Susie - sorry about the bfn.... but I am really liking your description of AF. My TCM practitioner says that is a good sign of getting the uterine lining/endometrium in good shape...... so good work, despite the shorter cycle. You know a shorter cycle means more BD'ing? He he.... I am being a little saucy here.
I think it's a good idea to get a second opinion.... no point ignoring your fears. Knowledge is power. Best to deal with it head on. I am so proud of you. And your DH for being so supportive. I know you'll be scared, but when you have your second opinion, you can then talk about it with your Dr and come up with a plan, if one is needed. Fingers crossed no special plan is needed and you get your two lines this cycle.....
I don't think you're a hypochondraic either. I was worried about Ahsermen's syndrome too, amongst many many things. To be honest, I think exploring as many optopns andeven if all you do if get to cross them off the list (and not get any other real answers), is part of the greiving and healing and looking to the future process.
BTW your DS must be coming up to his second birthday this month or has he already celebrated the big day?
We met a couple at one of our classes who are expecting twins. Both DH and I were upset when we first found out, but then we were both nervous for them, hoping that things would go well for them. I just got an email and they are now 27 weeks and their identicial twin girls are just going so well. It really made me feel so happy for them. I know they had been trying for a while and went through IVF for this pregnancy, so their journey hasn't been easy. We haven't shared ours yet, it just didn't seem right to. But it's amazing how other people's good news can make me feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy for them but sad that things didn't work out differently for us.... everone in here knows those feelings all too well.
Thanks for your support and understanding Dory. I have an appointment with the specialist next Thurs and I understand he can tell fairly accurately with a 3D ultrasound if there is any scarring so no need to go through a HSG (if all looks good from scan). I am going to ask him to check my lining as I'll be about cd12. I am feeling less worried as this AF progresses but a big AOK from him will stop my mind churning!!
My gorgeous DS turns 2 on the 29th! Thanks for asking. Gosh time flys. I was watching some video footage the other day of when he was a baby and he couldn't control his limbs...so adorable and made me remember those early days. You really do just forget them. Go buy a camcorder Dory if you don't have one!!
Knowing everything I now know about twin pregnancies, Dory, (too much knowledge is scary sometimes) I would have felt the same about that couple too. Glad to hear everything is going well for them.
FX to some BFP's in here this month!!
GL with your appointment Thurs. I had both ultrasound & HSG. HSG was not as bad as I thought it might be and also got my tubes flushed at the same time ( specialist called it similar to a grease and oil change and that in his experience those bfp's often come within a few cycles of the grease and oil change.... he was spot on for us).
Sory I haven't posted for a while. We've been away...........say no more.....had a lovely lovely break........now I have a tww ......I will post better when I'm not teary and able to think better.....
thinking of you all
K
Kate, I'm glad you've had a lovely break......big hugs hun, I hope you're smiling soon again. GL in your 2WW, I have everything crossed for you hun .
Hiya to everyone, hope you're all going well. GL for those in the TWW , wishing you lots of and and sorry for those with BFNs....hope that there will be a BFP for you soon!!!
Gi - I am not sure about the avvie. I did think about it a while ago but then nothing came of it. Speaking of avvie's- I LOVE yours. DD is just perfect and the rainbow. Of course I knew you and DH to be hotties. You know, I have been thinking about breaking our self imposed ban on DTD or "the drought" as I call it. That is a huge step forward. I can't even remember what it's like to DTD... it's been 6 months. Argh. Do you think I'll remember how? LOL.
Not too long til "testing"...... maybe I should keep everything crossed for you just in case? ( ie then I don't have to confront whether I remember or not... he he)
Hey love, I am sure you could get back on the horse no worries. Hee hee, it is funy what goes through your mind though hey...and the nerves too. If it has been a while for us, i get butterflies in my belly. Go and get down and dirty hun!
Thanks for the 'hottie' remark...you are a gem! DOn't you love what you can do with a cartoon. Thought for sure we could have done something creative with the Karma Sutra after all the TTCing over the years...but i controlled myself. I love having DD there/
Go to go. But one thing...don't ask me why...but that last two days have kind of gone somewhere. I am only CD20 today...so ignore my post yesterday. I spent the whole day yesterday planning for tomorrow, but forgot about today. Talk about lost in time somewhere. Very disorientating.
Kateo - welcome back from your break hun. Hope this TWW goes quickly for you and that you have something to smile about very soon
Suzie - sorry about the BFN but things are sounding good for your cycle this month. Hope the appointment went well yesterday and you got good results on your lining etc. and can rule out Ashberger's.
Dory and Gigi - :-) thanks for being my muscle if I ever need it IRL... I guess that is a hurdle we will encounter at some stage in the future re people's reactions - some people can be so surprising and not always in a good way.
AFM, this looks like our last cycle before ED as everything is now in place to prepare for my evaluation cycle next month. Just a couple of more b/t results to get and an appointment with the psych and we are ready to go. B/ts are all done and psych appointment made so now back to the waiting. I am feeling at peace with our decision now and am trying to be cautiously optimistic about it.
Hope everyone has a great weekend. It looks like a lovely sunny weekend coming up for us which will be nice.
oxo
Hey Cherryl, just wanted to wish you lots of luck with your ED cycle. I think what you are doing is just amazing, I really hope it works for you and you have your much wanted bub soon. I'm glad that you have this new and exciting journey to look forward too. I also don't think you should stop posting in here, after all you are still in your TTC journey, no matter how it is travelled! Good luck to you and your hubby sweetie, I really hope and pray it works for you guys.
Gigi and Beata thanks. It might seem like we have done this very quickly but really it has taken more than 2 years since we were first advised to find an ED to where we are today. Of course we had to accept it first and that meant grieving the loss of my own genetic child. Falling pg kind of threw that process somewhat. But we have done lots of reading and I have spoken to many mums of ED children and have learnt a lot from them and their experiences. If this doesn't work then I guess that will be the end of our TTC journey. What a difficult road we travel!
Thanks again for everyone's kind words and support. It means a lot to me.
oxo
I am finding this thread very helpful. It's so nice to know other people have doubts and worries about their TTC journeys.....it's not nice that they are worried and doubtful, just good to know I'm not the only one.
Chez, your plan sounds very very exciting. I think any child who is loved is lucky, you will love any child you concieve using the process you have chosen. I wish you hope health and happiness in your journey.
Dory, your support and kind word are a constant help to me thanks.
To everyone else thanks, and good luck to you on your journeys.
I am 4 days from the end of my 2ww......arrggghhhh.
I feel weird but not sure if I'm preggas......I'm almost too scared to hope.
I didn't buy into all this TTC stuff so heavily before Ellen was concieved, I just had faith. Since her death I have very very little faith.........
Kate, I have my fingers crossed for you big time hun. This journey does find you losing a bit of faith for a while. I am not sure if it ever ALL comes back but it certainly resurfaces, in part, from somewhere. But most certainly we kiss our innocence goodbye! I hope you are pleasantly surprised this month hun.
Well ladies, CD1 today. We have a fizzer. I am really disappointed although I was losing faith big time in the last few days. I have comfort in knowing my body...i did OV early, strange for me but it was confirmed today with 14DPO and AF starting. We are both Gutted with a capital G! Dh has been a star, I enjoy us reconnecting deeper and deeper everytime we invest in each other. We have had such a strong year together after losing DD. We have always been strong but there is something to be said for sahring an experience like the one we have all been through. No one will ever fully understand but the one who went through it with you. There is huge comfort in that. My second place of call is here! You ladies are incredible and a huge part of my life and support. I just don't know where i woul dbe without you all. Thank you for your love and cheers this month. I will be calling on you all again in a couple of weeks...until then...idle chit chat will be in order.
Now lets see wehn Ov will be this month...i hope it is not making a new habit of things. Regularity...please stick around, you are all I have got to hold onto somedays!!
It's 3 days before AF is due so I did a test.....BFN.....had a huge cry! I did some work this am then went to a good friends funeral. I felt like I needed some good news and felt this was gonna be our month.......seems not......I am devestated. It's weird because my boobs have been tender, I've been a bit nauseous and I've felt that "calm pregnant feeling". Oh well. BUGGER!
My good friend (her hubby's funeral) gave me a hug after the service (where they chose to read one of my poems). She actually said she hopes her Tony sends me a baby! I am blown away by her caring to be thinking of me like that at her husbands funeral! She is a truly amazing woman. I hope I've been doing enough to help them. I've cooked meals for them and popped in quickly to check on them. It's so hard to not smother them but to let them know we are there.
We were going to start IVF this week but as it turns out hubby might have to be out of town right at the "vital" moment so we've decided to wait another month......hope it's the right decision.
Sorry this is all me,me, me, I'm just not coping so well atm.
Thanks for all the support I get
Kate
Oh boy hunny, you are having such a full one time. What a day. I am so sorry for your loss this month. I am also sorry you are surrounded by more grief and the loss of such a close friend. It is perfectly understandable to not be coping so well sweet. You are human and only one woman...which in the spirit of girl power is usually enough to do anything, BUT this is just a lot hun and you can only handle so much at a time. I remember saying once that I just can't handle the same amount of stuff anymore. Your boat gets full and it is closer to sinking point a lot quicker than before.
You are so thoughtful and special to be taking them meals. How kind of you hun when you have so much going on for yourself. You are an incredibly loving friend. I am sure she appreciates it and I am sure she appreciates that you have some understanding to what she might be going through. I know it is different but you know what it is like to have your heart ripped out.
And wow...and IVF cycle. Maybe it is good timing to wait a few weeks so you can catch up.
I am worried for you sweet, go easy on yourself and I hope there is someone there for you too. I went to a funeral a month after we had DD's...it hit me more than DD's funeral. I think because i had to keep it together for hers. The next funeral, was a raw reminder that death does exists, what happen to us was not a dream. It is real and it hurts and it touches everyone. Such a raw awakening...or rather a reminder of what we already know.
Oh hun, sending you a big hug. Hope you get to have a nice bath to prepare for your 'resting time' of the month- AF. I hope you get to start a cycle as soon as you can and I really HOPE you have your dreams come true.
Love and light to you hun. xoxoxo
Hope you are all ok and still waiting to see some BFP's!!
Chez67 - You are an amazing woman and I think it's just beautiful that you will try different avenues to fulfil your dream of having a baby. There is nothing at all wrong with ED and anyone who tries to tell you there is, obviosly hasn't walked a mile in your shoes. You go girl! Fingers crossed for you :-)
Kateo - Hon, I promise promise promise that you won't always feel this awful. When we lost our little boy, I honestly thought life on this earth wasn't worth living and couldn't imagine smiling or feeling happy again. Whilst I do have my moments, and some days it feels like it only happened yesterday, things are easier now and they continue to get easier each day. I'm so sorry you got a BFN. They are the *****iest three letters when put together! I have actually started seeing car numberplates with BFN and BFP and just think I'm a loony! haha - Try and relax and do something nice for yourself EACH AND EVERY day. It gives you that little something to look forward to. Good luck with IVF. When are you starting?
GIGI! How are you? I can't remember when you are testing? Fingers crossed for you and hope this is your month!
As for me, after miscarrying late July, I'm assuming my periods are due within the next fortnight. I had signs of ovulation last week and am already moody and teary so my hormones are certainly giving me a good go of it! We'll be TTC next month and am already a little aprehensive. Whilst I have hated missing a month of TTC, it has also been nice not concentrating on every symptom, niggle, feeling! Oh well, whatever will be will be!
.
, wishing you lots of 
and 
and sorry for those with BFNs....hope that there will be a BFP for you soon!!!
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