Oh Jo , you have me in tears, I remember those feelings so deeply, but I can only hope you feel us holding your hand through all of this. I don't know what you say to your daughter... and I too had moments like that with my DH, still do sometimes. You are right a lot of men just can't quite comprehend the magnitude of the mother's loss, and it is so very primal on every level, emotional, physical, social. Have got any sleeping pills?? I tried them, they didn't really work for me, but maybe I just didn't take enough, I was worried I wouldn't wake for my DS. Sleeping is so hard and the nights are just horrible. There is nothing I can say that is going to make this journey easier for you, just know you are constantly cared for.