Trying to Conceive after Stillbirth/Recurrent Miscarriage/Late Loss

Hi girls. Popping by again and I have just read Diana's story and have been reduced to tears. Please know that Sebastian knows you love him and please don't feel guilty. I know that is easy to say but hard to practise but you must know your boy is happy and he wants you to be as well. You give him kisses and cuddles whenever you think of him or shed a tear. :hug:

You have all been through so much pain and grief - I pray you all get your much longed for BFPs soon and a beautiful baby to hold 9 months later. :grouphug:

Hi Katie,
I love your post, you are such a sweet girl.

I've heard this phrase the other day which I just wanted to share with you all, as it brought tears to my eyes. It said, 'You are at your best, when you are at your worst'. It's just so true for anyone who has gone through a loss. We are all very strong people, to have survived what we have survivied. It makes us not only strong, but resilient women, we can achieve anything.

B xx

Dear girls,

I have been lurking and not really posting much, but I wanted to say thank you girls for sharing your stories. I have shed so many tears reading your stories. Though I have had recurrent miscarriages, I have never had to ensure a late loss. You ladies are very strong and your angels know how much they are loved and are so proud of their mums and dads. :grouphug:

Megan - I still have my fingers crossed for you. I also got pulling early in pregnancy, so hopefully this is the reason.

Beata - Hope you are feeling better - 1kg that is huge!!!. Given a couple months break, I look forward to sharing your IVF and look forward to that BFP soon.

Katiegirl - Good to hear from you. Hope things are going well.

Jo76 - Sorry you got mixed emotions at the psychic. The course sounds interesting though - anything in mind???? Though it was positive with the pregnancy card.

Tildy - Yeah for a big bubs!!! It is such fantastic news. My Ob is saying that I will not have any more u/s, unless he thinks there is a problem. Man I am stressing about that!!!

Teagz - hopefully not now until you get Jayvans results, it must be so frustrating. Though congrats to you and DH on making a decision regarding TTC, it feels great to have a plan.

Theresa - How are you feeling??? Not long until the scan on 6/2. I will have my fingers crossed for you.

dd0207 - I found acupuncture very relaxing as well. You kind of feel enlightened when you leave. I hope this helps for you.

Berry - Glad blood tests came back positive, but sad you have to also wait so long for your results of your angel.

Paula - again I am so excited for you....

xxx Sue xxx

Also Lan - a special message for you.

I am so glad you posted and it is so good to hear from you.

Hope you are getting to that positive place and I just wanted to say, is that I miss you.

xxx Sue xxx

Oh Lan, it's so good to hear from you hun ! I almost missed you post if it wasn't for Sue! I totally understand you wanting a break, but please know that we all miss you heaps and remember we're always here for you. Even if you just want to vent, anything !
Have a nice long weekend hun, hopefully I'll chat to you soon. Go the Dragons !!!!!
Huge bear hugs and love always :hug:
Beata xoxo

:happyforyou: Yay for Paula! Oh, what a great start to the weekend! How are you and your visiting GF going to celebrate your big BFP?

Diana -- I second everyone's assurance that your are absolutely not a bad mother. It was your deep love for Sebastian that made the situation and the decision painful for you, and that heartbreak and grief over your little boy not having a chance does not a BAD mother make!

Lan -- I'm so glad you popped your head in. I respect your need to have a break from the BB intensity, but know that we love you and still hope things are going well for you! It's so true that we won't reach our goals -- a happy, healthy bubs -- if we don't walk through the fire of TTC and pregnancy. If we're not willing to risk losing our world again, then we will never get what we want. You're right, I wasn't 100% ready when I got pregnant again, and the stars weren't all aligned and life was far from perfect in all other respects, and I was scared ****less. But nothing was going to stop me. Knowing that doesn't necessarily make it so much easier for you in the moment, though... but I wish you all the strength in the world, hon.

I'm sorry that I'm not personal-ing everyone today, but I don't want to keep my butt in this chair too long. But I'm reading everything!

Oh thank you Katie, I am sorry I made you cry though. Say hi to little Anna for me x
Tildy, a big hug and thank you for your encourgement also x

Beata, take care of yourself and keep resting so recovery is quick.

Megan, hope you're ok and can't wait until next week when I can check up on you again. Sending you big hugs.

Hello to all our pregnant mammas - which now includes Paula WOO HOO!!

Big hugs to the TTC-ers.

Hi Lan, glad you popped in. Thinking of you always x

Well I am leaving for the Gold Coast early tomorrow and back late Wednesday night so will catch you all then. Take care everyone.
Love Diana xx

PS: Sue and Beata, thank God you didn't have to use Synarel with your IVF cycle - the stuff is feral and makes me gag. I would rather inject myself 10 times a day than use this stuff.

Diana, that nasty synarel !!! But just look ahead of you hun, and there is that lovely light at the end of the tunnel. That's where you're gonna get to soon. Believe me, every yucky bit is so worth it. If it wasn't for IVF, I wouldn't have had Joshua, and I'll always be grateful for that.

Before IVF, I resented the fact that I had to do it, and was really angry that I couldn't get pregnant naturally. I really resented my DF for having a versectomy, so I just blamed him. I then I realised that he had it done because his ex wife almost died having the last child (she has lupis), so he decided to have the chop. He wasn't to know his marriage would fall apart only a few years later, and that he would meet someone else, and want another child. That is my DF, a very selfless man.

Have a safe trip, and a nice drinky for me at the tropical pool, you lucky duck ! :cool:

Love
Beata xxx

Beata, you're right, every awful sniff is bringing me one day closer to my dream so no more complaining here!

Your DF is a wonderful man. I can totally understand the fact that you wanted to blame him but his reasons were indeed selfless. At least you know you had success with IVF and you will have another baby with him - one to take home this time.

I better get to bed as I have to get up at 6am - yuk.

Paula - CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am so excited for you. May you have the happiest and healthiest 9 months. Whoo hoo!!!!!

Lan - just wanted to add that when I found out I was pregnant with Anna I suddenly was more terrified and anxious than when I was TTC and absolutely desperate to be pregnant! It is a rough rollercoaster that we are all on and TTC is never easy, but it is very much worth it when you do get that BFP and finally your baby. Take care and be gentle to yourself.

Hugs to all - and still so happy for Paula! Yippee

hello girls!
busy weekend helping BIL move house stuff to ours and had to work yesterday, went out last night and work tomorrow but have quickly snuck on as i still did'nt know about Paula. Am so glad i did!!! What a teaser of an announcement! i was leaning into the scren as i was going down!!! CHEEKY!! But i am so so so so so happy for you and so happy your Gf is there to share in the wonderful joy of the BFP with you and DH!!!:dance::clap::dance:
Lan -I so want that horoscope - you are so up my alley asking! I LOVE that stuff!!! Send through -do you have my home email - i'll sms you in case! look forward to reading it!
And although we've been in touch - i am happy you are back on here too!!! Your little funny ways have been much missed!!! xxx
syran - lurking?!? do we need to read more into this , your ok???
berry -hope your going ok! you may be still ok tho -keeping you in my thoughts!!!
beata -you can be a big wuss! you've done so well!!! and i would have been nervous about getting the staples out too! Not the same league -but i remember getting my stitches out when i broke my wrist in everyway you could when i was preg with DS and they were the huge frankinstein type and i was freaking!!! Its another nice recovery sign getting them out and thats great! continue to take care of you ok!!!
have to go girls -sneak on is over! grrr! hi to all i have'nt got to yet!!
have a fab long weekend!!
xxxjo
p.s paula - :leap::happyforyou::hooray: you have lifted my day!!!!

katie -will facebbok you but just saw your sig says Anna is 2 months old!!! Where has that gone!!!!

Hello,

Well AF is well and truly here, so annoying, frustrating and upsetting all in one! :( Anyway, I guess it was unrealistic to get lucky on the first month, so will try and not get too down about it. I think my hormones are still all over the place in anycase.

Beata, I am sure you are glad that the op is over and done with and you can not count down to little frosties being implanted!

Lan, good to hear from you, hope you are doing ok. I am a dragon as well!!! Gosh, I hope the horoscope is right for us this year!

Good to hear from you as well Katie, hope Anna is doing well and sleeping lots for you now.

Paula, how was your weekend, did you buy a baby outfit?

Speak soon
M

Hi Girls,

Been a little bit quiet here, suppose it's the long weekend and everyone has gone away somewhere !

Megan, I'm sorry hun. I was so hoping for some good news from you...But you're right, it always is disappointing when we don't see that little line, but there is always the next time, and your little one will come when he or she is ready.
I'm reading this great book ATM called Echoes of the Soul by Echo Bodine, and it basically says that a child (they refer to it as a soul) comes to us when he/she is ready, not when we're ready. So the book says, we shouln't feel disappointed when it doesn't happen when we were hoping it would happen, but instead be patient as the 'soul' comes when it's his/her time.
Don't mean to blab, but it made some sense to me so I hope it helps you a litle bit too.
Bug hugs hun, and don't worry, invite your little one to come asap and I'm sure he/she can be persuaded !!

Jo76, you are right. I can be a wuss if I want to, dammnit ! I just don't like pain, but then, who does ? I really thought my pain threashhold was a bit higher, lol !

Katie, I can't believe your little girl has already passed the 2 month mark ! Woohoo !!
Next, you'll be telling us she's a year old ! Hope you're enjoying motherhood hun xx

Paula, have you come off the great big high yet ???? I'm still so exited you you hun, well done !!!!!

Big hello to who ever else is around :)

Lots of love
Beata xxx

ooooooooh thank you so much girls. I am still sooooooo excited and on such a high. Funnily just as I typed that a song came on the ipod called, 'I refuse to come down'... appropriate huh!!

So many personals to get through today....

Sue: I pictured you and Lily dancing around your kitchen and it made me smile (as if I wasn't already!!). Thank you for your excitement, it really adds to my excitement.

Jo (LM): it was so funny that you said straight away you thought girl because that is what I was thinking. Funnily enough I really don't care either way now. At one point on the weekend I was actually hoping boy, I've been to 2 psychics recently and one said boy and the other girl so who knows. I guess we'll all find out in about 8mths time!!

Helen: I see you're on the girl bandwagon as well. It made me laugh that you were racing off for your trip away but then checked my chart and rushed another post to put your money on a girl. Sounds like something I would do!! Hope you've had a great trip and look forward to hearing when you get back.

Lan: you came back for me!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so happy to read your post, made me feel like a celebrity that my BFP announcement lured you back to BB, even if just for a little while. I will so have to rush out now and get dark sunnies and designer clothes to go with my celebrity status. And of course some designer baby labels to go with it!! Oh and hang on... rubbing, rubbing, rubbing... there you go, belly rubs done and BFP vibes on are there way through cyberspace to you!!

Megan: I am so sorry that AF arrived for you. I was getting so excited about us sharing a BFP weekend together and having the same EDD. It will make the end of the year much more exciting though because instead of having all the babies come at the same time we will have months of excitement and anticipation. Your turn will come, I am so sure of it. You can have some of Lan's belly rubs if you like. Remember my belly is quite huge (from me eating more bad food) so there is plenty to go round!!

Teagz: A valentines day test sounds so romantic doesn't it. It would really add to your valentine's day celebrations wouldn't it. I will have everything crossed for you and I agree that this is indeed and lucky thread. Again, feel free to share the belly rubs!

Beata: Thansk for you excitement luvvy and I hopy you are recovering well. Its so exciting to think of all the BFP's we have yet to celebrate in here. I am just beside myself at the moment!

Diana: That sniffing sounds wicked, I know its easy to say focus on the end result but sometimes its virtually impossible isn't it! I just hope your trip to the GC is helping take your mind of it and that you have an awesome time so you're well rested for the BFP that'll be coming your way soon!

Tildy: I love reading your posts and totally agree with your comments to Lan. I remember when I first came on this thread and you were all just getting your BFP's or trying for them and I couldn't believe how incredibly brave and strong I thought you all were because I could barely contemplate at that time being able to open myself up to such pain again. What we are all doing takes more courage than most people will ever have to find in a lifetime and not just the being PG part but the whole journey including ttc. How lovely that we have each other to share the journey with. Whenever one of us is having a bad day, someone else is feeling strong and capable and can lend a hand and some words of wisdom.

Katie: You are like this pioneer woman on here. Having a 2mo baby. I am on a healthy kick atm and keep looking at all these after pics to keep motivated and prove to myself it is possible. Well you are my 'after pic' when it comes to producing babies. Anytime I have a niggle of doubt I look at you and go well if Katie can do it, so can I. How lovely that soon there will a whole group of new mum's in this thread. What an exciting 2009.

Jo76: I am so glad my BFP lifted your day. I hate moving so it sounds like a day moving BIL would not have been that much fun. Hows your ttc decision going. I really hope you are able to come to a decision you are happy with soon and selfishly of course, I would love you to be joining us PG women (how funny does that sounds!!) as soon as possible!

Who have I missed, surely someone....

As for me and my high. I am still on it. GF and I have had the best weekend. We spent all day Saturday baby shopping. I didn't buy anything but not because I was afraid, just because I couldn't find what i wanted. I may have another shop today.

I am feeling so confident but whenever I dont' feel nausea I do have a bit of a freak out. It just makes me realise how strong all you PG girls really are because even though I am confident this pregnancy is going to end in me holding a happy and healthy baby, when I do freak out it turns my blood cold and stops my heart and I have to do some quick reassuring to get past it. I am being so pedantic about everything I eat, drink and do. Partly because I want to do all I can for the bub, but mostly because if I am doing everything rght, it is easier to maintain my confidence.

My anchor point at the moment is that I have had a perfect cycle this month so no thyroid/progesterone issues, I have not had a drink since xmas day and have eaten only organic vegan (mostly raw) food, I have exercised 6 days a week for 6 weeks and most importantly, my GF had no idea about testing day and just happended to book her trip at this time. That has to be more than just a coincidence. We both think it was Charlie manipulating things to reassure me that everything is going to be fine this time.

So if I am ever having a freak out girls, make sure you remind me of my anchor point and that I couldn't not have done a single thing more to give this bub every shot!

Anyway, I have rambled for long enough but just wanted to post and say thank you so much for all your excitement. We are not telling people so to be able to share it with you beautiful girls has been a real honour. You are my rock and I hope in 8mths time you will all be dancing round your kitchens celebrating the safe arrival of my little bub!!

love you all
xox

hi girls
firstly huge congrats to paula on the BFP was so excited when i read those three little letters. we lost internet connection on thursday night and only got it back this arvo so was absolutely going bonkers not being able to see what you were all up to especially with dh on night shift. Hope all you other lovely ladies are all doing well and we have plenty more BFP in the coming months.
afm: am off to get my ivf drugs on wednesday so am ready to start when af arrives i'm excited and scared because before chloe i didn't think that we would be able to have a child and now i know we can i won't another one so badly it will be a hard road i'm sure.
for all the girls talking about holding their angels i was so lucky that my wonderful brother stepped up when we had chloe and she had passed away. He actually took photos of all my family holding her and of dh and i with her we have a couple of photo's that the hossy took before she passed away of me holding her hand and then we have the one's after she had passed away. We had her with us for about 5hrs i think in that time they took her and bathed her and bought her back i must say i had a wonderful midwife who was a godsend at the time. you all have wonderful stories and i will write mine very soon as i feel now it was such a special time more then a sad time okay i have rambled enough. have a great australia day everyone

Hi everyone

Sorry I have been MIA for a few days. I have been ill and have had to have my blood sugars monitored and fluids watched as I have had an upset stomach for 5 days so a bit of concern all round. I am fine though so don't worry, just really tired and drained. DF has been wonderful and taking care of me - I am a very lucky girl!!!!

Paula - A huge CONGRATS!!!!! I am thrilled for you. That is sooooo exciting!!!!!!

Beata - I hope you are feeling better after your op. I have been thinking of you xxxx

Sue - I can't wait for the scan. I just want to see this little one's heartbeat. It is on the 9th Feb - 1 week today and I am wishing I could speed up time!!!!

I have also had a bad few days as it was Zachary's 6 month anniversary on Saturday and as happy as I am that I am pg, I was so sad that Zachary was not here.

This is my favourite thread of all and I am so glad you girls have welcomed me with open arms and been such great support. I would never had gotten to this point without you all - so thank you xxxxxx

Hello,

I hope everyone had a good weekend.

Beata, your book sounds interesting. I just hope that my baby's little soul gets a wriggle on and finds its way into my tummy soon :D It's hard to know why it just doesn't 'happen' when you do everything right and at the right time, but I guess that's just the way it is. I'll look out for that book next time I'm in a book store. Thanks.

Paula, sounds like you have been working really hard to be healthy & in shape for your little ones arrival. You should be really proud of yourself! Hope you are feeling well. Lots of rest now for you :D

Dee, exciting news that you can start on your IVF treatment very soon. I am sure its a nerve racking time as well, but a very positive move towards having your much wanted baby. It's nice to hear that you spent so much time with your angel and have lots of photo's to remember her by. It's great that your family were so supportive and thoughtful. Please share your story when you are ready.

Theresa, good to hear from you. I hope that you are feeling better now. The first trimester is always a nervous time isn't it, but glad to hear that your DF is looking after you. Big hugs :hug:for Zachary's 6-month anniversary, I can understand that it's still difficult for you regardless of being pg. Take care of yourself.

AFM, just counting down the days to ttc again.