TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth Sept 2009

Yay!

I am not sure what happened but am glad we are back on!

Hi Chez - If I ovulated on the day I was supposed to (last Wed) then I would be 5 DPO today. I am really not 100% sure I did ovulate though - this happened when I fell with Alexander. I must have ovulated really really late (had given up on BD for that month) because I fell pg and found out when I was almost 3 weeks late for AF. That cycle I was also on clomid/pregnyl. Pains seem to have subsided only today and had strange stretchy type CM :redface: on Saturday. The clinic want me to test on the 21st so :crossfingers: it all works out!!

I hope you are out of limbo land soon - our emotions can be a good indicator sometimes!!

How is everyone else? I hope you are all going well :bluedust::pink-babydust:

xo

Hello lovely ladies!

Wow, something weird was going on in here! Seems to be all fixed up though, yeepee!

Aries, I wish and pray very hard for a BFP to come your way :pray:. I'm not sure about the 'O' pain being on the oposite side where your dominant egg was released, but I do agree with Cheryl about the referred pain. Good luck honey, I really hope you O'd and caught that little eggie!

Cheryl, I hope the new herbs bring on the AF for you sweets, fingers and toes crossed that you're out of 'limbo land' very soon!

Hi Blessedatlast, Samcougar, Teagz, Megan and anyone else I missed!

I am so hot here! I'm getting lots of stretchy pains and OMG there is something going on in my intestines as I have gone to the loo more than 10 times today and had about 7 bowel movements!!!! So sorry for TMI! I started taking benefibre (for softer poos) and Inner Health Plus for billions of friendly bacteria, I drink yakult every day and lately I have been having a special cereal to make me more regular.....well, I think I have taken on too much! lol. Oh well, I at least I am not constipated 24/7!

Big hugs to all and lots and lots of :bluedust: and :stickyvibesgirl: for everyone!

B xxx

Good Evening Ladies!

Hope you are all doing ok...........

Chez - any news on AF yet?? I hope you have an answer to your cycle soon :pray:

I am feeling a little sick today. Very nauseous and very hot...... I think I am going down with a stomach bug. YAY.
I would love to say its a pg in the making but I really dont think so. I would only be 7DPO if I O'd when I was meant too so too early to tell anyway.
Lots of pulling pains around my ovaries and a huge increase in the TMI stuff! :redface:
Fingers are still crossed though!

Hi Beata - hope you feeling great!

Blessedatlast - :hug: to you hope you are ok

Hi to everyone else. Any updates??

Hugs xo

Oooh Aries, I'll keep everything crossed for you hun and :pray: it's a BFP on the horizon for you!!! Keep us posted :p

Hi Aries

I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you hun and lots of :pray: for a BFP for you :hug:

oxo

Oh Aries I :pray: it's your long awaited bundle!!
been waiting for a BFP to jump on from here :)

Hi ladies

I just wanted to pop in to tell you all that AF arrived yesterday morning :dance: I don't think I can remember being so pleased to see her. I really, really :pray: hope that this is the end of the never ending cycles and that I can finally get back to the serious business of TTC, or at least practicing! :D

Hope you're all having a great weekend!

oxo

Hi Ladies!

Chez - Thats great news for you.... I dont think I have ever typed that about AF before lol!!!! I am so pleased you now know where you are up to. Good luck for next month :crossfingers:

Teagz, Beata and Chez thanks for crossing your fingers for me, I will have some news on the 21st - thats when I can officially test with the FS. Gonna hold out until then! No symptoms or anything, just feel normal. :pray: like mad AF doesnt show up!

:hello: to everyone else... Hope you are all well xo

Take care
xo

Hi Ladies,

Cheryl, woohoo for AF arivng!!! It does seem the cycles are finally getting shorter for you hun which is fantastic! I am praying and hoping very hard for you that BFP visits you soon :pray:

Aries, I continue to pray very hard for you until the 21st, lets hope a BFP popps in here very soon!!!! I would so dearly love to see a BFP in here!! GL hun :pray:

Hello to everyone else, I'm travelling OK, going again on Wednesday next week to peek between those little legs....ha ha, hope they are not crossed this time!

Big hugs
B xxx

Ches, woo for AF! I remember the first time I got AF after losing Jayvan I was pretty chuffed as well... it's so good knowing when you're body is cooporating with you :hug:

Aries, :pray: for no AF either for you! When I fell pg with this little bubba I had no symptoms either. When the +ive came up on the POAS I almost fell off/in the toilet. I POAS for three consecutive days and took them all to my DR and didn't really believe it til I got a BT back. I hope you have a little quiet surprise in there too ;)

:hello: blessedatlast :hug: It's coming up to Jayvan's first birthday/anniversary too and I've been in a bit of a bitter place lately. I shouldn't be, I'm very greatful that I have been given a second chance, I just really wish I could have snuggled my first bubba before having to experience all this nasty pregnancy stuff. :hug: be kind to yourself, and do something nice and relaxing on your little ones special day xx

Hi ladies

Aries you are so strong to not be tempted to POAS before the 21st! I am always in two minds whether to do it or not and of course the time I had no expectations or symptoms at all was when I got my BFP. So, I hope and :pray: that just because you haven't had any symptoms you will still get your BFP!

Beata, good luck for next week that your little one cooperates. Do you have a feeling already whether you're having a boy or a girl? I just knew it was a boy as soon as I got my BFP. I don't know why, but then the odds were pretty good weren't they?

Teagz, I hope you are doing ok coming up to this anniversary. It seems so far away for us at the moment but it is something I am thinking about and not looking forward to.

AFM, I want to say a huge thanks :grouphug: for all the kind words of support. I know it was only AF but I was pretty happy. Right now I am just trying to get/keep healthy - still exercising 5 or 6 times per week and being careful with my eating. I am losing weight, slowly! I have started using the Fertility Monitor we bought while in the UK. I'm not supposed to use it until I have 2 'normal' cycles but I can't wait. To my mind it just means I might use a few extra test sticks which doesn't bother me, but it will give me and my TCM so more information so I think that has to be a good thing.

Anyway, gotta go and make a big pot of vege soup for the week.

Take care all and sending lots of :bluedust::pink-babydust: to everyone in here. We need some Christmas BFPs!

oxo

Hi Everyone :)

I am up and down like a yo yo! I have been so busy as I have been on vocational placement as the last part of my course.. I am really enjoying it. Today was so hot though and I was in the dementia wing.. Wow, it is very mentally draining but I do like it. I couldn't wait to get home and have a glass of wine (or 10, lol). Not long now til my babies 1st birthday! I rang a balloon place today and they are giving us 1st birthday balloons to release for free.. How lovely, I nearly cried. Actually I did cry! We are going to a friends birthday party the night before and staying in surfers that night, but I am not sure where we will do the balloon release yet.. Probably a park somwhere just with family and the babies godmother who is my best friend. She is awesome. I am still depressed cos I am bleeding.. I spent a whole 9 days before I started to bleed again. On the 8th day I though maybe this would be a normal cycle but no, next morning hello!.. I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!

Aries my fingers are crossed for you :)

Teagz when is Jayvan's birthday/anniversary? I hope you are ok.. Sending you :hug: I also sent out a letter to family and friends. I put Taite and Seth's picture on it and a couple of little quotes then just rambled on about how I want them remembered and suggested ways they can eg; light a candle etc. Then very subtly at the bottom I suggested they could donate to Bonnie Babes (My saviour!) or buy a bereavement bear and donate to the hospital. I got the template from another blog then just changed some things around. I think originally it was from Sands. Anyway, I will put it on my site if anyone wants to look at it. I also put a notice in the sands newsletter. I hope I didn't miss the cutoff :( anyway what I wrote in there was: Taite and Seth 21/11/08 - 3/12/08

'A million words can't bring you back, I know because I've tried, a million tears can't bring you back, I know because i've cried. If love could have saved you, you never would have died'

Happy 1st Birthday our beautiful Babies, We hope you are having fun together playing in the stars and with all your other angel baby friends. We miss you so much.

Love Always Mummy, Daddy and Big Brother J xxxx

Anyway, I have rambled on long enough hi to everyone else :)

:

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Teagz when is Jayvan's birthday/anniversary?

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11th of december (:

Hi ladies

Blessedatlast - What a beautiful verse about your lovely babies. You made me cry, for the 2nd time today! And how wonderful for the balloon place to give you free balloons. What you are planning sounds lovely - releasing them in the park with just you guys and your friend. I hope you have a peaceful day :hug:

The 1st time I cried today was when I found out that a friend is pg. It was about this time last year that she fell pg. We found out about 2 weeks later that I was pg as well. But then she lost her baby in January and I lost our baby in March. It is all so sad but I am happy for her that she is pg again (just needs a b/t to confirm but HPTs are showing a BFP). I wonder if I will ever fall pg again?

Anyway, its been a pretty cr@p day so am going to try to have a quiet night. DH is away for work again so it is just me and the fur babies on the couch! :hello: to everyone

oxo

Hi Ladies

Chez - :hug: to you. Im sorry you had a bad day and hope that the one's following are better. My fingers are crossed for you next month!

Blessed - Just like Chez I cried when I read your amazingly beautiful verse for your babies. I too hope that the day is peaceful and that you get a lovely day for it. I will be thinking of Taite and Seth on the 3rd.

Teagz - how are you? I hope you are fighting fit and cruising along nicely! Lol about falling in or off the toilet I did that last time - caught me totally off guard :o

Beata - Oooh I hope your little one co-operates for you to see the bits! Good luck! I hope you are travelling along nicely.

Hi to anyone I have missed....

AFM - I am officially 1 day late for AF - according to the pregnyl injection that to make me ovulate on the Wed 2 weeks ago. I have huge bb's and tender nipples and just slight pulling pains in my uterus/ovaries not too bad though. Nothing like my AF pains. Very tired but otherwise feel ok. Maybe a little nauseous if i dont eat but thats pretty normal for me anyway. So as you can see it could still go eithier way, will just wait it out until Saturday. I want to be positive about it all but would be devastated the get the wrong answer! So fingers crossed ladies..... Time will tell :pray:

Take care
xo

Aries, I have goosebumps for you! I :pray: when I login on Saturday I see some amazing news :D

oooooh Aries, I'll be praying for you so hard until you test on Saturday!! Oh God let it be a BFP!!!!! All signs are good so far, not too long to go hun :pray:

Pssssss (I'm having a wee little boy)

Hi to all the lovely ladies in here and wishing you all lots of :pink-babydust: & :stickyvibesgirl:

B xxx

Hi ladies

Aries - wow! :o I have all my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you for Saturday! :crossfingers:

Beata - very sneaky but I still saw the fine print! Congrats on a little blue bundle. How did you find out? Weren't you waiting for another scan or did you have that already - this week has flown by!

Teagz - :hello: good to see that you're still popping in to check up on us :D

AFM, had AP today which was nice and relaxing. Shame I had to rush back to work afterwards! Anyway, am feeling really positive about this cycle. I'm using the fertility monitor, I'm on new herbs, I'm exercising, eating well, caffiene free (and alcohol mostly), and losing weight. Now if only I could control everything else I'd be pg in a jiffy! :lol: Gotta go and cook dinner. DH should be home any minute.

Take care all
oxo

Thanks so much ladies!

Beata that is fantastic news, congratulations on your blue bundle xox

Quick one from me.... very tired (big day - not reading into anything :rofl: as if!) and wanting to spend some time with DH.

Bestest wishes to you all

xo

Aries & Cheryl, thanks ladies! I had a scan on Wednsday as two weeks ago bub had it's legs crossed!

Seriously, you two are in line for the next round of BFPs. I am very loudly and proudly cheering for you, praying for you and doing my famous 'baby' dance (like the rain dance he he he) so BFPs pleeeeeeease show yourselves!!!!

Aries, being tired is such a good sign, and Cheryl you're probably in the best shape and frame of mind ATM, so I am praying for the both of you girls :pray::pray::pray:

I'll be popping in everyday to check on you two!

B xxx

I have to pop in to say I'm cheering here too!!! I so hope this is the month... :pray:

Thanks Beata and Inanna! I can almost hear your cheering :D

And Beata, :ROFL: at you doing your famous 'baby' dance. I really hope it works :pray:

Aries, I hope the tiredness is from other things other than a big day. You're testing tomorrow right? I'll be lurking waiting for your post! :crossfingers:

AFM, I'm crazy busy at work ATM. I didn't leave until 5.30pm - I swear I was just about the last person in the building! Anyway, trying to keep calm and stay positive. I am SOOOOO looking forward to the weekend.

Take care all and have a relaxing weekend, and stay cool. It's going to be in the high 30s here! :o

oxo

Good morning everyone unfortunately I got a BFN this morning so I am not very hopeful. Thanks for your wishes and hopefully next month will be the one. I will come back for personals later. Just a question, how sensitive are the hpt's from the docs?

Hi Aries

Sorry for your BFN hun :hug: That must be very disappointing for you. I understand completely where you are at the moment.

And to answer your question, I have never used a HPT from the dr. I try to use the First Response HPTs as I believe they are very sensitive. I think the ones from Lullaby Conceptions might be too. Some of them actually say on the box or instructions inside how sensitive they are. e.g Lullaby is 10mlU/ML which I think is pretty good.

If you have any doubt and AF doesn't arrive, try testing again, maybe on Monday morning. You never know for sure until the fat lady sings (or AF arrives :D )

Take care hun.

Hi Ladies,

Oh Aries, I'm sorry hunni :hug: I hope next month is successful for you :crossfingers: I agree with Cheryl, First Responce HPT seem to be very sensitive, I think you can test up to 7 days before your AF is due and most times it shows a BFP is you're UTD.

Cheryl, hope things slow down for you at work. We are crazy busy at work too, since we've announced a week ago that our manufacturing part of business is closing down in March/April next year, and all of a sudden the customers are panicking and we have been getting heaps of big orders. That means heaps more work for me too! I just have that nice finish date in my sight now (22 Dec) can't wait until then!

Hi to blessedatlst, samcougar and anyone else lurking in this thread, wishing everyone lots of :bluedust: :heartbeat:

B xxx

Just a quick post! I've been Crazy busy at the moment and i'm still lurking around spying on everyone :D

Aries i'm so sorry you got a BFN :hug: Maybe you could try with a more sensitive test??? i've never used a test from the dr.

:hello: to everyone else.well i really think we are overdue for some BFP's in here now. Some nice early Chrissy presents maybe? :pray: :crossfingers:

Hi,
I wanted/didn't want to come in here and introduce myself. I gave birth to our beautiful sleeping baby girl back in April when she was 28 weeks. It has been a very difficult year to date as i am sure you will all understand, sadly. We have been trying again for a while now and thought I might help increase my support to get through this. I have been finding the last couple of months quite hard. I miss her terribly and what our life was going to be like. Going through hell with family atm as a result. I hate this so so much.
We are trying our best to fall pregnant as I know time has not been on our side. I am 33 and it took 10 yrs to fall preg with DD. I have encouraged myself to try again sooner than i was really ready as i know that ttc after being pg is better asap. That adds a bit of pressure. Because a part of me wants nothing more...another big part of me doesn't want to share my life with another other than DD.
I am a bit full up at the moment to be honest. Not handling much well at all. Completely surrounded with Pg and Babies and I find myself wanting to be alone to handle my stuff. I am reaching boiling point often and I am just so angry all the time. So angry.

ANyway sorry to rant on. I hope it helps being here.
I am so sorry for you all to have a baby die. I am just so sorry. I understand to some extent the gap in your lives. I recognise your pain.
Love and thanks
HM x

Morning Ladies

Chez - I was too scared to test this morning! Stupid ey? I too like you thought that AF didnt arrive by today that I could still be in with a chance. The pregnyl injection I had was suppossed to make me ovulate so I dont understand why AF hasnt shown up yet...... I will see how brave I am tomorrow morn! Thanks xox

Beata - Thanks for your kind words too. I am still a little hopefull - only until AF arrives! No signs yet but sometimes she can show up without any signals. I have to say I have never had such clear skin before AF........... We will see. Hugs to you xox

Samcougar - Hello! Nice to hear from you - I hope you are doing ok. Thanks for your kind words also..... I will try a more sensitive test if it gets to next weekend without AF. Take care xox

Gigi1 - Welcome to our little thread, I wish it could be in better circumstances though. I am very sorry you lost your beautiful angel and I know the place you are in right now. I want to be pg again but I too am a little scared that I might be replacing my angel son and that I will compare what I should have been doing with him. TTC again is stressful after a loss. I have found the pressure to have another baby is hard too. I luckily have a supportive family but I can feel that they are holding their breaths until we announce again.
10 years is a long time (we took 4 years), how heart breaking for you. You are allowed to deal with this situation in any way you see fit. I found that it was a "damned if you do, damned if you dont" reaction by others. If I wasnt crying uncontrollably or looking really sad - I was heartless and didnt care. On the other hand if I didnt leave the house and just bawled - I needed to move on. People reactions surprised me the most - but I had to remember I was speaking to people who hadnt been in our situation and really didnt understand.
I hope you find comfort in this thread, the ladies in here are so supportive and know what you are facing. Take care xox

Aries, thank you so much.
I totally understand the 'damned if you do and damned if you don't' phenomenon(sp). I just want to scream somedays. I have stopped wanting to deal with other poeple and their reactions. Being made to feel that my situation make speople feel bad. Everyone seems concerned for how it might look, how I make others feel, 'casualties' and trying to please everyone. I am so tired of it. They say they don't feel this way but actions speak louder i guess. Both my SIL are pregnant and tip toe around me. Luckily my friends that are pg seem to understand a little better. They want to inclue me anyway and allow me the power to feel the way i choose about it. They don't make the assumption for me. I feel like family are exactly as you say...worried and think I need psych help if i don't answer the phone...and then on a good day they think I can handle the world. Mum made the comment that she wants to be able to speak to me without upsetting me. This was after she made comment for a tiny baby in a shopping centre and wondered why was stand offish and not going gaga. This is only 3 months after DD was born. I will always be sad for DD and some days more than others. I feel like pushing them all away. I think i resent having to deal with their stuff too. I just wish I was having to deal with me and I was allowed the space to do so. I know I am partly to blame for not standing up to people. I just dont't have a lot left for managing relationships. I guess i needed to lean on my family to pick up the slack for a while.

Thanks so much Aries for your kind words of support. It does really help to hear from others who understand. I think that is the biggest thing, finding that connection with other people to know you are not going mad and everything is as normal as it can be.

Thank you
HM xoxo

Dearest Gig1 (HM)

I am so glad that you managed to find your way to our little thread. You know that I understand very much where you are and where have been. It might not seem like it, but we have all journeyed a great distance these past 6 months :hug: and most of it has been very hard. I understand your anger and your sense of frustration, and wanting your DD and the life that you had planned to have with her. That is still possible, but your baby will be in a different physical body when he/she does come. That is what I believe anyway.

I can't remember if you are getting help from a counsellor or phsych. I found talking to a psych was very helpful and made me seperate my feelings of loss and longing for a baby, from the guilt that I was carrying around.

I also found several good books that helped, and made me cry, and made me realise that I am not alone. Those and the wonderful ladies here in this thread have really helped a lot. If you would like, I will post you the books that I found most helpful. Just PM me your address. I'm not using them anymore so they are just collecting dust on the bookshelf!

Take care and be gentle with yourself on those bad days
oxo

Hi Girls

Just a super quick hello to you all and I hope you are well. Just to let you know I contacted my FS today regarding missing AF and slight tuggy pains in my ovaries and they have sent me off for a BT. Results tomorrow. I am very excited but dont want to get my hopes up too much .......... too late :rofl:
Anyway please cross you fingers for us and I hope to post some good news tomorrow!

Hugs to all
xox

Aries, Good luck sweety. Wish you all the luck in the world. Hope the result is everything you have dreamed. Will be thinking of you.
Hm xoxo

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Hi Girls

Just a super quick hello to you all and I hope you are well. Just to let you know I contacted my FS today regarding missing AF and slight tuggy pains in my ovaries and they have sent me off for a BT. Results tomorrow. I am very excited but dont want to get my hopes up too much .......... too late :rofl:
Anyway please cross you fingers for us and I hope to post some good news tomorrow!

Hugs to all
xox

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:crossfingers: ;)

Aries- oooohhhh I have everything crossed for you!!! Goodluck today hun :crossfingers: :D

Gigi- Welcome to our little thred, I'm so sorry about your little one. I hope being here and being able to talk to these wonderful ladies helps you through this tough time :comfort: I hope your stay in this thred is a short one :hug:

:hello: to everyone else i hope everyone is well

my love to all
Bec

Aries - how exciting for you! I have everything crossed for you and hope that you post tonight so that you don't keep us all in suspense! Another BFP in here would be a good sign. :crossfingers:

oxo

C'mon Aries... we're hanging out here ;)
I :pray: it's some special news!

Thanks ladies for your thoughts but it wasnt meant to be........... again. The nice big follie they saw on the scan turned out to be a cyst as I didnt ovulate at all :doh: (cant they tell the diff on ultrasound??). I triggered a cyst!!! So one whole month gone. I am not happy, I have actually found myself quite angry. Not at anything in particular, probably at my body if anything. I havent ovulated on my own since Alex's birth. I dont know whats going on. The signs were all looking good, I think even the FS was surprised!

Anyhow back onto the primolut to bring on AF, scan and then onto the clomid. So we begin again..... :wall:

I hope you are all travelling along nicely and I agree we need another BFP in here! Good luck to you all. Will be back later for personals, not really in the frame of mind right now.

Thanks again, you are all wonderful :grouphug:

That... is very strange :o
I'm sorry chick, I was getting my hopes up for you too I can't imgine how disappointed you'd be feeling right now
:hug:

Oh Aries, I am sorry hun. I was really hoping for you.
Love Hm xx

Aries- I'm so sorry, I was :pray: so hard for you. Big :hug: hun!