Thank you I love beening Aunty Nat and as far as mad women come on I take the cake on it! I will be having my very own place named after me.
Reason, bigger picture,I dont know why and its not always far but I just find this is something for me to hang onto and all you wonderful girls getting BFP make me keep going and wanting that babba. No matter what.
Well *Col* is alive and well... A gorgeous heartbeating away strong and regular at 140bpm. He/she even did some acrobatic movements for Mama!!!!! So, I am a happy and relieved woman... 3 more Friday's until my NT... But I am not counting or impatient!!!
Lynn: It's time to pop over to the pregnancy thread and be supported through this time. It can be scary and long but we are all there for you... I am so so happy you deserve this so very much...
Bailey::: YOU too my love... We are all waiting for you...
Mel: It's really hard when others are getting pregnant around you. I do understand. It will happen my love it will. Just keep believing... This month you have a plan... Big big squishy understanding hugs to you my love...
Nat: I am glad you posted - I posted to you in the pregnancy thread also... I am on calcium my obs popped me on it the same time as I began the prednisone... I have been craving milk and icecream like you wouldnt' believe also... So you get into it lovey because there is only a short time until September!
I will pop in later. I really just wanted to share my news and check on all of you...
mel - hugs to you babe, maybe there is a bigger picture to this, i have a theory, i am coming up with lots of theories at the moment, (think i am going mad), the theory being that you and i will fall pg around the same time, living so close we would be able to support each other in person as well as on bb. (that is if i don't get on your nerves at dinner). i know that might not be what to want to hear but i just wanted to share it with you
deb - so glad to hear col is well, another week down and another week closer to meeting him.
lynn - i am predicting a girl, just because of the sore throat, i knew it was a good sign, a girl because thats what i got with phoebe very early on
Flowerchild -YIPPEE - that is fantastic news - knew Col would be nice and healthy !!! ....3 weeks and counting now...
Nat, Klee & Mel - perhaps you could all be the lucky ones next month (actually this month now) and get those BFP's together - wouldn't that be exciting !
Bailey - how you going luv? Did you send that Polish joke - trying to remember who sent it...god it was funny...
Tess - how are you (will check other post to see if you are there).
Oh Deb I am so happy for you and Col! That is excellent news that he/she has a strong heartbeat.
Klee - a girl hey! Feels like deja vu. When I was pg with Cooper everyone said I was having a girl and then my beautiful boy popped out. Well we will have to wait and see.
I have to get something off my chest and maybe some of you feel the same.
During the past 6 months, many people have tried to say the right thing to me and alot of the time is was the worst thing to say. One thing in particularly that a couple of people said to me when I was talking to them about Cooper was 'we just need to get you pg'. For one, I don't think they can help and two how rude is that! Do they think that as soon as I am pg that my grieving for Cooper will just stop. I guess now that I am pg I am scared that people will think that I am 'ok' now, or 'better' and will think that I can't grieve for Cooper anymore. Don't they know that this is a lifetime of grieving. Obviously we are not telling people yet but I am just so scared about peoples reactions. I already feel like some people have forgotten Cooper and I'm scared that once they know I am pg again, he will be forgotten.
Lynn - To be honest, after we lost Asha, I too felt I would get 'better' if I was pregnant again. Obviously, as time went on, I realised I will never be better. I will never be the same person I was. When I got the BFP last week, it really hit me. It really just does not change how you feel about the baby you have lost does it. I hope this doesn't sound wrong, because I am so happy to be pregnant, but it is a bit of a wake up call for me in a way. It has not magically made me 'happy' if anything, I am feeling sad, scared and incredibly guilty. Guilty to Asha that I am having a new baby and guilty to this new baby that I just want Asha. In the few minutes a day when my brain is thinking sense, I know this is stupid, but the rest of body just can't accept it just yet. I know that this will get better, but at the moment I am just sad and it seems I can't talk myself out of it just yet. I know that the people who matter will know that this baby won't replace the precious one I lost. I just think that we are so incredibly lucky to have all found eachother because we will all understand how hard this is and will be. Sorry for the babble, looks like you were just the one to cop it when I got all emotional
Tommysmum - Did you tell the girls today? Well done!! yeah I semt you that joke, I thought it was so funny.
Flowerchild - Yay on the negative results on your friends sons BT and Yay on Col's scan!!
I also just want to say a big thankyou for all of your support and advice you give to us here. You really are amazing (looks like you copped an emotional rant from me too)
Dream - Everywhere is good to eat in Paris, Lol. Chocolate and banana crepes from the street vendors...to die for!
Mel - How are you? I am so sorry you are feeling cr@p. Email me and swear your head off if you like - like I did to you the other day, made me feel better
Hi to everyone else too, looks like we will have to have another group BFP in her this month, so get to the baby-dancing ladies...except Mel, you have to save yours til wednesday.
Lynn - I know just how you feel. I have been quite lucky and not had people completely ignore Caitlyn's existence but not mention it themselves. Unfortunately (for them ) I have no problem talking about my baby daughter and my ease at talking about her takes away their fear of making me cry.
This pregnancy with *alf* has been interesting in that way. People ask (as you get bigger) "is this your first". If it is a complete stranger I will say "sort of" and leave it at that unless they are silly enought to ask "what do you mean, sort of"?? Then I tell them I already have a daughter but she was still born at 25 weeks. For those I work with (but didn't know about Caitlyn) I just say "no, I had a still born daughter at 25 weeks". Those who know me know I have a daughter and even though they don't actively acknowledge her, they don't ignore her either. Especially if I talk about her. And I do. Lots.
Deb - Wonderful news on the big all ok with Col, nothing better then that little heartbeating away, isnt it amazing how quickly you can see it! im so happy for you and very happy to hear your OB is so on the mark, not to many are like that! I take my citracal + D each and every night just before going to sleep! I found this great naturpath and she is going to make up a special pre pregnancy formular which I will start in July and keep taking till the end - I will do anything, even stand on my head if they told me it would help!
Lynn - Your so right it is a lifetime of grieve and we will never forget your little man nor anyone elses angel babies so dont ever feel that way, those that matter will always remember. We went down the beach and had dinner tonight and DS looked for "Cooper in the Sky" it was so special down there, stars out and the moon shimmer across the waves it looked like silver being sprinkled over the ocean and I thought all our angels were out there tonight, it was a very peaceful feeling. A very good omen for everyone in here.
Bailey - Oh I need to lose about 20 more kilos then so I go over really skinny and come back a little overweight! I cant wait.
Tommysmum - I wont be this/next month Im doing the whole getting the body mind and sprit ready for Sept/oct...making babies os!
Well we have to be a our game at 7.30am in the morning and even if DS is not well enough to play Mummy dearest is manager (WTF) I know how did this happen so I will still be going, so its off to bed for me very soon. Sweet dreams to you all and take a look at the moon tonight and tell if if anyone else feels that special feeling? or am I just going insane?
Firstly, thank you to everyone for understanding what I said before. I went out to get new front tyres on the car after I posted and in the hour I had to sit there and wait I read my book and thought alot about my post and was really worried that you would think that I didnt want you to be pregnant, which is obviously not the case. I would never take it away from any of you. Anyway, I was a bit worried that I was being selfish so I am so happy you all understood what I meant
Klee - That is so NOT the wrong thing to say, I think it would be really nice if we could fall at similar times and go through it all together and have someone to run to on the crazy days cause I am sure there will be lots of them LOL. I am really looking forward to dinner tomorrow night, you wont get on my nerves although same cant be said other way around - DH says I can talk under wet cement ...but he is probably right, just ask Lynn and Spring LOL.
Lynn - I totally get what you are saying about Cooper being forgotten, I have wondered about that too cause a few people have said to me (when I get upset) that I just need to get pregnant. While I think that is true, I do sometimes wonder if they think I will be "better" when I am. One thing you can be assured of is that none of us will ever forget Cooper :hugs: And I am gonna jump on the bandwagon and ask to be Aunty Mel (promise to be a better Aunty Mel than the biological one ) to "Hope", I have already put my name down on lil Spring's list of adopted Aunty's - its always good to get in early LOL.
Bailey - Yes my little vent back helped heaps, although those little things still bug me - grrrrrr! I will definitely be sending some venting your way next time I am feeling angry, I guess as the day has gone on I feel a little better. Oh by the way, I have taken the liberty of nicknaming your little bean "Faith" - reasons will be clear shortly - so I guess I will request to be Aunty Mel to "Faith" as well
Deb - Good to hear Col is going along beautifully, although knew it would be the case. And I think I am just gonna ask to be Aunty Mel to all the bubbas so Col is no exception. Hey if I can't have my own I will have to settle for Aunty to hundreds LOL.
Tommysmum - I really do hope your right and its all of us next month, and thank you I know you guys will all stick around to support us.
Georgie - I hope you can convince your DH to TTC soon, I can understand his fears but I am sure he will come around. WHEN he does, I will give you the details of my OB again. Although, have you thought about seeing someone before you decide to TTC? Just to see if there is anything help they can give you that may make your decision easier? Maybe it would be worthwhile just to get an opinion? I dunno, anyway - you will know the right thing for you.
Nat - Too cloudy in Melbourne to look at the moon... darn Melbourne weather!
Hi to everyone else.
Oh well that's all from me - enjoy whats left of the night.
Mel
Last edited by Mel1977; June 1st, 2007 at 11:09 PM.
Mel - You should never feel bad for anything you say to any of us, we are all pretty much feeling the same things just maybe at different times and stages. I for one understand if you are feeling angry and upset, and you know what? You have every right to feel it, so never feel bad about anything ok?
Big hugs Bailey and Lynn...
How you are feeling is such a common feeling... The guilt, sadness and the fear that to show your happieness and excitement with this new baby will somehow mean you have healed the pain of goodbye. Anyone that understands a little of human emotions knows that this isn't the case. I think sometimes it just makes dealing with YOU easier for some folk. Easier because instead of crying now you can smile about something...
As Michelle says the ease at which you talk of your Angels helps others to know they are very much a part of your lives. I hope you can wrestle with these emotions - they are tough ones hey... Sending you all my love and big hugs to you both...
Well today we went to the show with the kids. It began pouring cats and dogs.... Cow dung, side show alley and mud.... Do you think I had fun???? Not on your pink babushka!!!! Anyway everyone is now having a rest and I am trying to thaw out!
Boy a little quite in here.....are you all on dates? My DH is at the soccer watching Aust and ? oh well its a big game that I should know but.....!
Mel - You could never ever be selfish my love, and I just know you are going to get that ++++++soon Im sending you all my babydust I can find. Im sorry you missed that moon last night, it was very special.
Deb - How wonderful a show and mud and cow dung did I mention Im a city girl! Im with you, but im sure those kiddlets of yours had a ball.
How are all you pg girls feeling??? any ms yet?
Just a quick one, DS IS SICK....yes yes yes call docs and tell them I though he was fakein it, what sort of a mother am I? So to make up for it I will be sleeping with him so Im goingto have a bath, a small glass of cab/merlow and hit the sack, me thinks maybe I will be waking up during the night.
Mel - How are you feeling? Of course you are Aunty Mel. and to you.
Spring - Hope you are enjoying Canberra. Only a week til hubby is home right? It seems so lonely in here without you around.
Lynn - Lurve the new ticker. It seems you are at the same place as me, happy but scared. We'll be right, we'll just have to stick together.
Tommysmum - How are you feeling? We will have to catch up soon.
Dream - I just called DOCS and they are on their way. Poor DS, you must feel so bad I hope he feels better soon.
Flowerchild - Thankyou for your wise words....yet again! In the not-very-often moments of commonsense and clarity I have, I do know what you are saying is right, but man is it hard to imagine bringing this baby home. I am too scared to even think it. My uncle does that NLP thing, where you kind of re-train your brain to think more positive and I am going to go and get brainwashed soon I think. I just don't know how I am going to get through.
to everyone else too, I hope you are all well.
I am starting to feel faint MS. Was gagging a little this morning. Woo hoo!
Spring - hope you are having a nice time away and that it is not too cold down there...brrrr
Dream - I hope DS is ok - when i was 12 i complained of extreme tummy pain. Mum took me to hospital and they asked "do i fake it" (isn't that the Q they should be asking now?...LOL). They sent me home. A few days later - in the same pain. I had appendicitis - nearly burst ! Bloody docs had no idea !
I think someone is going to have to send DOCS here right now- i have a whinging DD chucking the biggest tantrums now - ergh !
Bailey - bring on the MS - you can have mine ! Just posted in the pgncy thread - if you are free we can catch up Tuesday - lunch at the beach ?
Klee, Georgies and Mel - hope you are all doing well. Hello to everyone else.
Bailey: NLP is a great idea. The other good thing to try is hypnobirthing. They will give you techniques that will help you to deal with the stress of the pregnancy and the birth (whatever way you choose to birth). It is great. I have begun my course and am loving it...
Mel: I hope you are okay... Is Tuesday the day for *the test*? This is the beginning... You too soon will be getting that and we will be using those green dancing folk for you...
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....3 weeks and counting now...
so I will still be going, so its off to bed for me very soon. Sweet dreams to you all and take a look at the moon tonight and tell if if anyone else feels that special feeling? or am I just going insane?
...but he is probably right, just ask Lynn and Spring LOL.
) to "Hope", I have already put my name down on lil Spring's list of adopted Aunty's - its always good to get in early LOL.
to you.
I hope he feels better soon.
to everyone else too, I hope you are all well.
and we will be using those green dancing folk for you...
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