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Hi all.
Jo - I have no idea how I managed to miss your posts about your children? Maybe it was before i joined? It is wonderful that even so young your children both remember Jack in their own way. I know that several of my nieces and nephews were very effected by Nathaniel. My sister has told me that her son who is 10 was very angry about it and also worried that i would be too scared to have another baby. Her daughter who is 8 cried and was especially upset that it was my first pregnancy. They are probably very sensitive as my sister has had 2 late losses - and they were very aware of their brothers and have a grave they visit etc. Children can be wonderful sources of comfort.
I will do my best to help you with some positive vibes leading up to your scan, but we may need to call in some extra reserves. I am still finding it difficult and seesaw between feeling excited and confident, to anxious and doubtful. I am sure your 8 week scan will show you a good strong heartbeat. It is a beautiful thing to see.
TM - I understand what you mean about withdrawing. I struggled (and still do at times) to get out again and pick up the pieces. I was starting to get better at the end of TTC and then got the BFP so that has bought on new things. Last weekend my friend wanted to catch up for breakfast and a walk. The night before i had back pain etc, so called her the next morning to say that I would meet her for breakfast but not the walk. It is so easy to become engrossed with TTC. Most people do not understand the overwhelming desire that drives us to want to conceive, and therefore do not always understand that it can be consuming. Take time to look after yourself, and I am sure you will find a way back to doing the things you enjoyed. you have experienced 3 mcs in a short space of time, and that heartbreak can not be measured. Take care :hug:
Hammi - the funeral you had for Hamish sounds beautiful. I am glad you and your DH were able to spend some more time with him. I hope you are doing okay. Take the time to grieve and be kind to yourself.
Hi Barbara - what are up to in your cycle?
Simba - hi - how did you pull up after the session on Thursday night? DH and I felt it was worth going to and will go again in May.
As for me, this Wed is Nathaniel's EDD, so this coming week really is going to be about him. I feel that having the good scan this week means I can move into this coming week not worrying about this baby and concentrating on Nathaniel. I have been a bit up and down, but managing ok. Basically I just let the tears flow when I need to. It seems to help.
I hope you are all having lovely weekends.
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hi all,
sorry i have been a bit mia lately. not really much news to report. the m/s is still there a bit in the morning but not getting too bad. have been quite tired so probably why i havent been posting much as i am getting to bed (or falling asleep on the couch) early most nights. all was good with my ob visit the other day - his scan is not as powerful as the one at the u/s place so he was not able to see bub and the heartbeat. but not concerned as i remember this was the same last time. so now i am waiting for the 12 week scan on 13th May.
Hammi - glad that the service for Hamish went ok and that you found the comfort that you need by seeing your little boy again. i remember finding the whole concept that we were organising our child's funeral so hard to come to terms with too. we had a beautiful service and so many people came but to be honest that day to me isnt part of my memories of Lani.
Kate - i was a bit tired on Friday morning but i found the session really great. i was also really nice to meet you and Mel. have been thinking that i might not go to the s&k pg support meeting. think maybe its better for me to just go to one - anyway i will let you know what i decide.
TM - hope you are doing ok! i have always been a pretty private person but i find now that i can slip into my own world a lot more. grief can be a really lonely experience and you dont always have the energy to deal with whats going on in the rest of the world. take care of yourself.
Jo - congratulations on the dr's confirmation :dance::dance: glad that your DH is being supportive too. good luck with the scan this week will be great to find out how many weeks you are.
Barbara - so sorry that you missed the mass but am sure Anthony knows you were there at the other servive for him. how special that the hospital had that service for the angel babies. :pray: that AF does not arrive for you.
take care everyone,
sim
x
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Hammi,
I am grateful that you have found us. I am so very sorry for the loss of your son Hamish. Your service sounds beautiful - he sounds like a gorgeous little boy. May you find comfort in here. Big big hugs my love... :hug:
Congratulations Jo! It is difficult but try to live each moment rather than look too far ahead. Manageable milestones and you will get there. :hug:
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just a quickie from me. AF is now late (she was due yesterday). I always have an LP of 11-12 days. This month I O'ed on day 16 (which coincidently was Anthony's EDD). anyway i was too chicken to test this morning. i will temp in the morning wish, me luck. sorry about the me post I am a bit preoccupied.
Barbara
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Hi Barbara - I really hope this is your month. I waited 4 days to test after AF was late, so I totally understand. Keep us posted. I will say a prayer for you and fingers crossed that we get another bfp in here soon! :hug:
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Do you think it's a conincidence that we're all around the same age? I'm 31.
Anthony'smom - :pink-babydust::bluedust:
Thank you for your prayers Jen805. Wow, you found this forum all the way from California!
Tempus Moriendi, I definitely know what you mean about withdrawing. When I'm feeling very sad, the only person I want to see is my DH. I don't even want to speak to my family even though I'm usually close to them. I have moments when I don't want to do anything because I don't see why life should just go on as normal when my baby's gone. Simba's right, grief is very lonely.
Jo76, I'm glad you understood my feelings about Hamish's photo. Jack's picts probably look very similar since the dr told me that Hamish was only the size of a 19wk baby. How are you coping with your wait till 5 May? I don't think I'd be able to think of anything else!
Katiegirl, are you dreading Nathaniel's EDD? I used to be in a Belly Buddy group for girls with the same EDD as mine. Sometimes I visit the thread to see how they're going since they're all so lovely and seeing their tickers always makes my heart sink. I have that all-consuming drive to be a mum too. When consoling me, some people say "you'll have a baby one day" and I want to scream "I want one now!" which to a normal person would sound crazy or cold since we've only just lost Hamish. But since no one's going to give Hamish back to me, I want a baby that I can hold and who will cry when it is born.
Oh Simba, morning sickness and 12wk scan. So happy for you! Can't wait to hear about your first meeting with your bub!
Hi Flowerchild. Thank you for your hug! I read your post elsewhere that you've just been through a rough time yourself with a sick child. Hope everything is OK now and I look forward to getting to know you.
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just another quickie from me as it is 5:30am. couldn't hold it anymore and wanted to use FMU.
:bfp:
Barbara
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Whoo hoo - Barbara I was holding my breath as the screen loaded your post. I am so happy for you!!! I just knew this was going to be your turn. Congratulations and I hope the coming months are easy ones. :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy:
And for everyone else some babydust :pink-babydust::bluedust:
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Anthonysmom--I, too, was waiting with baited breath as your post was loading. Saw last night that you were late, and just had a feeling that you were going to get your BFP today! Congrats! Woo hoo!!!! I'm so super excited for you! :) I think your angel Anthony may have had something to do with this!
Hi Hammi--Yes, found all you great ladies all the way from California! At first I hadn't realized that the majority of you are from Australia, in fact, it took someone else to say it for me to even notice! You're 17 hours ahead of me, so it's Sun. morning here right now. Hope you're having sweet dreams!
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Hi everybody and Congratulations to Anthonysmom and your BFP!!! I"ll be praying hard for you and I'm so happy for you.
jo76: I'm basically okay, truly. Just in a very philosophical mode, questioning what I'm doing with my life etc. But I got my fingers crossed for you with your ultrasound
Katiegirl, Simba and Hammi: thanks so much for your words of encouragement.
afm: still two week waiting.
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barbara - :hug::hug::hug: I am so happy for you!!!!!Waking up at 5.30am has never been so good i imagine!!! Such great news and how appropriate to lead off a new page with fab news!
i'm glad your moment has come! (don't be BFP obsessive and do 4 tests like me just to believe it is true -5 if you count the docs!ha!)
sending you all the sticky vibes possible!!!! keep us updated!!!!
xxxx
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Anthonysmom - :happyforyou:
:stickyvibesgirl:
:stickyvibesboy:
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Congratulations Barbara that is just the best news i am so excited for you :dance: in a way i guess its like you have made it to Anthony's EDD and now he thinks you are ready to travel the next journey with this new little one. i am not one for thinking things happen for a reason - there can be no reason that we should have lost our bubs but i think in some ways our angels do have some control of what's going on. sorry that was a bit deep!! but ykwim
anway congrats again - do everything you need to do to stay relaxed and positive. cant wait for an update...
take care everyone
sim
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Time for a new thread my lovelies. You will find it url=https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/ttc-after-late-loss-recurrent-miscarriage-stillbirth/65632-trying-conceive-after-late-loss-still-birth-recurrent-miscarriage-april-08-a.html#post1233927] HERE [/url]
