even faster for you :pray:

Megan, I hope and pray for a sticky one this cycle, oh God please let it be :pray: Maybe those natural tablets you're taking are doing their job as I'm sure you're on the right track!

Bec, big hugs to you hun :hug: I wish I could take those 'down days' away for you. I'm having a few of my own lately, and sometimes I just can't shake them off. I too wish our grieving could be sped up but it has to take its course, and I still believe deep down that I'll never stop grieving. I'm just learning to live with it :(

Blessedatlast, welcome to our thread. I too read about your little angels, I am so sorry you have lost them. They are just so beautiful.
I am glad you've decided to TTC, it's also where I am at too, but I'm fiding it difficult to let go of Joshua and begin a new journey.

Cindee, I'm so happy that Miranda is doing so well, well done hun!

Cherryl, I'm praying for you that those 'pulling' sensations are implantation pains. I so pray they are hun!! I would just love to see another BFP here soon :pray:

Teagz & Nae, I have been lurking in your thread, glad you're both doing well xx

Jo, can't believe Kaitlyn is almost 6 weeks...wow! Hope you're still enjoying your babymoon.

Again, congrats Helen on your precious little Mitchell. Well done sweetheart!

Big hello to anyone I have missed :grouphug:

Not much from me to report, 2 girls pg now at work. Struggling with that ATM, it's so different when I'm talking to you girls who are UTD on BB and have been through a late loss, but actually seeing someone UTD in person everyday at work is such a different story......sorry to be a whiny poo, it's just it's the first time for me since my loss and boy, is it HARD....

Love to all
B xxxxxx

Just a quick one to give a HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to Helen, what wonderful news, welcome little Mitchell :dance: :loveshower: I hope that the breathing sorts itself out really quickly and he is home with you in know time Helen.

Beata, I have been thinking about you lately. I hope you are doing ok hun. It must be a bit 'strange' if that's the word coming up to the transfer after waiting for so long and missing Joshua. Seeing pg women at work is also hard, I can relate to that, it feels like every second person at my work is pg or their wife is! Look after yourself and know that it will be so worth it when you get to hold your longed for earth baby. You'll never forget your little man but you also deserve the joy of being a mother to an earth baby as well, and what a wonderful one you will make :hug:

More personals tomorrow. have a great week everyone.

Hi all,

Beata, that is so hard. I know lots of pregnant women at the moment and I'm not really happy for them like I once would have been. The sadness for me gets in the way too much. I also feel differently when people who've experienced a loss are pregnant - it seems ok then!

Cheryl, sorry to hear you've been unwell. Hope you finally shake the cold and get some energy back. If your temps dip below the coverline after ovulation (but before AF) then you could have too little progesterone. You are welcome to look at my stuffed up cycles :D
They are at 1c90ce Ovulation Charts
April 24 2009 cycle I had a dip and spotting; march 29 2009 just spotting; Feb 3 2009 just dips; April 7 2008 dips and spotting. Though if it makes you feel better the very next month (May 2 2008) was Luca's cycle when I conceived with him :p
Of course it could also be an implantation dip that you had :pray:

Helen, congrats on the safe arrival of Mitchell!

xx Bec.

CONGRATULATIONS HELEN and welcome to the world little Mitchell :dance: I'm so sorry to hear he is still in the hospital but I hope he gets comes home soon fit and healthy. I am so very happy for you and your family - and what an inspiration for me with the whole stitch thing!

Hi :hello: everyone

I have been off work for 2 days now and I can't get onto my lifeline BB! Thank goodness it is up now!

Beata - I know what you mean about pg women at work. There are two women who work in the area beside me (we're in an open plan office) who are pg and several others who work in my building. I thought that by going back to work it would help take my mind off everything but it's the reverse at the moment. I guess I'll have to work out how to deal with this. And thanks for your good wishes - you made me cry :D

Bec - thanks for the info on the temp drop. I have been doing a bit of reading but haven't found a definite answer, only the maybes that you raised. I will talk to my TCM lady about my progesterone levels.

AFM, I'm at home with a headache, sore throat and cough feeling like cr*p! I resisted temptation to POAS yesterday. With my current physical health I don't see how I could sustain a baby at the moment so I am resigned to the fact that AF will arrive on the weekend. :(

Anyway, time to head back to the couch and rest.
Take care all
xo

Hello ladies,

Cheryl, I hope you are feeling better.

Helen, I hope little Mitchell is well and has been able to come home with you by now.

I got Jasmine's autopsy results today. They confirmed that she had a significant heart problem and the geneticist said with that problem alone she would have unlikely survived at birth full term. Her lungs were 1/3 of the normal size they should have been, so there would have been breathing problems and there was too much fluid around the brain which they believe indicates she would have had moderate 'learning problems', by moderate they mean like down syndrome, so quite 'severe' in my mind. He said with all of that combined she wouldn't have survived at full term. It gives me peace that we made the right decision. For those that don't know my DH & I had to make the agonising decision to terminate the pg. As painful as that was, I don't think I could have handled carring her to full-term knowing she was unlikely to survive at birth or live a couple of days in pain, how awful. There was a chromosome abnormality in 70% of her cells causing all of these problems. From all the info they have it looks unlikely it will happen again, but I'll still be a nervous wreck when pg again. All in all, closure for me in a lot of ways. It does make me feel very sad though, the poor little thing, I wish this never happened to her :(

Oh Berry

What bittersweet information from the autopsy result. To at least know that you and DH made the right decision for your own peace of mind is hopefully some comfort. Like you, we couldn't bear the thought of carrying Ryan to full term knowing that if he made it that far that his days with us would be in great pain, and likely short. We decided that it was better that the pain be ours not his. There is no easy decision in all of this and until someone has walked in our shoes they cannot judge. Thinking of you and DH at this time :hug: and hoping you get your earth baby very soon. :pray:

Cherylxo

Thank you for your kind words Cheryl :hug:, it's great to have someone else to talk to who had to go through the same thing. I liked your words "We decided that it was better that the pain be ours not his". This is how I also felt. Have you thought about whether you will get a CVS next pg? I have been thinking about this a lot and have swayed both sides. After hearing how bad her condition was, it made me think that I probably should get a CVS done next time in case it, or something similar happens again. I'm not sure if you had one done with Ryan, but I find them quite awful, I also had an amnio, and don't like the risk of miscarriage the procedure has (1%), but I guess its better to know early rather than later if there is a problem. I pray that we and the other ttc'ers receive a lovely and healthy BFP soon.

Megan, I'm sending you big hugs sweetie :hug:, I'm so sorry you've had to be put in that awful situation with Jasmine, having to make such an agonising decision of which way to go. I'm sure that your heart was torn to bits, not wanting to have to decide which way to go. I'm so sorry hunni :comfort:.
I guess now having Jasmine's results has put your mind at ease that you have made the right decision by your little girl, and I can understand when you say that it's still sad that it happened to her. Although Josh was ok, I still feel really sad that that stupid fibroid pushed him out when he was so comfy and happy in there, it just isn't fair. He didn't deserve what happened to him, and I really feel like my body has really let him down.
Thinking of you hun, and praying so very hard that you don't have to wait long for your precious earth baby. I'm sure Jasmine can't wait either.
Love always
B xxxxxxxx

Hi ladies

Just popped in to post that I got a very feint BFP this afternoon :o - even DH can see it! I'm CD28 and while FF told me that I ovulated very early (CD10) it also gave us a high chance of falling pg, but then my temps dipped at CD18 and stayed down. Soon after that FF took away my coverline and O day... so I stopped temping a few days later. With my virus, low iron levels, and hot flashes at night with disrupted sleep I really didn't think that the temps where accurate anyway. But here I am. I did POAS a few days ago but was a BFN so I thought that was it... only had to wait for AF to arrive. But no AF symptoms yet, still getting weird butterfly and tugging sensations... so maybe this our BFP already?

I so don't want us to get our hopes up, but I really hope :pray: that it's true. :pray: These are new POAS tests that I got from the discount pharmacy so don't know how sensitive they are, even though they say they can detect a pg at 7-10 days post conception... boy am I rambling!

So if AF doesn't arrive overnight maybe I will work up the courage to POAS in the morning, but this time it will be a different type, from the supermarket, the same brand that I used when we found out I was pg with Ryan.

Ok, breathing normally now... Hope everyone is doing well, and sending lots of :stickyvibesgirl::stickyvibesboy: and :bluedust::pink-babydust: to all

Cherylxo

Cheryl, that is wonderful news, I am so pleased for you, I really pray :pray: also that this is it and you get a lovely, beautiful & sticky confirmed BFP soon! As your HCG? levels are higher in the morning, it would be worth testing again then, I doubt you'd be able to hold yourself back - lol! You really deserve this hun, with how long things have taken for you in the past & all you have been through. I will be praying for you tonight. :hug: Try and sleep well.

Thanks Berry - you're such a gem! :hug:

I had to disappear off for dinner - roast rack of lamb with all of the trimmings, yum! So I didn't get a chance to answer your question about CVS. DH and I have talked about what testing we might do in the future. Even now we are in two minds. While I didn't enjoy the amnio at all, in the end the whole procedure wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Regarding the risks, we really need to see the results of the NT scan and b/t before we would make any decision, and I would be hoping and praying like crazy we got a great result and therefore the decision was relatively easy - no more testing! The 1% risk you speak of for amnio and the 2% risk for CVS does seem to be old information at least here in Canberra. According to two obs, the Fetal Medicine Unit at the public hospital here has a rate of about 1 in 700 for both procedures. Apparently it has been several years since a miscarriage was recorded from the procedures done by them. Obviously it does depend on where you go, but my new ob was very confident of the low risk invovled, even for CVS. But there is still that risk, and as you and I both know, numbers mean nothing if you are the "one". Sometimes I think it is better to know earlier rather than later at the 20 week scan, although some problems such as Downs are not necessarily detected then. One ob told me she recently did a 20 week scan on a baby that was known to have Downs (from an amnio) and she could not see any difference in the baby, and she's very experienced. So I guess we will have to cross that bridge when we come to it. Not sure if any of that helps you... it's a tough one.

Take care and talk to you again soon.
Cherylxo

Cheryl, I pray it's a BFP for you sweets, I have everthing crossed for you! I hope and pray AF stays away hun :pray::pray::pray: It would be sooooo lovely to get a BFP in here, it's been so quiet! Praying very hard.....:pray::pray::pray:

Hi ladies

Well I mustered up the courage to POAS again and it was a BFN. Still no AF. I really don't know what is going on with my body. Physically and mentally I am exhausted. I feel like I was going well until about 3 weeks ago and then it all went south. I am supposed to return to full time work next week. I couldn't even face going to work today - exhausted from no sleep and a constant headache that doesn't seem to budge with panadol or codiene and I don't want to take anything else. I feel so sad and lonely, full of despair. I worry that I will never be able to fall pg again. I can't imagine my life without a child. Sorry, having a really down day. Thanks to all who wished me well with out phantom BFP, maybe next cycle, whenever that happens!

Take care all,
Cheryl xo

Oh Cheryl... :comfort: I am sorry my darling... :hug: I hated that rollercoaster of POAS - the disappointment and the pain. I am just so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this... :hug: Just know we are all here to support you - keep the faith. Keep believing - picture your Earth baby in your arms. Sending you loving support darling woman... :hug:

It's time for a new thread - you will find it HERE