Chez67 and Gigi1 - I know we all go through it. trying to resist the testing temptation. For me, it's almost an obsession. I justified it to myself as last two cycles have been short at 24 days and thought that at day 21 it might only be 3 days before AF due, therefore MIGHT bet a BFP. This is despite the big O signs this month being elusive, but probably not at day 8 or 9 so as to give a 24 days cycle. And as you've said it's hard not to feel glum even when I anticipated the BFN but hoped for the BFP.
I have no plans for testing again, until perhaps day 28. Will see. I just know I need to wait.
I am glad that the holiday is going well - I can't believe it 4 books! I used to read vociferously like that, but it's something that's been absent for me this past year. I just don't have the energy to sustain interest in either non fiction or fiction novels.
How are you doing at ravishing DH? You'll be in the 2WW soon. Wishing you lots of babydust, I'll hopefully throw some my way too!
AFM - I have been feeling glum. Lots of reasons. Here are some. BFN ( self induced because testing too early), been having some quite noticeable fatigue, thirst, brain fog, hunger, headaches, nausea for at least 7 days ( GP thinks most likely a virus but has sent me off for some BT's and GTT just in case - would love to imagine that are all BFP symptoms), not sleeping well, the twins EDD is coming up as is Amelia's first anniversary, and found out yesterday a work colleague who I thought could extend me some understanding, is just a selfish snake who is totally self absorbed and is an underminer/back stabber. Luckily I have the support of other colleagues/supervisors, but it's just disappointing and makes it harder to be at work. But thinking about how she's interacted with me this year, over the whole year, she has in fact never offered any condolences or even acknowledgment of my losses or even genuinely asked how I was, and has only been focused on her. So I wonder why I am silly enough to be both surprised and disappointed and in the scheme of things, she is not a person who is important to me. If she is not important to me she has no power over me. Wow, that was a whinge huh? This is one of those rare moments for me when the glass is half empty. Back to the counselor for me.
I don't expect this to be easy but some days its pretty damn demanding and seems insurmountable. I know I'll get through it, just needed to share. Thanks for listening and thanks in advance for the words of support in reply.
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