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Thanks Tashy - how are you going hon?
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CONGRATULATIONS SARAHRACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's awesome news. Go the YEAR OF THE RABBIT! Your feelings are all normal so no matter what you are feeling, you are on the scale! I'm still moving through differing emotions ranging from sheer panic to sheer delight with a dull anxiety every day and I'm 15 weeks along! Hasten slowly, one day at a time and enjoy the ride :-)
Missing all you girls. Hoping everyone is well and that there are more BFP's to come!
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Just popping in to say hi everyone in here too! I miss this thread :(
Congrats again to those with the new BFPs (and big sticky vibes ladies!) and hoping like Powelly there are many more to come!
Babydust to all TTC!
Big hugs,
B xoxoxoxoxo
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I am with B and Powelly on the baby dust - let me spread some your way. And Gi - thankyou. SaraRach - that is the best way to get through... one moment/day at a time. I am so glad you're feeling boyuant - enjoy it while it lasts ( and I hope it lasts the whole way through)
Anyway, got to go do some housework. So totally unmotivated for that.....
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Congratulations Sarahrach wishing you a H&H pregnancy. I second powelly's comments -one day at a time. We'll get there eventually.
xo
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Chez - how are you going? I like the avvy...... big belly rubs to you my dear.
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I love your Avvy too Chez...how is the pregnancy going for you hun?
Thinking of you xoox
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I hope you dont mind me coming in here. Unfortunately I dont feel like I fit in the TTC after m/c and loss thread because Ive had more than one m/c. But I dont feel like I fit here because I know things could be so much worse for us. I want to give big hugs to all of you :hug:
A little background info - We've had 5 losses. Two in a row after two years of infertility, then one after our first baby, then most recently one in October and unfortunately Im in the middle of our fifth miscarriage :( I feel a bit guilty for being here considering I have children; I should be thankful for what I have but it still doesnt make the want for another baby go away.
I was wondering if anyone has gone through the myriad of testing after you have multiple losses? I think that is one of our only two options at this point in time; the other is being happy with our lot and giving up. Im starting to wonder if there isnt something wrong with ME. With my first two "successful" pregnancies I still had a very difficult time with a multitude of problems. One of our sons has cognitive issues and suspected ASD/SPD. I dont even know how to deal with this guilt that its something Im doing thats caused all of this :(
Anyway thankyou for letting me crash your thread. If I dont fit here please feel free to tell me to shove off.
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Well you can shove that guilt off hunny. Of course you are welcome here and I am so sorry you have had to coem and find us.
Man alive you have been through so much. What a heartbreaking choice you have hun. A whole brood or not, nothing can be more compelling than that desire to have another. Everyone is different hun and we all have our very own suffering no better or worse than the next person...it just is.
I can't help you a whole about the testing...the ohter girls will be able to to that is for sure. I have gone a very alternative route.
Try to romove that guilt for your c ircumstances hun...easier said than done i know. It won't help you to be the best mother you can be. You are perfect as you are and the improvements we all make each day just add to that perfection sweet. Go easy on yourself. You are going through a huge process right now letting go of yet another little angel. I just don't know how you do it. Take your time.
You are always welcome in here.
AFM- Well girls CD18 today and this month is not looking good. I have some serious remodelling to do with our life, my mind and the bathroom. I try not to be but i have hit such negativity with in myself and can't help but feel broken. Oh dear, never mind. I am off to practise with my camera. I am almost on full manual mode now...so very proud of myself, not that that means the photos are my best but i am getting there. Lots of practise to come. oxxoo to all
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Thankyou Gigi :hug:
I think the outside world makes these kind of situations a thousand times worse. People think we are insane for wanting four kids, esp with everything we have gone through to have the three we've got. My inlaws esp encouraged us not to go the IVF route when we were ttc Ds1 (thankfully we got the miracle we were praying for and he came on his own). They werent impressed when we underwent fertility investigation. They were disapproving when we took clomid to have Ds2. When I was on bedrest for the last 20wks of his pregnancy due to dialation and constant contractions, and having to think about making some tough heartbreaking decisions, all they cared about was that DH had to pick up the slack of me being out of action on top of a full time job and an 12mth old. Ds3 was a true miracle, I still wonder how that ever happened. So now they are encouraging my Dh behind my back to get a vasectomy %$(# even though he is 100% happy to have another baby. I do think theyll encourage him not to support me in wanting testing done, and then possibly whatever ART pathway comes from that whether it be drugs or IVF or whatever.
Im so very blessed to have a special group of friends who've travelled these hard roads as well and they are an endless well of support to me. If I didnt have them, or threads like this, I think I would curl up in a cupboard somewhere and cry for a good long while.
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Freya...Oh my, what interesting in laws you have hun. I would take a step to not tell them anything to do with whatever you choose to do. That would be me. My belief is if one can't support your life decisions then one does not get the privilege in sharing in them. They can't call the shots...not fair Fanny! lol
I am so glad you have a good support group around you at times like this. You need understanding so that you can make these hard decisions, fall, fly -whatever the outcome, you should be met with love, forgivenss and compassion hun. No guilt!!
Good luck and here if you need anything. xoxo
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Hi Freya
Welcome to our thread. You are definitely in the right place. The ladies here are so supportive and understanding and a loss is a loss no matter what age the baby. The loss of the future with that child in your life is just as significant.
I agree with Gi about your in laws. If they are not a positive supportive relationship then you need to minimize the information flow to them. You need only positive people around you during this difficult time. I understand where you are at. It was my mum who was the negative person who just expected me to get on with life and told me things such as "it was for the bes" and "boys are always weaker babies". I had to remove her influence and negativity from my life. Whenever she called we only spoke about mundane day to day things such as work. It was superficial but it protected me from these supposed well intentioned commmets. To this day my mother does not mention our DS's name.
I don't have any experience with m/c testing but I know other ladies on BB who have. Dr Sacks in Sydney is the leading dr in this area I believe. I think he even contributes to the expert panel here on BB. If you aren't in Sydney he does phone consults. I hope you can get some answers soon Hun. In the meantime be gentle on yourself. And remember we are always here for whatever you need to say.
Xo
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Hi ladies
Gi you arent sounding your normal positive self at the mo. I hope you are taking time for yourself and looking after you.
Hi dory. Got your pm thanks for thinking of me.
AFM I am doing ok. 17 weeks tomorrow and dealing with the whole puffy ankles most afternoons and even swollen hands and puffy eyes in the morning. And the back pain isnt fun. I don't remember these symptoms last time. Probably the extra weight I am carrying this time hasn't helped. Although by this time I had put on about 6kg where I have only put on2kg this time. Next ob visit is Wednesday so we get to see our splodge again. We went looking at baby stuff in Sydney last weekend as everything here is quite expensive and not much choice. We were overwhelmed with all of the choices. We don't want to spend a fortune and we probably won't start buying for a little while yet. Is good to know what is out there though.
I hope everyone else is doing well. Baby dust to all.
Ox
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Freya - I am so so sorry that your little angel isn't staying.... go gently on yourself at this time.
Sweetie - you have to find a place that you feel comfortable and safe in, and if this is it so be it... stick around and see if you like us. I actually can't say anything better than what Gi did - bannish that guilt, it is nothing you have done, only you can decide what your family will look like and what is right for you, and if your in laws can't treat your decisions with respect then they don't deserve to know and should only know the bare basics.
I am sorry that your journey for DS3 was so hard.... I have just been down the path of modified bed rest from week 7, cervcial suture, steroids, antibiotics... but I didn't have a 12 month old to care for as well. You in laws were not very supportive of you during what is a very hard time.
About testing? Innanna has a really good sticky for testing for recurrent m/c - let me see if I can post the link for you.....https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...rmation-25483/
I have had a whole heap of testing done - pretty much everything on Ianna's list. I haven't had a laparoscopy or testing for NK cells though and I didn't see a reproductive endocrinologist, as it wasn't really indicated in my results. Dr Sacks specialises in NK cells which is an emerging and controversial area of fertility - I think it's called reproductive immunonology. One of the founders of this area of law was Dr Beer from the USA. He has written a book called is my body baby friendly. Well worth a read. It was available from my local library, so try yours. I do know someone who was diagnosed with NK cells and took treatment and conceieved very soon after starting treatment and is now 40 wks and due any day now. Obviously now isn't going to be a good time, but I can ask her to contact you if you like. She's on BB too.
I did go for second and third opinions. Really it's worth pursuing. You may not get any answers but you might.... you just might.
Sending you lots of hugs during this hard time. Grieve as you need to, but then pursue the answers you need. We are always here for support. BTW - a loss is a loss, and all grief is devastatingly hard to work through. Don't feel like you have to diminish your feelings and grief... it is just as important as anyone elses... and in fact more so, b ecause it's yours. Only you have walked the path you have walked. We might have walked similar ones, or have an understanding of what it might be like, but only you know what your journey has been like to walk.
Go gently.
Gi - hmm never heard renovations of the mind and bathroom in the same sentence before.... sending you as much serenity as I can. :)
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Welcome Freya, and sorry for your losses. The other beautiful ladies in here have said everything I wanted to say so I'll just tell you that I had testing after two consecutive miscarriages late last year and they couldn't find anything wrong. The OB was nice enough to bulk bill the many blood tests as there were heaps. He didn't test for NK cells as that was to be the next step. When all came back normal, I decided to just try my luck again and am now 15 weeks pregnant. I also had an ultrasound to make sure that all was ok structurally and it was. Through my experience, I heard MANY a story from people with children or not who had many miscarriages. One had 3 kids and then miscarried 6 times and then went on to have another bub. It's certainly possible and you know you can do it.
Regarding your in-laws. It's none of their business and I sincerely would implore you to not communicate your pro-creating decisions to them anymore. They lost the right to have a part in it when they held judgement. What a disgrace. What you need is support and in here, you will find just that. The decision to have another baby is yours and your husbands alone and I wish you all the best in your TTC journey!
Big hugs to all. Chez, so glad to hear bub is well and you have another opportunity to see him/her. As for the swelling etc, not nice hun. Hope you can find a way around it. I'm also struggling with severe exhaustion and took myself off to the doc again to find out that NOTHING was wrong, iron fine, bla bla bla, I'm pregnant, get over it. Love male doctors! Anyway, I am needing a day sleep to get through the day without falling over in a dizzy mess and unfortunately my 2.5yr old has just dropped his day sleep...ARGHHHHH
Anyhoo, GI, hon, big cuddles for you. I hate to hear that you are feeling so down and negative. Have you got the "Blue Day Book"? Its great for times like this. Chin up chicken, you can do this. Just get back to putting one foot in front of the other and take one day at a time. Looking too far forward is too hard.
Dory, how's HB? Hope you are well beautiful.
How's everyone else tracking? It's been a bit quiet in here...
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Powelly, Chez, Dory, all the other girls, Thanks so much for you thoughts and words of encouragement.
I have been wondering how Cmegles is going with her preg.
Powelly....i can't believe it- 15 weeks...that is awesome.
Chez....17 weeks....well done little munchkin. You have been on my mind a bit as we approach March. Hope you are doing ok. I am prone to a puffy ankle here and there too when the heat is on and I am on my feet for too long. Weirdly one side more than the other.
Love to you all.
We are going to...for update/interest sake, an Adoption Evening tomorrow night. It has been so many years since we looked into it...just in case things have changed. The information might be good although i have a sense that i am giving up.
I think that is what it is...I am a fighter and to be giving up or failing at something is just so crushing to the spirit in me. I am lost to what else we can try to do. I am obviously depressed again which is not helping but still. I am coming to grips with my life being so far from what we had planned, dreamed...envisaged.
See ya guys.
Go get em...xoxox
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Gi - hugs my dear. I hope I haven't asked too much of you at a time when you're doing it so very tough..... let me know?
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All good here my sweet. xoxo
