TTC after Stillbirth/Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the 1st Trimester March 2007

Oh by the way Lynn if your a nutcase what am I? We are just normal women trying to get pregnant!!!! the rest of those women are nutcases:lol:

I agree, Nat!! Sometimes I do feel crazy though.............but when I think about it, I think I always have.

I had a little tear reading your post but it is so true for me too. I have some very special close friends but at the moment I just feel like I am closer to you girls because you know what I am feeling, thinking and going through. I was telling my mum last night about our long lunch and she said that she is so happy that I have found such wonderful supportive friends that are helping me through this.

My mum will be home in 1 hour and 15 mintues (but whos counting!) - yipee :dance: God I have so much to tell her - hope she didn't have any plans for tonight. I have had a big couple of weeks so I think it will be a quite emotional night telling her everything that has happened. I will also be telling her that she can't go on her overseas holiday in May because 5 weeks is too long for me :cry: No I would never be that selfish but I don't know what I am going to do - 10 days was bad enough. Maybe I have to go with her ;)

Lynn, then we may as well call this thread the nut-house, cos if you are mad, then you are in fantastic company, cos we must all be stark-raving bonkers!:cryinglaugh:

Lynn maybe when your mum is away we will have to do lunch once a week! oh and Bailey I think that could be a whole new thread.

Thanks Nat :hug: I think I will need it. But by May, I will be UTD so a whole new ballgame starts :rolleyes:

Bailey - love the new thread!!

Wow you gals can chat.

I have just read through them all and I will try to do personals later.

Well, I had a smidge of off colour CM today. Definately not blood but also not the normal, clear/creamy colour colour (sorry if TMI) Anyway, I feel surprisingly calm because I sat in the toilet and tried to listen to how I felt inside. It might sound like a peculiar thing to do, but I guess you could say I was listening for that inner voice. I feel fine, DH and I DTD on Sunday night which might be a cause but I have another OB appointment on Thursday.

The thing that gets to me is that if I was a normal pregnant woman, I probably wouldn't be analysing every piece of toilet paper like a maniac and wouldn't even have seen it. Can I join the nutcase club?

Be back later after a shower and some dinner.

Lv Spring

Dear Spring,

My FS nurse tells me to use mulitcoloured toilet paper and ware black undies! this way I wont notice anything, "it dont make no differance to me," I still manage to see the slightless change.........nutcase or what. Im so glad you stop to hear what your gut was saying, as we said the other day we always seem to know and see all is fine. Enjoy your shower and dinner im suppost to be typing stuff up for DS project and im here!:lol:

Hey Nat: If I used multicoloured toilet paper I bet I would convince myself I had multicoloured CM (lol)

Hope DS's assignment is going well. About Tasmania wasn't it?

Anyway, back to BL and sus out these newcomers.

Spring

OK BL has inspired me, Im over the project so I went for a run.......yes a run can someone send an ambulance to my house I think I need it. Not to sure what I was thinking but if the new chick can run like that then why cant I? Well I got out of cleaning up after dinner:lol:

I just want courtney to go home, DH thinks he's great just because of the trouble he causes, I just cant stand him.

Spring it is on Tassie, I...no he has to design a travel brochure, so far so good.

Here here about Courtney going home, he is such a 'Bailey word'.....

I can't believe the tantrum he is putting on. I really like the new guy Chris.

Anyway, I hope you have recovered from your run Nat, I am very impressed.

Big love
Spring

Nat - LOL at the ambulance comment! I hope you are ok! Good on you for going for a run. I went for a walk/run this morning because BL motivated me last night. I so want to lose 9kg in a week! Isn't Courtney a *****! He is so petty, doesn't he realise that the show is about weight loss??????

Spring - stop looking at the toilet paper!!!! I'm glad that you took the time to sit and listen to your belly (and probably heart). Everything will be fine when you see your ob and you will see lil Spring bouncing around :)

ooooooo I got censored too! I didn't realise you couldn't use that word - sorry everyone! Me bad!!!!

Spring - dnt be to impressed if you saw my face and how long it took my to recover...I need a personal trainer myself!

Courtney is very much a "Bailey word" I couldnt work out why he looked so strange at weigh ins then I relised he looks like a monkey!

We have a few rebels on our hands. Naughty naughty girls. I read your post Lynn and to be honest I don't even remember what word you used.

Anyway, I am off to bed. Got up at 5.10am this morning so I am totally exhausted.

I hope you talk with your mumma tonight was good Lynn. My mum just called and said she just wanted to say thanks for the wonderful news and that she has been walking around with a goofy smile on her face, very cute.

Anyway, I am really off to Bed now

Nighty ni
Spring

Lynn - well done on the censoring!!!:doh:

Oh Nat I just saw your post and couldn't help but reply. Could someone get that man some Nair!!!

Spring - That so cute, your mum must be just like you. Try to relax tomorrow and take it easy, whats with the 5am start? well you should get use to it for when bubs gets here (lol)

Lynn - Sorry you and I have posted at the same time. How was you mums holiday? did you have a good talk?

yeah sorry about that. I used the word - female dog iykwim. Sorry I didn't realise it was bad.

Spring - GO TO BED you need sleep! now I sound like your mum.

Nat - it is so good to have mum home. We didn't have a really long chat because their plane was late, so she came over briefly with dad. She is coming back tomorrow so I can tell her all about my eventful weeks.

Can you believe that I meant to set my clock for 6.25am and somehow managed to set both my alarm and my mobile for 5.10am???? God knows why but I figured that as I was awake I should go in to work and would just finish early. Well it didn't exactly work out and I ended up being there until my usual time.

So off to bed for this little chicken.

Wish I could hang around to chat but mummy Nat said to bed so off I go.

Sweet dreams
Spring

Spring - your mum is so cute! :) Sweet dreams babe.

Wow its been a busy day in here -

Spring - Stop looking at the toilet paper (easier said than done I know), everything is gonna be just fine. Congrats on being able to sit there and listen to your instincts, not an easy thing to do sometimes so I am impressed. How gorgeous is that your mum cant get the smile off her face, dont blame her really. It is so good you have been able to make them so happy... Sleep well :)

Lynn - Sorry to hear you have had those problems this morning, I guess it is hard for them to tell you your results over the phone. As you know I work for drs and technically we are not allowed to and can get in trouble for it. I know that doesnt make you feel any better, but just wanted to let you know she probably wasnt trying to be a b@@@@ (better not say it huh LOL). Best of luck with everything tomorrow, I will be thinking of you and hoping that you get the results you want, and need :hug:

Deb - Good news on the activities in your pelvis - fingers crossed they are good signs!

Nat - Well done on the run, I would need an ambulance too. Especially lately, I do nothing but sit on my big fat (_)(_)!

Bailey - Hope Nathan does the job of getting you and nearly DH in the mood, if we fail this month I will have to get you to pass it on - lets face it, they will be selling out pretty quickly LOL... oh and when you start that new thread, I will be in the VIP room :p

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all doing ok. Michelle and Clare, hope your little bubbas are doing perfectly in their mummy's bellies.

Well not much to report on this end... Worked again today, dont like this working business - I am stuffed and have a headache :doh: But that excuse wont fly, I think we still have 1 more night of TTC left - really over it by now (dont tell DH that, he thinks he is a stud when it gets to this time of the month). If anyone thinks we dont have to keep trying feel free to let me know LOL. The darn internet tells me we have to do it Wed night as well but bugger that for a joke, a girls gotta rest!

Anyway, sleep well all - I will check in tomorrow night.

Love Mel

Thanks Mel, I know what you mean about giving out the results. I guess I just want to be informed. Do you know if you have o'd? Are you temping?

No I wouldnt know how to temp if I tried, actually we dont even have a thermometer - we had one but it broke and havent got new one yet. I did get a positive OPK so I guess I can assume I have O'd but as we know that is not to say I will get UTD - god if only it was that simple :rolleyes: Time will tell I guess :pray:

Good luck tomorrow :crossfingers:

Well, well, aren't we a bunch of chaterboxe's??
Let me just start off by saying, when are we going to see the back of Munnalita and Courtney? I can't believe those two..what a pair of ME-words! And Spring when you said about the Nair, did you mean Courtney's shoulders? What is going on there? And I am sorry, but the nailpolish has to go too. Well, now that I have got that off my chest...

Lynn - Thanks for joining me on the censored list! Yay on your mum coming back. I would have to follow mine if she went away. That is great news on being able to get the BT's on QLD, you should go and have a break.

Spring - Look when we start the nuthouse, I thought we could have a special room for the toilet-paper-checkers. It would be just down the hall from the serial-HP-tester's. Lol, I am sure there are plenty of other rooms we could add. And most of us would need to visit one or two of them I am sure. Mel even wants her own VIP room! I am sure CM is just normal, stop all this BD'ing you and DH are doing, you don't need to use him anymore, he's done his job.Lol, sorry, just there are a couple of DH's out here that must be feeling a little used by now. Your mum sounds sweet.

Mel - I am certain we can set up your VIP room, lol we'll play Nathan CD's in there all day. Lol, my DP think's he is pretty studly too, he doesn't really understand the whole O thing, so he just thinks he's just really sexy and I can't get enough of him.

Nat - What is a 'run'? Never heard of those :) Good on you, I wish I could be inspired, but watching the biggest loser always makes me feel hungry?? Glad to hear yesterday went as wel as it could for you.

Deb - Yay on all the action going on in your belly. Hopefully everyone is getting along in there!

Well, according to my Ovulation calender i must start the Baby-dancing tommorrow, but I started rehersals last night just to make sure. So hopefully with all the lovin going on around us, surely at least one of us will catch the eggies. I have the support group tomorrow, I am hoping it isn't going to be as tough as the last one, because I was exhausted after it. But I think that meeting everyone and hearing their stories for the first time was probably the worst part. Don't get me wrong, it was really good to talk to everyone, but so so hard at the same time. Well, I think I am going to go to bed, there is a show on 9 at 10:30 called Shock Docs: When Surgical Tools Get Left Behind. I might see if I can stomach that. Good night gals.
:bluedust:

Mel - I do every second night when TTC that way you get a break! Im so glad you used symbols or may also have joined that special little club! I do so hope you get that eggie this month and I have to agree work it &*%$.

Bailey- shoulders I think he could use it all over! and with you on the nail polish even DS wants to know what going on there. Good luck tomorow hope all is good and not to hard for you. Is your friend going to?

Ive hang around here alot tonight and Ive just hit the wall......who was it that said exercise was good for you i feel like....oh better not, but you know what I mean!

Godnight sweet women sweetdreams and BDing and lots of :bluedust: to you all.

Luv and Hugs Nat xxx

wow! Im not sure if I can keep up with everything that is going on in here, Mel u crack me up, Im with u on the TTC! I got a positive OPK yesterday.. phew.. as I only had the one, and its like are we done yet, but I know we should dtd tonight and really tomorrow, just incase!!!
Bailey, Goodluck on catching that egg!
Spring angel, poor u! damn toilet paper!! wow, bet u gunna feel really knackered by the end of your day!!5.10am... snore..
Deb, thankyou for the lovely welcome! cant believe what u have been thru, my friends think Im mad still even trying, but after all the pain and hurt goes away(as best as it can, as it never goes away ) the strong urge to have another little bundle in my arms just takes over and I know I can go thru it all again, because I KNOW I will have a baby... just when!!, No they wont give me clomid, my FS told me that the tests on baby told them that it was perfect!! I came away mad as, felt like there was going to be no help from them. They want to see me in 8 weeks and basically said hope by then you are pregnant! hmmmmm well lets hope. My doctor even said I should really put a time on it now, as I cant keep doing this....O yes I can, and I will stop only when I know I cant physically go on, and my darling children cant take it any more. I know it is hurting them seeing me go thru the miscarriages and then all the after problems, it took so long in there minds....there were days I just couldnt get out of bed!My DS didnt know when he should or shouldnt call an ambulance due to the horrific infections and things.. DS has actually even said Mum, please dont try to have anymore... of course he dusnt know, and we dont really tell them, but then have to when the loss happens... such a pain...
O well enough of the chit chat, went on abit there ladies, sorry to rave on... and on...ha
O well swimming time, have to go cart kids...joy
Big Hi to all the ladies I have missed, It may take awhile to get around this busy little corner..
take care xx

Chelle, It is really hard when we find our babies were "perfect". I too have felt that anger. Sometimes the doctors seem so pleased - no chromosomal problems that have been detected. It somehow makes the pain even harder... I am sorry Chelle :hugs:

I hope that you surely are pregnant in 8 weeks with a beautiful, healthy sticky baby!

Spring: It is really common to have yellowish cm that starts to thicken up about now - it's due to the fluctuation in hormones. I am so proud of you for listening to your voice - that voice rarely lets us down if we just can trust. You are an amazing woman and I am sending you a big hug :hug:

Mel: I hope that you caught that egg this month :pray: Let's hope that in a couple of weeks we can celebrate some :bfp: together!!!

Bailey: Off you go and get jiggy with it!!!! Hoping that this is the month for you!

Lynn: Okay so about now I am thinking you are having your bloods taken - I am hoping so much for a lovely result Lynn. I will pop back in at lunch time to check on you my love.

Nat: Big hugs - I hope you are okay. Love the fitness regime!

I am fine - really busy at the moment I seem to have NO TIME! I hope this 2ww flys by. I must say I find the 2ww a REAL drag... As we all do!
I will pop back later.

Chelle - I know what you mean about being mad when you found out your baby was perfect. Cooper was so perfect when he was born at 37 weeks so it makes you so angry as to why they are taken from us.

Bailey - I hope the support group catch up went ok. Let us know how you got on. Love your nuthouse rooms! I'm sure we could add so many more. Shock docs?!?!?! I can't watch any medical shows especially one like that! Could you even imagine something like that happening. Do they not do a stocktake when they are finished to make sure they have all the tools!!!!!

Deb - I am glad that you are keeping yourself busy. It will seem like the 2ww will fly by then. Soon you will be announcing your BFP!!! :dance:

Well I had my BT this morning. So far no phone call, so I don't know what my results are. I also decided to have the flu injection today. I was sick twice when I was preg with Cooper and it was terrible. I was in bed for a week both times and I just don't want to do that again, so hopefully this will help. I can't believe I am actually asking for needles now!!!! Oh well, I am so used to them now.

I'll pop in later when I have my results - hoping for something closer to 600 :pray: and then I can join you all in :bd: How funny that we are all around the same time!

Some 'sort of' good news - my levels have gone up :clap: won't get too excited just yet but it is a start. Estrogen levels are 334. I am going back on Friday and will have an u/s as well so we can see what is going on. This is a little bit exciting! Might need to change the ticker - I might o earlier this month

I just have to share something with you all. My best friend is so sweet, she just made me cry, but happy tears. She has organised an easter hamper with easter eggs, a teddy and other stuff and is going to sell tickets through her work and all the money raised will be donated to the Stillbirth Foundation in loving memory of Cooper. I just burst into tears when she told me because I thought what a beautiful, thoughtful and touching thing to do. It is so nice when people do things in memory of our angels to show that they care :hug:

Hi Girls

Lynn Hope your blood test went well, and whats with the asking for injections!!! This could be another room.....I think I will be the room keeper in that one! I will pop back later to see how you went.

Chelle It is such a hard decision to know when enough is enough, I have had 13 miscarriages, so I know where you are at. What sort of test have the doctors done? 5 of my babies that went to 9 weeks were all found to be "perfect" but its not them its me, so I was just wondering if they have done more test then just chroms on the fetus. I say never give up until you can do no more........this is one place that will help you through anything.

Bailey How did today go? I hope you were able to find some comfort from today, Ive been thinking about you.

Deb Im glad your been "Flat out" it will help pass the time, nothing worse then that 2 week wait I think it would be good if we could go to sleep and wake up in two weeks no better still go to sleep wake up with a beautiful baby in arms. I doing OK just missing my Nan, knowing I just cant call her, but I know she is better off which makes it easier. Im praying so hard that you get a big BFP.:pray:

Mel and spring hope you are both doing good today, I do hope work for the both of you was not to hard today and everyone was kind to you.

If ive missed anyone hope your all good today. Jo if your around....Hi hope life is beening kind to you.

Nat xxx

Lynn you and I posted close, your friend is so beautiful. Great news on that blood test ......see this is going to be the month! Oh im getting very excited for all you girls. I think I will be the only one with no belly well baby belly!!!

Lynn,
That's great! By Friday we should be seeing some action with your "girls"!!!!!

It is exciting - it is acually really fascinating (well I find it so!) especially when they do a follie scan and you can see those nice ripe one/s there!

Nat, :hugs: I am sure you are missing your Nan - equally sure am I that she is peaceful and blissful right now watching over all of the ones she loves... That doesn't make you miss her any less I know... :hug: Thankyou for all of your support and good wishes and prayers. I am hoping too!!!!

Hi everyone else! Well I managed to get my DH ute bogged AGAIN! You see I am really a city girl indisguise!!! ;) Never mind the farmer down the road came with chains and tractor and we are out again! I have almost finished the big pruning/weeding/yard clear up!

Lynn: That is great news about your results. You must be glad that they are rising. I hope you O early this month, that will be so exciting. Also, what a wonderful friend you have. That is such a gorgeous constructive idea that will go to a cause very dear to our hearts. I'd love to buy a ticket or two.

Nat: I am sorry you are missing your Nan but you are right, she is at peace now. Have you recovered from your run? I hope so. As I said I am very impressed.

Mel: I'm with you on the work thing, it isn't really my cup of tea either. Oh well, just have to win the lotto and then I can commence my life as a lady of leisure (lol). Well glad the BD fest is almost over and a girl can get some rest. Heres hoping the 2ww flys by.

Flowerchild: LMAO about bogging the ute, that is a classic. I am glad that you were given a hand out. It must feel very satisfying give the yard a big clean up. How are you feeling during your 2ww?

Chelle: It must add a completely different element having to grieve with children to look after. My heart really goes out to you. Hope you are well.

Well just got home and going to try and fit a shower in before BL.

Be back later alligators.

Lv Spring

Hi all
Deb, with all this chitchat, im sure we will make the 2ww just fly on bye! xxx (Im nearly in it..hehee) LOL!!! you just crack me up, I almost can picture the ute thing and getting stuck! Have so done that and had to be pulled out by a farmer!!!
Lynn, wow, great levels, here is hoping for a great scan on friday..xing fingers for you. What a lovely thing your friend has done. Just beautiful....
Nat, yes they have done a few blood tests on me, checking me and hubby just in case something else cd have gone on in the past 3 years. They said my thyroid gland was a bit active or something, so have redone that and something else showed up, but im hopeless remembering stuff. Im sure I will take more notice when and if something else shows up...so its just the waiting game really, and in the meantime getting on with it! cd15 and POPK yesterday, so will keep BD till cd17! I agree with everyone else, while you will always miss your nan, you know she is in the best place watching over you now more than anything!!
Spring, yes can be hard sometimes with other children, specially when they are old enough to know stuff.Cant lie to a nearly 15 yr old!..Hope you and lil spring are doing ok, enjoy your shower... hmmm BL is on here at the moment, must go have alook and C if its the same one as yours..haha. you prob way ahead of us.. I loved the last one....
Take care everyone xx

Oh Nat - you will have your baby belly very soon :pray: Yes this is going to be my month!!! I can't wait!!!
It is hard when we lose a grandparent so I don't doubt that you are missing her so much, but she is at peace.

Deb - LMAO off at your ute story. I could just picture it! I remember when we first moved into our house, we built it so we just had dirt around it and because there weren't too many other houses around DH parked his van outside our bedroom window. Well it absolutely poured that night and the next day his van was so bogged! Being a man he couldn't ask for help so he tried for hours and hours until eventually he realised he couldn't get it out so he called a tow-truck who got him out in minutes!

Chelle - good luck for you, I hope you catch the eggies :crossfingers:

Hi to everyone else

Hi everybody! (Mel, I know in your head you are saying 'Hi Dr Nick") Lol
Wow, a couple of hours gone and you lot have filled up a page or two.

Lynn - Yay on your levels rising. By friday you should have lotsa eggs getting ready to mingle with your DH's little guys. This will be your month, all of your positivity will pay off I bet. Your friend is great. What a beautiful thing for her to do.

Well support group today was good, well as good as it can be. It wasn't as sad as last time, I guess because we had already told our stories which is the hard part. Though everybody brought in photo's today and that was quite hard. I didn't take mine, I am still a bit funny about showing Asha's pictures, they feel too personal. Maybe I will take them next time though. There was alot of talk on future pregnancies this time and different emotions that will come up during this time, so that was really interesting. I am not sure if anyone else in interested, but Sids and Kids is holding a one day Seminar on dealing with grief after a stillbirth. It is in June and partners and grandparents can attend. I can send you guys some flyers if interested.

Bailey - the support group sounded interesting today. Don't worry if you don't feel comfortable about showing Asha's pictures. As you know Cooper's pictures are for me and DH only because we too feel they are too personal. What ever you feel comfortable with. I might come along to the next meeting - let me know when it is on. Can I join in even if you have had 2 meetings already? I would love some info on the one day seminar. I will grab it off you when we next catch up.