I have no words to express how much I feel for you and you've had to go through today. My love to you and your family, including your two little angels.
It's not goodbye today because you'll see Madison again. Tonight will be so hard for you but know that you're not alone and we all feel so much for you and your loss.
Come back and talk to us soon. Don't feel isolated or lost. You can even post to say you hate everybody.
Hamish died of "mild hypercoiling of the umbilical cord". Apparently umbilical cords are structured like a telephone cord however the one that was supporting Hamish had too many coils which slowly restricted the flow of blood to him.
My useless ob said he's never heard of the condition and will have to "look up the internet" and consult his colleagues about it. He said it's like an act of God that was caused neither by me or Hamish. I didn't need him to tell me any of that, and I can Google the words from the report myself!
I thanked heaven that my boy just slowly drifted off to sleep, that I indeed didn't kill him and that I'm not broken in my baby-making parts.
On Monday I'm going to trot off to my GP with this report and ask her to write a referral to another obs, who was recommended to me by a member of BB who has also had a stillborn bub.
Jo -- It it now 10am here in Sweden, so you've already had the memorial service and said goodbye. I am thinking of you now, and I hope the service has helped you achieve a little peace, even if I know that the difficult road has not come to an end. Sleep tight, Madison Rose, knowing that you're loved not just by Mom, Dad, and your earth and angel siblings, but also by some ladies from all over the world.
Lan -- of course you didn't kill Hamish. Though I can understand if hearing that it's an "act of God" might not feel any better -- it didn't for me, anyway, as I thought "If it was something that I did, then there's an explanation and I could make sure I didn't do it again!" DH and his mom both say half-jokingly that I have the worst of both worlds -- an atheist who still manages to believe I'm being punished when something bad happens to me.
I'm sorry your OB expressed himself clumsily -- we've been hearing a lot of that lately! Their bedside manner sure needs some work. You don't want to have to feel like they're sitting and Googling right before you walk in the room. Good job on asking the GP about a new OB.
Jo, are you lurking? Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and here to lend an ear, a virtual shoulder or anything you need.
Katie, congrats on passing the 30wk milestone. That is an amazingly wondeful number. Downhill now!!!
Tildy, I read about your bleed in the pregnancy thread (I go in there all the time to give myself a boost). You are getting very zen indeed and why shouldn't you. You deserve to hold this little one all gurgling and sweet in your arms in 31 weeks.
Sue, what have you done to spoil yourself this weekend?
Helen, tomorrow is the first day of your lucky month! It's going to happen!
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