TTC after Stillbirth/Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the 1st Trimester March 2007

Hi everyone,
awww big hugs to Lynne and Spring. It is really really difficult negotiating in law relationships sometimes. I truly understand your hurt Spring and Lynne.

Lynne it sounds like your MIL has some boundary issues there. It was really not okay to contact a health professional on your behalf - and I am really surprised that they took the bullet and contacted you. Maybe your MIL just doesn't know how to help and maybe she is a "doer"and that is why she did what she did. It still wasn't the right thing but maybe that's why? Some folk find it really really tough just to sit with someone else's pain - it is so very common a complaint amongst grieving people. Outsiders feel "it's time they moved on". Often this is born from their discomfort with sadness, grief and death. I know this doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Perhaps next time she offers her unwanted advice you have a pre arranged "statement" you can give her. I know I did this with people who would continually offer unhelpful advice. Something along the lines of " the grief I feel at the loss of Cooper will always be there MIL - somedays are great and others are unbearable. This is a process and one that I will move through in my own time, with my chosen support. I would really appreciate if you would respect this..." Perhaps you could phone Bonnie Babes or Sids for kids and ask for some brochures to be sent to you about grief and grieving. You could give them to your MIL so maybe she will understand a little more... I am sorry Lynne. I wish I could give you a big hug in person so know I would if I could. :hug: Keep leaning on those who understand.

Spring, This is a big dilemma. One I empathise with. I will tell you a little of some of my story in the hope that it will help you. When our first angel died my MIL told me it was obviously a sign that Ihad had enough children. I was shocked and just couldn't believe her comment when she understood just how much I wanted another child. It really hurt me and that comment often springs to memory and makes me feel sad. My MIL is a bit of a piece of work and due to her comments we haven't told them of our other two baby Angels - I knew that I would hear comments that were not helpful and would serve to hurt me. To protect myself from that we made the decision to keep our babies to ourselves. Of course as you know they died without ever being known to their grandparents... :( Due to other reasons between my dh and his parents he has not heard from his parents for some time. However, next pregnancy we will not share the baby until it's born - easier for us because DH parents live in country victoria!

I understand why your DH wants to share the news with both sets of parents (we didnt' with subsequent pregnancies we only told my side - simply due to the hurtful nature of my MIL therefore we protected ourselves from comment...). However, maybe you need to talk a little more about this Spring. Perhaps put on hold telling anyone until you feel a sense of resolution about this? It does sound like you have a lot of concerns about her respecting your need for keeping Lil Spring a family secret for the time being. It also sounds like you are concerned about her making inappropriate comments. That is something that has the potential to cause problems for you and your sense of wellbeing.

I am thinking of you Spring and I am hoping that you and DH can come to a place of unity on this one. Just know that it is a really tough one. Lots of love and hugs...

Me, well the Baby Dance Fest has begun and I have very strong ovulatory pains (ON BOTH SIDES!!!! ;) ) today. So I am imagining ovulation will occur tonight or early tomorrow. I pray that we catch those eggs this month - all of us. We deserve it!
:bluedust:

Hi to Bailey and Mel - you girls can chat!!!! I hope you both have a beautiful weekend.

Thank you so much Deb. Your words are so wise. I think I believe that she only did it because she thought she was helping. Otherwise I don't think I could forgive her. I guess I don't know what it is like to be on the other side of pain. I don't know what it is like to watch someone in pain and not know how to help them. Your words are perfect and I think next time we have a 'chat' I will use them and hopefully she will understand a bit better. I guess the hardest part or how it made me feel was that I was put in the too hard basket or she didn't know how to deal with my issues so passed me onto someone else.

I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL. Some people just don't think before they speak do they. Every woman is entitled to as many children as they want and it is no-ones decision except for ours. When I read what she had said to you, I was in complete shock and just felt for you at the time and how that would have made you feel. You deserve as many children as you want.

I hate it when people (doctors, MIL) say that I am still young. Sometimes it makes me feel like they are saying don't worry about Cooper, you will have another one, you have plenty of time. They don't know how I am feeling. Age is one thing, but feeling (emotional and physically) is another. I know that 29 is not 'old' to start a family. But when I started this journey at 26, 3 years ago, it feels like eternity and I do feel old. I am not saying that 29 is old, I am saying that I feel old. People just don't seem to understand the way I feel. It is in my mind that I should have 2 babies by now. That is what was planned - 26 and 28. If I have learnt one thing on this journey it is that life is not how we plan it.

Sorry for rambling..................

:pray: I hope you got that eggie Deb. Or you get it tonight or tomorrow. Sending you heaps and heaps and heaps and heaps of :bluedust:

Hi everyone,

Spring - How did it all go? I am sorry you ahve to go through all that cr@p with MIL. I can understand why your DH wants to tell her, but I even more understand why you don't want him too. It just sucks that you should be enjoying this time (well as much as us lot ever could) and instead you are having to stress about this. If you do have to tell her, please try not to let her thoughts/comments or her potential to spill the beans worry you. At least you are interstate :) and you physically don't have to deal with it. Outta sight outta mind - make it your new mantra!! I hope what ever you guys decide, you are ok with it. How did your family react??

Lynn - OMG, how's your MIL's form?? More front than Dolly Parton is what my mum would say to that. but seriously, what Flowerchild said makes sense to me, that she may just not know what else to do, so this makes her feel like she's 'helping' in saome way. Try not to let it get you down too much, you just don't need it. Sorry to hear about your not so good BT's, hopefully wednesdays will be better.

Flowerchild - Woo Hoo on your egg's! Hopefully they are on their way!

Mel - I am going to go and find Nathan's my space sight and drool over him. Lol, how gross is he? Hopefully I can buy his record from his site for you. :lol: Sorry, that wasn't funny. I will go and have a perve now!

Flowerchild: How did you ever get so wise. Thank you so much for your kind and insightful words. I really thought about what you had to say and coming from someone who has had to endure some terrible treatment from their MIL, I am so grateful for you sharing.

Lynn: WOW, back off MIL, that is just not on. What sort of professional would just call you out of the blue? Doesn't sound like they know what they are doing. I know that you MIL was just trying to help but I agree with Flowerchild, there are some boundary issues there. Big hugs hun, another thing in common, screwed MIL :rolleyes:

Bailey: "More front than Dolly Parton" I love it, can I use that one. Thanks also for the advice. I agree with the outta sight outta mind thing, although I wished I was in Melbourne more so that I could see Mel, I am glad that there is still a State between MIL and me.

Mel: How is the weekend with the Kids going? I hope that are behaving and being as cute as they usually are. Thanks for your advice about MIL. You are such a gem and I couldn't do without you.

Well we did it, the calls have been made and I'm exhausted. Talked to Mum and Dad first and Mum was crying (with happiness) before I even finished my sentence. Mum and Dad are wonderful, very supportive and offer such encouragment. Spoke to my Best Friend and Big sister and after they stoped crying (I must have that effect) they were both so excited and amazed that I had kept it quiet this long.

DH called his Mother and father separately (they are divorced) and I just didn't listen. Apparently she didn't say anything stupid and didn't ask to speak to me. I ummed and arhhed over telling her for the last week and I think that it was more important to me that DH got to tell his parents then to worry about the crap that comes out of her mouth. He said something very insightful to me, he said 'I don't like my mother but I love my mother so it is very important to me that she is told'. I couldn't really argue with that could I. So whats done is done, I am out and proud (lol)

Anyway, we are going to relax for a while and I'll pop in later on.

Big love
Spring

Lynn I would say she did put you in the too hard basket my love - not because she doesn't care but because she hasn't got the skills to help... It is a special ability to sit with someone else when they are in pain - not everyone has that ability unfortunately...

Don't be too despondent at your bloods. CD9 today and if you ar a late ovulator it doesn't surprise me that your "girls" are a bit quiet. On Wednesday you will know a little more my love. I am hoping this is the month for you Lynn :hug:

Thanks for congratulating my gorgeous eggs Bailey!!!!! I feel pretty woo hoo too!!!
I am very very uncomfortable though so hopefully that means good things are happening in ovary land!!!! (she says a little :pray: for twins!!!! ;))

We are going out to dinner tonight so I need to go and begin the bathing process!!!!

Well done Spring - your DH sounds like a very nice man. Congratulations on "coming out". Now, you just sit back and gestate okay???? Big hugs - what a huge day it's been... :hug:

Sorry Flowerchild I forgot to do the happy dance :dance: about your positive OPK. I would be so happy if you graduated with Twins.

Luv Spring

OMG I have so much to catch up on, just wanted to let you know family and Me doing OK thanks very much to all the wonderful support from you super women.

DEB Go get them, those eggies there! Lots of good stuff im sending your way!

Im goin to try and catch up on post and all thats been happening in here but if I dnt get back tonight I will tomorrow night. We just got back from Bowral and I drove home......to say the least a little stuffed, both from eating and driving:lol:

So sweet dreams to you all I hope your all well (im sure i will find out soon)

Lots of love and +++++vibes to you all Natxxx

Hey Nat,
Glad to hear you guys are doing ok.:hug:

Hi everyone,

Spring - What a day you have had... I am glad you finally got it sorted and now you have "come out" to everyone. I can imagine how excited your family is. The MIL situation was a tricky one, but I agree you cant really argue with his point huh, as much as you wish she would fall off the face of the earth. How is your belly going anyway? Do you think you will be able to hide it from work much longer?

Lynn - Sorry about your BT, but hopefully Wednesday will be a totally different story. We have already spoken about your MIL, but everyone is right she did cross some boundaries there. Hope your accupuncture went ok, some people say it hurts but I personally didnt think it did when I had it.

Deb - Your MIL sounds delightful! Lynn is right, you and anyone else is entitled to have as many or as few children as they like. She is not the one taking care of them or supporting them so what is it to her? DH has 3 to his ex wife and we would like a couple together, and then if you include Nicholas he will eventually be a father of 6! Some may say that is alot but we dont care, each to their own I say. How can anyone think anything negative of a new little bubba in the world?

Nat - Glad to hear your family is doing ok :hug: Its probably been a rough week (or 2 or 3) so no wonder your stuffed.

Bailey - Hope you enjoyed Nathan's site... It is so wrong that his record didnt reach #1 :protest:

Not much happening on my end, kids are being really good this weekend and so far I have done a really good job being patient with them so I am quite proud of myself. We got them into bed early tonight cause we have a big day tomorrow. Its my dads birthday so we are going to meet up with my family at Fairy Park near Geelong so they are pretty excited.

Well today is meant to be "O" day and I happened to find 1 OPK left even though I though I had used all and I got a positive (YAY! If only it was a HPT) so... please please please :fertilise: - I dont know what I will do if it doesnt work this month!

On a different note, I saw my GP today for a different thing but he got onto the subject of TTC and asked where we were at so I said well today is CD14 and he started to give me all this advice on the best "positions" and how I need to make sure I stay laying down afterwards... LOL I nearly died, I felt so embarrassed. I know he meant well, but I just felt weird getting sex advice from my GP. Its not like I asked him or anything... and besides I have done all that research online already, hehe!

Anyway, wish us luck - :bluedust: to all either at or coming up to "O" time.

Love Mel

Nat - I'm glad to hear that you and your family are doing ok. We do talk alot don't we!!! There is a bit to catch up on............

Mel - :dance: Woohoo on the positive opk - get busy girl! This is your month, think positively and it will happen. NO negative thoughts. Don't even think about what you will do next month because this is your month. Next month, you will have sore boobs, m/s and all the other wonderful things that come with being pregnant! Sending you heaps and heaps of :bluedust:

Deb - I hope you caught those eggs. I am hoping that this is my month too. Like Mel, I don't know what I will do if it isn't, but I am staying positive. Hopefully on Wednesday there will be better results.

Spring - it must be good to have finally told your family. I hope for you MIL sake that she respects you guys.

Bailey - :hello:

Mel: LMAO about the GP giving you position tips!!! I am glad he is trying to help but I can imagine 'how embarassment' that must been. I agree with the lying down for as long as you can. I did that the cycle I fell pregnant. It just gives the little fellas a bit of a head start. I am also glad that you got a positive OPK. That is fantastic. I hope you have a wonderful day with your family today and I really hope your Dad has a wonderful Birthday. Happy Birthday Mr. Mel :happybirthday:

Flowerchild: Good to see you are not around ;) working on those twins I hope. But don't stay away too long, we will miss you too much.

To the rest of you mob, see you at 12.00pm. I wish we were all going.

Big love
Spring

Lynn, I must have just missed you. I forgot to mention how sorry I am about your BT results yesterday. I remember you saying that they were going to do scans also to check out how those follies are going. Is that still the case? I hope more than anything that you BT on Wed is shows that O is on the way. Sending you all the :egg: vibes I can muster.

See you soon.

Luv Spring

Firstly :happyforyou: Mel on a positive OPK!!!!!! It is helpful to stay prone for as long as possible to give those swimmers the best chance of getting promptly to their destination! Some women just prop up their buttocks a bit - you can use a pillow or even just your fists under your hips for 10 -15mins. It helps to get the "goodstuff" up on your cervix. Keep DTD for the next couple of nights. Most women will ovulate between 12-24 hours after they surge however sometimes it can be up to 48 hours after. I am hoping and praying that this is your month too Mel... :pray: Wouldn't it be lovely if we both hit the mark this month and could journey the pregnancy trail together. I hope you have a lovely time today for your Dad's birthday.

Bailey - is it nearing o time for you too???

Lynn - I am hoping that this is your month too - wouldn't it be lovely to see 4 :bfp: in here in the next few weeks? Are you having a follie scan on Wednesday (that would be cd13 wouldn't it?)? I am sending all of the "ripe follicle" and "healthy eggs meeting healthy sperm" vibes that I can muster...

Spring, Hi to you and Lil Spring. As I type away here all of you Sydney girls will be meeting for lunch - I hope you all have a lovely time... :hug:

Well, yesterday I had soooo much pelvic congestion with lots of ovulatory type pains on both the left and right sides. I felt incredibly uncomfortable. Today I have none of that so I am assuming ovulation occured last night. Of course we have been getting jiggy with it so all we can do now is hope and pray that we caught those eggs!!!! We are spending the day in the garden - next weekend is my Evie's 3rd birthday so we are sprucing things up a bit! It's beautiful weather here and I must get back to it...

Hi girls,

Mel - It is criminal that nathan has not yet got to number one, but I think with you and I now on his fan base, we can spread the word and he should go triple platinum by christmas. Actually I might buy you the cd so you and your DH can set the mood for your BD'g tonight....:cryinglaugh: Yay on the + opk. This will be your month, I am sure.
Lotsa :bluedust: to you!

Flowerchild - Hoping his guys caught your guys! Lotsa :bluedust: to you too!

Dream, Spring and Lynn - You lot have probably heard enough from me for today, so I'll come back in later! :D

Hey everyone,

Mel - you haven't been in here for a while so I hope that means you have been busy :bd: Lots of positive thinking! I do the pillow thing under the butt after DTD, hasn't worked so far but this month it will :D Sending you heaps and heaps of :bluedust: Hope you had a nice day today for your dad's birthday.

Deb - I :pray: so much that you caught that eggie.I hope you enjoyed the day in the garden.

What about the biggest loser!!! That is not fair that my 2 favourite teams are in the bottom 2! I love this show - it gives me motivation. I want to lose 9kg in a week like Munnalita did - I am so motivated this week.......................I think I need to be after what I ate today

Lynn - Me and D-almost-H :D have been very upset with the Biggest Loser. They are my fave teams too, I so wanted Munnalita to get the boot. She is a pain. Though 9 kilo's!! How the hell can you lose 9 kilos in a week? I wonder who will go. Monotone Laura let the team down again, and she still showed no emotion. Well, I think that is enough *****ing from me for now.

Ooooh, I got censored in my last post! Just wanted to let you all know it was only the b word....it wasn't anything too naughty!

Goodmorning everyone,
Trusting that the Sydney women had a nice catch up yesterday.
Mel - hoping that you are baby dancing away and that you catch that egg this month :fertilise: vibes to you my love!

Bailey: thanks for the vibes and babydust - let's hope it works for us all this month.

Lynn: It will work this month - are you having a follie scan on Wednesday?

Spring: How are you and LIl Spring???? Hoping you feel great after spreading your news.

Yes, we had a lovely day yesterday - hard work but lovely! I :pray: we caught our eggs - now we just have to wait and see. I don't like the waiting bit much!!! I will have my progesterone levels taken next Monday. We don't have a pathology clinic open up here on the weekends so I won't get it done until cd8-9. That's okay it will give us the picture!

I will pop back later lovelies... :hug:

Hi all,

I was wondering if i could join in here! I think i am finally brave enought to ttc

Of course you are welcome here!

Congratulations on feeling that you can embark on this next journey. I know you will get lots of loving support from all of the gorgeous women in here... :hug:

Deb - woohoo on catching the egg. I hope that everything goes well next Monday :pray:
Yes we had a wonderful day yesterday. We can talk! I'm suprised they didn't kick us out of the restaurant. I'm not sure if they are doing on a scan on Wednesday. They didn't say. I will ask when I get there. :crossfingers: there is something going on down there!

Bailey - you naughty girl - being censored!!!!

Mel - what are you up to this week? Are you working? I can't remember when you said that you start your job.

Nat - I was thinking of you today at 10am. I hope the service went as well as can be expected. May your Grandma rest in peace with her hubby and all our precious angels. :hug:

Jo - welcome. I hope that you find this journey short and sweet. You will find loads of support from these wonderful women.

Hi everyone,

Jlk - Welcome to TTC, I hope you graduate from here really quickly.

Flowerchild - Fingers crossed for you. Hopefully all that BD'ing will pay off for you this month. We all keep sating that this will be a good month for us all.

Mel - How are you going? Did thinking of Nathan get you in the mood for BD'ing?:lol: Sorry, couldn't help it.

Spring - How are you feeling? Still full from yeaterday? I will come back and post later when my household is not so chaotic, cos I have been thinking alot about something you said yesterday that was so close to what I have been thinking.

Lynn - When are your next BT's? It's wednesday isn't it? I just wanted to see if you felt like soming along to that support group, it is wednesday. I am going to go.

Dream - How are you doing today?

Hello to everyone else....I don;t think I missed anyone.

Hi all, I think Im ready to take part again as well... Its been a long road,(as I know it has for everyone of you beautiful woman) and I have felt so let down by my body! Im at cd13, feel alot like you deb, pains have been full on, and been lasting awhile, so hopeing 'O' day is cd14. Have only one OPK left, hope its positive tomorrow.
Hope I can keep up with everything that is going on, hopefully there will be a load of BFP in the next few weeks!!!!

Firstly Chelle and JLK I am so sorry for the loss of your darling little angles and I want to welcome you with open arms to our little group. Don't worry, we will take really good care of you but I hope more than anything that you graduate soon. Huge :hug: to you both.

Lynn: You are too cute, I got your card when I got home this arvo and I had a big smile on my face. It is now taking pride of place on our fridge.

Bailey: You are a rebel, the first person in the TTC thread to be sensored I think. And that sort of language from the Bride to be... Tsk Tsk. I hope whatever I said yesterday didn't upset you. I'll pop in later and see so we can chat a bit more.

Nat: Now that we have met I think I should call you Nat. like Lynn, I wanted to let you know that you have been in my thoughts and I hope that your Nan is now at peace with her Hubby. Big :hugs:

Flowerchild: I hate waiting to, but by the sounds of it, you did everything you could to catch that eggie ;) Sending all the :fertilise: vibes I can muster.


I am doing ok, I had the sickest belly yesterday after over indulging with the lovely Sydney group. We can talk, almost 5 hours but I could have kept going for 5 more. Thanks to each of you for yesterday, you truly are gems.

To all you other spunk rats, I am going to cook some food and watch the BL. I don't think I am ready for the elimination. Greg is my favourite and Damien comes a close second so either way, it isn't happy days. I agree, Munnalita gets on my nerves, but you must admit, her and Courtney are interesting to watch.

Big love
Spring.

Spring - No, no nothing you said upset me, it was just about the timing thing, about when our babies left us and how maybe they saved us from even more heartache (if that is at all possible) It was just exactly how I have felt and it was nice to hear that you thought the same way. I always think that everything that I feel is wrong or warped or just plain mad, so it was very validating (that word is very Oprah I know) I will come back on later and chat, I am trying, in vain, to get the monster to sleep.

Hi Girls,

Chelle & Jo - Welcome to our little group, it is sad that you have to be here but you will gain alot of support and, as Bailey said, I hope you graduate really soon.

Bailey - No it didnt get me in the mood... I have been waiting at the mailbox for the CD you were sending, hehe! ;) CD14, your getting closer! Too funny on the censoring, nice one I am proud! LOL

Deb - Its a waiting game for both of us now, I hate this time. As you all already know I am the most impatient person on earth and I am not even past the :bd: (hehe) stage yet and already want to test... I am refraining though cause I reckon DH would get me locked up if I did! It would be so nice if we could all graduate this month.

Lynn - How are you feeling? I am at work this week. I was so bummed that I couldnt sleep in this morning, although it was probably good for me not to be sitting around the house crying as I have been lately.

Spring - I feel so out of the loop on all of this BL stuff, I dont watch it so have no idea who all of these people are... damn Foxtel! Have you heard anything from MIL or is she behaving herself so far? Hope your sick belly is gone, I would be only too happy to catch your sickness :p

Nat - I assume from the other girls posts that your Grandma's funeral was this morning - :hug: to you, I hope you are all ok. Probably totally emotionally and physically exhausted.

Well yesterday was a nice day, very tiring and I as soon as the kids got picked up I fell asleep on the couch for 2 hours! Got sunburt (will I ever learn?) so pretty much with all the freckles I have been getting lately technically we could call it a tan LOL.

I started work at my 2 month temp job today, everyone was really nice to me and at the end of the day the supervisor asked me if I was interested in permanent work, geez I have only been there a day! But I said no. Just my luck though, a lady walked in and said "can I have everyones attention please, so and so (cant remember the girls name) has an announcement to make" and then this girl says "Oh I am pregnant, and I cant keep it a secret anymore cause I am starting to show"... Well do you think I didnt want to get up and punch her in the nose! I kept thinking why did she pick today to make her announcement, why couldnt she have done it last week when I wasnt there? Anyway, I managed to control my emotions and just sat there tapping away on my computer and trying to ignore everyone gushing over her. A lady did ask me if I had any little ones and I just said no, it is easier that way I think.

Enough of that, you girls sound like you caught up on Sunday and had a lovely day... I am so envious, I will definitely have to talk DH into a weekend away in Sydney some time soon - I am pretty sure he wouldnt mind if we went away and I ditched him for you gals LOL.

Hi to anyone I have missed.

Take care all,

Mel

Hey Bailey: I think the more you reflect on the things we did in the lead up to losing Asha and Harrison, there are two many simularities between what we did and said for it to be a coincidence. The same feeling of dread just can't be ignored, as mothers, we need to learn to trust our instincts.

Mel: MIL has steered clear of me thank God. I am sorry about the announcement at work today, but you should have been proud of yourself for holding it together. I hope you enjoy the next few months there.

Lv
Spring

OMG!! I can't believe Greg and Mel are out of BL!!! Nooooooooo. I am going to miss them. But did you see how much weight they have lost since they have left? My god, if that isn't motivation, I don't know what is. I have done 2 big walks today so I feel ok. Tennis was called off.....again! Stupid rain, shouldn't complain should I, we do need the rain.

Bailey - yeah Wed for the next BT. Hopefully some good news will come out of that. What time is the support group on? Is it at Rozelle?

Spring - glad you got the card. I just had to send you one now that you are out and proud! I hope you are feeling a bit better today.

Mel - LMAO at your tan! That is too funny. I'm sorry about the announcement at work. It is everywhere isn't it! (except here :wall: ) Every tv show and every ad has a baby or preg person - has it always been like that or are they just being cruel all of a sudden! That would be awesome if you came to Sydney for our next catch up. Bailey is the event co-ordinator for the next catch up.

Nat - still thinking of you :hug:

Deb - hope you are starting to cook a little eggie :pray:

Chelle - I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your journey is very short here. We are planning on graduating by the end of March, so it sounds as thought you may be joining us. Hope you catch the eggie very soon :pray:

Jo - hope you are well

I forgot to mention in my previous post. DH and I have been having a few "discussions" lately about Cooper's ashes. As you know he is at home with us at the moment but we have a garden for him at the crematorium. Well DH thinks he should go up there but I am just not ready to let my little boy go. DH wants to lay him to rest, which I totally understand and want to do as well. I explained to DH that I still go into his room every day and hold him, and kiss him and talk to him and if he goes in his garden I won't be able to hold him again (only in my heart and dreams). I told DH that my empty arms ache so much that I just need to hold him now and that perhaps when our next bubba comes along, Cooper can 'meet' them and then our next bubba can help us lay Cooper to rest. He has agreed to this.

So today I took Cooper to the crematorium because he was in a temporary urn and I wanted him to be put in his bronze urn which has a plaque on it. I was going to wait until my mum was home tomorrow but now that DH and I decided we would put him in his bronze urn I just couldn't wait another day. It was hard going by myself but I know that Cooper would be proud of how strong I was. I even showed him his garden.

So my boy is home, in his perfect little urn and maybe I can stop crying and stressing for a bit as to when he will be going into his garden and can enjoy our time together at home :hug:

Lynn: Cooper is proud of you and so am I. You showed incredible strength going to the crematorium today. Huge :hug: babe.

Welcome home little man.

Luv Spring and Harry.

Lynn, it must have taken so much strength to go to the crematorium today... I am proud of you, Cooper is proud of you and you should be proud of yourself :hug:

Hi everyone,

Chelle - Welcome to our little gang, hopefully you too will join us all when we upgrade to the pregnancy thread.

Lynn - Wow, what a day you have had. I think you and DH made a good decision to keep Cooper home with you for a little while. I have Asha with us too, we are not sure if that is where she will stay or if we will take her to the garden at the cemetary, but home is where we need her right now. I am happy that you have made that decision. It must have been tough to go on your own, but I am sure that your little angel is so proud of you. The meeting is on at 10:30, I am pretty sure, but I am catching up with my friend tomorrow and I will double check, and it is at the Sids and Kids office at Rozelle hospital.

Mel - Sorry, but I decided to keep the Nathan cd. Well, I am coming up for ovulation, so I thought I needed the soft n sultry sound of his voice to help us get in the mood. Lol, maybe I can burn you a copy. I am sorry you had a $hitty day at work. I can't believe that you had to sit through that on your first day. Well, it will be your turn soon, so don't let it get you down.

Spring - I know, I always think back to the things I was thinking in the last month or so before Asha died. I knew something was different. I never had those feelings with DS, and I hope to god I never have those feelings again. DP and I have talked a few times about the circimstances, and I guess we are just trying to make ourselves feel a little better, but we have decided that the way she left us was probably the best way in the whole horrible situation. It sounds weird, but as I was telling you yesterday, three days later I would have been having my next ultrasound, and they would have picked up the fluid in her body, and that her lungs were too little and that she was never going to make it, so we would have had to make the decision to either induce me, and watch her struggle to breathe on her own and suffer, or just wait for her to go in utero. I can't imagine being able to cope in either situation, so I am grateful that it happened how it did, iykwim. It actually makes me so mad that i should say that I am 'grateful' but I just mean that it could have been worse. I have to tell myself that. And maybe as you said, they waited for us to be ready, well as ready as you could ever be. :( I just miss her so much.

Nat - I hope you and you family are doing ok after today:hug:

:bluedust: to everyone and :bellygrowing: to Spring!

Nat & Deb, I need some advice on Clomid & Metformin. I know that I don't need to be charting because I am being tested but I just feel like I am doing something positive when I take my temp every morning. Can Clomid & Metformin affect my temps. This is the first cycle that I have been on both meds and my temps seem to be quite high. :dunno: Any advice would be appreciated.

Ok, just need to vent!!! :angry:

I want to be involved in what is going on with my body, so I am interested to know what my hormone levels are and what that means - I didn't think this was too much to ask!!! I just feel like I was so naive with my first pregnancy because I thought everything was ok, so I just want to know what is going on and have as much knowledge as possible.

Anyway..........I called the clinic this morning to see if they are doing a scan tomorrow when I have a BT. They said no I am not booked in. They will see what my levels are like and then my FS will decide if I need a scan. So I asked what my levels were. She started asking me why I was being monitored and said that my FS knows my levels and will let me know when i need to do an u/s or have another BT. Surely it is my right to know what my levels are and to have an understanding of what levels are considered low or what levels I need for o????????????????????????? She finally gave me my levels and of course they don't really mean anything to me although she said that you need an estrogen level of about 600 for o and I was at 83 on Saturday so pretty low. But I feel like I need to know this information.

Then I asked if they have clinics in Qld because we are thinking about going away in April to visit DH's brother. I explained that I didn't want to be away if I couldn't be tested and her answer was I'm sure we could do something - WTF does that mean!!!!! So now I don't know whether I should book the flights or not! Someone help! Deb do you know if I can be tested somewhere in QLD. We will be on the gold coast. I am pretty positive that I will be UTD by April, but I just want to be prepared!

hey Lynn,
I am not sure if you could be tested in QLD, but I would think that your clinic would have been able to sort something for you. I just wanted to say that I am loving your positive attitude, and I too think you will be UTD by April, we all will. :D

Good morning gorgeous ones!!!

Firstly Chelle - I am so very very happy that you are here again my love. I have wondered after you a lot and haven't seen you "around" much. Welcome and I am sure you will be supported through your journey in here by some very special women...
Are you on clomid this cycle Chelle? If you are on cd13 I would be using that OPK today!

Lynn, it is possible due to the increase in hormone activity that this is why you would be getting high temps. One more sleep to go and its FS TIME!!!!! I am sending you every positive thought I can my love. It was a huge day for you yesterday - you have such courage to go alone. I hope you are okay... :hug:

Nat: I have been thinking of you and your family... :hugs:

Mel: I am hoping for you that THIS is it! It's just a tad early to begin the test fest lovey so hang on there for a while!!!! That would have been hard to hear on your first day at work... :hugs:

Spring: Big belly rubs to you. I am glad things are peaceful at the moment on the family front...

Me, well I am getting lots of twinges and aches in my lower belly - I think my "girls" had a shallacking this cycle!!! Getting up to the loo a few times a night which indicates that the progesterone levels have gone up - so let's hope they are showing a good level and that the clomid has worked it's magic.
My two little girls and I have been working in the garden today - a bit of an Autumn clean up we are having here!!!! We have had so much rain that everything is just growing out of control. Our chookies haven't produced an egg yet - so I had a little chat to them ;).

I hope you are all having a great day.

Sorry Lynn,
I had half written my post earlier this morning and completed it now when I came in for lunch. I didn't see your most recent post... :hugs:

It IS your right to know your levels. In fact it is your responsibility to know as much as you can about what it all means. 83 does indicate that ovulation is a way off - to be expected on cd9 in a woman who ovulates later I would think ... I get very annoyed with health care professionals that don't want to divulge information. Having said that it can be a tricky position for a nurse as she/he really can't talk to you without having the consent of the overseeing obs. Perhaps this is why she was a bit cagey.

I would talk to your FS and ask for more information. Ask for the low down. Ask for what levels he wants to see and why. I would also ask that this information be provided to you when you phone for your results. Explain that you don't want a "it wasn't high enough" response - you want to know what it is. Even if it's not optimal that you will feel more comfortable with all the information.
It is your right as a health care consumer. I am imaging Lynn that when you get Wednesday's results (I assume you will receive them WEd pm) that will indicate the necessity or not for u/s. Usually when levels reach a certain point it will indicate that follicular maturation is occuring and they will have a look see on u/s.

Yes, you can have hormone tracking in Qld. Your obs/FS will nominate a path lab and write out the appropriate forms. It's not a problem - so don't worry too much about that one... :hug:

Thank you so much Deb. I didn't think it should be hard to find someone in Qld to take my blood. I will chat to my FS. DH will be happy to hear this as he really needs a holiday and would like me to book it but I told him I couldn't until I knew more about what my little ovaries are doing. Yes I will have my results by lunchtime tomorrow as I am going first thing in the morning to give blood. They can then let me know if I need an u/s. I hope the levels are a bit higher and we are getting closer :pray: Based on previous cycles I would say that it is probably a week away.

That is good to hear about your aches and going to the loo. For most people, going to the loo constantly is a pain, for us we love it because it is a good thing! Fingers crossed for you Deb. I hope your chookies sort themselves out - nothing like fresh eggs!

Hey Bailey - I have to be positive. I figure it can only help and being negative and stressed about it can only cause problems, so I am telling my brain, my ovaries and any other part of my body that wants to listen that we are going to get it right this month. You all probably think I am a complete nutcase! Sometimes I think I am too :p

Hi Girls

Lynn Cooper is so very proud of you and I am to, see how strong you are, to be able to face that on your own.......takes great strenght. Thank you so much for your card, I only went to the letter box late last night, so thank you for all your support.

Deb Sounds like good things happening! Im sending lots and lots of positive vibes for baby/s in progress......I cant wait!!!! Oh I so much want you girls to be all UTD so much:pray:

Spring You can call me Nat I would love that! I had such a great afternoon and it was so great to meet you, Im looking forward to our next talk fest.

Bailey OMG not the B word!!! thank god they cant sensor at home I would be voted out! It was great to meet you and put a face to our posts! I loved the "D almost H" not long now!

Mel Sorry yes its was yesterday and thank you. Im so proud of you holding it together like you did....it must have been so hard, but you to are so strong. Dont worry about the answer to that ladies question, sometimes it is so much easier to give that answer, we all know how much of a special mummy you are. It would be so great if you could try to come upto Sydney for a lunch and meet you.

Chelle and Jo Im so glad you can now start your journey of TTC I hope so very much that it is very short and sweet, with your babies crying and pooing soon!


Thank you girls for all your kind words and thoughts, you make it all so much of an easier road to walk. It was very sad but now I know my Nan & Pop are once again holding each other and dancing in heaven. In life we are so lucky to have a couple of good freinds but Im so extra lucky that I have such wonderful women like you and even though some you you I have not meet as yet, I feel such a strong bond. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

I will pop back later tonight, hope you all have a wonderful afternoon.

Nat xxx