Well, i got another faint positive, the dr wasn't too convinced though as it took a while to come up and he did say that sometimes if the test is left to dry up a line will appear where the positive line should be,(sound familiar?) he gave me a blood test thing and for some reason he put that i wanted my glucose level and i need to fast for that, and the lady wouldn't do the test with out doing that, so i have to wait for the morning and then i can have the blood test and will know for sure by thursday.
My friend came with me to the drs, and was waiting eagerly for me, when i said i still only got a faint line she said, "dont worry Kat, you are pregnant, and this little hic up of limbo is the only trouble you will have" I hope so, i really do.
I am just so scared that it will be another missed miscarrage/not really pregnant type thing happenening. I think i was ok when i got preg with Zahra because i wasn't keeping any track of dates and it was only when i started to feel really pregnant that i tested and so it was ok- but now, i am just not sure. I hate this. I do feel pregnant- but if i feel it, and i am now nearly a week late, surely my tests would be showing it more clearly by now.
The only other thing i can think of is that i od late in my cycle and we got pregnant late in the cycle, so it may still be very early days. Every other time i have been pregnant and tested the line came up right away very dark- so i am so very confused and at a loss as to how to feel or what to do. I dont want to get excited and i dont want to not be excited if i am.
I feel almost like the world is trying to scare me into not doing this. Dont worry its not going to work- but i feel like i am already stressing out un neccesarily (sorry i cant spell) and i am probably making more of a deal out of not knowing then i need to. I think maybe it is good practice and i am preparing myself for the next 8-9 months of the limbo of whether i will bring this baby home. And by the way i am acting now- i need the practice. I loose patience with other people and myself and i am constantly thinking about it. And i cant stop telling people!!!!!
I have had two people actually ask me out of the blue if i am pregnant again and i had to say yes i might be. I am not scared of telling the people around me everyday because they are all aware of my struggle (not the blow ins who keep coming in but the true locals here, my extended family) and i feel that they need to know as soon as possible to understand why i am suddenly not going to be helping out in the kitchen or bar at all (which they would only assume was because i was pregnant anyway) and i dont want to seem rude if i am having a bad day- so they need to know where i am at. And also if the worst does happen at any stage i would want them to already know, not just find out because i had another miscarrage.
As for my loving (HAHAHA) family, i will not be telling them (except my mum, she already knows) and i will be interested to see how long it takes before one of them actually knocks on my door to see me, and then i will tell them when i have a huge belly poking out in front. Until then they dont need to know.
well i am in a bit of a crazy mood. i am all over the place. I think i need some relaxation techniques. Breathe katti breathe.
I just need to take each day as it comes, and everyday without AF is a good sign, faint lines are good signs and my gut feeling that i am pregnant is a good sign. if you ask my hubby, my shortness of patience, snappy attitude and then immidiate appology is a good sign.
Maybe i need to concentrate on something else for a while.... good luck with that i tell myself.
Thankyou to everyone who is anxiously waiting with me, i know you are all feeling my frustration too.
A line is a line no matter how faint it is. With Harry, I didn't get a true positive until about 1 week after AF was due. You are right, you may have o'd later in your cycle. Did the Dr test with FMU or during the day? You never know, it could be because your urnie was diluted that you didn't get a strong line. The other thing is that remember AF isn't here and that is the best sign.
I can imagine how frustatred you must be and that waiting for the BT is going to seem like it is taking forever, but I am certain honey that tomorrow we will be celebrating another BFP.
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