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Humph! Yes, while on holidays with my family DH and I found ourselves to be the default babysitters for my brother and sister's children. Just by the fact that we don't have any of our own to occupy ourselves with, and we're kind of fun (well, DH is, I was being a cow), the kids just stuck around us and their parents knicked off whenever they could. Boooo hissss!
But you're right Beata, 2008 wasn't all bad. We did all get to be mothers even if we had to learn the hardest feeling that can come with it.
My new year resolution is to TRY to not impose my feelings on everyone else, accept that no one will feel Hamish's loss the way I do (except you guys), and to open my heart to love another child.
I am now CD25. My BBs are kind of swelling and feel heavier. I remember with Hamish I noticed they got more veiny before I tested so of course I've been peering hard at them to see if there are veins. There aren't really but they do feel heavy. A sign? A sign? Hee.
Laney, I forgot to wish you happy birthday. 27 is my favourite age. My birthday wish for you is to simply be able to bring an earth baby home.
I'm back at work today and procrastinating hard.
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yay for sore BB's Lan (he he). Can't you get one of those early tests. Oooooh how exciting. I can't wait to hear about your BfP.
I announced to DH that I am 2 days PG today... AF arrived 2 days ago so even though I have not conceived yet I am already counting how many days PG I am!!! Does that make me a freak. I'm pretty sure it does, but its probably not the first symptom of freakyness I've had so not a real worry I guess. I figured I would follow the 'fake it till you make it' strategy!!
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Lan I have my fingers crossed so hard for you.....
Mrs Robbo - You are definately not a freak and it is really good to have positive vibes around you. I really do believe in psychics - even though there is good ones and also bad ones. Hopefully you had a good one and all of it comes true - here is to a BFP this month.....
Well I am also at work, though probably only for today. Catching up with work and then I won't be coming back until the 5 Jan.... yippee
Though on the roads today in Adelaide it was soooooo quiet, I got to work in record time and felt like I was the only one going to work.
xxx Sue xxx
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Paula, I forgot to say that I've been debating with myself whether to go and get a reading too. But then I concluded that if there is more bad news, I can't handle it, so I haven't.
I choose to believe your psychic so let me be the first to extend my congratulations to you on your 2 day old second daughter :-)
"Fake it till you make it" is a fantastic mantra, I'll join you! Wooh!
Sue, thank you for crossing your fingers for me, with Lily in your belly (can we start calling her that now?), I believe your finger crossing is very powerful :-)
Ready for a nap now. zzzzz
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Lan - definately use Lily.
I love feeling her and rubbing my belly and call her by her name ....
xxx Sue xxx
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Lan, that's rough that you were the default babysitters... a bit of sensitivity never goes astray but we can't choose family. I'm hoping your boobs get nice and sore and you and Paula are due in the same month.
The third trimester has hit me like a ton of bricks, even if it's not meant to start for another week or two. My lower back hurts, my feet hurt and I have indigestion for the first time in my life, it kept me awake last night and was gross. But I love it all still, and don't complain (except for that just then). Adding to Sue's thread about people saying 'just wait until' I'm the same, I'm not worried about pain or discomfort or getting fat (and I really am getting fat!) or even the pain of labour, all that matters is that the baby comes safely, and I think unless you have had trouble having babies you can't understand it. I know first time round I was worried about labour etc.
Paula, I went to a psychic once with a friend, and both our psychics were way off... but it was a psychic convention and I think it was pretty crude. I have heard some amazing stories though of people I know and what they were told so I remain open minded because even though I'm a sceptical person I accept there are many things we don't know or fully understand in this world.
I'm a little sad too to be saying goodbye to 2008... I don't feel I can celebrate the new year. DH's friend invited us over for NYE and I said I just don't feel up to it so it will be just the two of us. Celebrating feels like we're glad 2008 is over, and like you said Lan it was a painful but amazing year, and also I don't want to act like 2009 will make everything better because it's just more time passing and we never know what's around the corner. Also I'm not looking forward to going back to work in a week... but then I have a scan next Wednesday so I both look forward to and dread next week, can't win!!!
Love Rozzie
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Paula, that's spooky ( good spooky ! ) about the psychic saying she can see a girl in 2009...all you have to do is wait and see, and when it happens you know she can really see into the future and you can go and see her again ! Fingers crossed for 2009 hey ? I think there are good psychics, and really crappy ones when they try to prod you for info.
I went to see a psychic 4 weeks ago ( I see only 2 women, alternating, about every 2 years or so ) and this one straight away told me I had a miscarriage recently..I almost fell off my chair. She said to get rid of that fibroid ( which I am in 3 weeks ) and said she can see another baby in 2009/2010. Here's hoping...;)
Lan, sore boobies, yey !! Hope they stay sore ( not that's very pleasant, but it's good ! ) and you get a BFP soon :crossfingers:
Sue, you poor thing, my friend had to go to work for one day today ( we're both back on 12/01 ) and she called me today and she was suicidal ! Poor thing...it's horrible going back even for a few hours when you're on holidays..
Rozzie, I know what you mean about being sore and tired in your 3rd trimested, I never made it that far, but my next pregnancy ( I hope... ) I'll be saying, bring it on ! Don't care how uncomfortable I am, the bub will be so worth it.
Diana, I'm working on my mum, but sometimes it's like teaching a child about life..IUKWIM. You'd think she'd be more understanding, since she's had 2 kids of her own ! I hope you get that book, it's beautiful.
Jo, yay for the bigger room ! Good luck for your next u/s :goodluck:.
Big hello & hugs to the rest of you loverly girls.
Love
Beata xxx
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Yay for 3rd trimester troubles Rozzie. I can't believe it is only days away for you. I remember getting heartburn for the very first time when I was PG with Ethan and it completely freaked me out. It took me awhile to realise what it actually was!!
No matter what is said about 2008 it has certainly been eventful for all the right and wrong reasons. I am choosing to use NYE to express gratitude. Rather than celebrating the end of 2008 or the beginning of 2009 I have decided to just use the time to reflect on everything I am grateful for in my life. Which in spite of the horrors of this year is quite a lot.
I hope you can all find something to smile about on NYE and that 2009 brings us all our long awaited earth babies.
Paula
xoxo
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Beata, our posts crossed over. Lets hope your psychic is right about the new bub on the way and that its 2009 rather than 2010.
Fingers crossed!!
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Thanks Paula, fingers crossed for us both hun, I think we both ( and all the other girls TTC ) deserve a beautiful and healthy bub in our life soon...
Beata xxx
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Hi everyone
Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their kind words during this difficult time. I am really struggling with it all and have not been coping too well. I have never experienced such turmoil and heartache. Sorry for the lack of personals but I just don't have the energy right now.
Thanks again everyone - your support has gotten me through this Christmas period. xxx
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Hi Theresa,
Oh hun, I just want to give you a huge hug :hug:and tell you I wish I could make this heartache go away...It's just so awful to miss your little boy, he should be here. I often wonder about Joshua and what stage he'd be at, and how big he'd be now. My gut feeling is that if I was still pregnant, he would be born late Dec early Jan as my firbroid was taking a bit of room down there..Yet, there is no baby to hold and I feel really empty inside. I have Joshua's little place in my house, and he's surrounded by every angel I could find, I bought him 'Baby's First Christams' snow ball , a fireplace thingy that lights up and has a baby's christmas stocking hanging on it, and a rocking horse with a little teddy with a santa's hat on it, I have 2 photo's of Joshua and my last purchase this christams was a musical snow dome that plays twinkle, twinkle little star. Phew....the list goes on ! It makes me feel good buying little things for him ( you don't want to know what I bought for the christams tree ...) and although my DF thinks I'm going mad sometimes, I don't care. I feel good doing it, and I feel close to my little angel. I also have conversations with him in my head and then when I go to bed I talk to him and say a little prayer for him and ask my relatives to look after him until I get there, and again, I feel so close to him.
So, acknowledge your beautiful son as much as you can, because even though he never opened his eyes here on earth like Joshua, he was very much here and he is very real. One day when it's our time to go, we will be reunited with our little boys and we can give them these huge hugs and kisses and we'll never have to be apart again.
I'm sending you lots of love and suport and strength Theresa, I truly hope your suffering gets less and less each day, and you are at peace.
Love always
Beata xxx
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Hi all,
Well I had an Ob appointment today and I got to hear bubs kicking away and a nice strong heartbeat. We also went through the morphology scan and the Ob was saying everything was good.
Oh and I found out today that the placenta is sitting at the front of my stomach and thats the reason I cant feel bubs all the time and only when I lay on my side and bub is on its side that I feel her.
I will have to wait a little longer to get movements all the time!!! bugger.
Rozzie - I also have a few little/dont care issues as well. My hips at night are a killer and I am getting indigestion as well - and I am only in my 2nd trimester!!! I spoke to the Ob this morning about the hips and he just said "wait a bit longer and it will get worse!!!).
Beata - what do you have to go through when you have your fibroids removed????
Zachary's Mum - I am so sorry you are going through a rough time. It is so understandable and I am glad that if we helped a little, thats what this website is all about. :hug: to you....
:hello: to everybody else.
xxx Sue xxx
xxx Sue xxx
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Hi Sue,
I'm so glad everything is looking good, yey ! Too bad about the hips hurting, I'm guessing only, is it because everything there is stretching slowly ?? If that's the case, you poor thing... But, just think about the end result, a beautiful baby girl and it will all be so worth it. You can do it !!!!
Re my operation, the fibroid is going to be removed with an operation called myomectomy where they'll go into the uterus like a c cection and remove the big lump. Then they'll stich it up and I'll have to wait about 3 months ( so the uterus is healed ) to do another cycle of IVF . I'll be off work for 6 weeks ( yey !! ). I have one blast bub on ice...I'm praying this one latches on like Joshua did....The doctor told me with my next pregnancy, I'll probably have a c section at 38 weeks as there is a risk of the uterus bursting if I attempt a vaginal delivery. Bugger, I would have loved to experience it again with a full term baby, but at the end of the day, a healthy and happy baby is all that counts.
Big hugs
Beata xxx
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Hi Beata,
Well I wish you all the best for your operation and definately 2009 will be your year to conceive a little bubs. I will have all my fingers and toes crossed for you.
I have been down the IVF track, its can be quite daunting isnt it. We were successful first time as well, but unfortunately and this is my gut feeling and I know I am right..... I am on a drug called metformin for insulin resistance and my Ob (not the one I have now) told me to stop taking it at around 9 weeks, which I did trusting him, unfortunately my little bubs stopped growing at that stage and I MC @ 12 weeks.
I also had a little frostie, but unfortunately it didnt come out of the unfreezing stage, but I got pregnant that month naturally.
So we call our little girl our miracle.....
xxx Sue xxx
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Oh Sue, she definitely is a little miracle. I'm sorry you've lost your litlle bub at 12 weeks, that terrible doctor ! You know what they say about gut feelings, they're hardly ever wrong.
The irony in my IVF journey is that initially we've had to do it because when my DF was still married to his ex wife, he had a versectomy 10 years ago ( she had lupis and they almost lost their son - he was born at 32 weeks ) so when we decided to have kids he had the reversal done, but it wasn't succesful and the sperm count was almost zero.
So we did one cycle of IVF and I got pregnant the first time, but then my fibroid palyed up and I lost Joshua because of it. My doctor ( which I never balmed, as I know from reading heaps of material on fibroids, they rarely cause a problem ) was as shocked as me at what happened. I also think ( and this is MY gut feeling ) that the IVF drugs made the fibroid very angry and it grew so big in the end that it's blood supply got cut off and it started to degenerate, sending my poor uterus into spasms ( then contractions ). I think every woman is different, and women react differently to certain things, and obviously my pregnancy hormones and the IVF drugs just made the fibroid play up.
I will feel so much better once it's removed, although I always pray that we get pregnant naturally, by some miracle. Hey, they do happen, look at you !
Thanks so much for your well wishes hun.
Love and hugs
Beata xxx
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Beata, I always think of Lily (Sue's miracle girl) whenever I need some hope. I was reading our old post the other day and saw the one where Sue said that she just lost frostie and we were all so down for her but then she and her DH got preggers all by themselves. I hope your operation goes smoothly (it's a big and scary one!!) and that you'll get a BFP as soon as your body has recovered.
Theresa, I'm sorry you are missing your boy so much. You have every right to and I don't know what to do to make you feel better. Only that I understand your pain and wish with all my might that Zachary is holding you tight when you need him the most.
Everybody, I've finally heard from Jo (Madison's mum, not Luke's mum). Sounds like she had the same crappy December we all did.
Rozzie, how big are you? All over big or just tummy big. I hope I'll get to see you again before you have your bub so I can see you in full bloom. I told David that you're one week away from entering 3rd tri and he dedicated a song on Guitar Hero to you and Alec and bubs :-) To think that when we saw you, I think you were just 14wks.
Sue did you get to see Lily or just listen? I'm currently reading Francesca Naish's 'The Natural Way to a Better Pregnancy and she's totally against ultrasounds which has put me into a bother as I was planning to totally assault the ultrasound machine like Katie did to keep my sanity when I finally get my BFP. How to balance being an earth mother hippy type with being programmed as a freaked out paranoid mother type?
Speaking of BFP's, I'm going to buy a pee stick on Fri which will be CD29 and test on Sun if AF doesn't show her face. BB's are still big and feeling very tired today. More signs? Please?
Everyone else must be on holidays. I want to hear from Helen, see if her naughty bub has kicked up more of a storm.
Hugs to everyone.
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Lan, thanks hun, I'm looking forward to getting that fibroid out but pooing myself at the same time about the pain and recovery !!!! But you know what they say, no pain no gain !
So glad to hear you BB's are still heavy..good sign I think. I can't believe I won't be able to check on how you went until I come back from my holiday next week ! Fingers crossed hun, I hope AF stays well away..GOOD LUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wishing you millions and trillions sticky vibes :)
Love
Beata xxx
