Trying to Conceive after Stillbirth/Late Loss/Recurrant Miscarriage October

Diana, it's not over till it's over. I think both Helen and Sue thought that AF was coming the cycle they got pregnant. I remember scrutinising their temp charts daily to try and see a sign... but I always knew Helen would get pregnant in Sept.

Yay Katie, so happy to hear from you. I have been thinking about you and your little family and wondering the same thing i.e. what happens once you actually get a screaming baby? Anna's birth sounds pretty rough on you. Forceps = stitches? Oh but I am getting all giddy with delight imagining you with your little girl and DH being all protective daddy. Nathaniel's probably saying "See mummy, I told you everything will be OK. I was meant to be your guardian angel." And you mustn't leave this thread. I demand that you stay. Pls pass over your baby baton to me now :-)

Rozzie, I'm glad my big mouth wasn't offensive! I want this week to be over for you too. Sounds like bub knows you need extra TLC this week and is obliging you and Alec with loads of kicks. So you can see the kicks from the outside now? Exciting! Do you still use the doppler at all? David and I were talking about whether we would get one but I think if I wasn't able to find a HB, I would completely lose the plot even if it's just because the baby's in funny position.

Helen, congrats on a good scan. It warms my heart each time I hear about your sneak peeks into your babies' world. Did you get a pic to keep? Was it one of those fancy 4D scans?

So Rozzie, Tildy and Sue have the next scans? And Laney too? Can't wait, I love watching you guys pass milestones.

As for me, I am still pretending that I'm cool and not knowing when I can test. I looked at pregnancy tests today but it was in the same Priceline where I bought my last kits so I decided against it. I really feel like I'm pregnant even though I'm in no position to (it's only CD17), I wonder if I'm one of those crazies who display signs of pregnancy without being pregnant. Not a good time to go crazy at the moment!

How are you going Jo?

Hi and hugs to Paula, Cindee and Buliej.

Oh Buliej, I've been seeing a naturopath since April and she's had DH and I on a course of vitamins and herbal supplements to nourish our body and help our baby-making bits along. She recommended that I saw a homoeopath to help with my emotions and she has been that and more. Through tonics that you take via drops in your mouth she helps me work through my emotions, reduce my tendency to dwell on things and get stressed about stuff that hasn't even happened, and generally just offer a comforting shoulder. I also had acupuncture for eight weeks and also found that great but it kind of clashed with the other two so I chose to drop it.

Hammi - thanks for the info. I'm going to explore some of these natural therapies.

Katie - I'm so happy for you that you & your DH can finally hold baby Anna in your arms - it must be the most wonderful feeling.

Helen - glad your scan went well & Rozzie - I'm looking forward to hearing about yours as well.

hi to everyone else...

Thanks for the encourgement but this BFN has just convinced me I one of those crazy women you're talking about - I've been convinced the past 3 months I was getting a BFP.

I'm sending all the positive vibes I can muster up for you though!

hi girls!
I have been a bit MIA and i apologise! My DD has head lice and everyone has had an opinion on it which is driving me crazy. she has long beautiful hair (if you've seen her in facebook photos) and everyone has said it is the perfect breeding ground for them. I have been combing and attacking them with natural and now medicated stuff and they won't budge. Doctors just told me to keep going and one lady said it took 12 mths for her DD's to go! :wall::wall::wall: I've heard everything from I'm lazy to I'm not doing it enough...arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! And now DS has it but thankfully not me...yet!!! lol! You should see my house right now -i have bed linen everywhere!!!!!!!!
rant over...
hi to DD0207 -don't think i officially welcomed you yet!:hello: I wish you did'nt have a reason to be in here but I am glad you have found us, the girls here are amazing!!! I am looking forward to hearing though about your AF - i think Katies test took a few days to show up and it does vary person to person which is frustrating in the meantime! i'll keep my fingers crossed for you...
Katie - you'll get a pm from me soon! you have been in my thoughts 24/7 but did'nt want to bombard you! i am so happy that Anna is giving you both so much joy! Don't leave us either...anna is our little symbol of hope!
hammi - we are shockers are'nt we - i love that you "secretly don't care" when you testing date is...my Af is due 2/12. i ahve had cramping on my left side the past few days but i think it is really just Af waiting to rear her ugly head.
hgirs - yay for your scan -i am so excited for you and it was wonderful to read about your moment walking out - we need those positive ones, no matter how fleeting!
rozzie - i teared up reading your post as it echoed where i am at too. Jacks angelversary is coming up on the 30th and i am starting to get really emotional, i always still have tears for him but evenmore so at the moment. I am supposed to be working that day and not sure wether i will be better or worse for it. Then a week and a half later i have madisons due date, its a hugley s****** time! sending you hugs! i was happy to see on my mum and dads claender they had jacks name on his date, it is heartbreakiing and heartwarming to see they they have acknowledged it on their own. And about the work and home situation -DH said i could quit work but i said what would i be home for? being home would only remind me of everything i have lost!
ok girls - gotta go! hi to all i have missed...kids are still asleep and we have to be gone in 30 mins! oops!!!
x jo

Hi Ladies,

Katie, I'm glad that you will be staying with us. It means a lot to me that you will keep giving us so much support. Have you had a chance to upload some pictures of Anna yet?

Helen, I am so happy to hear that your scan went well. The 12 week scan is amazing isn't it?

Rozzie, It is great to hear that your little bub is moving so much. Bub must be healthy and happy in there. Good luck on your ultrasound.

Lan, You very well could be aware that you are pregnant. I know with out a doubt that I am pregnant before I could ever have a positive test. This might be TMI but I'll tell you anyway....7 to 10 days before my Af is expected sex gets about 100X more enjoyable for me. It has not failed me yet. All 4 times it has happened and within a few days I had a positive test.

Everything is going pretty well here. I still have a week and a half until my 12 week scan and doctor appt. The long gap between appts. has been a little difficult for me. I think it is the not knowing what is going on in there. I broke down and got out my doppler lastnight. It was a very difficult decision because the last time that I used it I found out that Shelby's heart had stopped beating. I was able to find a tiny heartbeat with the volume turned all the way up. It did help me relax a little bit.

My SIL is also in the hospital having an induction. She is due next week but she has had high sugar levels for a while and now toxemia. I have not been able to talk to here for 3 months or so now. I am just so heart broken that she is going to be able to bring her little girl home and I was not able to.

Hi ladies, just a quick hello before I dash of for my commute again (boo hiss). Katie, you are like this poster girl for our group. All sleep deprived, with sore boobies, stitches etc. I want to be you right now, way more than I want to be Heidi Klum. He He.

Helen, yay for a great scan. Another milestone down, you must feel so relieved. I know I feel relieved for you :)

Jo, Lan and Diana: B.F.P. B.F.P. la la la, la la la, B.F.P. there, that was me doing a cheer leader dance (looking like Heidi Klum) to cheer on some BFP's... don't ask me to do it again, I'm a bit puffed.

Jo: Head lice, sounds like so much fun. I remember getting it when I was young, but thankfully have not had a problem with Ethan. I guess it is the long hair. Sorry I can't offer any advice, although it sounds like you've been getting more than enough!

Laney: sounds like you're having a bit of a rough time. Good on you for grabbing the doppler and getting the reassurance you needed. I can only imagine how your own heart must have been racing when you did it. Good that you got bub's heartbeat and here's hoping the next week and a half fly by for you. It is so bitter sweet when our loved ones get to bring home bubs. I don't have any sisters but a best friend who is like a sister. She is due around the same time as Charlie's birthday and I am ecstatic for her (she has had lots of trouble getting pregnant and also suffered a miscarriage) and she has been unbelievably supportive since I lost Chalie, she still calls me every second day to check on me. The thing is though that whenever I think of her getting to bring home a bub before me I get really sad. I have been pregnant 2 times and still no baby. I don't know what the answer is, I just try and be honest with her about my mixed emotions and she has been very understanding of them. I'm not sure what your relationship with your SIL is but if you are close you could maybe try that. If not then go with the avoidance strategy as much as you can. You have every right to protect yourself from as much pain as possible.

On a separate note, I was looking back through some old threads and found a post by Katie just before her 19 week scan. She was saying how anxious she was and I thought wouldn't it be nice if today's Katie could go back in time and tell 19 week Katie that everything was going to turn out just fine. in fact wouldnt' it be nice if all our future selves could come back in time to us now and tell us everything was going to be fine.

Anyway, enough of my time travel ramblings. Unless one of us is a crazy inventor in our spare time, it is fruitless, it was nice though to look at that post from Katie all that time ago and see how things ended up, it made me feel a little bit like a time traveller!!

Gotta run, hi to everyone else!

Goodmorning Ladies,

Firstly :dance::dance: for Helen and her scan. I am so happy for you. Isnt it so cool to be see bubs wiggling around.

Paula - How is your medications going??? is it all stabilised.

Diana - I agree with Hammi, I really thought I was getting my AF. I had spotting from basically 8 dpo and then when I did a test when I was due, it had such a faint positive, like I could hardly see it. I was squinting with the DH!!! The next day I went to the Dr and she also did a test and it was very light as well. But the GP sent me off for a blood test and all came back as I was pregnant and it was viable. So I will have my fingers crossed for you.

Rozzie - I am so sorry you are having a bad week. It is totally understandable to feel like this leading into your 22 weeks. I will be thinking of you at your ultrasound. Bubs must know you need reassurance and giving you lots of kicks....

Katie - So good to hear from you - wheres the pictures????? I am so glad things have settled down for you and getting yourself into a routine. Please Please dont leave us, we need you and I love hearing your stories.

Jo - Fingers Crossed for a BFP this month.

Laney - I hear what you say about the u/s and waiting so long in between. I have been a little stressing about it all as well. I had my last ultrasound at 13 weeks and wished that I had more in between the 20 week. But looks like I am waiting this out!!!! :hug: for you ie SIL.

Lan - also :pray: for a BFP for you this month.

Well with me, I am just hanging out for the 20 weeks scan. I have booked into my local GP for a reassurance doppler check on the 8 Dec as well.

Seem to be controlling GD with metformin and diet, so so far so good. Though I am still working out what I can eat and what I cant.

Hope everyone has a fantastic day.

xxx Sue xxx

Diana, anything yet? With my boys my BFP showed up loud and proud before my period was due, but with this one it was BFN up until AF was due, then so so so faint even after I was paranoid, but look what happened! Katie's was much the same to I think, so there is hope yet.
Jo - Coming from an ex-hairdresser......I have nothing for you, I'm sorry it has become a major issue in most schools, I think the only thing is perserverance, and then when you nail it, it seems to start all over again! My sister swears by a tea-tree oil and water spray that she mixes up and puts through the girls hair everyday (as a preventative) then try and plait her hair to keep it away from others. One last thing they actually like clean squeaky hair, can stick to it a whole lot better, not dirty/oily hair so if anyone throws in the 'only dirty kids get them', tell them to *&$%##%&!!!! OFF!
Lan - I think I can be one of those 'crazy ladies' I used to feel every bloody twinge, nausea etc!! Fingers crossed
Thanks everybody for your support it really does help, it just doesn't really happen in our everyday lives. We had a friend bring over his 15month old son on Sunday which was lovely but there was a moment when Corey was sitting with Toby on the couch and he had has hand sitting on his leg and rested his head on his shoulder, it was very cute, and then our friend says 'He needs a brother, look' I felt so defensive and wanted to say 'he already has a brother!', but there is no point as he has never felt the pain and hopefully never will. It just made me sad to think that to so many others Cooper doesn't or didn't exist. It is such a private battle, I am just so happy we can share our journey's here.
Hugs to all

Hi Jo, thanks for the welcome - can you cross your toes as well please! I'm so very sorry about your losses. I cried when I saw you lost 2 beautiful angels in your 2nd trimester. Sending you the biggest hug I can muster up and thinking of your during this absolutely sh*t week. My darling Sebastian was due on the anniversary of my mum's death so it was a double whammy for me on his EDD this month. I also toyed with the idea of having the day off but thought it best to keep busy - it didn't really work, I was a blubbering mess all day. Also sending you BIG BIG positive vibes for a BFP on the 2nd. Look forward to hearing some great news!Hope those head lice get extinguished soon!

Laney, I am very sorry for your losses as well. I can't believe you both lost 2 angels so late. How cruel and unfair it is - my heart is in my throat at the moment and tears are streaming down. I'm so very happy to see you are pregnant again though and wishing you all the very best for your 12 week scan. Can't wait to hear how it goes.

Mrs Robbo, I'm so sorry for your losses. You lost Charlie a few weeks before I lost my Sebastian. My heart is with you. Thanks for the dance! It made me laugh - and trust me I'm not much in the mood for it these days but you did it!!

AF has still not reared her ugly head yet today but I'm not hopeful. I know it can take a few days for a + but the HPT I used is a really sensitive one. I really don't understand what's going on with my body anymore. I'm sooooo emotional today and am sitting at my desk in tears. Prior to losing my angel I was pregnant twice before (sadly ending in loss). One of those times I fell on the pill, and the second time was 1st month not even trying! With Sebastian I fell 2nd month trying so without blowing my horn, I seem to be quite fertile. I know my body has been through alot with the 2 D&Cs and infection but am starting to worry there may be some underlying damage caused by my incompetent old OB. My FS seems to think all looks good on U/S but if I was able to fall so easily before, why not now??????????????? I was convinced Clomid was going to give me the boost I needed this month. Sorry for the rambling, I'm really depressed today.

Thanks Sue and Hgirs, I really appreciate your encouragment and support. Means the world to me. There may be a little glimmer of hope yet but I didn't even get the faintest of faintest lines. Boooooooo. Anyway keep you posted.

Hi to everyone else!

Diana x

Diana, you said you don't know what your body is up to, so I have to ask do you chart your temps?? ( here we go again obsessed temping lady, hehehe) Before I had Corey I had cycles anywhere up to 60 bloody days! I was about to go onto clomid to regulate them when I started charting, it helped imensely, at least I knew when I did ovulate (after the temp rise) so that helped take the guessing out of where is AF??? Hence haven't been able to flick the bug, but it certainly helped me know what was going on. Happy to say after having my boys my cycles now seem to be normal (YAY). I had chorioamnionitis in the placenta with Cooper and after reading (far to much) infection does increase the chance of endometrosis, which could play havoc with your cycle, has your FS ruled it out? Just a thought, don't mind me I like to think I might be helpful, my cousin's husband calls me Dr Helen, Ha Ha, funny bastard!

No, have never charted as my cycles were always regular before and could pinpoint O to the tee. I think I may start now that I know you'd be on the case Dr Helen! I'll have to read up on the how and when. Before taking Clomid this month, I was on monthly U/S checks with him after my loss and lining was always good (8-9mm), plenty of eggs, and even saw a mature follicle about to release last month. Never mentioned anything else - would he pick up endo on U/S?

Not sure what chorioamnionitis in the placenta is but sounds very nasty. Did it effect your cycles after losing your precious Cooper? How long were you trying before you fell with this lovely bundle?

Thanks so much for all your advice and support! Huge hugs.

Diana, from what I understand US usually don't pick up endo, I think the only way they can find out for sure is to do a laparoscopy, but it seems to look good in there, check with your FS next time. Chorioamnionitis is basically a generic name for infection that they cannot grow a culture from, it is a leading cause of pre term birth, the problem with me is they don't know if that is what started my labour or whether I had an incompetent cervix which let the infection in, the latter makes more sense to me, as I had a short cervix measurement on 18wk ultrasound, which didn't seem to worry anyone terribly much. Had another only 5 days later which measured just on 'normal', but I am not convinced, wish I had of gone with my instinct and pushed for another US. It didn't affect my cycles at all, infact I had never been more regular! We fell on our 3rd cycle, I did with the boys too!

Thanks Helen, sorry but am just confused about something. Are you saying you can actually get endo from an infection or the infection could flare up existing endo? I have never had a problem with that in the past... just need clarification. I will be seeing my FS soon so will have a chat to him about the possibility of doing a laparoscopy to be sure there is nothing going on in there. If it turns out I'm not pg this month, I want to speak to him about IUI for next cycle anyway - I'm so over my cycle being this unpredictable and I want to do whatever it takes now. Hmm sounds like IC came first for you if U/S showed shortening of the cervix. Will you be getting a stitch for this pregnancy or are they just going to monitor you more closely? I know what you mean about following your instinct... I didn't want to seem to neurotic and pushy with my OB and trusted that he knew what was best for me. I was embarrassed to ask for more scans when I knew something wasn't right. There will be absolutely no stopping me next time that's for sure.

Sorry I meant the infection can cause endo, so it is a possibility. They originally wanted to monitor me with fortnightly scans but I see the OB in 2 weeks and really think I would prefer the stitch.

Thanks for the clarification. Will definitely chat to him about it. Talk to your OB about your fears and getting a stitch. From my experience, OBs don't like performing the procedure because of the small risk of infection. I'm more willing to take that risk rather than the consequences of not having it. Don't want to scare you but just want you to be aware that my OB put me on a week of bedrest for a wait and see approach and that week was detrimental for me. I went from my cervix slightly starting to shorten to 4cm dilated in 7 days. Sorry I really don't want to scare you but I have found IC is such a hard condition to diagnose as there are so many variables and I've heard most OBs won't put a stitch in unless you have suffered from 2 or more late losses - and we just can't have that!

I feel like we have hijacked this thread for our own! I have been through the should I, shouldn't I, what if, scenarios and have pretty much come to the conclusion I will have the stitch, just have to confirm it with the OB who thankfully I just spoke with and he plucked an appt out of thin air for Thurs, after the clinic telling me I couldn't get in until the 9th Dec blah blah blah. Nothing like going straight to the top! I know what you mean about no stitch until 2 losses, well I am not prepared to lose another baby just to satisfy their criteria!

I know! Sorry ladies. Fantastic that he will see you so soon - you go girl! Can't wait to hear the update. Do you mind me asking what state you're from? I ask because I'm always on the lookout for an OB that knows about IC.

Can I have one more vent today please! I just called the clinic to ask if I could go in tomorrow for a preg BT as they said if I didn't get AF 10 days after my 21 day P4 test that I should go in. Well, today is 10 days after but she said "oh no, it's way too early to test now, wait a few more days at least". Does this make sense? Have left a message for my FS to clarify as he said "if you don't get your period on day 28 you are pregnant. There is no such thing as a late period on Clomid". I want to scream!

For someone who was scared to join this thread I sure have alot talking to do don't I??? :)

I am in Brisbane where are you? Honestly the run around I have had with the clinic sounds the same! They seem to be very blase.

Hi Diana & Helen,

You have been busy...... he he he

Helen - wanted to say goodluck for Thursday.... sometimes you have to insist on what you want and go with your gut feeling. Well done girl...

xxx Sue xx

I'm in Sydney Helen, guess Brisbane is a little far to travel even for a great OB!

Hi Sue!

BT crisis over girls. The witch reared her ugly fat revolting sinister head this evening :(

dd0207 - sorry that AF arrived

sorry no more to add - too tired tonight...

wow you girls -busy busy! i am tired just reading it all!! lol!
dd0207 - i am so sorry AF arrived!
hgirs - i am really happy about your apppointment on thurs! Its always amazing how they manage to get these miracle appointments is'nt it? either way -glad you got one!

as for me, got a letter from my professor at monash that was addressed to my OB (and a copy sent to me for reference) it basically said everything that i already know -no success rate can be given although he believes a have a small risk and wants me on asprin now and heparin possibly upon BFP. I spoke about it with my mum and she said that it was up to us to try again and she knows and understands i wanted 3 earth babies but to weigh everything up as she said it was heartbreaking as a parent to be useless with something like that and lose a grandchild in the process. Then she got teary. I will be forever grateful for my mum being one of few people away from this site to acknowledge our lost babies AS babies. That is the short version of the letter and convo, i wish i could scan it somehow but my printer is'nt working...
have a great day guys!
xx

Jo - I'm so sorry for your tragic losses.

I've been doing a bunch of research around my own medical situation and recent loss and came upon some info re: aspirin and heparin but nothing in depth yet. Can I ask, why is your dr putting you on those? (I'm trying to gather further information so that I can ask my dr informed questions about approaches, etc.)

Also, is this person your dr (you say professor)? Has your GP agreed - as I understand some fertility specialists aren't that supportive of this approach.

Thank you.

Hello Girls,

I thought it was about time that I introduced myself, I have been 'lurking' for a few weeks. I lost my little girl Jasmine on the 29th October (4-weeks ago), I was 19 weeks. Basically my husband & I found out at 12-weeks that something wasn't right due to a high NT result. We eventually found out (via a CVS) that she had moscasism, which means there was 'extra' DNA in her cells (70%), this was confirmed by an amnio at 16-weeks. The docs also detected a major heart problem, which was monitored and then confirmed by a cardiologist that there was only one valve in her heart (should be 2). By then there were other signs, an obstructed bowel, fluid increasing around the brain and the heart. She was also about 2-weeks behind in size. They couldn't say that these physcial signs were related to the DNA issue, but it was becoming likely. After 7-weeks of tests & checks to confirm everything I was given two choices, continue the pregnancy knowing that she would die at birth or shortly after (or I could miscarry) or terminate the pregnancy. As you can imagine, this was an awful decision. We didn't want to risk her suffering at birth and felt it was the kindest of the two terrible options to let her go while she was underdeveloped.

It has been hard knowing that I 'played a role' in her passing. I think it must be one of the cruelest things in life that a mother has to decide to do, she was very much loved & wanted.

Jasmine will never be replaced, but DH & I are thinking of TTC in the new year as we dearly want to start a family.

There's my story. I know it is different to how most of you lost your precious babies, I hope it's ok for me to join your thread and share the journey.

Love
Berry.

Berry - I am so sorry you had to go through such a horrible experience and make such a difficult - and totally understandable - decision. I hope 2009 is the start to a wonderful year for you and your DH.

Oops, I haven't posted for a while! I'm turning into a lurker.

dd0207: the story of how your OB handled himself after your loss really made me angry. The clinics here have often been irritated with me because I ring repeatedly and insist on knowing exactly what tests they've performed on me and exactly what all the results are -- shouldn't be a weird thing to ask for and shouldn't be hard to answer, either, but it's just not how they normally do things so, believe it or not, it can sometimes take me days to nag an answer out of them. I knew that they tested me for infection after I miscarried in the ER, but that was one of the many answers it took me weeks to weasel out of them. They said of course "If you'd had an infection we would have told you, so when you don't get an answer you can assume things are fine." They say the same whenever they check my thyroid levels and don't call back. But your story is EXACTLY why I nag -- I most certainly do not trust them enough to just figure no news is good news! I very much hope you have an OB now that is more thorough, because this is serious business! :comfort: I was sorry to hear that your AF arrived. Sorry if I forget, but have your cycles been OK since the infection or are they giving you trouble?

Happy to hear about Helen's good scan!

Rozzie, how are the kicks going? Mine are still pretty irregular -- some days Kebab won't let me be, and some days I get nothing. The midwife assures me that this is still ok. I hope yours continues to kick lots so that you can have the reassurance that you need, but I just thought I'd let you know that she thought periods of inactivity were still normal. It's frightening to me though because, unlike before week 20, fast action can actually save our bubbas now depending on what might go wrong. That winds me up quite a lot, wondering where the line goes between okay and not okay. :(

Katie -- so glad to hear that Anna is sort of relaxing into her new world. Being born certainly can't be that easy! I hope your drama queen doesn't take too much out of you!

Lan -- I don't have any scans on the horizon. I might have one week 28, as I'm supposed to make a new appointment with the high risk OB then, but otherwise I've had the two "normal" scans and now it'll just be midwife appointments with SF measurements and doppler stuff as long as things keep going so well. Knock on wood!

Jo -- here's a :hug: to keep you strong in the coming weeks. It was nice to hear that your mom and dad had Jack's birth date on their calendar -- it must mean a lot that they've made an effort to remember the date themselves. I hope your battle with the head lice is swift and decisive!

Laney -- hang in there as best you can. Is your scan next Thursday, or what day is it next week? Have you made a deal with your doc or midwife to be able to come in and check if you're scared? I think you need that in order to split up the long wait between scans and appointments.

Fleeting hellos to Paula and Sue -- sorry I'm sometimes not very good at personals. My head feels like it's full of mud lately.

Berry -- as usual, we welcome you here even though we wish you didn't have a reason to be here. I'm so sorry you had to lose your baby, and especially in the way that you did. You did what was best for your little girl, but I know that it must hurt enormously. Of course Jasmine can't be replaced, but I think it's great that you want to start trying again in the new year, and I'm happy that you've joined us.

Now we're starting to get a good crop of TTC girls in here! Let's see, Lan, Jo, Paula, Diane, buliej, and now Berry. We'll have to make complicated charts and graphs and calendars. Time to break out the baby dust!

hey girls!
buleij -i wrote you such a long post last night and it would'nt let me post it!!!:wall: So second time her goes - i was sent to Monash by my OB to get another opinion as with madisons ultrasounds some of the girls in here may remember there were some quite serious mix ups which turned out to be not true. When i went there for the ultrasound it was there i found out she had died at 22 weeks. So when i saw the Ob doc there she asked ifthey could take over her autopsy as they are a research hospital and are one of only 3 hospitals in VIc that have the experience to do a really extensive autopsy as on babies this young they are specialists in the area and she did'nt want to leave any stones unturned after what had happened to jack. So their testing on me, madison and the placenta (i got to go back tothe same hospital i had my other 3 kids in for comfort reasons and they were given strict written and verbal instructions of how to take a skin cell sample and retain the placenta in perfect condition for testing) came back with nothing at all. the only thing they could see was that she was only half her birth weight despite being the correct length for her age. i saw an Ob at monash for the tests results and because he was at such a loss as to why i have had 2 healthy kids and then 2 mid term losses he referred me to the director of Obsetrics in the hospital who is professor wallace. He has a huge history in Ob'ing and researching preg loss, esp late loss in particular. So essentially he was almost as high up the medical OB food chain in VIC as i could go. He thinks eventhough no clotting signs have shown up in me, madison or the placenta that there is something they have'nt discovered yet to test for that has led to her not being able to get the nutrients she needed resulting in her lack of body weight in a 2 weeks growth period. (every ultrasound up to my 20 week was normal) So he has recommended upon ttc that i start taking asprin at a 150dosage daily to thin my blood flow until my AF arrives, when it does i have to stop until it is over and then resume taking it. if there is a BFP then i continue taking it. Heparin has been recommended as a back up thinner but he takes that decision quite seriously and said it would have to be made at my 6 week ultrasound. I would take heparin until approx 28-30 weeks. he has offered to take me under his wing (:dance:) which eventhough he does'nt come with a happy outcome i feel good in knowing he is basically top of his field and would be getting at least the best advice. My Ob is fine with shared care as he really took madisons passing quite hard and would want only the best outcome. (he has been my Ob for 7 years) Hope my history and now situation helps you. i have googled like crazy too and asprin and heparin are still quite a do we, don't we treatment. Are you going to be seeing anyone soon?
tildy -HELLO!!! Glad to hear all is still going really well for you! And i agree with the nagging -its a must, what is'nt important to them can me the world to us! i wish the medical profession would be a little more sensitive to that.
berry - welcome! i hope you find us all a huge support for the new year! i am really sorry to read your story. i can't imagine how hard it must have been to make that decision, but you were doing what all mums do for their kids, looking after her!
gotta go girls! My essay to buleij took ages!! sorry!
xx jo

Thanks Jo for sharing your story - I'm so sorry you had to go through all that.

Since my question to you, I learned that my embryo had a chromosomal abnormality which caused the loss. So we have decisions to make about next steps in terms of what kind of tests to do and when to do them. We have my appointment with my FS next week and if I can't speak to her before, will ask them then - I actually typed them all out - quite a lot of questions I have! In the meantime, still waiting for my first AF post d&c which should arrive on 9 Dec-ish at the earliest.

Berry,

Welcome to our thread.

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your angel Jasmine :hug:.

That must have been the hardest decision of you and DH to make and I feel for you both.

Please stay and join our group. The ladies here are amazing and so helpful and full of information.

xxx Sue xxx

Hi Berry, sorry you have had to find yourself here but I'm glad you joined us. I'm only a newbie here but already have had amazing, immeasurable support from these beautiful ladies. I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious little girl. What a difficult decision to make but trust that you made the right one for Jasmine. Sending you big big hugs and alot of strength to get through this time. We are all here for you whenever you need to talk and look forward to sharing the TTC journey with you.:hug:

Hi Tildy, I can't believe these clinics and, like you said, we have to NAG to get answers about OUR own health! Particularly with something as important as our future fertility! God how mad it makes me too. I'm now an avid believer that all medics involved in the fertility area should read these forums as part of their curriculum. At least then they may truly understand how much suffering and hardship goes on with so many women when they don't treat us well, take us seriously or pass us off as neurotic. I shouldn't generalise as there are many wonderful nurses and OBs out there I'm sure but I'm yet to come across one with my experience. I just think there would be great benefit in them seeing how common IC is for example. My old OB said it was a very uncommon thing! Go figure?
My cycles are TOTALLY OFF THE PLANET since my loss. :wall: I was very regular before and could pinpoint O to the tee. That?s why I am now seeing a FS to try and get my body back to normal and try to speed things along a little.

I spoke to him last night actually and he wants to try FSH injections along with IUI this cycle as I think the Clomid is not suitable for me. I had no CM whatsoever, very very strong cramping, bad headaches and DH will probably put me into a mental asylum from the absolute feral mood swings I had! :D Anyone of you girls done this process and can offer info?

Helen, thinking of you today and can?t wait to hear how your appt went.

Jo, so great to hear you?re getting the best care. Sounds like they are on an absolute mission to ensure all goes well for you next time. Big hugs to you incase I don?t speak to you before Sunday. Will be thinking of you and hope you get through the day ok.:hug:

Buliej, hope AF arrives for you soon and good luck at your FS appt.

Hello to everyone else! :grouphug:

Hi Ladies,

Berry, Your story is heart breaking. I am so sorry that you and your DH had to go through that.

Tildy, I have no idea how you can find the strength to wait until 28 weeks for an ultrasound. I am going to demand one every week after 24 weeks. This bub will have a chance at that point. If there is a problem I want to know about it right away. I will be a mess if I don't.

As for me I have had a pretty hard week and it isn't even half over yet. I had bleeding on Monday and Tuesday. I saw my doctor but the ultrasound tech is on vacation and she is the only one that can use the machine :o. I had an ultrasound schedules for today. Ten minutes before I walked out the door I got a call telling me there was a mix up and my appt. was canceled. :wall: They can't get me in until Friday now due to Thanksgiving. I know the bub has a heartbeat and even if there is a problem they can't do anything about it. I just want to know. The not knowing kills me. I guess I will have an ultrasound this Friday and next. I am really starting to get mad about all of the medical mix ups that I have to stress about.

Hi Laney,

Sorry to hear about your bleeding, but it is good that they can find the heartbeat.

I hope Friday comes quickly for you. I will send you positive vibes.

xxx Sue xxx

Hi Laney, sorry to hear about the bleeding. I'm :pray: that all is well, which I'm sure it is. It must be so frustrating to be getting the run around with your appointments. Keep calling and nagging them if you're really worried to see if they can bring it forward?

Hiya Sue!

Hi Berry, I'm very sorry for your loss but Jo is right, you did what any mother would do for her child - look after her the best way you can. I hope your TTC journey is short and you'll have a baby to hold soon.

Medical terminology doesn't compute in my head but Diana, I'm glad you've got Helen to answer your questions :-)

I'm gagging to see pictures of Anna. I imagine a fat-cheeked baby because late babies are always plump. I love plump babies with their little fat rolls!!!

Laney... unbelievable that you've had bleeding! Enough already! I would be climbing walls if I were you but at least there is a h/b. Tildy had lots of bleeding but you can see that she is going strong.

Rozzie, where are you? Thinking of you.

Jo, I hope they know what they're doing with all those aspirins and heparins. I want us to get pregnant together and have our babies at the same time. Although I ceased TTC-ing this week because I had a sore tummy, probably from stress. The girls in my team are sh*tting me to tears. Hisssssssss!

Wow, you guys have been so busy!!
Berry - You are such a strong wonderful mother, to go through what you had to I could not imagine. Be assured your baby girl is saying thank you mummy for not letting her suffer. Welcome.

Laney - Bleeding is so scary, hugs to you, this is my first pregnancy touch wood that I haven't had any significant bleeding in the first trimester, bizarre.

Hi to everyone, well went in to my Ob appt with all my defence armour on, and didn't really need it! Basically he just said what you are asking is not unreasonable went through the pros and cons, gave me some medical study papers to read (which I think I have already read),and said how about next Wed?? All sorted, YAY!!! and I have to say I am pretty chuffed as he is the Head of Obstetrics and he will be doing the surgery. So I feel very relieved but now quite anxious that it will all be OK, as like he said (and I know) it isn't foolproof, things can still go wrong, but I am in a much better position for it to go right.
Gotta fly having another really busy day.

Hi Ladies, wow how busy you've been since I've been away!

Berry, sorry to have to welcome you to this group but glad you found us. My heart goes out to you and DH for the decision you had to make. I agree with the other girls that your angel Jasmine is thanking you and will be with you always. She will have lots of friends up there in heaven as you now have here with us :)

Everyone else seems to be travelling great guns. Laney, bugger about the bleeding but relieved that you have a heartbeat. So many of the girls here have had plenty of bleeding along the way so try not to stress. I can't believe all the trouble you've had with your US booking though. Don't these people know how much you already have to deal with without them adding to it.

As for me, AF is due tomorrow and DH and I have decided to run one more cycle and then TTC in late Dec/Jan. I can't remember my last post about my meds etc but I took myself off the thyroid meds as my own research showed I had gone from hypothyroid to text book hyperthyroid. I think I was only showing symptoms of hypothyroid because my progesterone was low. Since I have stopped taking the thyroid and only been using the progesterone cream I have felt amazing. My heart palpitations and shaky hands etc have stopped and I am no longer having panic attacks etc and worrying about dying every second of the day. I am like a new woman. I have not even had a single PMS symptom (very unusual for me) which is a miracle considering I have been stuck on a train for 3hrs every day in peak hour commute.

Anyway, right now I so want to start ttc this month and so desperately want to be PG but I am also worried that as the thyroid stuff had such a strong effect on me that it might still be in my system and muck stuff up with the bub. I'm not sure I could handle the stress of worrying about that on top of everything else when I do get PG. On the other hand I have had such an amazing result with the progesterone cream that I feel like I have found the answer I've been searching for.

If you girls starting coming back with BFP's I probably wont' be able to help myself. It would be so lovely to have a BFP for xmas wouldn't it. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED!!

Xmas is such a tough time isn't it. DH and I were talking about what to get Ethan today and he is at that age where a trampoline or cubby house would be perfect but I always pictured that being a gift santa would give to 2 kids and the thought of him having no-one to play in it with just makes me so sad. DH pointed out that there really is no point waiting because even if all goes well with the next pregnancy, it will still be 2-3 years before the new bub will be ready to play in cubby houses etc. By then Ethan will be 7 or 8 and maybe too old for it.

It just makes me angry because... well... you all know why, I should stop raving now.

hugs to all and I can't remember who said they were getting the baby dust out (Tildy i think), good idea, we haven't needed it in here for awhile.

love
Paula

Hi ladies,

Berry, welcome and big hugs. You have had to be very brave to do what's best for your daughter and I hope you can find comfort and an outlet for your issues in this forum as I have.

Paula, so glad to hear you're feeling better!! Your story about Christmas is sad, there are so many issues with Christmases after losing a baby aren't there?

Helen, that's great that the OB is taking your case seriously and doing the surgery personally. It sounds like you're in safe hands. I hope the surgery goes well for you.

Katie, where are our pictures of Anna?! stop hogging her all to yourself :)

Lan, I'm still here, reading every day. Sorry to hear the girls in your team are being difficult.

Laney, so sorry to hear about your bleeding and medical mix-ups :( really not what you need at the moment is it. But you know there's a heartbeat and you're on clexane so you're probably fine, try and relax and enjoy your holiday (I assume you get a holiday for thanksgiving, obviously we don't have it here)

Diana, so sorry to hear your cycles are all over the place... is it possible that stress and worry are making your cycles abnormal? That's what the doctors told me was happening. At least the FS is trying to get things going.

Bulliej, it must have been hard to get the pathology results back for your bub... I guess at least you know why it happened and that it was beyond your control. I hope you get the answers you need from your appointment.

Jo, I just wanted to say that Clexane and aspirin is probably a really good thing... there are clotting factors they haven't discovered yet and sometimes there is no evidence even though that is the problem. My high risk OB told me that clexane and aspirin help with the implantation and devlopment of the placenta and are low risk. I hope that taking it can give you a little bit of confidence. Also, that was so lovely of your mother... I think part of the isolation we feel is that other's don't share our grief or appreciate how important our angels are, it's lovely that your family does.

Hi to all the other ladies

As for me, tomorrow is D-day, the day in the pregnancy Edward died :( I'm feeling not too bad. We have some stuff planned for the weekend to try and distract ourselves, seeing the new bond movie and having dinner and whatever else we feel like. I think on Tuesday I'll feel better as it was Fri- Mon that the whole saga unfolded. It will feel quite strange to be further along than I ever got last time, but very nice. Bub is still kicking like mad at time, he/she has loads of energy sometimes and seemingly more than four limbs!!! Ultrasound next wednesday and finally see the doctor (haven't seen him since 12 weeks).

Love Rozzie

wow!
everyone is right -it has been a busy day! but i love getting on and seeing all these messages -preferable nice happy ones!
laney -sorry -still have'nt emailed you! time is going someplace i don't know where!!! but I AM happy to hear you have a heartbeat and i can't remember who said but they used Tildy as an example of bleeding and still a wonderful progressing preg so I know you must be at least a bit stressed but try to keep positive! THERE IS A HEARTBEAT!! Thats great!!!
Hammi - i have a bad feeling that this month is not my month so i have dec but am skipping Jan TTC as that would result in more Oct earth babies and i have 2 already in that month!! (plus their cousin) i would love us to be BFPing at the same time too!:bluedust::crossfingers:
Rozzie -if i could reach through the screen and hug you now i would! Take care tomorrow and i hope there is at least some happy memories of edward that you can think of in your grieving to get through the day a little easier...:hug: Thanks for your feedback on the treatments too! its always nice to have some more personal backup!
mrs robbo -gee you are eager too! ha! you'll probably beat me and hammi to the BFP...you wait!! lol! next month is not that far away....but am so glad you are feeling better emotionally and physically. it just makes the hugest difference! get the cubby house...we bought the kids a new one for this house as we had to leave the old one at the old house and we bought it thinking these kids are still young enough to enjoy it but thinming at the time that Madison would get the use out of it too...so i get your train of thought. But they are sooooo fun!!! Em talks to herself like there are 1000 people in the room with her so they'll encourage that imaginative play even on their own.
hgirs -yay for next wednesday!!its all falling into place for you...
gotta go and finish tea...more personals next post!
xx jo

Hello Ladies,

Thank you to everyone for their kind words of welcome & support, it's been so overwhelming to hear back from so many of you in such a short time!

I think it will take a while for me to get to know everyone and where you are at in your journey.

Laney, sorry to hear about the bleeding, as many have said this is not uncommon, a heartbeat is fantastic, all the best. Rozzie, thinking of you tomorrow, enjoy the time out with your DH and importantly enjoy your little ones kicks of reassurance.

Here's to Christmas babies for those that are trying. Thanks again to everyone, you have been wonderful.

Berry

Just a fast hi to everyone...

Rozzie - I hope you can find a way to make tomorrow special in a way that brings you peace and not too much pain.