TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

Nat - you think your brain is like a sieve, what about me? I totally forgot that you were going with your friend today and you only told me yesterday :rolleyes: I am so sorry that I didn't ask how it went and ask how you were going.

You are such a wonderful and caring person and I know it would have been hard on you today. You are such a good friend and I know she would have appreciated you going with her. I am so sorry that the news is not good for her. I know that you will help her through the painful journey. I hope you get your answers when you see your dr next week. Fingers crossed for you that it all goes well :hugs:

Deb - I hope your DH is home in time for the big day. I hope you are feeling a little bit better. Take care and get some rest :hug:

Hi ladies, I hope you are all well.

Kerry - I hope you are feeling a little better. I suppress everything too which but I have decided not to anymore...better out than in. I know it's hard not having seen your babies. I didn't see my little girl, but that was my choice. I regret that now, but I think I just did what I was capable of at the time. Everything you said does make sense.

Lynn - Thanks so much for understanding what I meant. I so didn't want it to come off sounding wrong. Thanks for the pink dust! I am proud of you for putting Coopers name on your sisters card. I think it's really brave. I hope I will be able to do that. That sucks about the fasting that they didn't tell you about...so more BT's tommorrow. You must feel like a pin cushion! I hope this next AF is your last one for a year or so :)

Flowerchild - Sinisitus sucks! I've only had it a couple of times, but I hate it. I hope you are feeling better. Good luck with the twins. We joke that I may get twins next time cos they are in DH's family. I wouldn't mind some double trouble either!

Hi to Mel, Spring, Dream, Tess and Mish...I hope you're all well. Hope I didn't forget anyone.

Well I had the Sids and Kids Stillbirth Support group meeting today, and it was so hard. It was good, and I am glad I went, but it can be so overwelming to hear everones stories first hand. I was so sad! I think I cried for two hours straight, everyone did. The next meeting is in 4 weeks, and I would recommend it to any of the Sydney girls. Also, for Spring, they have a Subsequent pregnancy support group too. It was different to what I expected, there was a counseler there, but she really just sat back and listened while we all talked. If anyone needs the number to book into the next meeting let me know.

Thanks Bailey for the info on the support group. If you think it was worth going, I might come to the next one with you. Do I have to register and be approved? Do you know what I need to do?

I am so happy to hear that you are ready to talk about Asha. We all have regrets but we make what we think is the best decision at the time.

Good morning my lovelies,
I am still a bit under the weather. However, I have a HUGE day today and won't be around much. I have to make the big trek to the coast (it's only 40 minutes but it's very busy down there when you live in the middle of a dairy farm!!!).
I will be back tomorrow.
:hug:

Hi Everyone

Deb Oh how our lives revolve around our eggs! I do hope DH is back in time and the twins are on there way!!!!! Europe..... not to bad hay, maybe next time he will need an assistant and you could go and make a French Baby. Good luck with the trip into town hope none of those city people capture you. Are you in the hinterland? Im very jealous its all very pretty around there and much less hectic then here in Sydney. I glad your feeling better, take care of yourself. I didnt see that artical I must get a copy, I dont read mags like that very often only when at the doctors! I think this was the girl who saw him just after me about 16mths ago (I had just miscarried) If I dont find it could you sed me a copy of it? Just a note with clexcane, if you do IVF they start you on it just after O, I started last month at this time, DrS said if I did IVF this is when he would start me on it but since I was not under close supervision to wait till +hpk, I told him I montior myself anyway and he said I know what you will do!!! ask ob what his thoughts are on this. I didnt do apsrin till +hpk. Thank you for your kind words, maybe we go through what we do so we can help others....I dont know but if some good could come out of what we have all been though then that would be something.

Lynn The little pin cushion, how are you? did they take your blood today? Thank you also for your kind words as I said to Deb, I think we all here would do the same. After all we are very special mummies.........our angels help us to be strong and help others which in turn also helps us heel.

Bailey Im so glad that the support group was so helpful, sometimes crying with strangers is easier then turning to our loved ones, we think we have to be strong and dont want to make them upset, but when someone else is in the same situation it make it easier to open up. and talking helps so much in the heeling process. Im sorry I missed meeting you the other day but Im sure we will catch up again SOON!

To you other beautiful girls I hope your day is good to you and I will pop back in later to see if anyone else has been around. :grouphug:

Deb I love the verse on the bottom of you signature. So So true.

Hello ladies, I've been away from computer access for a day or so and also have had to spend a lot of time catching up on all the goss! Sounds like there is a lot happening at the moment between testing, BDing, planning for BDing and support groups - good luck to all this month!

I'm at work as usual so just a quicky, but the hubby is home and has fixed the internet connect (hate feeling like a hopeless woman but i couldn't work it out!) so will send more personal replies from home. Briefly though:

Lynn I'm so glad you're getting on track with sorting everything out, knowledge is power and it's always great to feel you have some control over what's happening - in a field where that's often really hard!

Spring and Scarlet - thanks for your advice, it was absolutely spot on - I have tried the subtle approach before but when you're worried that every day you miss could be important it's terrible to get a knock back!!

Deb hope you are feeling well and survive the trip to the coast!! You are in the sunshine coast hinterland though aren't you? At least it's not as bad as the gold coast - I tend to avoid that place like the plague. Can I ask who Dr S is? Think I missed something there....

Nat I just wish that I had a friend with me who truly understood when I was going through m/c's previously, it must be hard for you as well but you are doing a wonderful thing by being there for her. I wanted to catch up with you for a chat since my initial post when you asked about medications etc seeing as you mentioned also having a similar background..

Just briefly, the hubby made it back for CD13 at least, so unless it's happened earlier we'll wait and see! Even though he'd been up for 20 hours he was a great sport this month - helped that he got attacked early in the night rather than when we went to bed though :) I'm away all next week travelling for work so it's going to be a busy few days between now and then......

Just a quick question - after taking low dose aspirin last year and having two miscarriages while taking it - I've sort of given up on the idea, but I'm not sure if I should continue with it. It's the type of question that if I ask the doctor/s I get 'it can't hurt', but if it's not stopping them I don't really want to take it - any opinions?

Hey everyone, hope you are all well.

Deb - hope the city trip was good. I'm glad that you are feeling a little bit better today.

Mish - good luck with your BFP this month :crossfingers:

Nat - I feel the same way as you, if I can help others then it is helping me. I just wish there weren't so many people going through this - why is life so cruel and unfair. Did you see on the news about Anna Nicole Smith - high on drugs while pg...............I'll say no more!!!! Other than, why me? But I know you all feel like why me because we all did the right thing. No-one deserves to lose their baby no matter what the situation is but it just seems so unfair that people who look after themselves and their babies, lose them. Anyway that is my vent for today.

Yes I am a little pin cushion, aren't I!!! Well they finally took my blood, 10 vials mind you. Don't they say it is good to give blood because your body produces new blood??? Well that is what I am telling myself that after all of this blood giving I am doing something good. After I gave all that blood, I thought I deserved to go shopping so I met my mum at the shops and bought some new clothes, a teddy to donate to TLC and a 'C' keyring.

I am feeling a bit nauseous today, not sure if it is because of the pending arrival of the wicked witch or the metformin or because I have no blood - I don't know! Anyway I really need to clean the house so that is what I am going to do to take my mind off things - what fun.

I have read through all your posts but sorry, I just am too exhausted to do personals at the moment.

I had my first appointment with the Psychiatrist this morning and after two heart wrenching hours he said that I Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It all makes sense now, the high levels of anxiety, the high BP, bad dreams, disturbed sleep, flashbacks and constant feeling of exposure are apparently textbook PTSD. He doesn't believe in medicating (which I wouldn't do even if he did believe it in) so we are going to work on it so that I can get through this pregnancy and get some sense of normality back. Turns out he lost a child at full term 36 years ago so even though he looked 100 years old, I felt really comfortable with him. We talked about what triggers my anxiety and he explained what happens to your body physically when you are suffering from PTSD. I feel validated in some ways and happy that I am finally going to get some help. At the same time I feel like this is yet another thing to have to cope with but I know I have to do it.

Well after a big cry I need a big sleep on the couch so I'll pop in later to do personals.

Thanks for listening.

Luv Spring

Just a very quick one have to do parcel pick up!

Mish DrS is one very wonderful Dr Gavin Sacks who knows almost everthing about NK cells and recurrent miscarriage. As far as asprin, two schools of thought if you have had recurrent miscarriage and have a tendancy to clot then yes you should be on it and it can't hurt, I take asprin only once I have a +hpk BUT I also inject clexcane from O, which is a blood thinning medication which really needs to be watch. If you bruse easy and if you were to cut yourself or have an accident you could bleed to death so it is very important to weight up all risks and benfits.

When I get back later this afternoon if you want more info just post and we can talk later.

Anyway Im off, will post later.

P.S Spring Im so glad you found someone who can help, he sounds wonderful! Hope you enjoy your nap....wish it was me.

Lynn - Elite athletes, who aren't quite as elite as they would like to be, often 'give blood' prior to competition, becuase when your body replaces the blood you get a nice energy boost.. I'm not sure how true it is but Flowerchild will know. (I think?)... glad your testing is over for now and sending vibes for answers, sometimes a bad answer is acutally a good outcome, because it leads to fixing what is wrong. Oh and well done for putting Cooper on the card, what a beautiful thing.

Spring - I am so happy you have found someone who can help. Oh and I love that he isn't into drug pushing. Not that drugs don't have their place in medicine, but it is so refreshing to hear of doctors willing to take the 'hard' approach over the quick fix. Hope you enjoyed your sleep.

Hello there - sneaking in another post when I'm meant to be working!

Lynn I've also heard that giving blood is supposed to be a healthy thing to do in terms of regenerating fresh blood cells - but please take it easy cleaning the house, 10 vials isn't a small amount if you are already feeling nauseous!! If I were you I would use it as an excellent excuse NOT to clean the house! Thanks for the good luck with a BFP, not feeling overly confident with our start date due to my newly shortened cycle but what do you do?

Spring it sounds like you have had a very emotional day, and I hope this lovely gent is going to be just the trick to help you manage - he sounds like he will know where you are coming from. I think it's not so surprising that it's PTSD, the emotional load everyone on this forum bears is incredible and just confirms how amazing and strong women can be - I don't know you terribly well, but for someone who has just been diagnosed with PTSD you amaze me with your continued life and spirit on the forum and I think you deserve for this pregnancy to go perfectly.

Nat thanks for the feedback, is Dr S based in QLD by any chance??!! I did come back negative for tests regarding clotting factors, however my o neg blood type with the hubby being o pos does concern me - I've been shot full of anti-D in the past but still..Probably not worth attempting what they have you on but I might go back on the aspirin just in case. I've also just signed up for the herbal treatment at Sharkeys - prepared to give anything a go right now. Would love to chat to you further about it, have people over for dinner tonight ( my hubby cooks a lot so I count myself very lucky!) but will jump on later this evening and see if you are still up - if not would really like to catch up soon...

Hello to everyone else and sending good vibes - Kerry I don't think I've chatted much to you yet, but have a read a few of your posts and hope to get to know you better...

If anyone would like a laugh - I think I'm up for the true blue aussie award after the other night, was woken up in the early hours by our resident possum literally spread eagled on my window screen hissing into my bedroom. Very unhappy with him playing batman at 4am, I threw my pillow at the window - after which he sat in the tree outside the open window and continued hissing - so, there I am at 4.30 in the morning in nothing but a bath towel, on my back deck, throwing thongs at a possum in a gum tree!!! Hubby being away is more than just a problem for BDing apparently!!:cryinglaugh:

Spring - babe I hope you are ok. If you need to talk, you know where I am. I am so glad that you have spoken to him and that he is going to work through this with you during your pg. It is good to feel comfortable with someone that you are sharing such personal feelings and information. Sometimes a cry on your own is what you need but if you need a cry with someone, you know I am just around the corner and can come over for a cry with you. Let me know how you are going tonight if you can. If you are still sleeping, I understand as you have had a big emotional day. Thinking of you and sending you a HUGE :hug:

Jo - I wouldn't call myself an elite athlete!! But I don't think I had energy after I gave blood. Maybe I did, I did clean the house for hours and hours! I agree with what you have said about bad answers but they can be good because it means I can start to fix the problem. I was only saying to DH last night that I am prepared for AF and I don't think I will be disappointed this month because I know that I haven't o'd and therefore can't be pg. I just want it to hurry up and arrive so I can start on next month which is hopefully my month! I thought putting Cooper on my sisters card was the right thing to do and I felt really strong and in a way proud to include my son as part of our family. But when I told DH about it, he told me that I shouldn't have done it. I was too upset with him to get him to explain why so we haven't spoken about it since. I just think that it was the right thing for me. I include my dogs too as they are part of my family - is that wrong too?????

Mish - I agree, 10 vials isn't a small amount! Especially when you see the tray full of vials with your blood. Being nauseous would have been a good excuse to not clean the house but it really needed it. It is done now so I am happy. What a funny story - is the possum ok???? I hope you got your thongs back!

Deb - hope you survived the trip to the city and are feeling a little bit better today.

Hi to everyone else.

Just a quick one for all you animal lovers - I deliberately threw rubber thongs so I wouldnt hurt him - plus I'm a terrible shot so I think I annoyed him into going away rather than hurt him! However - if anyone can suggest a humane way of encouraging him to take up residence elsewhere I would love to hear it! :wall:

Hi everyone,

Jo - I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Thanks for the email, I will reply to that seperately. It is awful that you have been going through all of this on your own and bottling it up inside, I really do think letting it all out (even if it is just to us gals) is a very good outlet for your emotions. I also have no idea what it is like as a single mum, I am sure it is hard to find time for yourself but you should try... you deserve it :hug:

Spring - :hugs: for you today. It is great that you have found someone who not only is sensitive and kind but also has some insight into what you are going through because of his own sadness over his child. While I understand that you feel like this is just another thing you have to deal with, in a way I really think its a good thing that it has been diagnosed. You would have been going through it anyway, whether you know what is wrong or not, and I think it can only make it easier to know that something IS wrong rather than you are just going "nuts". I hope you have a nice sleep and feel a little better when you wake.

Lynn - Ya poor bugger! 10 vials? I thought I had alot and I didnt have that much. I am so happy you have found someone to help you and while as you say it is not possible this month I am so keeping my fingers crossed for you next month! By the way, well done on your house work - mine is disgustingly in need of it!

Nat - Hope you are well - How is your friend?

Deb - Hope you feel better soon :)

Bailey - So glad that you found the sids and kids meeting ok, I have been thinking of going to one in Melbourne but am really nervous about it cause I know I will ball and I hate balling in front of people. Did you find that hard? Or did you not even think about it? Were any Dads there? I would like DH to go cause I dont know anyone else who could go with me cause they have lost babies but he wouldnt go if he was gonna be the only guy.

MIsh - Fingers crossed for this month.

Hi to everyone I have missed.

My friend who moved to Brisbane has downloaded MSN messenger so I am chatting to her online, YAY... I have missed talking to her every day :(

Mel

P.S. Mish - too funny about the possum story, lets hope your neighbours arent night owls

Hey Mel - how are you feeling about this month? I know that last month you thought you had it, any feelings on this one? I hope so much that it is BFP.

Hey Lynn,

I have to admit I don't hold out too much hope for this month, I am feeling nothing. No change in CM although I dont know if I would yet. I am gonna try really hard not to let myself be too sure this time cause I cant handle that disappointment again next month. I am worried we have stuffed up though, because I was DUE to O on Sunday we were meant to BD Fri-Wed nights and we did it every day but it got to last night which was our last night and neither of us could be bothered. I know that sounds awful, we are married and should want to do it and we do but every night starts to wear thin after a few, especially when you just want to sleep, so we didnt do it. I am now really worried that I have lost my chance :( Plus I didnt get a positive O test and tested all the way through from friday to mon (or tues cant remember) but nothing. So I dont even know if and when I O'd.

I am hoping that it is this month though, I am less stressed after quiting my job (to be honest couldnt care less about work now, I go in do my work and come home and think well its not my problem I am leaving). If it doesnt work this month I dont know what is wrong, I got pg 1st time so easily so dont understand what the problem is now. Surely it cant be all working and then all of a sudden stop working?

Anyway, how are you feeling tonight? A little less nauseous?

Hey gals

Well I didn't sleep a wink this arvo but managed to do the washing, groceries, vacuming and wash the dogs so at least I was productive. I still feel very confused about everything we talked about today. I just spent ages debriefing with DH so all in all it has been an exhausting day. Spoke with Mum too, I haven't told her yet because I don't want them to worry any more about me but once I am getting a bit better I will tell her and dad.

Lynn: I don't know if they told you when you were giving blood but it is to be expected that you would feel nauseous. It can take up to 24 hours for the blood to regenerate and from the sounds of it you have given a stack. I hope you are feeling better, I know how cleaning can make you feel better but make sure you take it easy. About writing Cooper's name on the card, I write from the ....... family. (sorry, don't want to use my real name but you know it anyway) That way I feel like I have included Harry and my dogs also. Just a thought. I hope you and DH aren't too upset about it all.

Mel: I'm so glad your mate in Brissy is online. I know how much you miss her so that is a really nice thing that you can keep in touch. I have everything crossed for a bfp for you on the 5th. I know how hard that day is going to be for you with Nicholas' anniversary so I am sending you every little bit of :bluedust: I can muster.

Dream: How are you honey. I have been thinking about you and your friend. I hope she is ok and that you are ok supporting her. Take care babe.

Mish: LMAO about the thongs and the possum. I used to live in North Queensland and the amount of restless nights I had due to stupid possums! They sound like someone is running on your roof which is freaky. I don't know any tricks to get rid of them but I know there are people who humanley catch and release them. Worth a try if the possum hangs around. Also, thanks so much for your kind words about my diagnosis today. It really touched me.

Flowerchild: How was your trip to the big smoke? I am so envious of you living on a dariy farm, what a wonderful life. I hope you are feeling better today and that the sinus problem is easing. DH gets terrible hay fever and it knocks him out when he gets a bad dose.

Bailey: Wow, what an emotional day going to the SIDs meeting. I just want to reach through the computer and give you and your friend a bit :hugs: Thanks also for letting me know about the subsequent pregnancy support. I don't think I am ready for that just yet but I can see in the future that it would be really great.

Jo: yes I agree with you, medication has a place but not as a first resort. I realised today just how affected I have been so I guess it is a step forward. I was so tough going through everything again but I know it was worth it. How are you babe?

Well to anyone who I've missed I hope you are well. DH will be home tomorrow night so I am really looking forward to seeing him. This week feels like it has flown by. He told me tonight he won't be able to come home next weekend which is a bummer but at least I know in advance and don't get my hopes up too much.

MAJOR TISSUE ALERT

Well my closest friend sent me an email today saying she spent a restless night last night thinking about me and Harry so she got up and wrote a poem, I thought I would share it but I warn it is a big tear jearker so don't read on if it is too much for you at the moment. It goes


Their lips on your forehead, your hand in their hand
Their treasured moments, with their strong little man
Their hearts beat for you, the tears that they cry
Yearning for you, your laugh and your cry

As time moves forward, their love stays as strong
As you watch over them, for their happiness you long
They are your parents, your proud Mum and Dad
They made sure you knew love, and that you never felt sad
You are already a son, will be a brother one day
You know their love will remain, but hope their tears fade away

Child of my friend, I love and miss you
Think of you always, and yearn for you too
But nothing compares, to the feelings so strong
Of your wonderful parents, for you they do long
But know that we all wish you were able to stay
And share every moment, of every day

But you have moved on, to where we don’t know
Yet we know you are near, and we all love you so
So know you will stay, in our hearts and our minds
As will your proud parents, no matter distance or time
And now I will leave you, and kiss you goodnight
As in my dreams, you will always shine bright.

Well on that note and through my tears I think it is time for a big :grouphug:

Sweet dreams my wonderful friends.

Luv Spring

Hey Mel

I know what you mean about the bding issue. We kept going and going (ok maybe TMI) because we didn't know when I would O. It sounds really sad but it does become a chore but hopefully at the end of it you will have a BFP and then you can go back to bding when you want to ;) We had a few nights where we were too tired or DH got home really late and I was so angry with myself the next day because I kept thinking what if that was the day.............as it turns out none of them were the day this month :rolleyes:

Maybe you can have a prog test to see if you have o'd. Do you keep your temp? My temp still hasn't gone up :confused:

I can't really help you as to why the first time it was easy and now it is difficult. I have always found it difficult but was hoping that after a pg it would be easier - not the case! Aren't you having some tests done if you don't get it this month? I hope you do get your BFP and don't have to go through all the test but if you do at least you will know what is going on and can start a plan. While I am disappointed that I am not pg yet at least now I know I am not o'ing so I need a bit of help and hopefully I will have this next month and get my BFP :pray:

Thanks for asking - yes I am feeling better tonight. The nauseous has gone which is good. I think it is the new meds I am taking.

Hi Everyone,

Lynn - aka Pincushion! Just think of all of those vials of blood maybe as pieces to a puzzle that the docs can try to solve, and in the end there will be a BFP! It's great that you have been so pro-active in trying to get some results.What you said about the regrets we all have, I know you have a couple too, but I have been thinking about it today and I have decided that our bubs know that everything we did and do is what we can do at the time, and they would hate us to be sad about decisions we made under such circumstanced, so I am really going to try not to beat myself up about it anymore.
I think the support group was good, as I said, it really was just a group of us sitting around and talking. It was like us last week, just abit more formal. I will find the numbers for you and email them to you tonight. I think you do have to call them and let them know that you are coming.

Dream - So right on it being easier to talk to strangers. I think you can really say how you feel without the worry of upsetting loved ones. And especially to people that can really understand. I really hope you can catch up with us all next time.

Mish - Glad to hear that DH made it back in time. Fingers crossed for you. I also hope that possum gives you a break tonight :)

Spring - I am glad to hear that you are feeling good about getting some help. I know it must be stressful for you to be UTD, but keep that goal in your sights. You are almost a quarter of the way through (even more if that doc takes Lil Spring earlier!!) Not long to go till you get that bubs in your arms. hope you are feeling better after your couch kip. Is hubby back this weekend?

Flowerchild - I hope you are feeling better!

Mel - I am not really a talker, but I found that talking at the support group was quite natural beacause you know that everyone in that room understands what you have been through. I was worried about bawling too, but I pretty much started as soon as I walked in the room, and then hearing about everyone elses bubs, i don't think i stopped the whole 2 hours. I was nervous about crying at first, but everyone is. And really, if you can't cry in front of these women, who can you cry in front of? I walked out with a throbbing headache, but at the same time it felt like I had purged a lot of built up stress and emotion that I had been holding in. The rest of the day, I felt down, thinking about Asha as well as the other babies, but I am glad I did it today. I think that you should go, you don't have to talk, you can leave when you want and you don't have to go back if it's not for you. I never thought I was the type to go to something like that, but I have decided I am going to give myself every chance I have to get through this. There was also alot of talk about TTC the next one. So that was interesting too. There was one man there, and it was great to hear his side, he was very open and expressive. I know my DP would never go to it though, he is one of those that hold's it in for my sake - or so he thinks. He usually goes surfing or mows the lawn or something when he feels sad. As I said, it may not be for everyone, but I didn't think it was for me either, but I am glad I went, and I will be going to the next one.

Hi to everyone else too!:hello:

Wow, Lynn, Bailey and Mel I think we all posted at the same time.

Mel: Don't give up hope just yet, I know it is frustrating but it ain't over until the witch shows up.

Lynn: So glad you are feeling better.

Bailey: I feel like I have been crying all day also. It is very hard but I think what you said about purging is so right. I hope you are feeling that the weight on your shoulders has lifted, if only a little.

Well now that you are all here I'll stick around for a while longer. Just hang the washing out first and be back.

Luv Spring

Spring - We must have been posting at the same time. That poem was beautiful - well at least the part I managed to get through. I will read the rest later.

Spring - That poem is just beautiful, you have a very special friend there. Thank you for sharing it with us. I hope you are feeling ok and it must be so nice to know that DH is coming home very soon.

Bailey - you are so right about our regrets. I think I will try to be like you and not beat myself up about it anymore. We did what we thought was best at the time.

Nat - how are you babe? How is your friend going? I hope everything works out.

Thanks guys, it took me about 3 goes to read through it but I am touched that she put her thoughts into words.

Actually it reminds me, I am always talking about you girls to my friend and mentioned that your angel babies had websites. I mentioned Cooper and Nicholas' sites and my friend asked if she had your permission to vist them. I said I would ask first because I didn't know if it would be ok to send her the links. No pressure if you don't want her to. She just said that she has heard so much about you and feels like she knows you. She is always asking how you all are so don't think that she is being a nosey body, she genuinely cares about you even if you have never met you.

Oh well, it really is nighty ni from me.

Luv Spring

Spring - that has really touched me to know that your friend wants to look at Cooper's website. Of course she can. You know how much it means to me for Cooper to be acknowledged and if that is by someone wanting to look at his site, then I would love them to. For me I like to show people things I have done in memory of Cooper because I can't show him to people, iykwim. I'm not sure if I have told you (and forgot to show you on Sunday) but I have had a ring made with Cooper's birthstone. I have tried to take a picture and put it on the website but it just comes out blurry. Oh well, next time I see you I will show you.
I'm going to sound like a mum now - but you had better get your rest because you and lil' Spring have had a big day and you need to take it easy. I hope you are feeling a little bit better after talking to your mum and DH and just think, one more sleep before DH gets home.

Spring, that poem was gorgeous. What a special friend you have...
Just to explain I don't live ON a dairy farm. Our land is bordered by a Dairy farm so the cows are at our fence (sometimes through our fence!). It is very idyllic and beautiful and I always feel incredibly lucky when I look out my windows to the "girls".
I am feeling much better - just a bit snuffly. Our trip to the coast was busy but I only had my Evie with me (nearly 3) and we had a girly time and it was lovely. Busy and traffic - listen to me Ilived in the inner city for 15 years of my life and now I am allergic to the traffic!!!!!!!

Lyn - I hope you have recovered from your trip to the pathologist - you poor love. :hug:

Nat - Thinking of you and your friend :hug:

Everyone else I am sorry but I just can't keep my cotton wool head together so I have to go and come back tomorrow. Love to you all :hug:

Spring - Oh that poem is beautiful :cry: What a lovely person she must be to have written that for you, thanks for sharing it cause I sort of feel like I could relate and hope that my friends would feel that same way. About Nicholas' website, I am more than happy for you to send a link to your friend. You know how much I love showing my boy off, but maybe just prepare her that there are photos on there. I do worry that people will be "shocked" - one of my friends (needless to say male) asked is he "dead (sorry hate that word but...) in that photo". I felt like saying, well what do you think einstein! Thanks for all the baby dust, I really think I need it :(

Lynn - I havent done temps cause I dont really understand it all, I have only used the OPK's. OB has given me a request form to have a test to see if I am Oing (?prog or not) which I have to have on CD22 which is next Monday I think, so I guess that will give some answers. It is hard to understand why it is so difficult isnt it? I keep trying to remember that we are only given what we can handle - but sometimes I just wanna yell at someone and say I cant handle anymore! BTW I agree with everyone else and think you should take it easy after you have all that blood taken - hope it has all rejuvenated tomorrow and that you get that energy burst... Mind you what will you do with all the energy, you have already cleaned the house LOL

Bailey - I know you were posting to Lynn but I totally agree with no regrets. Our bubs know we did all that we could or knew how and they rest in peace knowing that we loved them with all our hearts, now if only their mummies could learn to live in peace. Thanks for telling me about the sid n kids support group, I might give the Melb one a call and see when their meetings are. Sometimes I feel like I bottle things up, I really think this is my main outlet for my emotions which I do think is helpful though. But maybe a support group would help me even more, I would love DH to go and I think he would so I might chat with him about it. I am glad your head feels better today, and I hope your next meeting goes well also :hugs:

Deb - Being a Melbourne girl and travelling over the Westgate Bridge every day I totally understand that city allergy - I hate it!

Good morning lovelies - just a quick one as (yes again) I'm at work, and it's taken me ages to catch up just a little bit on all the conversation flying around last night!! Mel I know exactly how you feel about just not being up for it sometimes, even though you know you should - not sure if you saw my post about the hubby beginning to feel like nothing more than a donator!! I think sometimes it's ok to take a bit of pressure of ourselves and say not tonight - after all, sperm is reputed to live anywhere betweeen 2 and 5 days in our nice cosy environment :redface: , so missing one night shouldn't be a total disaster anyway!!

Hi to everyone - sounds like there have been a few very emotional days for everybody lately, hope you all have a lovely relaxing weekend and do something nice just for yourselves (if that happens to involve the DH then well and good!)

:p

OMG - A really good friend of mine, and one who came to Nicholas' funeral, just rang me and said her niece who was pregnant (she hadnt told me until today for fear of upsetting me) gave birth to twin boys at 23 and 1/2 weeks on Wednesday. She said that they were able to get 24 hours of steriods into her beforehand, but they both boys are critical and yesterday the heavier twins lungs collapsed earlier today but apparently they have stabilised him. They weigh only 750g and they smaller one is just a bit under that. They are apparently hooked up to all sort of tubes and machines and apparently no one can touch their skin cause it causes them to bleed. I feel so awful for them, I actually got teary when she was telling cause I keep thinking of these poor little babies and I just hope they arent suffering.

Does anyone know what kind of chances of survival for these little guys would be? It just sounds so ominous. It is so awful but after everything I have been through, it actually took me a while to figure out what to say. I kept saying I am so sorry, I am so sorry. Eventually all the right things came to mind but I really could kick myself now for my initial reaction.

Anyway, if anyone has any info on such premmie bubs I would appreciate your knowledge.

Mel :)

Mel,

I know that the survival of premie babies depends alot on there weigth anything over 550g is good, also so many different things come into play. it will be a touch and go time for least the next 6weeks. Infection is a big problem with small babies. I am sending all my prays to them.

As far as not knowing what to say this is so natural, I did the same thing with my girlfreind the other day, just being there for her would help her so much im sure. I am really sending all my prays and thoughts there way.:pray:

Thanks Nat, that is good to hear they in a good weight range for survival. All anyone can do is hope I guess. Even after what I have been through I cant imagine how tough it must be to watch your baby suffering so much, I dont think I could cope with that. Apparently they are not in pain, but still they have such a fight ahead of them - not a great welcome to the world really :(

Hi Mel - I am so sorry to hear that your niece has given birth to her twins so early. It is a good sign that they were able to breath when they were born, but as you say all you can do is hope and pray.

My baby was born at 24wks and unfortunately we did not have 24hrs for the steroids to work, we were told that if he could breath at birth he would spend the next 3-6mths in an incubator but his kidneys, brain and lungs were so under developed the chances of survival (and a healthy life) beyond 18mths of age were very slim. I am so sorry to be the bearer of bad news - but that is the worst case scenario and it is a good thing that they are of good weight and breathing at birth. I so hope things turn out good for her and the twins.

Thinking of you all - take care. T.

Mel I really hope your friends Niece's babies will be ok, I will also be sending hopes and prayers in their direction. I really don't know much about premmies, however it has been in the news recently with the little bub who was born at 21 weeks finally going home - have you seen any of the coverage? There was a photo of this tiny, tiny little foot in between mum or dad's fingers - truly amazing. Apparently following this case the medical association in America is going to revise their guideline which currently states babies born before 23 weeks aren't 'viable' as they so pleasantly put it. This little baby defied all the odds and maybe the twins will as well...

I don't think anyone really expects you to know what to say in that situation - I know whenever I've had to tell someone about yet another miscarriage I almost pray they won't say too much as usually we've heard it all before - telling someone you care and that you're there for them is enough...and good friends know that anyway... :)

Hi ladies
Just want to say that I hope you all get those healthy bubs in no time at all - I am not going to be posting in here for a long time as my hospital appointment today recommended we do not try for at least 6mths.

Just want to say thank you for your support over the last few weeks - it has been invaluable. I am sorry that I have not been able to provide support to you all in the same way.

T.

Tess I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better while you were here, if you want to come on and chat while you're waiting for those six months to pass please jump on! I've had to wait six months from the last miscarriage before starting again and while at the time I was nearly screaming in frustration at the delay, I find now I have a much better state of mind and am feeling emotionally stronger, so I hope this rest will give you the same..

Tess - just because you aren't TTC doesn't mean you shouldn't post here. I am not TTC, my DH and I are seperated atm, but I feel more comfortable in here than in the miscarriage and loss forum. The support the girls can offer you here is so good and they don't care if you aren't TTC... well at least I don't think they do, they haven't told me to bugger off yet.

Mel - OMG sweetie that is just awful. OK what I know about Premmies, sorry but just going to tell it how I know it... oh there is a premmie baby thread that you could try also.... being born at 24w and having the 24hrs of steroids are a bonus. Future health problems at 24w are likely to include, vision, breathing, cognitive development, motor skills, plus most organs... These little babies are likely to be in hospital, or in and out of hospital for at least the next 12 months and definately in there until their due date. That said 1 of my cousins was born at 24w after her mother's kidney's failed. She is now a perfectly healthy 27 year old who is engaged to be married and has no known adverse affects to her bumpy start... when she was born she fit into her father's palm, she was shorter than a can of coke and she weighed just over 400g. The oxygen tubes split the skin in her nose so it had to be sewn back together. She also needed surgury to create a bum hole as it hadn't fully developed yet. That said she has never needed glasses, she has never needed an asthma spray, she satrted school at 5, finished on time and did really well. She played rep level basketball... basically besides having asiatic eyes and being rather slim and having mild scars either side of her nose she is a perfectly 'norma' (whatever that is) woman. Besides that she is taller than me, and I am 5'9". Survival rates and complications are improving all the time.

Nat, Mish & Jo - Thanks so much to you all for the info you have shared. I really do hope that these little guys pull through. I guess the fact that they are stable at the moment is a good thing, isnt it just so awful to hear of these tiny little, innocent things suffering. I dont know the parents of these bubs, but I hate hearing about little ones suffering, what have any of these babies done to deserve this crap? Life is so cruel when there are not-so-nice people out there who get through life so easily (at least that is the way it appears).

Tess - I read your thread about your hospital visit today, I am so sorry they couldnt give you any answers as to why you lost your precious Thomas :hug: Thank you so much for sharing you experience with me, I have said before but again I am so sorry this has happened to you. In regards to not posting anymore, the decision is completely yours, but Jo is right just because you are not TTC does not in any way make you unwelcome :) Definitely take a break if that is what you need, but if you feel it will help you I think I can speak for everyone that we would all be pleased to see you around. If we dont hear from you take care of yourself.

Mel - I am so sorry to hear about the premmie babies. I hope they are strong and can fight through the next few weeks. I feel for the mother, father and the rest of the family and hope that these babies make it through for them.

Tess - You are more than welcome to stay if you wish. I started in this thread before I was ready TTC. If you need a break from here then I understand that. What ever you decide to do, please look after yourself and take care.

p.s. Jo - we could never tell you to bugger off - you are more than welcome to be here :hug:

Hi Girls


Tess If you feel you needa break then I can completly understand BUT please know that I to will not be TTC for about 5-6 months and am going to hang around so maybe you and I can hang together!;) We can be the ttc in the next 6months girlies!!! And just knowing you are there is support you do know that. Take care with what ever you decision and know we are all here for you. Im sorry that you did not get any answers about the loss of Thomas.

Im going out again tonight and would love nothing more then to jump into bed and sleep but family comitments so I will try and post late tonight for personals or tomorrow morning. Have a great night all Mel lots of love and prays your way fro the twins.

love and best to you all Nat.

p.s Lynn - Thank you my lovexxxx