Trying to Conceive after Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth ~ March 09

hello to you you lovely ladies i am back.

okay we have done another fet and blood test is this friday so only a few more days to wait until we know. this transfer was a day four this is the first time we have done this so hopefully fingers crossed all will be good.
welcome to chez67 i am so sorry for your loss but as all the girls have said all the ladies in here are beautiful people. congrats to joselyn hope you have a wonderful 9months.
Berry thank-you very much for your concern
big hi to beata and teagz hope all is going well and also nae it is so good to hear everything is going well.

Well girls i had a pretty difficult couple of weeks ever since i had chloe dh family has been very cold towards me and always making little remarks about me not being in brisbane when i went into labour and going through all the what ifs which dh and i told them we weren't going to do, anyway i thought that i was doing really well untill dh sister and mother both had a little dig at me about doing ivf again and what if the same thing happens, i was a bit stunned i thought they would be happy that we are trying again but No so everything that i had been ignoring finally came to a head and i ended up having a go at dh about it all and bought up remarks that they made at the funeral and how i felt that they blamed me for chloe passing away. To top this all off dh has a 14yr daughter from a previous realationship she and i have never really got a long, and she had many emotional issue's that she needs to work on towards her father and myself well she sent me a lovely e-mails saying that i took away her chance of having a little sister and because i wont send her any photo's (decision made by dh and myself) of chloe i am not giving her the right to even remember that she had a sister, this really sent me over the edge and i just really had to have a bit of a break away from the internet and all the emotional stress. but have spent a lot of time chatting with dh about the way i feel and am feeling a lot better now. sorry for the really long rave but it feels better now that it is all out

Berry, AF used to be all over the show for me. Infact, I've POAS more times than I would care to mention XD Now I have a 26 day cycle. I have read that pregnancy clears alot of those dramas up for some people.

NaeNae :hug: Happy Easter chick! We didn't do the easter thing AT ALL, cos I'm horrible XD

Hi chookies,

I'm stuck at work today and tomorrow, but my work is closed this week (ie no production and almost 95% of people are away this week). I'm taking turns with another girl answering the phone...yeepee ;)

First of all, Dee I am so sorry you're so stressed dealing with your DH's family. What are they thinkng?????!!!! Don't they realize you are hurting so much because your little girl isn't here like she was supposed to be, and you'd do anything to have her back?? I just don't understand the mentality of some people. Is is so hard to get a bit of support here???? I think they have very big issues themselves which they need to work out. I can partly understand the lack of support as I had/have issues with my own mum, but she never had any negative comments about IVF, she is so excited that we're trying again in June. She just wasn't very supportive towards us when we lost Joshua, as she was just interested in us moving forward (and forgetting about Josh) and having another go so she could ba a grandmother.
Dee, unfortunately some people are pretty ignorant about certain things (such as IVF) and they think if we tried really realy hard, we'd get pg naturally. Well, I wish this was the case, but sometimes it's just not. Some of us really need this treatment to have a baby.
My advice for you would be to just ignore their comments as they are very hurtful and you don't need any more stress while undergoing IVF. As for your DH's daughter, maybe she was looking forward to having a brother or sister and she's just sad that she didn't get that chance of having a sibling. Maybe have a good chat to her and tell her exactly how you feel. Big hugs hunny, and pleeeeeese don't stress about them all. You look after yourself first and foremost, as that is the most important thing. I wish you soooo much good luck for Friday hun. I truly hope and :pray: very hard that this is the one!!!!
I'm :pray: so hard for a BFP for you hun!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!!!

Megan, my cycles after Joshua were the same (29 days) except the last cycle which was only 27 days. I very rarely have a shorter cycle, so maybe this was one of them. I wish mine were shorter like yours too!! It's O time for me ATM so for the first time in months I'm really TTC hard naturally. Oh well, it could happen!!!!! Anything can happen (my new motto is NEVER SAY NEVER!). I would be stoked if you got pg on your next cycle hun, especially that you'll really give it a good go. Oh, let it be!!!!!:pray:

Jas, I'm so glad m/s is wearing off. But I also understand your anxiety as it's probably better to feel 'off' so you know you're definitely UTD!!! all the best sweetie, just reading your last couple of posts you seem a lot more happier and positive which is great!!!

Teagz, I want you to have the best holiday!!! You just need to be on stand by, that's all!! ha ha. I hope you come back knocked up lovie!!!! :pray:

Nae, sending you lots of nice big sticky vibes and big big hugs. My easter was a bit average too, I kept thinking if Joshua was here he'd be wearing the biggest set of bunny ears I could find! Just missed my little darling :(

Diana, let us know you're OK! You must have slowed down a bit by now surely???? Hope all is good at your end.

Cheryl, I hope you've had a nice little break :p

Hi to all my other lovely friends, big hugs to everyone :grouphug:

B xxxx

Well get ready for it...
This morning I woke up with a cold! and, i'm trying to decide if i'm going to get hit with thrush again -.-; Bah!!
I went to see my naturopath today though who has supplied me with a stronger dose of herbs and she thinks it should really hit it on the head. Fingers crossed. But, I explained to her that have AF I get a dry feeling down there, and then thrush seems to come a couple of days after that feeling. So she thinks I have low oestrogen levels(which supposedly makes everything down there moist(I hate that word!), she then compared me to how this happens to people who are premenopausal. GREAT! Although she assured me that's not the case with me, but still is a bit of a :o moment) and because it's dry when I do things (like walk, etc) it's rubbing against itself and making abrasions and then bacteria gets in there and causing thrush. So. Now I need to get all my hormone levels tested 2 days into AF. I'm telling you girls this because you're all smart cookies and I know squat about hormones! I feel like I'm banging my head on a brick wall. AND THEN, we DTD last night and ran out of condoms, and I'm only CD 8 so I thought I'd be fairly safe but no, I was faced with huge amounts of EWCM this morning and now I don't know whether to start these herbs or not, and I was a little reluctant to mention it to her because he gives this "im disapointed" look out. But anyway, I'll stop whining now!

Beata, I had a play on my phone last night and I can get to BB from it (yay!) which is a bonus for me as well because I was pretty sure that I'd get pretty hefty withdrawals - If all elsed had failed I was going to see who here had facebook, and stalk you that way!
Did I see down there you are starting to TTC naturally for a bit? That is so great! and so great that your little body is Oing and everything. Eep! I'm so excited! never say never for sure! I hope you get a little surprise for mothers day ;) Crossing all my digits! :hug:

Dee, sorry hun but I say stuff 'em. They need to realise you're aware of what can go wrong and you don't need them around to make you focus more on those negitive outcomes, you need them for support and to help you stay positive. I'd be telling them that to, if I were you.

Jos, that's great about the US, I think I have commented on them before. BUt still, how nice to see your little bubby every 2 weeks!

Erk, I need to go lay down. My nose is so blocked my eye is throbbing from all the pressure. Yum! I will be back later hopefully

love you all! xx

Oh hunni, that stupid cold! I hate when I get it too! Runny nose, sore throat, aches and pains, yuck yuck and more yuck!!!! I hope it goes away soon hun. Hopefully the herbs will help, so far they've made you feel heaps better.
And stay away ugly thrush!!!!!!! Sending you lots of healing energy and I :pray: you're back to your cheery self soon.
:heartbeat: B xxx

lol thanks beata, i'm a strong chook. I just like to whine alot XD :hug:

Hi my darling girls

Do you believe this is the first time I've had a chance to log on and check up on you all !
It's madness at work atm. One more week left of this event then I can have a day off - it means I have worked 4 weeks straight now with only one day off!

I was thinking of Tildy this morning and I wanted to see if there was any announcement and was also wondering how Jo went with her stitch removal... ouch.

Sorry I don't have time to catch up on all the goss but just wanted to pop in and say HI and I think of you all, always.

Come on BFPs... and big hugs to our mammas.

Hugs and big kisses and I will catch up properly soon x

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I was thinking of Tildy this morning and I wanted to see if there was any announcement and was also wondering how Jo went with her stitch removal... ouch.

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Nope. :( The doc swept my membranes on Monday and still nothing. She says the nasty cold can be keeping me from going into labor, though I was already dialated 2 fingers. But the cold isn't letting up, and Friday's most likely induction is fast approaching. I'll let you all know how it feels to have an induced birth while not able to breathe... :doh:

Tildy, all the best for kebab's arrival, I really hope everything goes well and little bubs arrives safely.

Hi Diana, nice to see your ticker! Take care of yourself women, working 4-weeks straight is madness, what is your workplace doing? Make sure you get the rest you need.

Teagz, I hope you are feeling better. I have had a cold myself since Monday night. Hopefully it goes away for the weekend ;)

Beata, I really pray that you get a miracle baby this month, how amazing would that be. I'm with you, never say never. :pray:

Dee, your situation sounds quite stressful. My view is that you should confront the sister & MIL, it seems that they know they can now make these comments and that you won't react. The comments are ridiculous and they need to realise this, not to mention cruel. If they comment again about you doing IVF, then ask them what you should do then, because the alternative is not having kids at all!!! Dee, don't let them get away with making you feel like losing Chloe is your fault, you really need to stand your ground with them. These people are your family now whether you like it or not (sorry about that ;)) so I think its best that you have it out rather than get angry and frustrated to yourself or your DH. Sorry for the ranting, that type of situation really annoys me. I do think you can defend yourself in a nice way, but let them know they can't continue to treat you like that.

On a more positive note Dee, I really pray that the blood test shows a BFP tomorrow. Sending all the positive vibes I can to you. :pray:

Looking forwards to the weekend. Hope everyone is well.

Morning Girls!

DD, firstly. How the HECK do you do THAT! I struggle working 5 days in a row with 2 days off inbetween. UGH! You deserve a well earned weekend and mucho pampering, honey. xx

Tildy, aww, fashionaly late huh? hehe, It'll happen! (If it hasn't already!) I'll be sending some ..breaking water vibes? over the weekend! ;)

Berry, Hello lovee :hug: I hope you feel better as well! It's not fun being sick that's for sure.

Beata :hug: for you too. Not long now! I think we're hitting the 40's in our countdown now. 45 Days? Woohoo!

AFM, nope. This cold won't let up. Humph. I'm dosed up on codral cold &flu tabs atm and feel a little spaced out. Ha! Thrush didn't come (YAAAAAYYY!!! I am a free woman at last!) So i've been able to actually enjoy practicing the BD. Hehe. Such a relief. This is the first month after AF (and after having my D&C in Dec) that I haven't gotten it (touch wood). I should throw a party in it's honour.

I hope all you beautiful ladies have an excellent weekend :heartbeat:

Hi lovely ladies

I hope everyone is enjoying their autumn weekend!

Dee - I was thinking of you yesterday - hope your b/t went well and am sending lots of :pray: for a BFP! And I agree with Berry, you need to stand your ground with your family and ask them to give you understanding and support. They should be able to respect your and DH's feelings and that doing IVF is not out of choice. I too have been told, and continue to be told by supposed well meaning people that we just need to relax to fall pg! It has to be the most useless old wives tale ever told! Remember that we understand are here to support you, even if your family doesn't!

Jas - hope you're feeling ok and I understand what you mean about the ms coming and going. We don't want it to come but when it goes we want it back to reassure that all is ok. Hope your doing well.

Teagz - vaginal dryness can be caused by lots of over the counter medications as well as being an hormonal issue. I'm not an expert but I have read that things like anti-inflammitories and anti-histamines (which might be in your Codral meds) and some cough mixtures are all culprits in this regard. My motto has been not to take anything other than panadol, and only then when I absolutely have to. Things like neurofen are also really bad for egg quality, although I only found this out about 18 months ago, and according to my FS since our bodies 'select' the eggs about 8 months before ovulation, it can take a long time to get out of your system! Anyway, I'm glad you didn't end up with thrush again :dance:. I have been madly taking Inner Health Plus along with the double dose of anti-biotics I have been on for the past week to try to avoid it myself!

DD - Working 4 weeks straight sounds like a lousy deal to me, especially for someone who is in their first trimester! Hope work settles down and you can have a well deserved break!

Tildy - hope your induction went smoothly (yeah, I know, I'm an optimist!) and your holding your precious little kebab in your arms right now!

AFM, had D&C on Wednesday afternoon. Had to wait ages to go in as the other surgeon was running behind schedule by 1.5hours! Anyway, it all went well apparently and I haven't had much pain or bleeding since. It wasn't too emotional for me as I think I had a week to process it all beforehand, although I did have a little cry when the aneasthetist was talking to me. He mentioned that the ob had already discussed our case with him and he was very sympathetic and understanding. My ob mentioned she was a bit sad because she had 4 D&Cs to do that afternoon, all due to pg loss/late miscarriage. It was so nice to finally be around some caring and compassionate specialists. We are thinking that if we do fall pg again, we will definitely ask for a referral to this ob.

I had a bit of down day yesterday, nothing in particular happened, but I think it might have been a bit of relief that we were finally ending the process of losing our baby, but also a sense of loss because the last of the physical aspect of being pregnant had gone. I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but it was how I felt. And all I kept thinking was I should be 23 weeks pg and setting up the nursery and enjoying being pg, but all of this has been taken away from me. So I was feeling a bit sorry for myself as well. Thanks for reading my ramble if you have gotten this far.

To everyone else here, a big :hello:. Hope you have a relaxing weekend.
Cheryl

Hi ladies

Just wanted to check in and let you all know that our princess has arrived safe and sound!

Kaitlyn James, arrived 14 April 2009 at 5.04pm. 2.825kgs/6lb 3, 47 cm long

I won't go into detail about the whole experience, but basically the stitch turned out to be a tricky bugger to remove (currently still MIA) but my ob managed to get it cut. I was already 2cm dilated and ready to go so he broke my waters and brought on labour with the drip. I was in labour for 4 and a bit hours, no pain relief after the massive gas out-of-body experience during the stitch cutting. We are home from hospital now and things are going well so far. BF is happening, and she sleeps well after feeds and DH and I are completely and utterly entranced and in love.

I can't wait for you all to bring your babies home. A bittersweet feeling but too wonderful for words also.

I don't know if we are allowed to post photos on here directly but I'll take a risk for you all...

Love to you all x

Jo - Kaitlyn is sooooo sweet! I can't believe it all happened so quick! Congratulations and WELCOME LITTLE KAITLYN! Our bubba is still breech at the moment (just like it's brothers!) have scan booked for 36wks to check placenta pos, as it was too low at 30wk scan. So if at the scan I have either or both problems still existing they will book me in for a C-section, hoping it all resolves itself so we can have a natural delivery, BUT I am not fazed this time as long as we get to bring this one home.
I hope you are all doing OK, Chez I'm sorry about your D&C, and to all you girls a big hug and speedy BFP's! Big belly rubs to all those preggie bellies!

Jo OMG I am so excited and happy for you! Welcome little Kaitlyn, you are so beautiful :leap::cheer::happyforyou::loveshower: I knew something was up when you hadn't checked in! This is such wonderful news and you have made my day. The MIA stitch is a worry though, but glad to hear it didn't hinder the safe arrival of your darling treasure. Biggest hugs to you and your DH.

Tildy, as Megan said, I really hope you're holding little Kebab in your arms. Can't wait to hear the news.

Cheryl, glad your D&C went well and at least now you can start to heal properly but I am sorry you had to go through it, I had to have 2 after I lost Sebastian and it's so upsetting. I am sending you big hugs and lots of BFP vibes sweets.

Teagz, hope you nasty cold has left you hun. Please take good care of yourself.

Megan, hello! Hope you're well and your BFP arrives this month. Think of you always hun and sending lots of positive vibes your way.

Dee, how are you sweets? Hope you got that BFP you so deserve my darling.

Beata! Hi darls, how are you? You have been awfully quiet lately and I hope you are just busy trying for your little miracle. Big big hugs to you.

Helen, not long now! Little one, please turn around for mummy!

Hiya Nae, hope all is good with you and little one...

Hi Sue and Lan, hope you're both well...

afm, well I had a huge scare on Thursday afternoon with a bleed. Rushed to the OB who put me on a week of rest which means I have had to stop work right in the middle of our event which my boss is not very happy about but I really don't care. The ultrasound showed baby is doing fine but he couldn't see where the bleeding was coming from. He said that although it's not normal, it's quite common - about 1 in 5 women. What a bloody scare. The bleeding has stopped now but I get a spot here and there which is more pink than bright red now so I am praying all will be ok. I think I remember Tildy and Beata saying this happened to them? I am really scared and can't even contemplate the thought of something going wrong again.

A big hello and big hugs to anyone I have missed and I hope you're having a lovely weekend x

Benjamin Liam Ceangailte Paulsson was born at 18:14 on April 17 after a VERY easily induced labor. My water was broken at 10:30 am, at which point contractions immediately came at a rate of 4 every 10 minutes with very little pain relief in between. By 15:30 I was told that I was already 10 cm open and could clearly feel the pushing stage beginning. By 17:30 they said Benny's heart rate was showing distress and I was thereafter tortured by an extra midwife putting all her weight on the top of my stomach as I pushed -- which you can imagine I did with all my might after hearing "danger!" By 18:14 they snipped me a bit to get him out.

They laid him there on the bed at my feet, and I just sat and hyper-ventilated, wide-eyed, staring in shock -- I was so focused on "God, let this end soon!" that I had totally forgotten why we were there and HOW it would end! We've been so focused on getting through the pregnancy successfully that every second since he came out has been surreal and a little hard to digest, haha! Even if the results of almost 3 hours of pushing are stitches, super hemmoroids, a catheter I get to schlep home with me, and amazing training pain from head to toe, I'm completely in awe-struck love.

YAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations Lori!!!!!! How amazing is that??!!! I am glad you are all totally in love with Benjamin. Can't wait to see the photos!
Diana - Re the bleeding, I have had varying amounts of bleeding with all bar this pregnancy (touch wood), I had a big bleed at 7 weeks with Cooper and they couldn't find where it came from either. Just wanted to offer support as my Dr said the same thing, not exactly 'normal' but common, it wasn't something that affected the pregnancy at all. I hope it doesn't happen again on you, it is very frightening.

AAH!!! Jeepers I stay away from the comp for the weekend and look what you girls do to me!!
CONGRATS TILDY & ALM!!!!! I'm feeling a little teary! And so incredibly happy for you both!
ALM, Kaitlyn looks absolutely adorable!! Completely perfect! She reminds me of a little snow white in the picture.
Tildy, you'll have to post up some photos soon to show your little man off!
Congrats girls :hug: You've both done so well! xx

Hey Jo, will they try to get the stitch out later or do they just leave it?? Jeebers I hope mine comes out!