Trying to Conceive after Late Loss, Still Birth or Recurrent Miscarriage Feb/March 08

[Inanna]

If you have found yourself in this forum you no doubt have had a painful journey. TTC after recurrent miscarriage/stillbirth or Late Loss takes special courage and support. The aim of this forum is to provide a place where women who have endured loss can share their stories, friendships, treatments and triumphs!

My greatest wish is that you all leave this forum with nice big fat positives in the shortest possible time!!!

I hope so much that this month is YOUR month.

If at any time you'd like to make a suggestion, or provide any constructive feedback for this forum, please contact one of your following moderators:

Fllowerchild
Niliac
Alternately you may contact Kelly (however she may take a little longer to respond at times!).

Email addresses can be found here.

We appreciate all your feedback as it does help to make our forums a much happier, relaxed place to chat! We will always take your comments seriously - all comments are treated confidentially...



You will find the previous thread HERE

[tempus moriendi]

I think the universe is $crewing with me. I just found out my grandfather is very sick. My first thought was "but we're already in mourning!!!" DH and I are very overwhelmed right now.

Katiegirl: Glad you haven't lost your sense of humor. I really think sometimes laughter is a very good (if not the best) medicine. But all the same I really hope you don't have to wait TOO long to TTC.

[Simba]

hi all,

still no AF for me - now day 29 but not really sure of normal cycle length so dont know when to start to get hopeful. i want to get excited by am also trying to convince myself that it wont happen so that i wont be so disappointed if AF arrives. this last week for me has flown - it feels like the first time i have felt that since Lani died - time just seemed to drag in this torturous twisted reality but hopefully this week is a sign of normality slowly creeping back.

i met up tonight with a lecturer from uni who i still had contact with over the years since been working. only found out since Lani that her first baby died (full term like Lani) i has been nearly 12 years since he died and she now has 2 beautiful girls. we had the most wonderful 2 hour conversation and she had many words of wisdom for me. it has been so important for me to find someone who has been through the same or similar journey to me and now i feel like i've found that person. that sounds like i am not thankful to all of you - please know that i am more than words can say.

Jo and Sonni - hope that AF doesnt arrive for you and that at least one of us can have a BFP this month!

Katiegirl - so glad that you have found the new OB - he sounds absolutely wonderful. seeing him every week would be so helpful i think and i dont think you will get sick of it!! i know i wouldnt! hopefully you only have to wait the 4 weeks. i will have my for you.

[Simba]

TM - forgot to send to you. so sorry to hear about your grandfather. it must be so hard to deal with more grief right now hope that you have the support that you need to get through.

[tempus moriendi]

Simba: Thanks. No new word, so I guess he's status quo.
But I just wanted to share with you--after my third MC, women seemed to come out of the woodwork to share their stories with me--I didn't even know some of them had ever had an obstetric loss. But it made me feel less alone.

[Katiegirl]

Hi all. I need to vent about a conversation I had yesterday with my older brother. He and his wife had a baby back in November, about 1 week before we found out about losing Nathaniel.

Lately when he calls my mobile and leaves a message, he always pretends to be his baby talking to me. It has started to grate a bit - as the other night I had a rough day and then get this baby message - he does actually talk but he says it is the baby etc. So I had spoken to my mother about it and she said she would tell him that sometimes I am having bad days and getting these messages doesn't help. I don't want him thinking that i am not happy for their baby and I love him etc. Anyway I went to call him yesterday, and had started to think that I had over-reacted etc and was going to tell my mum not to say anything. Anyway we are both chatting on the phone and he asks about my week - so I say work okay and then decided to say we had met the new Ob. I thought it would be a good idea to share this. So firstly he said something about it being good to be organised. I then said that this ob specialises in women who have lost babies. And that is when it all went downhill. He said 'so did you tell him you are careless?' I wasn't sure I heard him right but then he said it again. I asked him what he meant and he said 'did you tell him you lose things or misplace things'. He was joking of course but he just kept going, saying things like 'you will forget where you put the baby and only find it when it cries'...I was in shock he was saying this to me, and just kept saying 'What are you on about' What do you mean? Eventually I said ' ARe you saying this because I said 'lost' a baby' and all he replied with was 'You will have to tie a know in your hankerchief to remind you'. We then both had to go - but I was just shocked that he had made a joke about all of this. It is in such bad taste. You don't joke with someone who has suffered a loss only 3 months ago. So I called my mum this morning to tell her and she was in shock as well. He obviously thought he was joking around but it is in such bad taste. His first wife died unexpectedly 5 years ago, and I would never have dreamt (nor would now) of telling him he is careless for misplacing her! I just can not understand why he show such a lack of judgement. It also means that I am even more reluctant to speak to him.

I don't think I could be bothered talking to him myself about it. DH and i have enough on our plate without having to deal with a stupid joker - so mum said she will say something.

Does everyone else agree this is out of line?