Trying to Conceive after Stillbirth/Late Loss/Recurrant Miscarriage October

Good morning everyone. I was really hoping that things would get started during the night, but no such luck. This baby is not budging! We have an Ob appointment today, so we will have a good chat about things. DH and I are both finding ourselves getting anxious, just the usual negative thoughts etc and needing some reassurance that we are doing the right thing by waiting until next week to be induced. I think I will have to have the foetal heart rate monitoring again just to ensure all is good.

Laney - yes my sister had 2 late losses - she had 3 children and then lost no. 4 around 17-18 weeks, had a problem free pregnancy for No. 5 (she is now 3) and then lost No. 6 around 15-16 weeks. She and I have never been given a reason for any of our losses, and they have not suggested that they are related (genetics etc). My mum has had 6 children and no losses and my other sister 4 pregnancies and no losses - so thankfully there does not seem to be a family history. We both had extensive testing and all results came back negative - no clotting disorders etc. It is hard knowing that there was no reason, but on the other hand I am glad that I don't have a disorder etc. My sister always said with No. 4 (his name is Gabriel) that the pregnancy always felt different to her first three. Then with her 2nd loss (Benedict) she and I both were always worried. It is like I knew something was not right with her baby. Whenever I would call her I would always ask about the baby and if she felt ok. I can't explain why I was worried, but when she lost him (she believes that she knew the very moment that he died), she told me that she always knew that I knew that something wasn't right. She said that her 2 losses always felt diffrent to the other 4 fullterm pregnancies. My sister was a great help and support to me after losing Nathaniel, as she understood the pain and grief.

I know the 12 week ultrasound will be tough, I found it very scary. It sounds like your Ob is great and I am so glad that you will have weekly appointments - I really think they will help you as each week passes.

I will come back and right more soon - need something to eat but the cupboard is bare - sigh

hey!
have been busy on the internet all morning trying to see if we can get christmas accomodation in country nsw as my grandmother has become seriously ill. i now have to beg and plead my case to work and hope to god they can figure out an option for me to be off over christmas, our busiest trading time! our company has a big no time over christams policy but i am hoping this is an exception. Does'nt help when you are considered senior staff and needed.
So i decided to come on and check out any news and Katie, when i saw your 7 am message i got a bit excited!!!! but no luck...but just to let you know josh went 2 weeks over! did i read somewhere you said the 18th for inducing if nothing had happened by then? Em they only let me go a few days as josh had been so big. i know your appointment will be fine - but its ok to be anxious. I can't imagine the excitment /nervousness etc that you are feeling at the moment.
check in later!
xxx

Just peeking in to see if there's any news from Katie. Gosh, this is exciting!!!

So you've started TTC, Jo! AF has just finished for me but you know what? We're soooo tired from all this moving we haven't done anything yet.

But Tildy, the sooner you start crossing your fingers for me, the better. I need all the luck I can get.

Rozzie, you are funny! Fancy leaving our celibate club. I need to join you!

Sue, I was sitting on the train last night thinking about you and what a wonderful miracle it is that you are preggers with this baby. It gives me hope that things can work out. All our babies are miracles, I know.

Hey to Paula, Cindee, Laney and Katie!

Hello everybody!

Katie - are you sick of everyone asking about you yet?? How are you going comfort wise? What did your OB say today? Questions, questions...

Jo - I hope you are starting to feel better, and YAY to kinda officially TTC! I am glad you got your beautiful urns for your precious babies, but yet so sad that you have had to even do it. Things will be different this time I can feel it in my bones! Did DH take well to the idea of TTC again? I hope this is a quick non-eventful time.

Hammi - I can't believe your time is here!!! It didn't seem long ago you were cheering me on, no the shoes on the other foot!

Tildy - Glad your scan went well, and very happy to hear you getting more confident. I don't think any of us can get away from the emotion/terror/worry etc from losing our little ones, but this new little life you have growing is going to help you get through it. I have had some shocker dreams lately about my baby being born early again, it is hard. Thanks for telling me about AngelLukesMum, I will PM her to see what she has to say, I haven't got the courage yet to jump over to the Preg Thread.

Sue - Movements, WOW, it is wonderful when they start to move around, with Corey I didn't feel him till about 19 weeks, with Cooper 14 weeks, so I am hoping I only have a about 3 more weeks to wait!

Rozzie - I'm glad you are getting some action! Not many of us seem to be ATM:lol:

Paula - How are you going?

Cindee - I am a bit worried about you, where are you?

Laney - I hate waiting for appointments! 31/2weeks sounds so much longer than 2, but your ticker is flying so it won't be long.

As for me, I have been so busy, we have two investment houses, have decided to try and sell one, and spend some money on the other (to lower any CGT). The tenants moved out on Friday so I have been running around over the last 2 weeks trying to find painters, floor people, etc on short notice, and then going over there to strip curtains, door/cupboard handles, fix up the yard a bit (not too strenuous!) DH has to replace a few things etc. To top things off there are casement windows (slide up and down, old worker's cottage), one didn't have a latch too keep it open, so bright idea me had my water bottle holding it up, along comes DS and pulls the bottle out for a drink and down slams the window on his fingers:jawdrop: YEOOUCH. Jumped into the car up to the hospital, xrays etc, long story short all OK, phew. I swear I am starting to wonder about being reported to DOCS!!!
I have my booking in appt on Mon, I am apparently only seeing a midwife, which concerns me a bit about scheduling a suture, I assumed I would be seeing an OB, but they said that they will just check with the DR on Monday.

Gotta go, seeya bye!

Dear girls,

Well I have been a bit insane today :wall:...... Didnt get much sleep last night, had really sore hips and lower back and no matter where I was sleeping, I couldnt get comfortable and I had pains running down my legs . So today I have been negative and thinking that the baby is not alright,

So I made an appointment with my local GP and she has a doppler machine, and she found a heartbeat :heartbeat: really easy :dance: and all is OK. I think it is just lack of sleep and also another girl at work announced that she is pregnant and due 3 days after me and I automatically thought that I hope this time, that I get to bring the bubs home and not have to watch somebody again...... but I am feeling heaps better now.

Oh and she also said that I wouldnt be feeling movement yet, not until at least 20 weeks. So I must have been wrong, but I am sure it was.... oh well....

Katie - checking on you..... we are all so excited for you and awaiting your news and we all want to see pictures of your precious little girl.

Jo - good on you and DH for making the decision to TTC. I will be thinking of you and :pray: you have a quick result soon.

Hammi - You are such a sweetie thinking of me. It is truly a miracle and I when we announced that we are pregnant, thats exactly how I said it. Our miracle baby was conceived naturally...... I wish you all the best for your TTC journey and hope to hear great news soon.

Lan - look after yourself, I know how busy you have been, but please make sure you get plenty of rest for yourself and little bubs.

Tildy - glad your scan went so well. You are such a strong lady with all the bleeding you have had. Having this bubs and having only a little spotting has made me a lot stronger and has also made me realise that spotting is not always bad. How are you going with the bleeding etc.

Laney - glad things are going so well. We will all be here for you and getting past that 28 week mark.

Rozzie - how are you??? yah for initiate some fun.... I am still so nervous about it and am so scared to have any spotting etc. Though I have been having the sexual dreams as well. I think it has something to do with the increase of blood flow to that region....

Well hoping everyone is have a great day.

xxx Sue xxx

hi all,

It's our 3rd wedding anniversary today, and the first one I will be present and conscious for!! I was deployed overseas for the first and had surgery under general on our second. Can't drink this time, but being present and awake is still an improvement :)
We're going out for a nice dinner.

Sue, all respect to your GP but she is completely wrong about movement... every book and site says from about 16 weeks is the usual time to feel movement for first babies, and generally earlier for subsequent pregnancies. I've also read that most doctors agree that feeling movement is possible from 12 weeks, though of course most women won't feel it quite that early. I'm not yet 20 weeks, and I can actually see the movement from the outside now, and DH has been feeling it for a couple of weeks. You know your body, trust that your baby is kicking away in there!!

I am soooo tired all the time... much worse than last time. I thought it might be iron but the tests came back fine. I mentioned it to my mother and she pointed out that I've been pregnant over a long time with a short break in between where I had to grieve and also recover from the C-section... add to that the stress and worry that comes with pregnancy after loss and I guess it's understandable that my body would need lots of rest. Does anyone else have this issue??

Love Rozzie

Hi all. Well I am still here!!! We had our Ob appointment yesterday and he is happy for us to continue until 10 days late before he will induce. We had the heartrate monitored again and all was good, and he had booked us in for another monitoring on Saturday. Assuming it goes well then we will not be moving the induction forward at all. I really want this little girl to make her own way into the world, so I hope she decides to do so soon! I am getting no niggles at all, just a lot of pressure and some minor discomfort. I am having acupuncture done today so hopefully that will help, but to be honest...I doubt it! She is one stubborn child.

Rozzie - congrats on your 3rd wedding anniversary. We got married one day apart. I think it is understandable that you are tired, your mother is probably correct. It is exhausting enough being pregnant, let alone all the extra emotional and physical baggage that we all carry. Rest when you can.

Sue - I agree with Rozzie about the baby's movements. My ob said that I could very well feel movement earlier than 22 weeks - but they only consider is 'reliable' movement from 22 weeks. Maybe that is what your GP meant. Basically, from 22 weeks you should be able to confidently say that you are feeling movement each day, but this does not mean you can't feel some movement earlier. I felt movement from 17 weeks and felt it every day, it just increased and changed from flutters to rolls to proper kicks. Glad to hear the baby's heartbeat was good, and I suppose the pains was just due to your body changing and stretching - so fun!

Helen - sounds like you are busy with your properties. Make sure you rest up. Poor DS's fingers! I hope your appointment goes well on Monday. Keep us up to date.

Hi to everyone - Lan, Cindee, Jo and Laney. I hope you are all well. I am not sick of you all asking yet, I love that you are all excited for me! Besides, DHs parents ring us each night (separately) just to check - because you know we will totally forget to tell them! His mum finished with, 'Ok well I will call tomorrow' and DH said that maybe she should let him do the calling. It is sweet, but I can imagine it will start to get a bit much the furter overdue we go. He also reiterated to her that we will call when we go into labour and leave for the hospital but that I don't want anyone waiting at the hospital. His family live 3 hours away, and both parents are planning on hopping in their cars to get here the moment they hear the news. It is their first grandchild, so I do understand that they are beyond excited, but we have decided we want the first couple of hours with our little girl all to ourselves. I think we have earnt that right.

Jo - I have sent you a PM.

hey girls!
how hot has it been in melb? I am excited to be wearing a dress today but the humidity is horrible! This TTC thing is working for DH...we have never DTD so much! he is loving it and if anything has really helped our relationship get back to "normal".It is still quite nerve racking but this next (:pray:) pregnancy is the last one. I cannot do this again...
katie - will check your pm but it must be nice to know some of your bubs personality is shining through with her stubborness. I understand the relatives completely. DHs brother tried to call him and because he did'nt answer he called the hospital to ask if i had been admitted and they said yes so he rang everyone to tell them i was in labour! we did'nt have a chance to get the news out!
syran - i agree with Rozzie about your GPs comment. I was told the same thing by more than one songraher and Doc, but one actually said you can never say never in the medical world...which i loved him for saying...its so true. You can have a "textbook" preg but even those are going to be different in their own way! Enjoy those moments and don't let anyone take them away from you!
rozzie - HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!
hgirs -life is never boring is it! hope you have both recovered from the little accident! While we are nervous about TTC and the idea we are sure having fun trying!;)
ok, yet again have chosen the wrong time to type1 Em needs me to look at her dolls set up to go to kinder...i need to get on when they are not home!
take care guys, cindee/paula how are you guys????? hope all is well!
hi to everyone else!
xxjo

Hi Girls

wow, I am so busy at the moment. I check in on here everyday but don't always have time to post. I can't wait till February when all my study will be over and I can get my life back.

Katie: every time I see a message posted by you I get so excited. I was telling DH last night how we are all on tender hooks awaiting the good news and that you are our trailblazer in here. Showing us all that a happy outcome is possible. Can't wait to hear all about your little girls arrival.

Jo and Lan: ttc at last, it seemed like so far away and now the time is here. I am beside myself waiting to hear about your BFP's.

Rozzie: congrats on the wedding anniversary and I agree with your Mum. Take it easy when you can. You have a big few weeks ahead of you and I'm sure you'll be carrying around plenty of extra stress so rest up when you can. Your ticker seems to be on steroids. Feels like just yesterday you were only a few weeks PG and now look, nearly 20 weeks!!

Sue: I am so glad you were able to get in to see your GP straight away, and it must be comforting to know now that you have that option when you feel you need the reassurance. There is nothing worse than that feeling of fear that washes over you. I don't think anyone who hasn't been through what we have can understand but good on you for getting the reassurance you needed. Yours is another ticker on steroids. I love it :)

Tildy and Laney: congrats on the scans. It is such a nice boost in here when someone comes back from an OB appointment with good news. It gives me a real boost of confidence every time to see how well you girls are doing. Another milestone down for both of you. Yay!!

Helen: will be thinking of you Monday, you are so close to 12 weeks now. Make sure you rest up, sounds like you've been a bit crazy busy with taking care of your properties. I hope DH has recovered!!

As for me I'm not sure where to start...

I have had a shocking couple of weeks. I've been on the thyroid meds for nearly a month. The first few days I felt great and then PMS kicked in and it was the worst I've ever felt. I cried for nearly 3 days straight and was so sad about losing Charlie that I thought I was going to die myself. I just couldn't seem to pull myself out of it no matter how hard I tried.

DH wanted to check me into a mental asylum and my naturopath gave me all these anti depressants etc. It got to the point where I was feeling like 'hey why can't I just be sad that my baby is dead, stop trying to fix me'.

Anyway, i decided to make another appointment with my thyroid dr who had suggested I get my hormone levels checked. I had that appointment today and he said I'm low on progesterone so now have some progesterone cream which should help with the anxiety etc. I read about a lady who had 2 healthy kids, then a miscarriage, then a stillbirth and then another stillbirth. She went on progesterone after the miscarriage but they told her to stop taking it after 12 weeks with the next PG because the placenta is supposed to take over after that. She lost the 2nd bub a week later. With the 3rd PG she took the progesterone until 15 weeks and then they told her to stop again. Again she lost the bub a week or so later. The autopsy of her second bub showed hypercoiling and they put it down to that although said it wasn't conclusive because this can happen after the bub dies.

Anyway, her story sounded so much like mine, same symptoms etc. I spoke to the dr about it this morning and he said progesterone is required right through pregnancy and if your on supplements you shouldn't stop. He seems to suggest that is the reason for my losses.

So now I'm on this cream and I will be managing it so carefully during next PG.

Speaking of which I am finally at a point where I am ready to get PG again. I have spoken to my new boss and she is totally fine with it. So everything is perfect except for these bloody hormones. I am hoping they will be sorted out by Dec so we can ttc then. If not I really hope January. Part of me just wants to say what the hell, but I know if I suffered another loss down the track I would never forgive myself for not having waited a month or so to get things right.

I am so jealous of you Lan and Jo... Oh well DH and I will just have to practise for a bit longer. The cream is supposed to help with my libido so DH is getting excited!!

Sorry to have gone on but I wanted to make up for not having time during the week.

Love to all and belly rubs, baby dust and sticky vibes to all

Paula
xox

hey guys!
well ttc is still going strong - twice a day strong! :redface: but anyway -Dh is having major stresses at work but has'nt been worried i think because of the extra activity!
katie - no post from you...:pray:
paula - so happy to hear from you! time is hard, just look at my posts! its so interesting about the progesterone thing. i really needed to check that myself i think before ttc. I have read alot about it but maybe it is still something i could do in the meantime anyway. Research is mixed but i think it is much better to be on the safer side and going for whatever you can get that will help chances. i hope you are feeling ok now emotionally as physically it takes it out of you! To everyone else those moments can seem "insane" but i would consider an outpouring like that quite normal in our situation...plus being on medication...just take care and know we are all here for you!

hope you are all keeping well! hammi? how are you feeling about ttcing???
p/s so hoping this is your time right now katie!!!!
xxjo

Hi Jo - sorry to disappoint but I am still here!!! Patiently waiting and waiting. I am still refusing to complain as I am just so happy to have made it to this point. We have to go to the hospital again tomorrow to have the heartrate monitored - I have to call first thing in the morning to see when they can fit us in. I really think I will have to be induced, I am still getting no BH or any other symptoms. I am still incredibly mobile and actually feel better physically than I did a month ago. So I continue to wait...

Jo - you are taking TTC very seriously! Are you exhausted? :lol: I hope it is a short and happy journey for you and DH - though DH might prefer it continues for a while longer!

Paula - glad to hear from you, but sorry to hear that you have been having a rough time. I think a lot of people feel that when you are sad they need to fix you, without realising that you are a grieving mother and there is no fix but to allow you the space to cry. The progersterone cream sounds like a great idea, and hopefully will help give you some peace of mind for TTCing.

Hi to everyone - have to go and have dinner. Will report back again tomorrow and do more personals.

well girls, its pretty early on Sunday morning and I have been lying in bed thinking surely there will be a post from Katie's DH on here by now... but alas no such luck! Maybe tonight when I get home there will be news. Maybe Katie is at the hospital right now with her gorgeous little girl in her arms (saying shyte, labor really does hurt doesn't it!!). The suspense is killing me !!

I was also thinking how this is a ttc thread and pretty soon we'll all be PG. I'm expecting BFP announcement's from Jo and Lan any day now (especially you Jo with all that action you and DH have been getting :) and then if I'm not mistaken that will leave me as the only person here not PG. How funny. But exciting as well. It somehow feels like the collective will of this group really has some sort of magical quality that is helping us all bring happy and healthy babies into this world. Speaking of which, who is next to be headed for the finish line after Katie? Rozzie is it you?

As for me no real news. I think I ovulated yesterday/today as my temp was way up this morning. I've been using the progesterone cream for a couple of days and it seems to be making a difference but I won't really be able to tell for another week when I would normally be due for that happy week of PMS!! DH and I were saying last night that if I have a good run of it this time and Dr says its ok then we will ttc in Dec rather than wait till Jan/Feb. I'm starting to feel a bit lonely being the only one not PG or ttc yet!

Anyway, I'm off to study for the day and have exams and assessments for the next 2 weeks but will definitely be checking in on you all (read Katie!!) even if I don't have time to post.

love
Paula
xox

Hi girls,

Well I have logged on as well to check on Katie - I have my fingers crossed that she is in hospital now, giving birth to her gorgeous little girl.

Well I have been checking my sugar levels over the past week and my endocronologist called and said that I have got gestation diabities..... bloody hell, I knew it was going to happen with my history, but not so soon!!!!

So he said to stay on the 3000 mg of metformin (he was trying to reduce it!!) and if I continue to get worse, I will be on insulin also. So the real diet begins!!! I really don't want to go on insulin..... my levels arent bad, but 4 in a week went over what it should be, so a few adjustments will be made.

Hoping everyone is well.

xxx Sue xxx

Hi all. Sorry to disappoint but I am still very much here. We went to the movies last night to try and pass the time and I was getting some pains on and off, so we were hopeful it meant things were starting...no such luck. I really do believe I will be induced on Wed...shame but so long as I have this little girl some time this week I won't complain. We had the CGT monitoring again yesterday morning and the baby's heartbeat is strong, so that was a relief. I go in on Tues afternoon to have the gels applied and then Wed morning my waters will be broken (assuming the gels do their thing first time).

Sue - sorry to hear about the GD. Hopefully you will be able to control it with diet and not have to go on insulin. Hope you are feeling well.

Paula - don't worry you will soon be joining the TTC gang and we will all be excited to hear your news and BFP announcement. It is unusual that no new women have joined recently - but that is a good thing actually given why we are all here!

Hi to everyone. Sorry I haven't posted sooner, just had nothing to say. Hope everyone is well - hugs to all. :hug: :hug:

Whaaaat? Still no baby. Katie, you've got a diva in there. Madam will come when madam is good and ready and no amount of excitement on our behalf is going to make a difference. I really hope I don't read your birth announcement at work because with all this suspense, I will definitely squeal when I do!!!

Jo, twice a day! Wow, that puts the TRY in TTC. I really need to pick up my act. So, this is how anally retentive I am. Three days ago, I jumped DH's bones (with protection) to purge all the tired old spermies from moving and painting :-) Then today, after given him three days to build up fresh, invigorated spermies, the TTC officially begins. My naturopath and ob both said to do it every second day... apart from Jo... how often did you guys do it?

DH is calling me for dinner. Haven't had time to write personals but am reading all the posts, missing you all (yes, I really do!) so some quickies:

Paula, I'm sorry you've been on a downer. You ARE entitled to be sad and not want to be cheered up. Big hugs to you and hope that you will TTC next month so we can celebrate BFP's together.

Sue, boo hiss to GD. Don't worry too much, your wonder baby trumped IVF so s/he can beat GD no worries. You just look after yourself.

Got to go. Hugs and kisses to you all.

hi girls!
quick post before the school run!
katie - she is really testing our patience is'nt she?!? Take it as a compliment -you obviously have a wonderful safe haven in there for her to want to stay in!Bubs might want to have the break while she can too, there will be a long line of people i imagine wanting to meet her when she does eventually make her arrival. Never mind you, SHE"LL be exhausted! Got your red carpet ready?....Love that you are still out and about! I remember with Josh i was having contractions 10 mins apart and getting my eyebrows waxed!!!:rolleyes: Later after i saw my waxing lady again she said she had thought i was twitching more than usual!!!:lol:
hammi - yeah the twice a day in the last few days is down to one a day! lol! I AM EXHAUSTED!!! Its not for ttc necessarily that we have a twice a day thing on, its that we have just got a part of our relationship back that we have'nt had for so long, so i think we got a little excited!:redface::redface::redface: But you can guarantee nothing will happen this month and in some ways i am hoping not as the EDD as i have said before would be the same as Madisons birth date. not sure how i would handle that timing. i love your sperm proofing! your so funny! Enjoy your TTC!
syran - i just noticed your ticker and when did it get so far ahead! i am so happy for you! how are you feeling apart from your GD news?
paula - your time will come and its just around the corner so you don't have that long to wait!Depending on how soon it decides to happen for us we may be there alongside you anyway! your thoughts on the "collective of this group" bought tears to my eyes - i so hope so with all my heart!!!
tildy - have'nt heard from you in a awhile! how are you??????? thinking of you and hoping all is ok!
to everyone else -i'll have to do more personals later but hi to you all! i am supposed to be leaving in 5 mins and the school clothes are still in the dryer! whoops!
xxx jo
p/s got my time off for christmas in nsw! so we WILL be away for chrissy this year! and the step mum in laws response to DH when he told her and explained why.."well SIL is working so it works out this year". Well as long as we won't be missed...:wall:

Jo, it'll happen for us when it's supposed to happen. It's good not to get too fixed on when. I'm surprisingly quite relaxed about it too. I guess because I'm part petrified, part excited... as we all are. I told DH that you guys were at it twice a day and he giggled and said "cool" - haha, every guy's dream!

Sooo, I wonder if Katie's in labour now else tomorrow is the big induction day. Good luck Katie!!!

Oh, another thing! I told Jo and Rozzie that I found a wonderful artist who drew a beautiful portrait of my Hamish based on the photos the midwives took of him after he was born. I've finally worked out how to load the pic to share with you guys. I think the link is https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...0&ppuser=12453

Those of you with babies born around Hamish's age would know what he looked like. The artist, Sue, only ever saw the photos we sent yet the portrait she did is a perfect combination of David's and my features and shows Hamish just the way we see him. If any of you want her details, I'll send it to you.

I am just jumping in super quick to wish Katie all the best for tomorrow (unless you are already in hospital:lol:) I am soooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

Lan - Your drawing is just beautiful, Hamish looks so peaceful.

Jo - What can I say?? Enjoy the fun!

I had my booking in history today but have to go back to see the OB regarding my suture on the 9 dec, heard the baby's heartbeat loud and clear with the doppler, such a great sound. Have to go have visitors.

Hi to everybody.