Trying to Conceive after Still Birth/ Late Loss/Recurrant Miscarriage ~ December 2008

Oh Lan, :hug: for this month not being the one. I remember all of 2007 where I got month after month of BFNs, it is so disappointing. But on the plus side it sounds like your cycle is all in check and good to go for this coming month. I read an article that said despite popular opinion successful fertilisation and implantation is a tricky process and first time success is less common that most think. So your perfect month is on its way.

I have to go back to work on Monday :( but scan on Wednesday so that's good, I really need reassurance that the blood flow has remained good after stopping clexane.


I hope Jo is ok... this time is so hard for people who've had such painful loss.

Love Rozzie

Hi girls,

Well it has been a big couple of days.

DH and I went out and purchased all the baby stuff!!!!

I must admit, I was really really scared about it, as it is such a big move, but we had some time off together and not sure if we will get that again for a while (as DH is a boilermaker and works a lot of weekends etc).

So we ordered pram, car seat, cot, change table and wow spent a lot of money!!!

Katie - thought of you this Christmas and how it would have been great celebrating it with Anna, but a little sad also.

Rozzie - good luck for your scan on Wednesday. I am also back to work on Monday - gees its going to be hard.

Lan I hope so much this cycle will be it - Paula and you are going to have so much fun trying and announcement will be so sweet - can't wait.

Helen - I am sure your ticker is going quicker than mine!!!! How are you going??? When do you go to your 20 week scan??? You poor thing with the hot weather in Brisbane, Adelaide has been fantastic weather. But looks like we are warming up though.

To everyone else - xxxxxx

xxx Sue xxx

ok girls (in my bestest singing voice) "Paula is a stupid twit, stupid twit, stupid twit, Paula is a stupid twit and so say all of us!!!"

I have been checking my emails every day to see if anyone has been posting and nothing has come through. I was picturing everyone off partying and wondering if Lan had peed on a stick yet and then I realised DH had been on the computer and my emails had come through without me realising. What I thought was an old message was actually a new one and because I didn't click on it, I didn't get anymore.

Here I was thinking no-one loved me and it was all DH's fault... lucky for him we are ttc or he would be getting no action for that naughtiness!!

OK well I have quickly read through everyone's posts and feel a little more up to date now.

Lan: what is going on. How dare AF show her ugly head. (picture me secretly giggling like mutley because now I have you as a ttc buddy for another month!) I did want to say though that I have read in a few books that everyday does affect DH's sperm count or something so every second day is recommended. Don't tell DH I said that, he might get cross for reduced action this month!

Sue: wooooooooohooooooooooo on all the baby stuff. You guys are such legends I am so proud of you for taking the plunge. I bet little Lily is in there getting so excited about all her new stuff. I can picture her now posing in all her new gear for all those wonderful bubba snaps you'll be sharing with us in just a few months time. I cannot wait and am beside myself with excitement for you guys.

Rozzie: fingers crossed for Wednesday. Look at your ticker go. When did you get to 26 weeks. It seems to have happened overnight. OMG this group is getting so excited I can hardly contain myself.

Tildy: what a bugger about your hips and sinuses. I agree with your DH.. no more cat duty for you. You are carrying a precious bundle for all of us atm so don't go doing anything stupid again. BTW 27 weeks! Crazy speedy ticker of yours! I am LOVING it!!

Katie: please tell us about xmas with Anna. I bet you were a little sad missing Nathaniel but hopefully got to have so many gorgeous moments with Anna that overall it was your best xmas every! Lets hope we can all share in some of that joy this time next year!

Beata: I'm glad I am not the only one to have a few drinkies over the last week or so. I feel like the Devil reincarnate as I got a little plastered on xmas night and then had 2 glasses of wine on NYE, when I was 4 days PG!! You must be loving the holidays, I have been. DH and I have been the beach for a swim the last 3 mornings in a row, for the first time in years. It was quite for ttc. Something about a quick swim in the ocean and being carefree whilst M&FIL looked after DS!!

Helen: bring on Tuesday hey. I want to know your little bub is doing well in there. It is still so early for regular movement at 17weeks (nearly 18!!). I live for news from scans on this thread. It is such a buzz to hear how all our little bubbies are doing. I will eagerly await your update on Tues night when I get home from work.

Theresa: you poor love. We all feel your pain and if only we were able to take it away for you. The best we can offer is an understanding ear and hopefully you find some kind of solace in the fact that on some level we feel your pain as if it is our own because we have all experienced losses that no-one should ever have to experience. Please take care of yourself.

Jo: I hope you surviving this time of year. Hugs to you and all your angels, earth and heaven!!

OH no now I'm running out of time. I really wanted to share 2 things with you girls.

Firstly: as most of you know I am on this health kick (you didn't read the bit about the wine and plastering on xmas night did you!!! good!!!) anyway... i was on the treadmill doing my run on NYD and I often chat to Charlie whilst running because I get inspiration from her. So I was feeling a bit lousy that I was starting yet another year without a bub in my arms. I have read (Allison Dubois book if anyone is interested) that spirits can affect electrical objects and often communicate to us via a song on the radio etc. So I had my ipod in and I told Charlie that I really needed to know that she was with us and could she please send me a song on my ipod so that I would know she was around.

Now I have over 1000 songs on my ipod and had it set to random. I was chasticing myself because I thought all the songs that I normally play when thinking of Charlie are really slow and they wouldn't be any good to run to. Anyway, so the next song comes on and before I saw what it was I forwarded it because it was slow... but just as I did I saw what it was called. I freaked out and quickly reversed back to it. I have not heard this song for years and it nevers comes up on my random play (you know how it seems your random always plays the same songs over and over again). I had never listened to it as it being a song about Charlie but when I did I had serious sweat coming out my tear ducts... the song was "Angels" by Robbie Williams. I was completely freaking out. I am so sure it was my little girl sending me a song. Even some of the lyrics were very pertintent to things that I have been dealing with lately. Have a listen to it if you have it. It is really lovely when you listen from the perspective of all of our losses.

Anyway, a bit of a ramble but I thought some of you girls might enjoy the story.

My second piece of news is the ttc news. DH and I had unprotected "relations" last night for the first time. The real conception day is tomorrow but I read its good to go 2 days before to get rid of old swimmers!! I am a bit confused about my ovulation date though. My charting is a bit confusing and I have 2 significant temperature increases each cycle. Fertility friend says I ovulate on day 10 but then after my second temp spike on about day 17 it says, sorry we can't work you out!! So I guess I will have to do 2 rounds of ttc planned "relations" just to be on the safe side.

The good news is that I had no pain with AF or PMS this time round and really think my progesterone levels must be getting back to normal and are ready to take care of this baby.

BTW if any of you charting experts can show me how to post my fertility friend chart I would love you all to have a look and let me know when you think ovulation is. I think mucus wise its day 10 but I get very confused. Dumb blonde!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!

love
Paula

Oh Paula, you make me laugh! The very image of you sniggering like Mutley is priceless. Having you as a TTC-ing buddy is one of my only consolation for missing out the last cycle. I also remember that I'm supposed to be Diana's labour buddy so we're all just going to have to conceive this cycle.

I got goosebumps down my neck with your 'Angels' story. Ethan is so intuitive, it's no surpise his sister is also able to find ways to communicate with you despite worldly barriers. I must say that I haven't 'felt' Hamish for months now. According to Buddhist beliefs he would have moved on by now but I can't let go of him being my son so how could he let go of me being his mother? The only way I know that I still have some connection with him is that my mum's medical treatment is going really well - like amazing the doctors with the results. My mum firmly believes that it's because Hamish is helping her.

Rozzie, thanks for telling me that you were TTC-ing all through last 2007. We also started trying at the beginning of that year and here we are still. I know it takes time and things happen when they're meant to but goodness me, for others, babies seem to just happen! But look at you, officially in the third trimester now. Is next week's scan just a normal check up or specifically to check blood flow? Either way, I look forward to hearing about it and seeing the little person (I was going to say little guy but we're not 100% on that are we?) again.

Tildy, you gave me such a fright falling down the stairs like that. Hold on to the banister with both hands when coming down those stairs now and let the cats walk themselves! Congrats to you also on Kebab graduating to the third trimester. Are you getting a scan soon? Have we confirmed that Kebab is a boy?

Sue, congrats on buying all the baby stuff! When will you actually receive them? It is a scary commitment to make isn't it but such a wonderful thing to be able to do - setting up a room for your little bub. Did you get all girly stuff? Did you get letters to spell out Lily on her door? I didn't realise that you're only one month behind Rozzie and Tildy.

It's such a grey morning. Greyness is depressing. I'm solar powered, give me some sunshine!

Oh Paula, when you're on your Fertility Friend page, look down the menu along the left hand side of the screen. Click on Sharing then Homepage Setup. That page has the URL you can share with us at the top of it. Just paste that into your message and we'll be able to click on it. :-)

ok so I think I've done it... fingers crossed!

2316aa Ovulation Charts

did it work??

Paula -- yup, it worked, if you're on cycle day 7 today (Jan 3) and your temp was 36.1 :) If your cycle is strange for FF to figure out then it's best to just BD every other day all the time!

Lan -- Sorry this wasn't your month, hon. :( But you're just warming up! Yup, DH was pretty serious about how I'm not allowed to go down the stairs anymore until I'm fully awake, so he'll be letting the cats out from now on, heh. This morning I couldn't sleep because of sinus crap so I went downstairs at 5, but then I was like, "Okay, holding on to everything and making sure I'm flat on my feet on every step!" I couldn't have hit hard though because the only thing that ended up hurting at all is the arch in my left foot (it slammed into the railing) and only if I actually press on it with my hands. I even called the maternity ward just to make sure and they told me not to worry, but made a note about it.

And nope, it's not at all confirmed that Kebab is a boy. It's just because we've been using Kebab as a pet name that we tend to say "he"; otherwise it's still 50/50! I hope for a girl, but remember that I never said that if it ends up being a boy! Next scan is in 2-3 weeks if at all -- I have an appointment with the high risk OB in week 30 and I presume she'll do a scan. I'll have to squint so I don't see any winkies or not and spoil the surprise.

But we still haven't bought anything yet! This has been one major slacker vacation for us, but we're not going back to work until Wednesday Jan 7, so we've still got time to at least get the rearranging done and get the baby's room empty. At that point, filling it up will be easy.

This belly thing is starting to feel so funny. I really feel like there's just a big water balloon inside me -- which, of course, there is, but I wasn't expecting it to feel like that. It seems to live a life of its own, sloshing and sloshing around. It even went "bloop bubble bloop" once today when I sat down and I freaked out that the bag had popped or something :P Is this normal?

Good morning my lovelies and (it will be) a VERY HAPPY YEAR for us all.

Firstly, Lan I am so sorry AF dared to show her ugly head. She is a total cow. Jan is our month, I know it. I didn't know your mum was ill Lan, I am so very sorry to hear that. How wonderful of Hamish to be keeping a watchful eye on her and helping her along in her treatment.

Paula, I got shivers. I really believe our angels give us very small signs that they are with us. On Sebastian's EDD (which was also the anniversary of my beautiful mum's death), there was a little orange butterfly in my courtyard at home which decided to stay put for about an hour or so then flew off. Didn't think anything of it at all...... Anyway, that evening I was chatting to my MIL and she said she was in the kitchen cooking when a butterfly flew in and sat on her benchtop for a while, and you guessed it, it was orange! I felt so comforted and just knew it was them coming to tell us they were together and ok (i buried Sebastian with my mum so I know they are together).
I have never charted so sorry I can't be any help in that area.

Rozzie, congratulations on reaching your third trimester!All the best for Wednesday!!

Tildy, step away from the stairs, step away from the stairs! Thank God you didn't hurt yourself and Kebab is ok. What a fright!

Sue, how exciting buying baby stuff hey? I've actually still got stuff I purchased for Sebastian on lay-by. I called them and they said I could go in and get my deposit back but I just can't bring myself to go into the store yet.

Beata, hope you are enjoying your time away. Not long now until you get your fibroid removed, recover quickly and completely and get preggers with the rest of us!

Helen, can't wait to hear all the fantastic news after Tuesday!

Theresa darling, big big hugs to you. I hope you are feeling a little stronger today. We are all here for you.

Katie, I hope you had a lovely Xmas with Anna with Nathaniel in your heart and thoughts I'm sure....

Jo, hope you are doing ok and you feel up to joining us again soon.

Jo (Luke's mum), how are you hun? Still in hospital?

Megan, you've been awfully quiet lately. Hope you are doing ok.

I'm 12 days pregnant today (I so love your theory and mantra Paula that I too am getting on board!).

Hi to everyone else.

Diana x

congrats Diana on your 12th day of pregnancy. I can't believe what a good feeling I have about 2009. Its almost like I am buzzing with anticipation. I hope the universe doesn't come and slap me with something bad just to prove me wrong. (I'm a real positive thinker aren't I).

I loved your butterfly story. I have heard a few people tell stories of butterflies and I think they have special significance with the spirit world so I'm sure your intuition is right.

Tildy: how exciting having a big slooshy belly like that. Shame about the sinuses still bugging you. I do actually remember when I was PG with Ethan that I had a blocked nose all the time, I think I read somewhere that it is something to do with all the extra blood flow and fluids etc. Probably won't be going anywhere anytime soon. At least it is all for a good cause!!

Hi lovely ladies :)
Sorry for a short message - my net here at the hospital is sooo incredibly slow that I can half complete a crossword just trying to log in!

Lan - sorry to read that AF showed for you. Stupid cow!

Glad to hear everyone else is doing well and I hope those of you TTC have some luck to start the year. I remember TTC again after Luke and our m/c and it was a horrible time.

Nothing new to report from me - hospital food is gross now and I am sooo over it! Mum is making me some dinner tonight though so that will be a nice break. My next u/s is on Wed afternoon so my fate for the near future will be decided then. The nurses told me to be prepared for the move to Westmead as they havent seen anyone go home from here with my situation but maybe my cervix will defy all odds and grow to some phenomenal length! Ah well I can dream...:p
Either way we are less than 2 days away from our first goal of 24 weeks so that is a great thing. It is a real struggle trying to keep up the positivity sometimes but I am trying.

Take care everyone and sorry for the lack of personals x

Hey Jo, glad to hear you are finding ways to get through your bedrest. I have everything crossed for you and your little girl. Only 2 days away from 24 weeks is at least something positive to focus on and as much as hospital must totally suck for you it is obviously the best place for you and your little girl to be.

I was born in Westmead hospital I think!! There must be something in that:)

Take care of yourself.

Paula
xox

Hi Ladies,
I'm sorry for the lack of personals. I have been having a difficult week. Monday is the ultrasound that I have been worried about for 4 months now. I just can't seem to stay positive. I feel our little man wiggle and kick everyday now. Today was a quiet day, only a few here and there. Quiet days make me think that there is something wrong. I keep thinking about how quiet Shelby got her last few weeks. I can't imagine having to go through another loss. I'm not too sure how I am going to hold it together in the waiting room at the doctor's office. I guess I just need a few hugs to help me get through the next couple of days. :hug:

Sending you a massive hug Laney!!! :hug:
Sounds like we have a big week for u/s this week - you, me, Rozzie and Helen I think?

Oh and little Lily that is due 10 May - that is my birthday and also falls on Mothers Day this year...good sign I think! x

Huge week for U/S's!!! Laney - I am sending you the biggest hug I could possibly imagine your way, I hate scans on Mondays & Fridays, the weekend waiting is torture on top of everything else:comfort:. Good luck to all of us having one next week and big belly rubs for all the other preg ladies and babydust to all our TTCer's!

Laney, for the lack of anything useful to say to you, may I offer you three squishy hugs :comfort: :comfort: :comfort:

Although nothing but a good scan will make you feel better, I guess logically we can say that every pregnancy is different and there's no reason for you to receive anything but good news on Monday. Shelby and Parker, hug your mummy tight and tell your little brother to kick up a storm for mummy's sake!

Paula, have you only started charting this month? Usually FF lets you display 2 or 3 charts but I can only see your current one. I love your positive feeling, please keep it up so I can ride on your coat tail :-)

Hi Diana! CD12, I hope you're putting in some good work with DH :-) It's sadly beautiful that Sebastian was buried with his grandma. I'm glad he came and visited you when you needed him.

Tildy you've got a lot of self-control waiting until Kebab's birth to find out the gender. I think that's really lovely. I have no such control. After you clear out his/her room, maybe you can put something on layby as a next step. I'm really looking forward to you and Rozzie getting over the 30wk mark. Then it's countdown time!

Jo (Luke's mum), I hope your cervix amazes everyone next week with its stunning lengthening too. Where are you at the moment (since you mentioned moving to Westmead)? Diana and I are going to deliver there! What's your mum making for your dinner :-)

Helen, 18wks! Yay! Remember I'm betting a girl for you.

Lan: I just figured out how to add 2 charts but thats all it will let me. I put my last 2 full cycles which were the confusing ones... 2316aa Ovulation Charts

Laney: you poor love, I agree with Lan, I'm on a wave of positivity at the moment so I will send some your way. What a week next week for so many of us!

oooo Paula, you are a hard nut to crack! I would say, uhmm 'In my proffessional opinion!' 1/11/08 ovulation at day 14, but on 29/11/08 possibly day 15 or 16, that's the hard one. But in saying it's hard, bear in mind a normal luteal phase ( after ov) is usually 12 -16days in length, so if you count back from the start of your period it gives you roughly the 14 day mark which is your (2nd) temp rise. There is a definite rise on both charts which I think is the latter date, even if your cm doesn't really correspond with the rise, it's doesn't always. I would never have much and if I did it was never the right time! Were you taking the prog supp in the 29/11 chart? I ask because your temp dropped short before your period came, will be interesting to see what happens this cycle!!! Those temps should sky rocket and not land for i'd say 9months??? I hope I made some sort of sense in all that rambling...

Hi Everybody hope everyone had a good new year and christmas
been offline for a few weeks so im just starting to catch up on all the info and celebrations and dissapointments that have happened in the last few weeks. "sorry lan" things will come when its ready.
anyway we have finished moving now we are starting the renovating really slowly. been a intesting experience i was itching to get my net conected though was having withdrawals.
anyway we had our big ultrasound on the 15th dec and we are having a girl by the looks of things. :dance:
anyway im going to light a candle for my angel today its his 2nd angelversary today we went and got a little elkhorn today to attach to the house just for him.
hope everyone is doing well and surley ill hear of more BFP'S very soon , you go girls 2009 is a good year:pray:
sending you lots of sticky vibes :pink-babydust::bluedust:

love to all,
Cindee....;)

I couldn't resist and have to give my thoughts on your ff chart Paula - I love trying to interpret them!
In my opinion...day 16 for the confusing one and day 15 for the other one. And I am also agreeing with Helen on the LP length so it looks about right when you go with that theory :) Hope that helps!

Hammi - I am at the Hills Private for now which is nice but they don't deliver before 33 weeks, hence the move to Westmead if need be. And Mum made me fettucine boscaiola (no idea how to spell that) and some chicken. Hmmm, it was good especially when one of the "appetising" alternatives from the hospital menu I had to choose from was "turkey and pickled pear salad". YUCK YUCK YUCK

Laney, I meant to say earlier that I am thinking of you for Monday and really hoping you get good news. I don't really know your story but is it placenta flow/IUGR issues they are specifically looking for or something else?

Time for some sleep I think. Pity the internet runs so much better the later it gets!