-
Mel - Good luck for your 2WW. I have everything crossed for you!We have decided that we will try the old fashioned way til the end of the year and if we have no success we will give a couple of our "icies" a go! I really want to do PGD but we can only do them on fresh embies so have to use up the frozen ones first!
CeCe - My AF was incredibly "evil" and horrid after I had Ethan. I see an acupuncturist and chinese herbalist so she has been working on reducing this and it seems to be working. I thought I had such heavy losses before but now I understand what other women talk about when they say they have HEAVY bleeds - Poor things!!
Klee - Thanks for being so kind about my blubbering at S&K the other night! I think that becasue I dont have anyone to talk to about how I am feeling that I go into total meltdown when I am allowed to talk about it. I struggle to even say his name most of the time and when I hear other people say his name or even someone else with the same name I am really affected. I admit that I thought you and Mel were so calm telling your story and I thought "I cant wait til I can talk about it like that" but now I realise its just another way of coping and that you probably feel exactly the same.
Naomi
-
mel-- awesome! then I know exactly how to word my wish... yeah I know I am a goof.. BUT in the last years my wishes have come to pass. So why not.
-
hi guys, was just going to pop in and post but just had a message from my sister that my nephew is in the ambulance going to the childrens as he's pulled a hot cup of tea on himself, haven't heard anything else but am going there now. everyone think good thoughts for him.
-
Busy Weekend in here girls!!! I have only scanned throught he posts coz i havent got much time to computer today.....
I have so much to say and so little time!!!
I am still poas every day and so far nothing.... though i did go from faint lines to no line to a faint line that was a tiny bit darker than the faint line before no line...... i think i am over the opks already.. they are a bit disapointing for me!! Still i have always said that i think i ovulate later in the month- so i will keep poas for a few more days and see....
i did two night shofts this week- had one silly person each night. "How is the bub Kat? I havent seen it yet????" Thats coz she isnt here mate!! I actually said to one person go and ask someone else- i havent got time to go into it right now./ 10 minutesd later they came back full of sorry's and i didnt knows. I said they were a bit slow and again- i dont want to talk about it right now thank you. Then every time they would come to the bar he would say sorry again. I nearly punched him by the end of the night- but i kept my cool. The only other sad time is that another girl who works here is due any day now and i had to watch everyone gooing over her. And then they all look at me really sadly and then go back to her a goo. Sometimes i feel like joining in the convo of what it is like to be preg- i can talk to her about it, and then when i try to say things in front of other people they look at me funny. Its like hang on- i was still pregnant, i can still talk about what it was like when i was, just because i dont have my baby doesnt mean i dont remember what it was like.
Sorry i am just blabbing now- but you all understand. I had a big cry when i got home- i think that is the end of bar shifts for me for a while- definatley i wont be in there when the other girl has had her baby- i am not going to be the person who everyone asks about it, and i am not going to be happy about telling everyone IYKWIM. I am going to take soem time off around the 18th- maybe a week either side, so it should all be good!!
Now that i have gotten that out of my system i feel better.... but i have no time for anything else... :( i will be back later to do some personals
LOVE to all!!!
STARBRIGHT
xoxoxxo
-
Sending my thoughts for your nephew Klee, hope he's ok!
well kids are back at school today! the house might stay clean for more than 5 minutes!
-
starbright-- I am so sorry for the insensitive people... if the world was flat and I had the only bulldozer.. I would SO lend it to you! On the OPKs... I do that faint then nothing then faint then nothing thing until the day I get my allllmost positive then the next day (or middle of the night, as I cannot help myself from poas) I get my very positive. I bet, if you are due to ovulate in 4 days, that in 2 or so days you will see some serious dark lines. Keep peeing sweetie, keep peeing!
Klee-- thinking of and praying for your nephew and your sister.
Hugs everyone else!
CeCe
-
Dont forget to light a candle at 7pm tonight October 15th for the wave of light. In rememberance of baby & pregnancy loss.
It has a website but I don't think I can post it on here!
-
thanks ladies, just a quick one again, nephew is ok, has burns to his neck, and chest, he is such an amazingly strong boy for all of 14 months, he was sooo cute, he was all pain killered up and he was doing his little crab dance, wonkily, but that showed me he was ok, he has been sent home and needs to be checked up on in a week.
kat will post to you later, just need to catch up on some work
-
Glad to hear he not to badly hurt!
-
thanks jo, how you going sweetheart?
-
not to bad, not long till we see the f/s, fingers crossed we won't need to though!
-
I'm back!!! I had a good read through the posts and i am all geared up for personals!!!! Sit back and relax.........
Naomi... I feel for you regarding your sister!! I cant beleive that some people still have to stop and think that things might upset you. You would think that they would just be able to understand, but no- they have no idea the effect that things like this have on us. They are too wrapped up in their happiness to think of our saddness still lingering. I have my nephews 1st Birthday coming up, it is 3 weeks before Zahra's 1st Anniversary of her death and i know that if i was to go the whole time i would be thinking about what i wont be doing in 3 weeks time.
And do you think my sister has called me to see how i will be feeling???/??? NOpe- in her eyes it has been nearly a year so it shouldnt matter anymore. I am unsure if i even feel like sending him a present via my mum, i am starting to get a tad bitter.
Plus to top it off- she is pregnant again- due the day Zahra was (Dec 24th), so my sister is exactly at the duration i was this time last year- to the FU#KING day. I havent seen her once since she found out she was pregant- i just cant. She says she didnt plan it (is that supposed to make me feel better hey? You just cant stop having babies- even when you dont want them, and i have been trying for 5 years with no luck, but its ok, coz you didnt plan it :angry:)
And to be perfectly honest- i hope her pregancy keeps being exactly like mine. with the very same outcome. (sorry- way harsh its the first time i have actually admitted to thinking that, i nearly back spaced it away- but im not going to because right now it is how i feel. That is sad, but it is the way it is today- sorry)
When you are up to it- i would like to hear more details of your journey so far. i find typing it is sooo much easier then having to tell it face to face- i can type my feelings for hours!! I still cry- but its just me and the computer (as long as i dont get called to the bar!!!) and i feel better after getting it all out. But i do tend to rave on a bit... haha but it works for me!!!
Georgi.... To find the TTC journals- scroll down to the very bottom of your screen, on the left hand side there is a tool bar for forum jumps. Click on the arrow and scroll down till you get to TTC journals- hit on that and then look thru the journals till you find StarBright, and thats me!:) Nice to have some new/old faces in here. I hope that you find some peace in here and we can have some BFPs soon!!!
JO.....How are you going love? I bet the house is quiet today!! Have you had any more progress with DH's little men? I noticed on lullaby conceptions they have a tester thing for swimmers. It tests morphology and something else. Its one you can do at home- it was about $60-$80 thou and i dont know how many tests that was for- but it might be worth checking out for him. If you google lullaby you will find it. you can order them online and send a postal money order or credit card and they send the stuff out in a few days, its where i got my opks and preg tests from. Has any more "come out" that you have noticed? I really hope that you keep trying, i get so sad when Af comes for you, i am really looking forward to you getting preg. i will be taking some time off in a few weeks- when were you heading near grafton? i might go check out the chicken farm- if i do- lets try to meet up. We can bring our angels pictures, i would really like to. PM me if you want and we can try to work something out!!
CeCe... Darlin i am sooooooo sad to hear Af is in full force. I wish she would just leave you alone !!!!! In answer to your question- AF for me has been THE most painfull and heavy and yucky since loosing Zahra then ever before!!! I would usually get lower back pain- but since Zahra it is all in the belly and its full on and constant and soooooo painful. I am bed ridden for 3 days and very high on pain killers!!!! I have stopped using tampons coz they seem to make it worse- so its yucky as well because i have to see it everytime i go to the toilet (i would usually warn TMI- but i think you can cope!!) and feel it all the time IYKWIM.
Thanks for the in sight into OPK testing- i will keep poas until i see some results!! And from what you say- it is all looking good for me!! Having a slightly longer cycle means later ovulation (i was still expecting day 14- im a dummy) which i sort of thought anyway. I have been having some belly twinges too- so here's to hoping!!!
And yes- i think we need a giant bull dozer!!! There are a few people i would knock down hard!!! LOL
Auntie M.... I get funny looks too when i am around babies. Its funny- people who havent lost babies can joke around and say i want to steal this one from you and most parents joke back saying- its all yours!! You can have it!!
But when someone like me says it- you see this fear cross over their eyes, like "S#it, she might really do it!!!" and that makes me sad. Its funny too coz most days if i see a baby- i go out of my way to avoid it. Especially new borns who are sleeping- its way tooo much for me. I can only handle babies who are a little older and have formed some distinguishing features- other wise i get one image in my head that wont go away of a sleeping baby- who isnt just sleeping. I love your come back though- this baby isnt cute enough, i will have to rememebr that one!!! LOL
I am so happy to see your ticker ticking away, i just wish i was there with you!! If all goes to plan- this is my month!!! Take care xoxox
KLEE.... If i see another post with out a ticker your in trouble. Thats all i have to say.:)
MEL..... I hope you are sitting back with your legs in the air (we cant have it fall out now can we!!??) and thinking pregnant thoughts!!! i am due to ovulate in a few days- so IMPLANT baby IMPLANT!!!!!! Crossing everything for you (except my legs... sorry ovulating soon!! LOL) cant wait till i see that giant BFP, followed of course by my own!!
JUDY....I hope you are doing ok. You are always in my thoughts xox
Well i think thats everyone!!! I hope i havent missed anyone- sorry if i have!!!
I had something to share.. i had a similar thing happen to me that klee had just before she found out she was preg, could mean nothing but i will say it anyway... i was at the pub last night ordering some take away dinner and i went to sit out side while i waited. I sat down and then one of people who was sitting at the table came back and we had to shuffle around to fit in another chair- he came over to help me move (the chairs are pretty heavy- solid wood) and he said "NOw Kat we know your with child so you stay there- i'll move it for you" and i said "Actually Stew- im not yet unless you know something i dont!!" and he said "Well i mean, we know your trying and i just reckon you are Kat, so just sit tight" Well- apparently i havent ovulated yet- so he may be pre empting things a little- but i am taking it as a sign!!!!
I better get into some work for now- i wil pop back later!!
Love to all
StarBright
StarLight
Wish upon a star Tonight
xoxoxox
-
Hey Kat, we won't be going to Grafton till after xmas, so ages yet!
-
StarBright-- this is for you... ummm I have to admit I am a research nut so be warned.
Frederick Jelovsek MD writes--
Are ovulation prediction tests worth doing?
Pelvic ultrasound looking at the ovaries is considered the gold standard in ovulation prediction in a research setting but obviously in a practical application of a woman trying to conceive, ultrasound is not used. Urinary LH testing has been shown to have a 100% correlation with ultrasound as far as predicting the timing of ovulation (3). In that same study, they looked at cervical mucous changes, basal body temperature (BBT) charts and salivary ferning. Cervical mucous changes only had a correlation of 48%, salivary ferning correlated 37% and BBT has a 30% correlation.
For the home tests that measure LH surge that immediately precedes ovulation, detection of LH occurs at above 30 mIU/ml. This means that women with polycystic ovarian syndrome who have slightly higher resting LH values are still not falsely detected as ovulating. The urinary LH spike occurs about 24-36 hours prior to ovulation so it is very useful for women trying to conceive because it gives them a window of warning. The test will show positive for one or two days and rarely 3 days if you catch a spike right at the beginning and it is a large release of LH.
I found this and thought "no WAY can there be a 100% correlation btw ovulation and pos OPK" so many sites say over and over that you can have a pos OPK and not ovulate... but when I went to my OB/GYN she showed me tons of journal articles that state the same correlation.
Thought that would get you a-peein'
Hugs!
CeCe
-
kat - i have to say they didn't work for me, well i didn't trust mine last month, so i guess also listen to what your body is saying, i trusted my bodily signs over the opk and had a successful result. another funny one was that the movie that was on around the time we conceived phoebe was on again, i mentioned to df that might be a good omen and it was. sorry about the ticker ladies, sometimes i just don't know
cece - my accupuncturist said to expect a different af every time, no month is ever going to be the same, i never really paid too much attention to what mine was like before so i did think it was different after Phoebe.
just have to do some more work will drop by for more personals later
-
Thankyou CeCe!!!
I have to say that one thing about not ovulating that was good so far- my poor DH says he is starting to feel like i only want to have sex when i want his sperm!! As a joke the other day i said- Hey i'm not ovulating.. wanna have sex just for fun?? And i made his day!!! Now when i am- i will try that approach too!!! LOL
ok ladies- i need some hugs......
My sister called me about an hour ago regarding my nephews up coming 1st Birthday Party. Now besides the obvious dilema i have with a babies 1st birthday party.... who remembers the fun me and DH had at my sisters Birthday??? Long story short- my DH and her FIL had a little argument because we went and watched the footy (the party was at a pub- we sat there for dinner, but then we escaped from the people with kids and went to watch footy) NOW it was ok for all the guys to watch if they were going for the Broncos- my hubby was going for the Titans. The Titans won. My sisters FIL then made a big deal becuase we missed the birthday cake and Shane replied it was nice of someone to come and tell us it was on.
Now from here- my brother in law stormed out of the party pushing the pram with Hamish in it, everyone dispaeared and we didnt know what was going on. We drove all the way to Ipswich from the pub in Brisbane (after travelling from billinudgel 2.5 hours away from Brisbane) to be told that my brother in law wasnt going to come in the house while we were there. We were welcome to stay- but he wasnt going to come home until we were gone. Yeah ok- we'll hang around.. NOT
We drove home and i havent seen them since. This was in April. Since then my sister has decided that my husband is not welcome in her house ever again, but i am anytime (didnt i miss the cake too?? yes)
So now i get a phone call because she has sent the invites off for Hamishes birthday party last week and she thought she would call me and let me know that she didnt send one to me because there will only be one name on the invitation. I said thats not good enough and i wont be going. She started to say that its ok coz mum is coming up just for the day so i can come up with her and it will only be for a few hours. I started crying while i tried to say its not just because Dh isnt invited, but because i just dont want to be there- so i hung up and have since sent her an email explaining how i feel about her being pregnant(not what i said before) and about having to see her celebrate her babies birthday and how i am over this sh$t between my husband and her husband and if she wants to play games i will just not bother with her and our family anymore. If they dont want to accept him- they dont get me. And honestly they wont miss me anyway- they dont call me to see how i am going- they dont remember my sons important days and they dont give a rats about me. I have then had my other sister texting me trying to get me to back down- she says she hates this going on- yet she is the one who travels PAST my HOUSE to visit my other sister yet never stops by to see me. Yeah- she cares.
Sorry- i am a bit of a mess. Bawling my eyes out because i still feel like a 10 year old whose big sisters are picking on her. Only now they have husbands picking on my husband too. And one thing about me is that i will put up with **** being piled on me- but not on the person i love. I still have my mum. She is all i need.
I am sooo glad this happened now while i am at work and not when i got home. Thanks for listening.
StarBright
xoxox
-
Oh gosh Kat, why is it that family really do NOT get it. Why on earth can they not accept the fact you lost yuor baby. It hurts, in fact it more than hurts, it s a big hole you cna't fill up with someone elses pg or 1st birthday. How would your darling Sister feel if the boot was on the other foot and it was you doing all this while she hurt. It reminds me a lot of the footballing families having the fall out over missing a birthday but in that cse there was no angel baby to consider.
Sometimes I think all you can do is take a big step backwards, avoid the lot of them and don't answer to any of them. Ignore the sms and emails and just try to get on with life with DH and talk with your mum.
You really do not need al the stress from family just now hun.
I so wish I cuold give em a talkin to for you.. ggrrrrr......
Klee I like seeing your ticker so please leave it in view :)
Cece I think OPKs work differently for everyone. I have no problem with them other than some months obviously the level is not as high as the lines are not as dark yet my temp still goes up so I must have ovulated. So long as you have other signs you can by you should be ok.
Mel can you feel al the positive vibes heading your way lol ?
Jo how goes it out your way?
Hi Lynn, AuntyM.. how are you both?
Naomi you wil find there will stil be many times even after you think you are coping, that you will cry when talking about your baby. It has been over 5 yrs since Annabelle died and sometimes yes I can talk about her without a problem and other times it just hits me and I break out in tears.
Short update as tea is ready.. saw the RE and he wants us to TTC au naturel thi scycle with BD as often as possible and if no bfp then he wants us to do IUI next cycle and if still bfn then he wants an IVF cycle hopefully before Christmas break. I will be 44 in February and the clinic does no tlike doing IVF over the age of 44.. and the clinic will close around Christmas and not re-open til late January as it ir being refurbished totally. I wanted to wait until a ful cycle after the Lap befre considering IUI etc but time is running out too quick.
hugs
Judy
-
Kat- I am so sorry that your sister is treating you this way. I can relate big time. Family... the ties that bind... and often gag. Your job right now is not to be a cheery auntie or enduring sister... your job is to take care of you and yours. Its hard to write off family... Lord knows I have tried and should... but for some daft reason, I still let myself get hurt by my sister and a few other family members. SO- I'm not going to tell you to do something I fail at. But, I am going to tell you to think of it this way: you are a strong woman who has been through pure hell. Maybe, in some twisted way, your sister resents that you do so well and your love with your DH is true and strong. Lets face it, a LOT of marriages don't survive what your's has. When in doubt, feel smug and superior.
Hugs
CeCe
