Trying to Conceive after Stillbirth/Late Loss/Recurrant Miscarriage October

Welcome buliej

Please join our thread, these ladies are amazing.

They have helped me so much and keeping me sane in my current pregnancy.

xxx Sue xxx

:leap::leap::leap::thumbsup::happyforyou::happyfor you::happyforyou:
Anna Francis WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am so excited and happy and in tears for you Katie and DH, WOW, what can I say!

Welcome buliej, you will find lots of comfort and support here, and as you just witnessed miracles do happen!

YAY!!!! Welcome baby Anna. Congrats to Katie, DH and big brother Nathaniel.

Sue, don't you dare leave this thread.

Hi Buliej!

[COLOR="Magenta"][SIZE="7"]finally!!!!![/COLOR]
[SIZE="4"]Anna you kept us waiting![/SIZE]
Big big congrats and hugs to you all! i am so happy for you all, treasure this very special time!!!:grouphug: it is only the start of many special memories! Anna Francis is a beautiful name! I have no doubt that Nathaniel is sharing in these moments too...

hi again!
wanted Katies message to be on its own but its all screwed up! sorry Katie!!!
anyway, the rest of you -
Buliej - feel free to join in..no need to lurk in here!
hammi - you make me smile! You are so funny with your little TTC things and the way you put them.I have no vibes this month, I never get anything major anyway so i would never know...just had some mild cramping but put that down to ovulation and constipation and the runs which is very normal for me anyway (gotta love TMI in this forum!)...I am due on the 2nd of dec but it may be late more due to stress from jacks date on the 30th more than anything!
syran -i second hammis "don't you dare leave this thread!" We are all here for you!
tildy? hope you are ok!!!!!! Please drop in soon and let us know how you are going....
need to shop on ebay now...work has just put a theme on our party and what i was going to wear i have to change! :wall: Want something a bit spesh!
x jo

Yay for Katie!!!! Can't wait to hear some pics of your gorgeous girl. It sounds like it was a very quick labour!!!:happyforyou:

Lan, I'm stil around, and no DH has not got lucky since, it's almost 2 weeks now!!! We had both sets of family here last weekend and during the week I'm tired so timing has not seemed right.

Lots of babydust to the three ladies trying this month or next, we'll need some new ladies just to actually call this a TTC thread because we'll all be pregnant!!! That includes you Bulliej, you should know that this thread leads to quick BFPs!!!

So sad about Stickybaby... I don't know how ladies like her keep their chins up. Having children already doesn't give you the option of falling apart I suppose. After our loss, DH's best friend's mother (who he's quite close to) told him that after her first 2 kids she had something like 12 consecutive losses between 13 and 26 weeks due to placental abruption before she finally had her son (who is the friend and who didn't know about it before). A very brave and determined lady.

As for me, bubba is kicking lots which is lovely. Next weekend is the 22 week mark. I tried to book us into a spa retreat that does pregnancy treatments for the weekend but they were fully booked. Instead I'm trying to fill the weekend with fun and distracting things. It's fri- mon that's the issue, because last time it was on Friday I stopped feeling movement, worried all weekend then had it confirmed on Monday.

Had a bit of a breakdown the last couple of days, just thinking about Edward. Lan's picture of Hamish was so amazingly beautiful and I wish I could have something like that but our photos aren't that great. Our best photo is one where is eyes are actually open, no-one else seems to have pics like that. I took it out on DH of course. Sometimes I feel like we're the only people who care that he existed and grieve for him, our families have been supportive but I don't feel like they feel it as a personal loss. My parents have other grandchildren. I know Alec's dad was very sad as he was the first grandchild, but still. It feels very isolating sometimes.

Anyway, enough wallowing, hope everyone else is doing well, I think Tildy and I are the next to be due, but in a long time! After we give birth there are heaps of us due within a month or two, will be lots of good news on here then.

Love Rozzie

Oh, Katie, yay! I was so happy to wake up to your news today! Welcome, Anna Francis! We've all been so anxious for your arrival!

Laney, I can understand you being nervous about scans, even if I seem in the minority in that I didn't find out about Beiron's passing at a scan. Every time we have had one I've held my breath until we saw the heartbeat or the nurse said things were okay. Take it one step at a time, and smile and celebrate the successful 12 week scan when you have it at least for a little while before beginning to worry about the next one.

Jo, I know it will be tough that your friend's baby is named Jackson. But if they hadn't used the name, you'd hear it in other places, especially if it is common. I think you're right, that you can't go around being angry at them for using that name. I hope you're not offended by the following comparison, but we have close friends who sort of had "joint custody" of a black lab with a friend of theirs, but the lab had to be put down at just 5 years old after years of suffering with a chronic hip problem. Last year our friends bought a new black lab, and the girl they'd shared the previous one with got angry and stopped speaking to them. It was too hard for her. But then the same girl actually had a baby, and she came to a different kind of peace about losing the dog she'd cared for for so long (he required lots of extra help and love) and was able to make friends again and accept our friends' new pup. It's so hard being reminded of a painful loss, but I think the solution is always time and acceptance.

Yup, Lan, I'm still using the doppler. The movements are still sporadic, and in fact, it sort of feels like they're occuring less and less often. But I do feel some movements at least once a day, usually in the evening after dinner when I'm lying on the couch watching TV. It was funny on Saturday actually; we were at a friend's for dinner and they started talking about birth order and all the extra responsibility that the first-born ends up having, and Kebab started kicking lots! S/he didn't like hearing how much work was ahead... I think every other day is a good TTC schedule, Lan! We were doing every third day the month we got pregnant with Beiron, and every other day in the two months we were TTC for Kebab.

I can imagine that Stickbaby's news hit you hard, Sue. In fact, you guys used the same ticker, so when I saw her news I actually thought it was you for a moment. I got really, really upset when I thought it was you, since I was so routing for your miracle baby and I know you better than I know her. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm saying I was relieved that it was her, because believe me, I see that she's had 6 losses before and I can't believe that anyone has had to be through that much. But I hope it's okay for me to say that I'm glad your bubs is hanging in there! BTW, how are things going with your GD? Isn't it very early to get that? I'm sorry you have to have the extra... uh, damn, my English is for **** this morning. Sorry about the extra "bekymmer" is all I can come up with, and you'll have to settle for a Swedish word! Anyway, I'm concerned about getting GD myself as I'm mildly obese, and I've been doing a terrible job of eating healthily during this pregnancy. I'm hoping luck will be on my side, as so far I have such good red blood counts and sugar levels that the midwife thinks I'm an overachiever.

buliej -- welcome to our thread. We need some more TTC ladies around here since, as the others were telling you, it doesn't seem to take us long to go from TTC to pregnant! I suppose we should stop saying that in case it puts too much pressure on Lan, Jo and Paula... don't worry, we'll still be here pulling for you even if it doesn't go BFP on the first try! :)

Jo - what kind of theme on the work party? Sounds fun! I think you should dress up like Elvis, no matter what the theme is. I dare ya! But since you asked, things are going okay for me. Kebab isn't kicking all day every day like I'd prefer, but the doppler helps me confirm that s/he is still ticking. Otherwise, I'm fighting a sinus infection that won't go away and the antibiotics are giving me a yeast infection. :redface: So Kebab is good, but the packaging around him/her seems to be slowly falling apart!

Rozzie, people are probably less likely to express support and grief about Edward now that you're pregnant again. But they're bad at it in the first place, I know. I'm not sure if there's much we can do about it, as it seems like our losses are felt so very deeply but are difficult to understand for outsiders -- even, in fact, ones who have had similar experiences. But my god, can we really be the next ones that are due? Things are really going quickly with these bellies. Try to hang in there over the next week or two as you pass the 22 week mark. I know you'll sail by it unscathed, but it won't be easy mentally. Enjoy those kicks!

Wooooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o, all the way home on the train tonight I was thinking about you Katie and just hoping I would walk in, turn the computer on and see the good news. Welcome gorgeous little Anna Francis. it sounds like you and DH are in newborn heaven. I guess we wont be seeing much of you in here from now on, you'll be up to your neck in nappies and feeding and all those other lovely things that you have waited so long to enjoy. Just the thought of you and DH cradling your beautiful daughter and taking in her sweet newborn scent brings tears of joy to my eyes. What a clever duck you are!!

hugs and kisses to baby Anna and don't forget to post some pics ASAP!!

Paula
xox

PS. Hi to everyone else. Am lurking this week with no time to post but am thinking of you all and especially looking forward to some Lan and Jo BFP's.

Thanks for the warm welcome!

You ladies have so much courage - it's so impressive...

Unfortunately, I'm in a bit of a waiting period. I just had a D&C last Tues (9 days ago). I think I just finished bleeding (TMI - sorry). So now it's the wait until AF arrives. In the meantime, I'll be doing acupuncture and trying to lose the few pounds I put on over the last month.

I can't wait to hear about more BFPs....

Welcome Buliej, you've landed in a great place. I never feel that courageous but I definitely think our courage comes from this group. So sorry to hear about your losses but glad that you are here on the ttc threat and contemplating a hopeful future. Good luck with the acupuncture and the weight loss. Im on a similar mission myself. Not sure if I'll be ttcing with Jo and Lan next month. First of all they will probably have BFP's by then and secondly I may not be quite ready to go health wise. If not though it will be a good opportunity to lose a few spare kg which I don't really need!

Keep in touch and lean on us if you need. I know this group saved my life in June when i lost my daughter so don't feel like you have to get through this alone. I look forward to getting to know you.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD ANNA! I can't wait to see some pictures of this tiny little girl.

Tildy, I wish I could take it one scan at a time and celebrate some milestones. I am just not that kind of person. I am always thinking and worrying about what is to come. My history gives me too much to worry about and it is almost impossible to expect a different outcome for this bub. I have a tiny bit of hope due to the heparin. I try to tell myself that every pregnancy is different.
There are a couple of ladies due before you. Michelle71's little *Edna* is due in a few weeks. ButterflyWarrior is also due in a couple of months. The pregnancy thread has been extra quiet for months so I haven't chatted with them in a long time.

Buliej, Welcome. I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I am glad to hear that your bleeding has stopped so soon. After I had a D&E it took 2 months. I was also pregnant again within 3 months.

Rozzie, I will be thinking of you over the next week. Keep yourself busy.
I understand how you are feeling. Sometimes the way people talk about Parker and Shelby blows my mind. They say such insensitive things that they feel will help me if they talk about them at all. After I lost Parker my dear friend who has experienced a loss herself told me that it wasn't good timing for a baby anyway. We would be ready the next time I got pregnant. We were just buying a house because my husband started a new job. I find myself avoiding people all together now. I pretty much alienated/isolated myself from everyone. I hope bringing home a healthy little bub will help me get past everyone's shortcomings in the support department.

Lan, I have to go back to some of the same ultrasound places. I wanted to keep my doctor so I will have to have more done in his office. I will also have to go back to the high risk office where I had all of my scans with Shelby. I really don't think the room makes much of a difference to me. They are horrible no matter where I am. I will never go back to the place where I found out about Parker. The woman was rude and insensitive. She just wanted to get rid of me so she could do her next appt. I wish that I could take some BB ladies with me for that 17 week scan.

I think that is a good idea. I am going to have to find some projects to fill my time. The fact that I work from home makes my days a bit long. The holidays have been speeding up time. I have started shopping which keeps me busy on the weekends.

Jo, I don't know why but I thought your testing day would be sooner. My scan is on the 5th, I hope we both get good news.

Parker's EDD is Dec.3rd. I want to do something to remember him on what should be his first birthday. It should help me stay busy and not think about my upcoming scan.

Hi ladies, my name is Diana and I've been a lurker on your thread for a few months now. I wanted to join you so many times but felt that I didn't want to intrude as you all seemed to have formed amazing relationships and have gotten to know each other so well. I read your posts almost every day and just want to say I am very sorry for your losses and the suffering you have all endured and congratulations to the ladies that are now pregnant again! So fabulous!! Today I just had to post as I'm also so happy for Katie! CONGRATULATIONS, such wonderful, exciting and inspirational news. Welcome to the world beautiful little girl.

So I hope you don't mind me joining in. To tell you a little about myself I suffered a late loss in July due to an incompetent cervix and lost my little boy Sebastian - I am still deeply sad and yearn for him each day but BB has helped me so much that I really don't know where I'd be today if it weren't for the amazing, encouraging, sympathetic ladies on this forum.

I had some major complications after his birth with an acute infection which required 7 weeks of anitbiotics and 2 D&Cs to clear retained placenta products. I won't go on with too much detail (my story is "sad and new" in the loss section) but we are now on the TTC journey again... "Calling all Clomid experts" is one of my threads too and the thread is just below this one.

Briefly, DH and I are now seeing a FS now because of the complications I had and since the loss my cycles have been utterly off the planet. I ovulated regularly on my own before but now I'm not so sure as my cycles are anywhere from 40-45 days. My FS put me on 50mg of Clomid to try help regulate my cycle and I ovulated this month so fingers crossed :pray:

I'm looking forward to getting to know you all a little better and supporting each other on our journey.

Oh hugs for Rozzie, Jo and Laney for the scary anniversaries/milestones coming up. Thinking about what you're about to face gives me chills. You're not alone.

Rozzie, you can have a potrait of Edward. The artist does make adjustments. Hamish was very, very red but she made him newborn colour. She also gave him some hair and eyebrows because of course he wasn't old enough to have any. Another mum who recommended her to me told me that her baby had his mouth open but she asked the artist to draw him with his mouth closed and she did a wonderful job. I hope you don't mind me asking, but Edward's eyes were opened? Hamish's were still fused shut. One of my many, many, many regrets is that we never got to see his eyes.

Paula, I'm not a first-striker so I'm pretty sure we'll be TTC-ing together. Is the progesterone cream making any changes to you? Is it uncomfortable?

Crap, it's 9.50am and I've done no work. Best go. Catch up you guys later. Love and kisses to you all!

DD0207, you are very welcome to join us in here, after all we kinda need some TTCers! We are resembling more the preg thread at the moment! I hope your journey is as swift as most of ours have been, and that we all get to bring home our baby's just like Katie.

I have a question for Sue or anyone that knows about IVF, I have just received a text from my cousin, she went in this morning to have a scan to see how many eggs she had produced but her text says it didn't work and they have cancelled the cycle. She is too upset to talk about it right now, but I am just wondering whether she would have any eggs at all? And would she still ovulate naturally if that was the case? I guess I am just clutching at straws and hoping there is still a chance for her.

Thanks for the welcome - yes it does seem like a pregnancy thread - I'm hoping there is a pattern here and it brings me loads of luck!!

Sorry, I don't know much about IVF but I wish your cousin the best of luck.

Good morning Ladies,

Hoping you are all well.

Katie - I am still so excited about the arrival of baby Anna. So looking forward to seeing some pictures.

Laney - I am so scared of ultrasounds also. Each time for one of my losses, this is how it is found. But I am getting better. For my next scan on 19 Dec, the day before I see my Ob and I will make sure he uses the doppler machine to check for heartbeat and then I am sure I will feel better after that. Do something special on the 5th, go spoil yourselves for Parkers EDD.

Helen - Good luck for your scan on Monday. Look forward to hearing your exciting news. :dance: With IVF, it could be, but I am guessing is that they may have over stimulated her overies and she is producing too many eggs and need to stop the process as this could be quite dangerous. This never happened to me, but I have heard of others that this has happened to.

buliej - Even though you arent TTC at the moment, you are still welcome to join us and ask any questions. Good Luck with your weight loss and acupuncture.

Rozzie - Great to hear that bubba is kicking. 22 weeks - how that has flown, but it is understandable that you are feeling nervous, just take it a day at a time and try to keep busy and spoil yourself.

Hammi - an absolutely gorgeous picture of Hamish. I totally loved the idea and think it is a beautiful reminder of your little boy.

Paula - Good luck in TTC and also weight loss. I have put on so much weight from being on clomid, IVF etc and it is a real concern for me, now being pregnant. But luckily I don't seem to be putting on a huge amount of weight and the Ob doesnt seem concerned. Now with the special GD diet, I probably will put on the minimum.

Tildy - I would love to buy a doppler, but am so scared to. Though I am lucky that my GP says to come in any time I need reassurance. GD - well I knew I was going to get it, but I didnt think so soon. Though my Ob yesterday said it was good they have picked it up so early and that I can start looking after myself now. I am also midly obese, but also have PCOS with Insulin Resistance (which doesnt help). How is the sinus and yeast infection going??? you poor thing....

Diana - Welcome to the TTC thread - I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Sebastian, I wish you all the best in your TTC Journey. I have been on clomid also, but I did ovulate pretty regular every month, but my FS was trying to give me a better chance of pregnancy (unfortunately didnt work), but it did bring me to ovulate earlier..

Well with me, I went to the Ob yesterday and all is still going well. Didnt have a ultrasound, but he did use the doppler and said the baby was kicking away and could hear the heartbeat (which made me feel better, especially after stickybabys story).

I also found out at work, that I get 8 weeks paid maternity leave :dance: which is an added bonus. I have worked at the same company for over 23 years, so I am hoping that they will be nice and flexible for me.

Sorry for the long posting, and hoping everyone is well.

xxx Sue xxx

HI dd0207 - I'm like you - I lurked and was so impressed with this group's strength and support - and then was overjoyed to read Katie's post that I had to make myself known. I hope you are right and this group's luck will rub off on us.

hgirs - re: IVF - there's really not enough info in the text to tell what happened. but it may be that your cousin only produced 1 or 2 eggs and either the FS decided (or decided together with your cousin) that it wasn't worth going forward with the retrieval or that she had OHSS. What you can't know from the text is whether it was indeed the foregoing situation or whether she actually produced no eggs. There's so many factors - age, PCOS, etc. that may have an impact on the decision. I spend all my time looking at the age factor!

Sue - glad things are going well - that's wonderful news.

I have found bellybelly so helpful - there's many, many threads on IVF - you might want to suggest to her that she take a look when she's ready.

Dear Buliej,

I understand how you feel about the age factor, as that has been bought up many times with me.

Though when my FS checked my egg supply, I had plentiful (when I did IVF) and really didnt have any problems with fertilisation etc in IVF. I think many of my problems is to do with my hormone levels (eg sugar etc), which is causing the problems. When I increased my dosage of metformin, I fell instantly pregnant - maybe this has something to do with it.

Also with this bubs, my Ob talked to me about having NT Scan (downs, trisomy test etc) and I think he was leaning towards me not having this testing, as because of my age, I have a good chance of have a "high" risk result. Well I got the complete opposite, my results were fantastic for may age and my bloods bought up the result so much, that I am way above the "low" risk for downs, trisomy etc.

So yes age does increase certain factors, but I think it also depends on the person and their make up....

xxx Sue xxx

hi everyone..
Congratulations katie your little girl anna will bring you so much joy.

Sue, thanks for the warm welcome and congratulations on the great NT result! You must be over the moon.

Buliej, it think it's going to be hard for us to keep up for a while but we'll get there!

To all you other lovely ladies, I will keep reading your posts to familiarise myself with your situations so please bear with me... I'm certain I'll catch up soon!

You guys have been busy while I've been trying to sleep!

"Trying" seems to be the optimal word lately. I'm either awake because so much mucus is running down my throat and I can barely breathe, because my sinuses have dried up so much that it stings to breathe, because my jaw and head and face hurt, because I'm coughing non-stop after thinking that I've kicked this thing, or because Kebab has deciding to start doing karate and I can't just sleep while that's going on! So this sinus infection is sort of having very dramatic ups and downs, and I'm pumping the yogurt and no-bottoms-in-bed and such to try to get through the last few days of antibiotics without this yeast infection breaking out for real.

Don't worry about any TMI, buliej. If I'm talking about vaginal itch, then you can talk about bleeding, it's okay. ;) It's good that you're trying to boost your health a bit before you start TTC again. Good luck with the accupuncture and the few pounds you want to take off.

And welcome, Diana! I'm glad that Katie's/Anna's birth have flushed some new ladies out of the woodwork! It sounds like you had a lot of unnecessary salt in your wounds, so to speak, after losing Sebastian. Has your body fully recovered from the infection, did they monitor it closely? I think there are a lot of ladies around these forums using clomid and similar meds, so I bet you'll get lots of info exchange.

Paula, I'm with you -- I don't know if I feel courageous. I sort of feel like half the woman I was a year ago in a lot of ways. But I'm hoping that will take an upswing! With the way you're pushing on with your education and the new job, as well as being strong after losing Charlie (even if you don't always feel strong!), I think you're courageous!

Laney -- I understand, I'm not that kind of person, either. I won't try to convince you that you can take it one scan at a time then, because I recognize myself in your description. I also understand that you have so many weeks left before you pass the weeks of Parker and Shelby's passings, and with another loss fresh in your heart, it's very difficult to look towards that goal of holding your healthy baby in 30 weeks and actually believe that it will happen. I hope that when that day comes, all these weeks will feel like they have passed quickly. I also know what you mean about isolating yourself -- at least from certain people. I have backed away from a good friend of mine whose comments after Beiron's passing were just too much for me to get out of my head, even though she experienced a long and difficult TTC and a loss before having her baby. It was along the same lines as the "it wasn't a good time" comment; she kept telling me how "these things happen for a reason" and she now thinks she's being super encouraging by saying "see? This is the baby you were meant to have!" about Kebab. It just doesn't sit right with me.

Lan, portrait of Hamish really is beautiful.

Helen, how long has your cousin been working on the IVF? Hopefully this is just a rocky beginning for her rather than something she's been struggling with for some time?

Sue -- sounds like things are going great in there. Did you get to hear the heartbeat too, or did your OB just listen? The home doppler we have has headphones (but two jacks, so DH and I can listen together) but my midwife's doppler plays out loud. She actually had a practicing midwife there last week (sooo many students all the time, it's a university town) who tried to do the doppler, but my midwife got fed up with her after 7 or 8 minutes and did it herself. :P

Hi Tildy, thanks for the welcome. I feel right at home here already. Sorry you're feeling so unwell, I hope you get better very soon and congratulations on your pregnancy! I am also very very sorry for your loss.

I believe my body has now recovered but my old OB did nothing to monitor me after my loss. If it wasn't for me being so paranoid (and thank goodness I was) and calling him every 5 minutes, who knows where I would have ended up. Infact, I had to push to see him before I got my 1st curette because he kept saying the bleeding was normal after such a late loss. It was at this appt that he decided to look at a report in my file and said "Oh you also have an acute infection" - this BT was taken just after the birth so by this stage had the infection for over a week - I was so cranky that he had been sitting on that report for a whole week and didn't call me! Anyway, after the 1st D&C I was still bleeding quite heavily after a week so again went to see him, he did an US and said "I'm confident everything looks great, I'm happy with how the procedure went". Sorry, the saga continutes... Then, after another week of heavy bleeding after that checkup, I went back again and he did another US and said "Hmmm I'm not so confident as I was last week, I can see that you still have retained placenta that I must have missed". WTF? How can you look one week and it's clear and 2 weeks later it's not??? That 2nd D&C was touch and go too - I was bleeding so heavily the nurse said if it didn't stop soon I may have faced a hysterectomy! They put me on a drip to help contract the blood vessels in my uterus and after about 6 hours the bleeding was deemed "normal" by D&C standards. Thank you God...

So sorry for the long, drawn out explanation above - I have never actually written about the details in any of my threads but felt right at home to do so here. Well I must say I feel so much better now...

Anyway, needless to say I have since dumped him and am seeing a FS now.

D x

Hi all,

Diana, I'm glad you have now found a doctor you're comfortable with, it's such an important thing when you're TTC after a loss. Your old one sounds like a lemon. From what I understand infections with incompetant cervix are very common and he should have checked for it straight away.

Buliej, welcome!! I look forward to getting to know yourself and Diana.

Lan, Edward's eyes being open was a little odd, I know they're supposed to be fused shut at 22 weeks. As I had a C-section under general I didn't see him till well after the birth, and one eye was slightly open and the other closed. The pictures weren't great so I asked DH to open both eyes, took some pics then we closed both. He was also a normal skin colour, not bright red as he should have been, because he was very anaemic, which is why the autopsy thought that bleeding may have been a cause. I think I will get the portrait done. I haven't looked at his pictures for a while though, I've sort of avoided it because I get so upset and have tried to avoid getting too worked up during this pregnancy. It sort of worked until this week but not so much now.

Hi to all ladies, looking forward to more good scan news from those having them shortly.

Love Rozzie

WOW we've had an adreniline rush of posts in here in the last day or so. How wonderful.

Firstly, welcome Diana. I'm so glad you felt comfortable opening up here. And don't worry about long rants. We are all partial to them from time to time and it is such a good way to process your thoughts as you are typing and thinking. It is also good to get positive reinforcement that you are normal and not a freak. Which I always think I am by the way!!

Helen, I'll be thinking of you on Monday and looking forward to hearing good news when I get back on Monday night.

Tildy, thank you for the boost of confidence and I'm so sorry you are still not feeling great. Lovely that Kebab has taken up karate though. Lets hope all the bubs in this thread have his enthusiasm for kicking. What a lovely reassurance it must be for you.

Hi to Lan, Rozzie, Sue, Jo, Katie, Laney, Cindee, Bulije and I'm sure I've forgotten half of you but not intentionally, I'm just friend from the 3hr commute ever day this week.

I've had a shocker but have ended the week feeling not too bad. As you know I've been on thyroid meds for a month or so and have just started the progesterone cream. I felt great after a day or so on the cream but then was having borderline anxiety attacks earlier in the week. My heart was racing, my hands shaking and I was convinced I was dying. It turns out I had gone from hypo thyroid to hyper. Apparently the progesterone can alleviate the need for high thyroid doses. Anyway, I am experimenting with the levels and feel like I am getting there. At least now I know what my body gets jittery etc and am not panicking as much. I'm not sure that ttc will be an option next month but am hopeful for Jan. I am so desperate to be pregnant again with a little bub on the way, but I am also terrified and want to be in as good health as I can.

On another note, DH just came in before asking if my friend has had her bub yet (referring to Katie), I have been rushing home and straight on the computer and he is always asking. Anyway, when I told him yes, he started woo hooing and came in to give me a high five. It seems he was just as anxious as the rest of us that Katie got to bring baby Anna into the world happy and healthy!

I am so glad we have some new girls in here. It reminds me how close we all have become, you sometimes forget what it must seem to someone looking in and I'm glad that people can tell how close we all are. There is always room for more in the group and I can't tell you all how often I thank my lucky stars for finding you all. Group hug!!

love
Paula
xoxo

Oooh Rozzie, did my posting of Hamish's pic put Edward's photos fresh in your mind? I always seem to stick my foot in it with you. I'm sorry if I'm making this time harder for you. You know I love you and really, really don't mean it if I make you sad. Bad Lan!

Hello Diana, I'm glad you feel at home here. I absolutely agree with everyone here that these ladies are some of my bestest friends. Some of the things we share here, I would not tell anyone else. I am sorry for the loss of little Sebastian and hope that you'll catch the baby bug from all the preggers ladies here.

Welcome again to Buliej. I've had heaps of natural therapies in my frenzied attempts to control my life after losing our little boy so if you want to know about naturopathy, homoepathy or discuss acupuncture, I'm here!

Paula, that's scary about the anxiety attacks. I would certainly think that I was dying too. How come you have to adjust the dosage yourself? How are you supposed to know? It is so important to feel right before starting TTC isn't it? Your DH sounds cool. You have such a lovely family!

Tildy, those kicks are the best, aren't they? Just hearing about Kebab's action routine gets me excited. My mind has gone blank... do we know the gender yet? Your body's being very inconsiderate with the sinus and yeast issue. Not fair, give the lady a break!

Yay for Friday. Have a good weekend my dears!

Just a fast note to wish you all a very happy weekend.

Hammi - I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on the various natural therapies you tried. I'm going continue the acupuncture as I find it incredibly relaxing and do believe it can help some people. Someone also told me reflexology may be worth checking at...and today, a friend mentioned yoga (mostly as a way to learn how to settle my mind which seems to race non-stop these days).

I'm so happy that so many of you are pregnant - many lucky little babies on the way!

Lan, thanks for your support. The reason I am adjusting the dosage myself is that its not a real science. Basically the dosage which works is the dosage which is right. Especially because low progesterone can stuff up your thyroid and vice versa. It seems if you up one you need less of the other. At the moment I feel like I am getting better results from the progesterone so am dropping the thyroid which is what has been giving me the panic attacks. I have my pms week coming up next week so it will be a good opportunity to see if I am close to the mark. Since dropping my thyroid dose I am feeling so much better so fingers crossed.

As soon as I feel confident with it DH and I are off to the bedroom!!

Speaking of which I am very confused about potential BFP dates. I know they must be soon. Lan and Jo please let me know so that I can send you both lots of BFP vibes.

Hello ladies

I hope you have all had a lovely weekend, we have had the most insane whether in Bris, as youv'e probably heard on the news. Crazy storms through the week, which luckily we didn't get the worst of, but yesterday was sooo hot and today is like an Autumn day! Went to bed last night with the air con on and woke up this morning under blankets with a beautiful crisp breeze blowing in, bizarre! It made me get to thinking about Autumn though and how close we will be to having our little one then, I just hope that is the way it all works out. Isn't it funny how the strangest things give us hope, thank God! Bring on Autumn!! Any way finally got to see my cousin today, (she lives in Newcastle, but were up for her sis wedding), apparently she doesn't have enough follicles to do an IVF cycle so they have canned this cycle (bugger) but on the up side they can still try naturally as there are still eggs there, problem is they can't guarantee how many! The Dr said at most there could be 4! But statistics say usually only 50% will produce eggs (I think that is what she said) so she could end up with 1, 2, 3 or 4, if she fell naturally this time. I am crossing everything I have for her, they are moving back to Brisbane in April so if she has multiples at least we will all be here to lend a hand!
I am starting to get nervous about my scan tomorrow, Cooper was born alive so I have only ever had 'happy' scans, unlike so many of you, but it is so much scarier this time, but I have a good feeling.

Helen, I am so glad this awful weather is giving you hope! We are on the Gold Coast but like you have managed to miss the worst of the weather.

I hope your cousin gets lucky. It must be such a stressful process.

I will have everything crossed for your scan tomorrow. I wish there was more I could do, but hopefully that will get the universe shifting a bit in the right direction for you.

Good luck and I look forward to some happy news when I get home tomorrow night!

Helen,

Good luck for your scan today.

I will be :pray: and thinking of you.

Look forward to hearing your fantastic news.

xxx Sue xxx

Good luck today Helen. Can't wait to hear the good news!

xoxox

Hi ladies, hope you all had a lovely weekend.

Thanks for the welcome everyone. I'm so glad I took the giant leap and joined you all. Congratulations on your pregnancy Rozzie & Helen.

Helen, hope all went well with the scan today and I really hope all goes well for your cousin.

Paula, sorry you haven't been feeling well lately but glad to hear you're getting a little better after changing your dosage of meds. Sounds like you're not too far away from some serious action! Praying your BFP is just around the corner...

AFM, I'm due for AF today and so far she has not reared her ugly head. I have mild cramping and heaved 3 times this morning, once brushing my teeth and twice when I walked into the bathroom at work. Strange... I'm assuming it would be too early for morning sickness wouldn't it? I didn't get it until about week 7 with my previous pregnancy. I've probably caught a bug or something and I'm pretty sure it's not the pregnancy bug going around on this thread!But God how I'm praying it is...

Does anyone know if Clomid can make you feel this sick due to high prog levels?

A big hello to everyone else.

Diana x

Diana, I had M/S from 4wks with my last pregnancy. I didn't know what it was and thought I had the flu! Fingers crossed for you.

Any news Helen?

Thanks Lan, I'm really not feeling confident but until AF arrives anything is possible :pray:

Hi Diana,

I am a lucky one that doesnt suffer too badly with M/S. But I have heard of girls getting m/s sickness very early and thats how they know they are pregnant. I will have my fingers crossed for you. When do you think you will do a test???

Helen - I am so awaiting your news???

xxx Sue xxx

hi all!!!

can't wait to hear about Helen's scan.

Diana, most M/S doesn't start till around 6 weeks but it can start at 4... this time I was queasy at bad smells from 5 weeks.

Lan, don't worry, you didn't upset me!!! I wasn't saying that seeing your photo made me sad, just that I had already hit a wall. It was nothing you said or did.

I am not having a good week, I just want this week to be OVER!!! as it's leading up to the time Edward died I keep thinking back to this time and how happy, and blissfully ignorant I was at what was to come. It's not like I expect anything to go wrong, it's just I seem powerless to stop dwelling on memories. I'm anxious and I can't get any work done, but then if I were to take leave I'd be home alone and that would be even worse.

I can't wait for next week when it's all new and a clean slate. We have another ultrasound on Wednesday and will see the doctor then, which is good because he was away last time and we haven't seen him since the 12 week scan.

On the upside baby kicks a lot. Last night Alec and I had a shower together (but that's as far as it went poor man!) then we lay on our bed chatting, feeling kicks and watching my stomach move. It was really nice. Baby was very obliging by moving lots.

Love Rozzie

Hi everyone, I am exhausted it has been a really long day and of course didn't sleep well last night at all, so this will be a quick one. Scan seemed to go really well bub looked great and wouldn't stop moving, I swear there was a moment when the sonographer pushed down hard that I felt a boot! I haven't got the full results back for the NT part as my bloods hadn't come through apparently, so will have that towards the end of the week. It was lovely to see the little munchkin dancing away, and on our way out we seen the most beautiful newborn going home, and for the first time I was really excited instead of having that lump in my throat, why hasn't anyone invented that damn time capsule yet! I would love to jump past the 2nd trimester!
Diana - Have you got your AF yet?? Could very well be MS, as you would be starting to produce HCG by now which is the culprit! Keep us posted we love BFP's!!!!!
Rozzie:hug: I wish this week was past for you too, soon you will have that clean slate.
Hammi & Jo - When are your testing days???
Katie - Thinking of you, how is motherhood going?
Hi to all

congrats on the lovely scan!! nice to hear bubby is good and wriggly.
you should sleep well tonight!

Hi everyone - here I am!

Welcome to Buliej and Diana. I am so sorry that you have had to endure the pain of losing your precious babies. I am happy though that you have found your way to this group. You have probably realised what an amazing group of women everyone here is, and I hope you find the same support that I have since I joined. It takes great courage to make the step of joining this forum, and I hope it brings some peace and comfort to you. I am also very happy to know that Anna's arrival gave you the boost you needed to join.

Thank you all so much for you congratulations and excitement. It has thrilled both DH and I that everyone cares so much. We are completely smitten with Anna. To be honest, I think I was so focused on getting to keep this baby, that I had really given much though to the fact that I would be a mother 24/7. Due to being a forceps delivery, being distressed and having the cord around her neck (I think she might be a drama queen!) - her sucking relexes were a bit delayed and the first 3 days with her in hospital were challenging. All the midwives knew her as they had all had turns at some stage trying to comfort her. I spent the whole time trying desperately to breastfeed and having the occasional cry. Thankfully my milk came in on Saturday and it has gotten better since. We came home yesterday and so far so good. She is feeding every 2-4 hours and sleeping in between. I am having a lactation consultant come by on Wed to help with attachment as my breasts are very sore! In fact it is Pinky McKay who seems to be a celebrity in the BB world. Anyway - I would happily never sleep again if it means I can have Anna all the time!

I can't wait to welcome each of your little babies into this world. I know I should leave you all alone now, but to be honest, I would miss you all too much. So I intend to keep up with you all if you don't mind.

I will come back when my brain is a bit clearer to do some personals. :grouphug:

Hi all

Katie, congrats again on baby Anna. Everyone on this thread is wonderful and I feel very welcome. Sorry you had to endure a bit of a rough time the first few days but sounds like you're getting into a nice routine now that you're home.

Helen, so great to hear all went well today. So very happy for you. Congrats...

Rozzie, I can just imagine how hard this time is for you but you have done your hard time and it's all going to be wonderful from here. Last night sounds so beautiful for you and Alec.

AF is still at bay but I did a test tonight using Forelife brand which is supposed to be super sensitive and it was a BFN. I assume if today's gagging was related to M/S it would have showed up + wouldn't it? Think I'll wait a few more days and see if AF shows her ugly head. I really hate the POAS process, I get the shakes so bad I can barely hold the stick steady, no joke! I'm pretty certain AF is on the way, have really bad cramps tonight. Agggggggrrrrrrrrrrr.