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Powelly- Hun, you should stay as long as you like. You will be supported all the same. It is very exciting that you are pregnant, but we also understand there will be apprehension and anxiety. I hope it is not too much and you get to enjoy the pregnancy all you can. Easy to say...but I am sure not easy to do. All my love and wishes for you.
Suzie Q- Oh how lovely and how thougthful of DH....an orgasm a day, wouldn't the world be a better place! I love it. Might tell my hubby that one. I am sure he will get on board. I have also heard that chinese herbs can certainly help to and maybe your AP might help there. I know the combination I took, thankfully helped reduce my blood loss while i was taking them. They worked on my liver and hormones mostly. Massage will help too along with hot packs at certain times of the month...obviously not after ovulation. I would agree not to self medicate...but to self help, i am all for it. Ultimately trust your intuition and if it feel wrong for you, don't do it. Good luck.xoxox
Hey Beata, hope you are enjoying your bubba boy.
Love and hope to all...a little glitter and laughter too. xoxoxo
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Well it turns out this pregnancy isn't sticking. After my BFP on Friday afternoon, I went to the doc on Saturday for blood tests to confirm. I'm due to hear back on Monday. Unfortunately, last night I woke with cramps like reallly bad period pain and it went for about an hour. Still no bleeding but did another First Response test today and the line was fainter than yesterday. I then freaked out and went and got another two tests (Discover ones this time) and as of 5 minutes ago they are negative.
I've never had an early miscarriage and I'm freaked out as I have no idea what to expect. When does the bleeding start? I'm cramping today, not as bad, just like period pain. Can't believe the unbelievable high to the lowest of low right now.
Anyway, if any of you have had this experience or know if/when I'll start bleeding? I'm 99% sure the doc will confirm this when my bloods come back tomorrow :-(
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Oh Powelly hun, I am so sorry. It is such a rollercoaster to such extremes.
Hunny a miscarriage is different for everyone depending on the hormone levels, when the embryo died and your own cycles. You will no doubt have you very own experience through this which will no doubt increase your feelings of anxiety and sadness, but remember you will find understanding in here more than anywhere else. You are not alone so don't ever feel lonely as much as this journey can have other ideas.
My thoughts on when you start to bleed are greatly influenced on my experience alone. I believe the body will when it is ready and that is different for us all, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I know that our DD was not a miscarriage however we waited 6 weeks for her to be born after she died. I waited for my body to be ready to release her and let go of the pregnancy. Sometimes it will take a while for your body to catch up to what is happening...however it sound like it is not far for you as it seems the tests and levels are dropping off quite quickly. You will hold onto those hormones for a while. VERY generally the earlier on, the quicker your body will follow suit...not always the case but it shouldn't take too long. Our miscarriage before DD was a bit strange as i was having it before i knew i was pregnant. I was having positive tests after I lost the pregnancy too. It is so confusing isn't it. I didn't know if i was coming or going. I was so anxious over it and it was our very first pregnancy. I was getting negative tests, had a light period and then nearly two weeks later started 'leaking'. Did a test and I was pregnant but losing it from that point on. Very stressful.
So very different for you hun, you have already grown an attachment, had a positive and then to lose it...Heartbreaking. We are here for you hun and give that darling boy of yours a big hug.
It will all happen when it should and this time of grief is horrible but necessary. My heart is with you babe. take care xoxoxo
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Powelly, I'm so sorry that you're going through such a stressful time ATM. But (forever the optimist) I have everything crossed for you still and I'm praying that the embie is just attaching itself very well into the lining and hence the cramping. Thinking of you hun and huge hugs, hang in there lovely!
Gigi, I'm sorry I must have missed your post about your DD's angelversary. I know how hard those days are, but it sounds like you have an amazing DH and that is so very important, being there for one another when you need it. Big hugs sweetie, I will light a candle for your DD tonight.
SusieQ, GL with your next cycle hun!
Lady Tess, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, may Matthew be forever watching over you and your family. Sadly, we all have an angel/s watching over us here in this thread, but the ladies here are so beautiful and supportive, you will find much love and understanding and heaps of support here. I lost my son Joshua at 21 weeks in October 2008, it really feels like it was yesterday somedays. I was a regular in this thread for quite some time, and the love and support I have received here was just amazing. We have really beautiful bunch of girls here!!!!!
Hi to all the gorgeous girls in here, I hope there will be many more BFPs in here very soon.
Big hugs
B xxx
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Powelly, I'm so sorry hun. Like Beata i'm praying that your little embie is just nestling in a little closer and getting well attached. :hug: Big hugs hun.
Lady Tess, I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug: The wonderful ladies here are such a good support, i don't know what i would have done without them. I hope that your TTC here is a short one.
A big Hello to all you other wonderful ladies, I'm sending lots and lots of :bluedust: :pink-babydust: to you all.
All my love
Bec ooxx
___________________
Me 27 Him 26
:angel:Riley our angel 35 weeks
Smudge due Feb 2011
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Hi All,
Well started miscarrying this morning. Spoke to the doc and my level was only 10 so that was confirmation. I'm in a fair bit of pain and feeling pretty out of whack emotionally which is to be expected. In a weird way I'm relieved that it's all happening quite fast physically. I hate hurting emotionally and I know it's a process that just has to happen. I'm thinking way too far in advance wondering if I can ever go through this again.Right now I can't bear the thought. It's all way too raw right now so I think I'll just go and feel it and try to move forward. Thanks ever so much for your support.
I'm terribly sorry to anyone that this brings emotions up with. I don't want to burden the TTC forum with this.
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Powelly, I'm so so sorry hun. I have no words :cry: , I wish i could reach through the screen and give you a huge hug. :hug::comfort:
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Powelly, I am sorry babe. Thinking of you hun xoxox
Dory, thinking of you this week hun and your beautiful Nicholas. Sending you love and peace. xoxo
Beata, Thank you hun. It was her EDD anniversary. Love to you and your family. xoox
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Powelly: Sooooo sorry hun to hear of your loss. My heart goes out to you big time. :cry: It is such a terrible thing to have to go through. I hope your pain isn't too severe. Big :hug: to you.
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Powelly - I am so so sorry my sweet. Go gently on yourself during this heartbreaking time. And don't worry about burdening this thread, it's not a burden to provide support to our friends.
Gigi - thankyou my love. How are those photos going? Do you still do it or have you given it a skip for a while?
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Dory- The photos are going well. I don't have a lot of confidence in my skill, but getting there. Still do it. Just gave a big album to a friend yesterday with all her Byron shots. They were really happy with them ...i try not to but don't take compliment well. As far as I am concerned, the subject was a HUGE help to the end product. I had a few days to play around with her and the kids. I enjoy it and that is the main thing, what comes of that is more than they had before and something to cherish. xoxo Thanks for asking hun.
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Powelly - I am soo soo sorry about what you are going through. Don't think it is ever a burden to unload - if we can't keep it real in here then where can we?? My thoughts are with you.
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Powelly, I am so saddened by your news hun, I was really hoping and praying for a good outcome for you. Just please know that I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs my sweet. And please don't feel like you are a burden here, we are all here for you always. Take it easy hun, and as hard as it is now to contemplate another go at TTC, we will all be here for you when you decide to take that step.
Big hugs
Beata xxxxxx
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Hi Ladies,
Powelly – I’m so sorry about your loss. That's just devastating and this is absolutely the place to let it all out. Sending you a big hug sweetie. :hug:
Tess – I’m sorry you find yourself needing to be here, but you will find lots of support and understanding. Hope your stay is a short one.
Gigi – It’s so hard when you have friends with a child the same age as your angel baby. I’m glad you were able to spend time with friends who understand.
SusieQ – LOL on the medicinal use of the big ‘O’. DH has happily volunteered to administer a daily dose!
Hi also to Samcougar, Teni, Hope, Chez, Dory and everyone else.
AFM – Getting ready for surgery this Thursday to remove a small fibroid from my uterus. I’m pretty tired of getting poked, but figure I should do whatever I can to improve my chances. Needless to say we’re taking this month off from TTC.
Also been researching everything I can on uterine blood flow. I purchased a ‘fertility’ yoga/acupressure DVD which is supposed to help with that. I’m terrified of needles, so I’m not sure how I would do at acupuncture (although I’ve heard that works wonders). I am also seeing my GP today to see if he will help with executing and monitoring the protocol that the RI develops over the next few weeks. Unfortunately, my RE has already indicated that he would probably not be comfortable with almost anything the RI comes up with. Thankfully my GP is pretty open-minded. I’m also seeing a new OB/GYN next Monday, so I hope he’ll be open to working with the RI too.
Love and hugs to everyone!
:grouphug:
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Hi
I thought I might join in here. I lost my daughter Ellen Mary at 41 weeks on 13 Jan this year.
We have been TTC ever since.
Before we got preggas with her we thought always we'd get pg naturally so we didn't stress that much and finally (after 8 yrs of trying on and off) we had her.
Now we are told I am really too old to conceive naturally and that we have unexplained infertility. I guess that basically means the doctors can't work out why we aren't preggas.
We have tried for 5 months and we are going away soon to try and have a short holiday and a break to see if we can conceive naturally again. I am getting acupuncture on Friday.
If this doesn't work we are starting IVF. I am absolutely terrified as I hate the idea of the drugs and intervention. I have to go through with it though as I can't live with myself if I don't try everything.
I feel it was my fault we lost our first baby as it was my job to look after and protect her. I can't let hubby own again by not doing ivf.
How do you cope with the needles and stress of IVF after losing your only child?
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Hi Ladies,
Powelly, how are you going hun? Thinking of you sweetie xxxxxx
Chris, GL with your op. on Thursday. How big is your fibroid and is it the only one? Where is is located? Sorry for so many questions, I feel like a fibroid 'queen' having had a massive one removed before I had Cam (it was the reason why I lost Josh), and I've researched for months on the topic.
Mine were three fibroids that grew together into one big one, before I did IVF (which we had to do anyway, the fibroid wasn't the reason why we had to do it) it grew to 14 cm. We still went ahead with the IVF treatment as it was too risky to try to remove the living fibroid, but sadly we lost our pg as the fibroid degenerated (died) in the uterus. Since the fibroid died and there was no blood supply to it anymore and easy to remove, I had the myomectomy op. in Jan last year and then conceived Cam in July through another cycle of IVF.
Hello Kate, I'm glad you decided to join this thread! Sweetie, it is sooooo easy to blame yourself for your loss, after all who else is there to blame when you are the one that carried your precious one? The thing is, we all do our best to protect our little ones, so when things go wrong it's so natural to blame ourselves. I think that when you stop blaming yourself (it took me a long time, and I only stopped eventually as I was getting some councelling which helped) you will get on track emotionally and be ready to face the TTC journey. It is a terrifying one, but taken by so many girls in here, with wonderful results. I really hope your stay here is a short one.
As for IVF, I have been down that path. My DF had a vesectomy done 14 years ogo (he was married before meeting me and has 3 grown children) so when we got together we wanted kids of our own. He had the vesectomy reversal done in 2007, and although the initial prognosis was that the op. went very well, the procedure was unsuccessful in the end. We were told that the longer you leave the reversal the bigger the chance of the reversal failing. So I was absolutely gobsmacked and terrified that we really had no option but to do IVF. I really wanted our children to be conceived naturally, so I really struggled with the thought of doing IVF. Fortunatelly I don't mind needless, and luckily I breezed through the treatment. I ovulate on my own, so the cycle was pretty straight forward, without too much intervention. The needles are sooooooooooooo tiny like a thin hair, that I didn't even feel the injections. The pinching of the skin hurt more!!!!! Anyway, enough of my rambling. I really hope you conceive naturally on your holiday, so hopefully no need for IVF!!!! GL hun.
B xxx
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Kateo - I’m so sorry for the loss of your DD, especially given your struggles TTC. You will find lots of support and understanding here. Like Beata said, you are not to blame for what happened, although I know it can be difficult not to feel like you are. I’m occasionally not on speaking terms with my reproductive organs since they are proving to be a bit useless for anything other than PMS and AF.
I have also been told that I am ‘too old’. Actually, I was told that at 38 (now 42). Since I have managed to get pregnant 3 times in the last year (unassisted), I’m starting to think that’s a bit of a load of cr@p, so don’t let anyone discourage you on that account! Although age is a factor, there is a lot you can do to improve your chances. Have you been to a reproductive endocrinologist or reproductive immunologist to try to determine why you have such difficulty TTC? There is a lot of testing that can be done, if you’re interested. If you can get to an RI, they tend to be more exhaustive in their testing. A good book to check out is ‘Is Your Body Baby Friendly?’ by Dr. Alan Beer. You may want to try this avenue before IVF to see if you can do it on your own, or if nothing else to improve your IVF chances (especially given the cost).
About the IVF, we did that a year and a half after our first loss. I am pretty phobic about needles, but I was able to make myself do the injections. DH gave me the progesterone shots (big needle in the bum). He was terrified of hurting me, but he did a great job and I barely felt it. Try icing the area for about 5 minutes first, then have the shot, then ice afterwards. It cuts down on the discomfort and bruising. The other shots are in the tummy. I ended up doing these myself. I almost threw up out of fear the first time, but I got it done and it got easier as it went along. The tummy needles are very short and very fine. You honestly can’t feel them, but it’s the actual skin breaking that freaks me out. If you don’t have a problem with shots, then it should be a cake walk.
About the stress, I can only suggest that you take time to nurture yourself. Listen to your body and make sure you’re emotionally ready to handle IVF. You may feel like time is running out (I feel like that all the time) but to go into a stressful situation when you’re already stressed out may not be helpful.
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all of this, hun, but we’re all here for you. :hug:
Beata – Thanks for thinking of me. My fibroid (only one) is 1cm and only about 30% of it protrudes into the uterus – right at the top of the fundus, but not blocking either fallopian tube. The Dr’s not even sure he’ll be able to find it to remove it, but we’ll still try since implantation at that site will most likely not be viable. He doesn’t think this is the reason for my recurrent miscarriages, but removing it will improve our chances. The RI hinted that she thinks my primary problem is autoimmune and poor uterine blood flow, but she can’t say anything definitive until the test results come back. This is my second fibroid removed. The first was just prior to my IVF and was about 2cm. FX my doc can remove this one and that the RI can come up with some treatable reason for why we keep losing our babies.
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I am so sorry to hear this Powelly. :hugs:
Kate : Hello and I am glad I am not the only Newbie here :D I am sorry either of us have to be here at all :( We lost our boy in Feb of this year but due to bleeding we only have been TTC since April. I have hopes this month, but next month I will be put on a course of Clomid... I am terrifyied at the prospect as I already have majpr modd swings during ovulation... lol I have been told Clomid enhances these... EEEEK
The way I see it is we do what we need to (intervention or not) to concieve another child. Someone on this thread (Sorry I cant remember her name) mentioned late loss women are what she calls "childless mothers" we have done everything and got everything ready to have nothing at the end of the tunnel. I really do feel the only way to move forward (notice I delibratly dont say move on???) is to concieve and deliver. Come home with that bundle of joy we had been craving for in the first place. JMO
Tess
