TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after the 1st trimester ~ OCT 07

gks--stiff drink eh? well, its 9:30 PM here so I say go for it!

klee-- thanks for the positive thoughts... I might need them next cycle too.

hugs to everyone!
CeCe

Hi ladies
Please let me know if I am crashing or if I should be somewhere else but I was told about this site by someone at a support group meeting on Tuesday night and I think it may have been Klee?
I am TTC again following 3 m/c's and the loss of my son Ethan at 22wks in June 07 (severe spina bifida & hydrocephalus). We have done 4 rounds of IVF with ICSI and had one pg from that (ended in m/c) and 3 natural pg's. Unfortunatley no live babies though! We are trying naturally til end of the year then back onto IVF. We have 9 frozen embies but I am 36 in March and dont think they are very good quality as we have used 8 with no success!Im also struggling with the loss of Ethan and my emotions are totally out of wack!!

As I said, if I am crashing or should be somewhere else please let me know as Im new to this.

Naomi

naomi, hi welcome, yes it was me, you are at the right place, i don't know if i got to say it the other night but i am so sorry for your losses and for that of Ethan, you have been through so much, but still come accross very strong. the ladies in here are wonderful, there are some that have been trhough multiple m/c, 2nd trimester losses, late terminations for various health issues and stillbirth, even though we're all different, we are here to support each other, and I hope we can do the same for you. the lady i mentioned to you was starbright/kat, she hasn't been on for a few days, but kat when you get a chance, i thought you might be able to communicate with naomi about your experiences.
georgie - to answer your question, its yes, its still very early days, b/w 7 to 8w, but who else would i tell but the ladies on here that have got me through some of my darkest days. its never too early for a stiff drink either!
cece - you have been so positive for me, so i'm sending all the postivie vibes i can muster back to you, its not over until the fat af lady sings remember
jo - thinking of you today, happy 9 months beautiful storm, thinking of you and your family, hope you are doing ok

Thanks girls for all of your messages, your support is fantastic :)

Again I apologise for lack of personals today, still feeling pretty sore and sorry for myself. To walk I have to walk really slow cause it hurts, what a wuss am I?

Although I did see your post Naomi, I met you the other night as well. I was the girl doing and OPU the next day (we got 22 eggs YAY, not sure about fertilised numbers yet though). You are not crashing and honestly you will not find any better support than with the girls here, they are just wonderful. I am so sorry about all of your losses and for your gorgeous boy Ethan, as Klee said you have gone through so much and if you need anything we are all here for you :hug:

And finally, Georgie its great to see you again. I will PM with my email, I have thought of you lots and posted a couple of times asking where you were but when you didnt reply I thought you had gone. So glad to see you back, congrats to your brother and I hope everything works out for them. Will email you when I am feeling a little better.

Hi to everyone else, again sorry for being a snob.

Love Mel (aka Chicken ;) )

Hi ladies!!!

There are a few new names in here, see what happens when you dont get internet at home!!?? I am lost!!! LOL
Welcome (or welcome back- but you were gone before i got here...)so Welcome from me to Georgi and Naomi!!!!:hello:

Good news- shopping for lap top on mONDAY!!!! YAY!!!! Then i'll be waiting for connections and stuff- so i will still be a bit longer till i have full access, but i am working on it!!!! Untill then i just have to squeeze as much in as possible in a short amount of time!!!

AUNTIE M- i am glad you popped into the other thread- i was going to tell you about it, and for anyone else- there is a thread regarding a "spiritual look at loss" if anyone is interested, there have been some wonderful stories to ponder over....
And i soooooooo glad to hear peanut is alive and well. Its time for some green men!!!!!:happyforyou:
What a heartbreaking first few moments though!!! So happy to hear all is going as it should be!! Keep up the good work!! I will continue to tell you anything that comes to mind for you!! i have been thinking of you alot and i cant wait till we can be preggo together!!

MEL>> Hip HIp HOOORRRAAAYYYY For you and DH!! Just think- your baby is being made as we speak!!!! That is pretty damn cool! Can you freeze any fertilized ones so you dont have to go through extraction again??? Like for future brothers and sisters kind of thing??? i rekon that would be cool too- they would be like twins, but not. Weird!!! Take it easy chooky!! xox

KLEE>>> hey mate!!! I miss you!! I miss being alone in the office all week with you for company!! Bugger work!! Not to worry, plenty of time when i get my laptop. i will have a web cam- that will be cool!!!

Doh, speaking of work i have to go downstairs and releave someone for lunch....

Naomi- KLEE wanted me to share my story with you- its a long one, so if you have time- check out my TTC journal(StarBright), it tells pretty much everything, and yes we have similar stories. You can pm anytime, i just only have limited access so it may be a while before i have time to catch up.. sorry.

I will be back later if i get the chance!!
ooohhh, one more thing... i got 3 little chickens yesterday!!! Mummy is doing good and taking good care of her chicks. I will count all my animals again and give a new total later!!

LOVE TO ALL
StarBright
xoxoxox

Thanks Everyone
StarBright - Thank you for your welcome, I have read your journal and I feel like I am reading my own story! I hope one day I can share more of my journey with you all too. Bit raw at the moment though!!

Mel1977 - I thought it might be you! Congrartulations on your fantastic egg count! No wonder you are sore - I got lots of eggs on my last pick up and I couldnt walk for days either! Be careful you dont hyper-stim and look after yourself. My only suggestion (forward arent I??) is that after you have your transfer tomorrow you go home and rest - try laying down with your legs up and think nice positive "sticky" thoughts! And remember, with all those eggs which WILL fertilise into healthy little embies, you could end up with a whole footy team and never have to give yourself injections again!

Klee - A lot of people tell me how strong i seem but I guarantee that its all a front! I cried the whole way home on Tues night and then all day Wednesday as well. I understand now that you have good news - congratulations!! I'm glad I sat next to you, maybe your fertile vibes will rub off on me?

Just to update you and Mel - I called my sister on the way home and used Mels words of "I will definitely be at the Church for the christening but I'm not sure how I will cope for the rest of the day so I will play it by ear because I dont want to ruin the girls day by being upset". Her response - "I dont understand why you would be upset - you'll know everyone there." I hung up on her and the next day she sent me a text saying "I guess I understand why you might be upset so do whatever you need to do". I just can't win!!

Naomi

Hi again -
Thanks Starbright for the hello & Naomi I'm so sorry to hear of your losses... I've forgotten how to do the icons or I'd give you both a hug hello.
Naomi you are sure in the right place - it's incredible how BB can actually feel like the only place you can vent some of the mountains of sadness we are all trying to push through. Even in the darkest days it's somewhere you don't have to feel alone anymore.
Now all you Melbourne girls - where do you all meet? I'd love to catch up sometime...
Yeah for Klee....he he he...i think you may have started a big Melbourne pregnancy roll !!!BRING IT ON.
Gotta be honest I felt so emotional that you all remembered me - thank you - it's made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
How's Jo - I haven't heard how she's going.?
Mel - this is SUCH exciting progress. Sorry I dropped out for a while - problem was I wasn't really getting better emotionally and i felt a little selfish for always going on when you girls have been forced to live through so much more. I thought it was time for me to shut up basically. I cancelled the appointment with you OB - something I really regret now - because the TTC was messing with my mind. You were also right about Maybe Baby - either I'm not doing it right or I'm ferned up the whole time!
You'll see from the signature that I've had a birthday and the tick, tick, ticking is getting louder and louder in my head - Anth (DH) hasn't had his birthday yet so I feel like an old bag until his birthday comes.
Just wondering whether I should be considering IVF - I read somewhere recently that between 35 -40 I have only 15% chance of getting pregnant with every cycle. Does that sound right? If so I'm getting worried . Anyone heard anything along those lines -
George

Naomi - Your sister is just hopeless - some people will just never get it and as much as we want them to and try to make them, we just do our own heads in :doh: Well I am proud of you for saying what you did, she can do with that what she will but you have done the right thing and been honest. And you stick to your guns, as we were saying the other night it doesnt matter what others think, they go home to their happy lives and you are the one picking up the pieces... and I definitely plan to, I just posted in my IVF thread that I am gonna milk it - DH is running me a bath :D

Auntie M - Congrats on scan, sorry I didnt say that earlier, but its just wonderful. Hopefully it can make your next few days a little easier.

CeCe - Well done for letting your friend have it, couldnt have said it better myself. And hey, if she doesnt call you again because her nose is so far out of joint I guess she wasnt a friend worth having in the first place.

SB - Congrats on your chicks, and your kittens... I would love to have a kitten around, cat allergies kind of prevent it though :( Have fun laptop shopping, how fun!

Klee - How is your day going? I am over my little tanty now if you didnt notice LOL ;)

Well going in for transfer tomorrow at 11am. Then coming home to sit on the couch with my feet up, as Naomi suggested (you know I am gonna tell DH to blame you :p), for oh well about the next 7 or 8 months... hopefully :pray:

Starbright - how do you view a journal? Help...i'm pretty slow with the forum tricks -George

Hey Georgie, sorry posted at same time - I am not sure about percentages, but I know that the more time you are unable to get pregnant it lowers you chances of conceiving naturally. But I think the percentages for IVF heavily depends on the reasons, if any, for infertility. It might be worth getting an opinion from a fertility specialist. Dont worry about cancelling with OB, if you still want to see him you can always make another time - I am sure he wont hold a grudge, he is too nice. And I have said it to you before, but you shouldnt feel like you cant visit us and talk about your own issues because we all have different experiences, everyone has their own journey and each are entitled to just as much support as the others. And in terms of not feeling better... does that day ever come? I have been waiting more than a year now, and some days I think maybe it is but then I come crashing down and realise oh yeah this still sucks big time, and always will.

Take care mate, stay in touch :hug:

Hi everyone...
Mel you are so adorable...now it's you that I'm sending every wonderful vibe to...good, good good luck tomorrow. I wont have you out of my mind!
Go gettem Mel...love George

Georgie
From someone that's been on this road for a while...I'd recommend seeing an FS...there are alot of treatments available which are less intrusive that IVF that could be helpful too...depends on what the problems are....you may not need IVF to get the BFP but if that's what the FS recommend then go for it!!! Time is our greatest enemy...good luck xxx

Jo - thinking of you today on Storm's 9th month birthday :hug: Sending you heaps and heaps of hugs and I hope you got through today ok :hugs:

Happy birthday Storm - Hugs to you Jo & family :hug:

Just a quick one....................

Mel - I will be thinking of you tomorrow :hug: Just take it easy and let those little ones do their thing. I have everything crossed for you for a positive outcome at the end of the 2ww. I hope the next 2 weeks fly by for you and if you need anything at all you know where I am. Big big big :hug: Enjoy siting on the lounge tomorrow! I was so scared to walk around in case anything fell out!!! :rolleyes: Which I know is not possible...............but you know me - crazy woman!!!

Georgie - welcome back! Good luck with whatever road you decide to take and yes you right..........coming here never makes you feel alone :hug:

Naomi - welcome :hugs: I'm sorry that you have to be here but you have come to a great place for wonderful friends and support. I hope your TTC journey is short and sweet! I'm sorry about your sisters comments - it is so hard when our families don't understand.

Cece - good on you for being strong and standing up for your feelings. Some people can be so insensitive can't they. I hope you are wrong and that the wicked witch doesn't visit you.

SB - yay on your chickens!!!

Hi Ellie, Klee Auntie M and anyone I have missed :hug:

howdy everyone.
CeCe- :) i did have a hot fudge sundae . . . gotta make amends to those frazzled nerves. RIGHT ON about telling your "friend" what for. i laughed out loud at your triumph. sometimes being honest like that makes good folk feel bad, but don't you feel bad at all. you've taken so much from her and she needed to be told to POUND SAND to stop her from hurting you. thumbs up, girl.
Klee- yeah, the stress just builds up and there ain't much to be done about it. but the hot fudge and ice cream did take the edge off . . . :) big hugs to you in advance.
Georgie- i hated that phrase "just forget about it and it will happen" as if that is going to happen. and not to mention the extra pressure that puts on one to be less stressed. i felt like popping folks in the eye for that one before Yeti finally came along. just keep doing what you can to make it through. i've heard the 15% chance too, and those numbers are scary. Mel is right, do anything that makes sense in your case.
Naomi- i'm so sorry for your losses and for Ethan. i'm so sorry you have to fit in here, but glad you have found us. welcome.
Jo- happy 9 months to storm & big, big hugs to you.
Starbright- thanks for the little green men. it always feels good to share news here b/c you all know what the fear is like. outside folks just roll their eyes at me like i should buck up. i can't wait for us to be preg together too - i keep you in my thoughts and hopes.
Mel- a sense of humor makes everything better -even not being able to walk right. :)
Howdy to Lynn and Ellie, hopefully i haven't missed anyone? big hugs all round.

Dear Georgie
I agree with Ellie about seeing FS. I will be 36 in March so I understand about the "tick, tick"! I have been seeing FS for 3 years and they keep telling me I am young (in fertility terms) until I turn 37 and then the stats drop quite a bit. In saying that, I know HEAPS of women who have acheived PG through IVF and other treatments right up to 42 years. Dont give up - but I truly believe that time is precious so if you are ready I would encourage you to see a specialist for some advice and testing. You just need a referral from your GP and I have found its better if you find a FS (from friends, recommendations) and then ask your GP to refer you to that person. Most GPs dont have much of a clue about wo to refer you to! In case you are interested I see Raphael Kuhn at Freemasons - he is FS and also does IVF with Melb IVF.

Naomi

Hey all,

Thanks for the wishes for Storm's 9mth b'day,

Mel - good luck today hun :)

Naomi - welcome

Georgia - welcome back!

Hi to everyone, i'll be back later!