Hi ladies - just thought I'd pop in and see how your all doing (and that I'm bored and have nothing to do :P)
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Hi ladies - just thought I'd pop in and see how your all doing (and that I'm bored and have nothing to do :P)
Hey Liz Jessie- iam at work and bored too!!!!
Did you check out my story in the loss thread? Too crazy?
OK so now Im worried... my OB said to take a baby asprin everyday ttc... plus the lovenox. I know the lovenox is needed b/c of everything that happened when we lost Eli. But I am SO gonna call my doc tomorrow and ask her exactly why baby asprin is suggested for me if it can cause early m/c.
( i think after everything that happened this summer, I am in this floating down the river and blindly trusting my new doc because she saved my life kind of mindset... lazy on my part)
Starbright - I am so sorry for your loss. I know its discouraging and a kind of weird feeling knowing you lost a little one so very early on. I am sending hugs from thousands of miles away.
Y'all are working huh? Its 1 AM here and I just can't sleep. My chart is freaking me out... its almost identical to the one we conceived Eli on... and I am so temped to change some temps around ... that makes me crazy doesn't it?
Have a great day gals!
CeCe
Starbright - Just answering it now actually ;)
CecE- It may depend on what is going on for you... i know that Rowie(i think) had the opposite to me- she wasnt on aspirin- got close like me, then when she started taking the aspirin she fell right away. Go figure!!
She felt the same as i do now- dont want to mess up what you have been told by your dr. it may be that even while taking your baby aspirin that you still clot enough, and that is why you need the other stuff too. I dontknow- i just know that what works for one doesn't always work for another!!
I was told NOT to take the aspirin until i was pregnant by the specialist- then a general dr. scared me by saying i could get a clot anywhere and basically die- so i should take it all the time. But obviously for me- not while trying to get pregnant. Plus after my last BT my levels for AcA had gone down- so i may not need to take it all (i will anyway once i am pregnant)
Still speak to your dr and tell her what happened to me and see what she says
Off for the day now ladies!!
Thank you all for being here for my first official full week back at work. I would have been sad and lost without you all there!!
Back to my normal few days a week next week- so i will be back to my quiet self!!!!HAHAHAHALOL
Love to you all!!
Katti
xoxox
Just thought I'd pop in on my way out & say no sign of AF yet!
I'll be back later to do some personals!
Thinking of you Jo :hug: I hope that you get your magical BFP very very soon. When are you going to test? I would have already done 10 by now!! :p
Just tested, bfn :(
I'm sorry Jo - I hope it is just too early. When is AF due?
~ Happy 1st Birthday Harrison - I hope you enjoy your special day in heaven ~
Spring, DH & Oliver,
My heart goes out to you today, I wish I could say something to make it hurt a little less but thats impossible. Just know that your little man is with you, whatever you may do today. He is and always will be watching over his family and sending hugs and kisses from above.
Love Mel, DH & Nicholas :hug:
(P.S. I was going to post this in messages for other member but because of how this website is set up now I find it nearly impossible to find anything).
AF was due 2 days ago.
Well anything is possible until the wicked witch arrives - I still have everything crossed for you :pray:
Hi girls,
Kat - Im sorry you havent been feeling the best, and I really hope the infection clears up. You know I believe in "the plan" though so :crossfingers:
Klee - How you feeling? Still a bit blah? How long is your Mum gone for?
Lynn - Thanks for chat, really helped :)
Jo - Sorry about BFN, but dont give up til the witch sings :hug:
CeCe - I like your way of thinking about Eli, and only failing him if you dont get through this. I so wish I could think that way, its much more positive. Maybe your chart is an omen - a good one!
SJ - Dont feel that you dont belong, you are so welcome here and I dont think anyone would want you to leave us. Everyone has different experiences, but it doesnt make any one person more or less important than another iykwim.
Ellie - How you feeling? Everything looking hopeful for a cycle before Xmas?
Hi to everyone else, I apologise if I have missed anyone - I should know better than to disappear for a few days, its too hard to catch up.
Sorry I havent been around, I have been really busy but also maybe not in the most positive frame of mind and have been wallowing a little, but...
...I am extremely positive at the moment - we have actually had a week where a few things seem to be working out. I got some work with a surgeon in the place I worked back in March, 1 day a week and will be working at home 4 days a week (just perfect :dance:). We finally managed to trade in our car we have been trying to get rid of for a year and bought a new one - we picked it up yesterday afternoon and we love it. Its a 2005 VZ Commodore station wagon, really good condition, and its getting a 3rd row put in in a couple of weeks which means when we have a baby we dont have to stress about how we will transport them all YAY!
But the best bit is I had an app at Melb IVF yesterday and they said everything looks perfect, although the follicles need to grow just a little more so I have a couple more days of FSH injections but I can handle that, and they have schedule an egg pick-up for next Wednesday and then embryo transfer for Friday :confetti: Then I will have the hardest TWW in my entire life! But if I get a bfp out it, every single thing we have gone through will be worth every second of it.
Anyway, I have gone on enough now so I will shut up ;)
Is it possible you O'd later than you thought? 2 days late is encouraging? Maybe give it til Monday and if still no AF get dr to do BT.
jo - what kind of test did you use? maybe wait a few more days before testing again, everything is crossed for you.
mel - wow thats fantastic, such good news on all fronts. just think you are now a step closer, how exciting. its all about the plan.
me - am feeling crappy today, have a pain in my back which continues around to the front, so its getting me a little down, although it is getting me out of housework so thats got to be good, lol. also a hell of a lot of cm, so not sure what thats about. and feeling sickly but i guess thats got to be good. mums only away for the week, but she's bringing back my sister and nieces so am looking forward to that. i'll text you later.
hiya lynn - so good to see you, i keep forgetting that i can actually post in the other thread, i guess i just feel so comfortable in here, that and maybe psychologically i am waiting to get over that first 12 week hurdle before i get settled in there.
hi to everyone
Jo- keep your chin up hun and maybe test in two days? Im thinking good thoughts for ya.
Mel- how exciting for YOU!!! I never thought the words good folicles would be so wonderful!
klee - I had those wave like cramps with abby for weeks and weeks... used to freak me right out.. now I just chalk it up to her being my spirited child.
Sj our stories are very similar. I have most of it written down in my blog... I just moved blogs over b/c I was getting hateful responces... but its up again and in my sig. I hope you stick around for a long time... long after you have a bfp
Blessings,
cece
Mel - :confetti: It is all happening..............and you are one step closer, and every step counts. I know it is hard but keep remaining positive next week and you will get that magical BFP that you so totally deserve :hug: When I got your text I just couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I am just so happy for you :hugs: The TTC after loss is such a hard journey but adding the assisted conception only makes it harder.......so many emotions! You have come so far already - the initial shock of realising that you need help, you have overcome that and to be honest I don't look back and see how we conceived. All I see is that I am one step closer to my dream and it doesn't matter how it comes. And just remember they pick out the best egg and sperm so your baby is going to absolutely beautiful!!!!! Hang in there babe, the next 3 weeks are going to be sooooooooooooooooo long (have to be honest) especially the 2ww but remember I am here and if you ever need a chat or a pick-me-up I am here for you :hug:
I tell ya what, you ladies are the most beautiful bunch of women. Your messages to make me stay are just beautiful, I think you all from the bottom on my heart. I just can't believe what an impact you have all made on my life. I believe you were all handed these hurdles in life because you are all women that are so strong and amazing. All of your words were so inspiring to me and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I would love to stay and keep chatting, thank you to each and every one of you.
Cece I don't have time to read your blog right now, but I promise I will, you have me intrigued.
Jo - I soo hope your bfn turns into a bfp for you. Best of luck honey.
We had a big day in Emerald an hour away! What an effort to go shopping with a toddler....
Well I took Lachlan to the doctor yesterday as he had high temps for 3 nights and 2 days. My hunch all along was teeth, but didn't think temps lasted that long with teeth, so I was best too check it out and yep he is all good! Just god dam teeth. But he hasn't had a temp in 24 hours now YIPPEE......
I even went to bed at 9.30pm last night, unheard of for me and slept till 8am this morning and could have stayed in bed too! And............................................... .................................................. .................................................. .... Lachlan slept thru, YAY!!!!!!!!!! Now that is probably the 5th time in 4mths that he has slept thru, so that is something to shout about!
We start swimming lessons next week again, can't wait to see if Lachlan loves the water as he did when we first arrived here in Feb07. I really don't think he will remember, but still loves his bath, so I am guessing it will be all good!
Also everyone around the town has been saying they can't believe how hot it is and it is not even summer........ Geez think we are in for a ripper! It is a hot place here as it is, great!!!
Well I am going to bed early again, yep you heard me..... I am such a night owl but am taking the opportunity to have sum early nights for a change, I am exhausted.
Love to all my gorgeous friends.
Hey all, just a quick one to let you all know AF has arrived :( I'm not in a real good headspace at the moment.
Ohhh I am so sorry Jo, you poor thing. Big hugs and kisses coming your way.
jo-- don't have any good words for you and I don't think anything I say would help. But I wanted you to know I care about you and I am sorry.
CeCe
hey Jo (((HUGS))) for AF. Day 1 here too but in my case I was expecting it.
Has anyone had trouble TTC then had a lap and tubes flushed and been able to get pg after? I am just looking for some sort of hope here.
I've had my cry for the day .. just feel so alone with it all and no-one I can really talk to. Nobody I know understands the feeling of loss not only for a baby but also the loss of fertility .. I just feel like I am facing the end of our TTC road and nobody understands the worry I am going thru, the fear and well.. just hard to explain. Maybe I am holding out for a miracle of news on Thursday from the lap.. maybe I am also building up so I am not to hard hit when I get the bad news.. I just dunno anything anymore.
Does this ever get any easier?
Sorry for the me posts lately.. just not in a good space lately.
Thinking of you all though and hoping to see some BFPs over ehre.
Jude
Jo babe I am so sorry :hug: I don't blame you for not being in a good headspace right now. Take all the time you need but remember I am here if you need to chat :hug:
Judy - I am sorry that AF arrived :hugs:
Hi Everyone
Still lurking...been feeling really down and hormonal...so have been a bit quite. I should be jumping out of my skin because the mole thing is all sorted. The dr has recommended that we should seriously think about making this our last IVF attempt as the affects the drugs are having on my body are getting a bit scarey. Anyway...had a visit from the little girls across the road yesterday...5yrs, 9yrs and 13 yrs...and they were chatting away about the kids they are going to have when they grow up...how many girls or boyts...the order they'll have them in...the best age differences and their names!!! I found myself sitting there with a huge lump in my throat praying that there dreams will come true and they never know the pain of loss...I have been so affected by their conversation I couldn't even go to our other neighbours little boys 2nd birthday today. The thought of seeind little kids and haapy families seemed too much...DH and I have been fighting all day and have only just 'made up'...I'm sure we are having a delayed response to everything that's hapened over the past months...somedays are just hard hey? Tomorrow will be ok...but where is AF...CD 40 tomorrow????? Sorry for the vent?
Hope everyone has an uplifting week filled with great news xxx
Ellie :hug: I am so sorry for your hard day hun. It is hard facing lost dreams and seeing babies and young children.
Klee I can truly understand you waiting til 12 weeks. I think all of us do. We can't live through what we have without some fear and trepidation. :hug:
Sheree I thought you were up north QLD way? Emerald is in Vic? I hope Lachlan continues to be ok.
Jo hugs for you and I hope AF is not treating you too harshly. I am about to head to town and hoping we are back before I make a mess as this AF is a bad one :(
looks like I have to go
bye til later
Jude
tested today... 11 dpo. But ff says I am triphasic. liar liar! can someone seriously kick me? I am out for this cycle aren't I? I did get a really impressive pink evap line on a dollar tree test. But it was WAY after 10 minutes. I am making myself nuts. someone kick me.
i wish I had the self control to stop the self torture.
I think next cycle we will use the preseed and do the smep plan again. woo hoo.
To make matters worse, I saw our old OB at the store and he tried to hug me. I mean what would make him think that after everything he caused, a hug would make me happy?
wow, I am in an ugly place. sorry ladies.
CeCe
jo hon so sorry to hear, would expect nothing less then you being upset. i don't know what to say as i don't think anything could help, i am here for you if you need to chat, huge cyber hugs hun.
judy - so sorry af came too, even though you were expecting it can't be easy either. i don't know much about fertility issues so sorry i can't help. mel might be able to help? i guess the lap can only help though, hopefully by giving you an answer,
sheree - so glad to hear you are going to stay.
ellie - so good to see you back, sorry to hear the stories of your neighbours and their innocence, there was probably a time where we were the same you know, how difficult it must have been for you. i hope your knee is recovering well and that your doing ok. cd40, and still no sign of af, any tests?
sb - hon sorry i didn't reply on sat i wasn't overly chatty, but what you said totally made sense.
i'm sorry for my little burst on saturday, i didn't think before i posted, my head has been a little all over the place, i realise this is a late loss/recurrent loss forum, i meant the 12 week thing in that this time if we get passed the 12 weeks i have a feeling everything will be ok, sorry if that hurt anyone, my apologies again. anyway i am going to try not to whinge just a little stressed. hugs to everyone
cece - just to give you hope, i tested until 12dpo with bfns, had 13dpo off testing and got the faintest of lines on 14 dpo. hope that gives you a little bit of hope
klee-- thanks. I have been a little short on hope for a while. I will gladly borrow some. I think trying to set your sights on 12 weeks is super healthy... but be warned that you will be hounded on 12 weeks 1 day by me... reminding you to celebrate. You're in Aus like everyone else right? I may have to make a baby blanket and ship it.
Judy- everyone... including my best friend's sister who had previouly lost a tube and had ablasion... who I know who had a lap got a bfp soon after. So, I guess thats 11 women. I will tuck in some prayers for you.
Ellie- when I was in high school I was super dork-tastic and just knew I would have 8 kids: john. paul, george. ringo. parsely, sage, rosemary, and thyme. Yeah, laugh away... and no I didn't date much. My awkward stage was from about 9yo till well after college.
I feel like a whining idiot moaning on about bfn's when its only been four months since we lost Eli and many of you guys have been ttc for much much longer. I think today is just one of my wet t-shirt contest days... thats what I tell mom when I am having a crying fit and she gets too worried about me. I guess its my way of making her smile. I miss my mom so much... but I love the lady I take care of too. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me. My mom used to be this strong loud wonderful southern woman who would put me in her lap... even at my age... and put things in perspective for me. After she had her stroke at 49, she became a confused and often scared little girl. Here I go again acting a fool. I am sorry ladies, you shouldn't have to listen to this dribble with all of your experiences.
There is this song that comes on the contemprary Christian station here that I had heard like a million times before we lost Eli... with a 12 yo, a 2yo, a grandma and hubby I never once heard the words until the night I came home from my second stint in the hossy. Don't let the Christian undertones scare ya off... but the song and video is really good and helps me when I am digging myself into a hole of yucky. Be prepared to have a wet face (or shirt and bra like me)
YouTube - Held by Natalie Grant
Hugs to you all.
Jude - well there is an Emerald in North Qld too, only we are more westerly, out the bush in the sticks, and the closest town of reasonable size is Mackay 3 hours North and Rockhampton 3 hours south. Gosh I feel for you Jude, you have been through so much, your determination is amazing though. Be strong, you have come this far.
Klee - you don't need to apologise I am sure everyone knew what you meant. For me, I am the same this next pregnancy I can't feel positive about, I am just going to take each day as it comes and each day as a blessing. I know that sounds horrible that I won't let myself be positive, just that I was very confident with the last pregnancy and look where that got me. I think seeing as I had no bleeding at all this time that I knew people would come down on me if I was anything but positive. Now I actually think people will understand........ Does that make sense.
Cece - Ohh honey you are not whinging, you are like the rest of us really. Hope that BFN turns into a BFP for you in the up and coming days.
Eliie - gosh that would have been terrible for you, your next door neighbours kids. Gawd why are they thinking along those lines already, can't kids just be kids. I understand that that would have upset you, I don't blame you there. The resentment we all feel towards others is terrible huh, I hate feeling like this every single day. Hope you feel better soon honey.
Jo - hope you are feeling better today honey.
Starbright - where are you? You doing ok?
Lynn - how are you?
Mel - gl with the treatment honey. I am so happy for you and glad you are feeling so positive atm, puts you in a good frame of mind for that eggy huh.
Not sure who else, sorry if I missed anyone.
Lachlan is back at daycare today, they close over the school holidays. It is only from 9am to 1pm but I guess it is better then nothing, and I can finally get a bit caught up with my paperwork for the newsagency.
Cheerio all.
Hi everyone! Feeling human again today...
CeCe - You have every right to be disappointed and to vent. We can't compare journey's around here...we have all been to hell and back which is why it's so wonderful we have each other to vent with.
Klee - I totally hear you about the 12 week mark...DH and I were only talking about this last night...if we're lucky enough to get pregnant again we won't be telling anyone nor do I think we'll get 'excited' until we have our little miracle in our arms. Hang in there hunxxx
Judy - My first pregnancy was after a lap to have my tubes cleared...and to us that was an absolute miracle after trying for years. Unforunately it was an ectopic but my FS told me that lots of girls get pregnant after a lap...good luck!
Lynn - How's everything going? Hope you're well!
Jo - So sorry AF arrived. Have everything crossed for your BFP this month.
Sheree - Hope you're getting everything done with Lachlan at daycare. Isn't funny how we try to fit three days worth of 'stuff' just because we feel we should...maybe a coffee and a good girlie mag today!
Mel - Hey hun...how's the IVF journey treating you? Feeling a bit yuk by now no doubt? Have been keeping an eye on you...good luck xxx
A big HI to anyone that I've missed...sorry?
I'm taking it easy today...wishing I had a crystal ball and just knew if I'm ever going to have a baby...the mole thing all worked out ok but it was a growth that is a side effect of years of fertility drugs...dr thinks we should do one more and then give my body a rest. The reality check that there is an end to the LTTTC road has been a bit of a slap in the face...I'll be right in a day or too...just in a really deep reflective place :)
:hugs:Jo- I am so sorry to hear that AF arrived. I was sure this was going to be your month. Hang in there love. We can both try hard this month! At least with AF being late- this means you may have gotten close- a little inspiration for this month. Big HUgs!!
Work is back to normal- so its just a quick one from me...
Antibiotics seem to be working- i slept all weekend!!! Literally!! So infection seems to be going away, and all would be well to try really hard except- you will never guess it- (WARNING TMI>>>) DH and i were "getting into it" on Sat night for the first time in a while- and we managed to hurt me a little bit!!!!! I wont go into major details, but as he was heading "in" we got a bit cought up and i have a little tear!!! :( i think he was more upset than me!! Unfortunately his little swimmers had to stay "unswum" and he aint getting back in for at least a few more days!!!!! )
So our big plans have been down graded- and i wont be starting to try quite as early as i planned!!! At least i am already on anitiotics and it doesn't look too bad- but its a little bit sore when i pee.
Love to all be back later!!!
xoxox
starbright-- a little tearing can burn like the ****ens... but if you soak in a warm tub with a half box of baking soda it will feel SO much better. Been there done that.. wasnt cute or fun. Epsom sals are supposed to work better than the soda but it always leaves a funly film on me and I can't stand it. But as I am sure you know, I am weird.
CeCe
howdy everyone.
CeCe- so glad you will be able to move back HOME to texas. i'm sorry your mom isn't the same for you now. it is so painful when there is a daily reminder of who we are missing and how. my grandmother had alziemers (sp) for 14 years, and for the last 12 her body was really just a reminder of who she wasn't anymore. but she still needed love and care. not the same as your situation, i know, but i feel for you.
Starbright- damn, i've been hoping your health would be peak this month. i am glad you got some answers, and are getting the infection cleared up. please don't blame yourself for that damn aspirin- you did what you thought was best and that is always right.
Klee- keep track of that cm. i just read something about how more is to be expected, but it shouldn't be mucusy nor lots of water.
Mel- yipee- sounds so positive. my fingers are crossed along with everything else.
Jo- damn it damn it damn it. big hugs to you.
Judy- fertility cuts so painfully, i am sending you big hugs.
Ellie- so sorry for the long, painful road you are on. i wish i had something magic to say or do, but i can only offer you my tears and some hugs.
so sorry i was away for so long. five day migraine that wore me down. plus a load of terror over nothing and everything. it was good to read your all discussion about our angels and how we have such a burden of feelings of failure. i too wonder why i didn't know Yeti was gone, why i couldn't help him. CeCe is right, the most positive thing to do is to try to make that loss mean something by being better. some days i think i might be. and then some days it is just to much to play nice. big hugs all round.
Thanks for the advice CeCE!! I will try it tonight!! Not too bad today!! We officially started trying this morning!! Not quite as adventurously as the other day- but we gave it a shot!! Slow and steady wins the race right?! i hope so!!
How important is it to not eat or drink for the 4 hours before taking my opk? Thats what the instructions say- but its a bit hard. I am supposed to do it in the middle of the day- or afternoon but not eat or drink for four hours before hand.... i am finding that bit hard- i am a major snacker- i never go 4 hours without eating.
Just wndering how you other ladies went- or if they still worked when you had been eating. I did one yesterday afternoon and got a faint line (OPK) so i will try again this arvo.
AUNTIE M>> i had a dream about you the other night... is your first name Maye? It was in my dream- you were sitting on a front porch on a rocking chair with a blanket over you rocking a little bubba in your arms and you looked up at me and smiled. Dont know if it was a boy or a girl- but it was yours and you were so peacefull.
i see you are getting very close to your 12 week mark.... a little jump from me!! When is your first scan? I hope your migranine gets better- your fears probably wont for a while to come... we are here for you if you start to feel scared.
As far as my health getting batter- you will start to see that nothing in my life is easy- just when everything seems to be on track (i got all my opk's, full of motivation) something will happen to throw me a curve ball... i am getting used to it now, i half expect stuff to go wrong now and i am getting good at adjusting!!
JUDY>>> Sorry to hear that AF is here in full flow- just adds insult to the injury doesn't it? i hope that it goes away soon and leaves you ready to try again. :)
ELLIE>>> Hello, good to hear you are feeling normal again!! i am so sorry that about what your dr has said... i know with all of my trying i am waiting for them to say- ok enough is enough, but i am waiting for that day before i stop trying. (i seem to be able to GET preg- just not hold on to them) but it is a fear that i have- that i will be told to stop trying. I am not sure how i would deal with that. Plus like the way the drugs are taking their toll on your body- trying and failing is taking its toll on mine. DH is contsantly worried i will heomorage again and possibly die. (yeah, bright happy thought) And so even while we are happy to be trying- we know there are risks we are taking to make our dream come true. Some days i struggle with thinking "Am i doing the right thing?" and i know i am. And i know you are too. I am praying that if you get one last shot- that it is the one you have been waiting for, you have stuggled for so long and you deserve this!! I am crossing everything for you!!
JO>> How are you today? I hope Af is being kind to you. Tell her i said this better be the last time she shows her face for a long time or else!! Big hugs!! When do you leave for your holiday? Hope the kids are enjoying their school holidays and not making too much mess!!
SHEREEJOY>>>Hello, i am here!! I only have access to the net at work- so i disapear on the weekend- and i only get the chance to flitter in and out (came in early this morning to catch up) coz i should be working!! I am doing ok- a bit sore.... but nothing will stop me trying this month!!!!
MEL>>> Hey there lurky- goodluck this week!!
KLEE>>> i will continue to hound you via text!!
Have a good day all!!
LOve SB
Mel - thinking of you babe :hug:
Jo - how are you? I have been thinking of you and I hope that wicked witch is being kind to you :hugs:
SB - I hope the infection clears up soon and there is less pain down there. Take care babe.
Ellie - wouldn't a crystal ball be wonderful.............and what about fast forwarding time! I hope you have some time to think about what you want to do and whatever that is I hope you can get there :hug:
Sheree - I think we all have the same fears and anxieties about a subsequent pg. It is so hard to be positive but like you said, just take one day at a time - that is what I do. I hope you are taking those steps very very soon.
Cece - that song is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing. I find so much comfort in songs and poems and am forever searching the net looking for them.
Judy - how are you going? My heart and tears go out to you - infertility is so so cruel.
Hi to anyone I have missed and sending all you special girls heaps and heaps of :bluedust: Thanks to everyone who asked how I'm going. This week is a good week so I am trying to keep it that way. I have a scan today which is such a relief seeing bubs there bouncing around...............just trying to stay positive and thank bubs every day for sticking around.
SB - we posted at the same time. Go and get busy girl!!!!! :bd: I have everything crossed for you that this is your month :pray:
Hi there lovely ladies. It's time for a new thread.