TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

Hi everyone,

Lynn - I am glad to hear that today wasn't so bad. Your friends poem is beautiful and such a thoughtful thing to do. It's great you have friends that don't avoid talking about Cooper. I actually did another test today, I know that it is still too early, but it was just sitting there taunting me :) and of course it was a negative. I am on CD29 but my cycle is usually around 35 days....I used to think that was great, but not so great when TTC. So I will hold off on my testing until next week!

Spring - I hope your head cold goes and doesn't get any worse. It's horrible being sick when you are pregnant and you can't just takes lot's of drugs and knock yourself out.

Mel - Yay! One more day. You must be so happy. Sorry to hear about your BFN today, I got one too. I knew I would though, so I wasn't too upset. I am still too early to really test, but can't help it.

I hope everyone is well.

Bailey - Huge hugs sweety. Forgot to mention how adoreable your son's comments were. He will bring it up again from time to time and you and DH are doing the best possible thing by following his lead.

Lynn - I am such a dunderhead... I forgot to mention your friends poem, that is so truely beautiful.. what a blessing to have such a loving and caring friend, words to truely be cherished forever.

OK not sure how much I'll be around for the next few days. I have a sick DD atm. Nothing life threatening but my darling poppet broke her finger in a cupboard and not to do things by halves she then went and got an infection in the joint and we have had 2 trips to hospital and a sleepover since Sunday. I am at my dad's atm, supposedly to get some sleep while my little sisters watch her but they have put her to sleep and woken me up to cook their dinner, they are 21 and 19 by the way!

Jo - I am sorry that your DD is sick. I hope she gets better soon and I hope you can get some sleep. I bet you are a great big sister! Big sisters are the best and that includes cooking dinner ;) Don't worry about not mentioning my friends poem before. My brain is like a sieve and I am always forgetting things :rolleyes:

Bailey - of course you did another test!!! lol - you are in the test junkie club! Fingers crossed for you for next week. Wouldn't it be nice to get a BFP on Monday - bittersweet.

Hi girls
Just popping in to send my love to you all.
Lynn - I have sent you a little something today as a thankyou for making the bracelets for me. Sorry it has taken so long, but I have been waiting for it to be delivered from the USA. Hopefully you will have it by the end of next week. *MWAH*

Leabead - so sorry to here about the loss of your little man. We also lost our bubs at 16w3d, after miscarriage due to chromosomal abnormality. We were also told to wait, and "heal" My heart will never heal, my head is consumed with Max everyday, but we also knew we wanted another child and close in age to our DD. We tried again, the very next cycle and thankfully fell pregnant. I really hope that when the time is right for you, you have any easy TTC journey and an eventless pregnancy.

Mel - you sound like you are doing a little better. I am praying so hard that you get your BFP this month.

To everyone else, sending you all my love and hope you are doing ok.

I had my NT scan today, and everything is looking great. Bubs is measuring to date, HB is good and skin fold measurement is only 0.5mm! Still waiting for blood test results to find out risk factor of chromosomal abnormality but doc seems to think everything should be ok this time. :dance: Splodge is no longer a splodge, we have arms and legs!

Oh Clare I am so happy for you and your little bubba. :confetti: That is excellent news about your tests. I'm sure the BT will come back A ok. It is so great that you came in here to let us know how you are going. Spread some of your baby vibes around - we sure need it in here at the moment. I hope you are feeling ok and not picking any more grapes!!!!
Thank you so much for sending me a little gift but you really didn't need to. I was honoured to make you the bracelets. I'll let you know when I get it - thank you :hug:
I checked your website - are you going to update your photo of splodge?

Thanks Lynn
We only got given a paper print out photo this time, so I have to wait for DP to take it to work and scan it onto a disc. Hopefully he can do it tomorrow.

Hi to you all.

Sorry Jo about Brigid's finger :( The poor love...
It's really good to see you in here (I would rather none of us be in here - but you know what I mean:hug:)

LYnn: I am sooooo happy that the FS went so well. It's time for good news and I am so happy for you. YIPPPEEEEE It's gonna be fine my love.

Mel and Bailey: How are you both? I know it's POAS time for you and I have everything crossed.

I got my results HCG 15 and Progesterone 9. So I am about to bleed any time...

I must admit to not holding out a LOT of hope with an initial hcg of 47 - it is on the very low end of normal range so I was somewhat prepared. I know there are women who have gone on to have healthy babies with a low reading but the numbers weren't flash.
My obs (who I might add is turing out to be an ABSOLUTE gem) phoned and she thinks it is probable that this is due to my wonky luteal phase. Not being on the clomid I likely had a bit of a progesterone dip before implantation that can cause an interruption to development. Either that or of course just a little embryo that wasn't quite right.
Of course I am disappointed I WANT A BABY!!!!!!!! However, I can't change it I just have to keep on going. AT LEAST I know that the Fragmin is fine for me and that my fertility is in tact! I really wanted this one to be THE ONE but the Universe had other plans...
Next time will be THE time. Thankyou all for all of your loving kindness and support.

Oh Deb im so sorry :hugs: Keep your chin up and I love your optimism. It WILL happen soon, and we all know that.xxxx

Thanks Danni. Yes it will happen soon - I just want it NOW lol...

Oh Deb I am so sorry. I just don't know what to say.....but just know that I am thinking of you and while I wish that this could have been your time, I love your positive attitude that next time will be the time. I know that you want your baby now - don't we all. Stay strong and I'm sending you the biggest biggest hug :hug: Take care

Did anyone hear today about low-fat milk and infertility??????????????? OMG - what will be next!!! Researchers in the United States have found a link between a low-fat dairy diet and increased risk of infertility due to lack of ovulation.

Any thoughts anyone?????????????????? :dunno:

I saw that too Lynn - biochemically it does make sense. Will that alter your food choices?
Personally I only eat low fat milk - but I will be switching now... We need all the help we can get on this journey I think...

Oh Deb, I am so sorry for your loss but as you say maybe not this time but soon, very very very soon you will be holding another little baby. :hug:

Low fat milk (why I popped in today) - I have this think for full cream milk or soy milk and have only ever had one or the other, when it got hard to find non gm soy milk I just went back to the fat milk... It tastes nicer, and I have to skip so many foods I like, why can't I have naughty milk.

I drink low-fat milk mainly for the taste because full-fat tastes like cream to me. I don't eat a lot of dairy as I don't like cheese or yogurt but what about evap milk which I use the low-fat stuff in my cooking?

It just makes it so hard doesn't it. Trying to lose weight and control PCOS so eating low fat but now the issue with low-fat and infertility :wall:

I agree Deb - we need all the help we can get :hugs:

Have you read the book: "Nourishing Traditions". It's really interesting and talks a LOT about how low fat dairy foods really alters the structure of the food.

No I haven't....................very interesting. Might need to have a look at that.

Hope you are doing ok Deb. Thinking of you :hug:

I am doing okayLynn. I feel pretty crappy. Cramping and aching... I am expecting quite a heavy bleed with the anticoagulants on board...

I am just so sorry Deb. I know how much you wanted this baby (well you have wanted all your babies) but this one you had a good vibe. My heart just aches for you and my stomach feels..........yuck. I don't know I just feel for you and I wish I could do more. I hope the cramping and aching goes easy on you to make this journey a little less painful (if possible). Again I am so sorry and I am thinking of you. Take care :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Thanks Lynn. We all want those little Angels that have flown away. For me now I just need to accept this and be thankful that if it had to happen that it happened so early on.
Thankyou for being so kind and thouhtful. It makes the journey easier knowing I do it with all of the very exceptional women in here. :hug:

Flowerchild, I posted in the Pregnancy thread but I just wanted to bombard you with huge :hugs: over here as well. My heart is breaking for you, I am so sorry but as I have said before, the world has amazing plans for you, I just know it.

Clare: Fantastic news about the NT scan. I posed in the pregnancy thread to you.

Kerry: Ouch!! It sounds very hurtie to me. I hope that your DD recovers really quickly. Sending *get better* vibes your way. I hope you managed to get some rest to.

Mel: Woo Hoo no more work, well not until the 13th at least. Yippie, time to put those feet up and enjoy some 'me' time.

Lynn: Hi honey, how are you doing? My watermelon was great thanks. It is so nice this time of year.

A bit freaked out at the moment, got home and realised that the alarm had gone off during the day. Nothing is touched and I can't see any signs of someone trying to gain entry. I let both the dogs in to check the house with me and it is all clear. Still a bit worrying though. I asked the kids across the road and they said it went off for about 5 mins and then not again. I checked the memory and the tamper button flashes but none of the zones do. I think I will ring the agent tomorrow just to ask because it might mean a fault or flat battery. Luckily I have my big tough puppies to look out for me. Oh well, be back later, I am so upset about you Flowerchild that I need some time just to be sad. I'll be back later.

Luv Spring

Oh Spring sweetie I am sorry that my news has made you so sad. I really am okay. I am very disappointed, I wanted to be on the road to holding a baby in my arms. As I said the Universe had other plans and I just have to live with that right now.
However, I :pray: with everything I have that soon I will have a strong healthy baby growing inside me. That's what I want for all of the beautiful courageous women in here. WE DESERVE IT!!!!
So, now I am going to lie down. My DH is cooking dinner and he brought me home some Mersyndol to knock these cramps on the head. :hug:
Sorry for my lack of personals lovelies...

Oh Deb, I am so sorry to hear your bad news. I don't know what to say. I am sending you huge hugs and I hope you are OK.

Deb - I hope you have had a nice lie down and that the cramps have eased up :hug:

Mel - how was your last day? I bet it is a big weight off your shoulders - take care and enjoy your "me" time.

Spring - I hope you are ok and it was just a fault with the alarm. Luckily you have those tough puppies to look after you. Is DH coming home this weekend?

Nat - thanks for the receipe, it was yummy (not as good as yours though ;) ) How did you go with the shopping?

Bailey - how are you going?

Jo - I hope DD is ok.

:hello: hi to everyone else

Morning girls

Deb I am so sorry, I prayed and wished with all I had that this little one would be here for you to hold. I do hope that at least the "what ever above" make it easy on you and not to much pain. And as you and I both know, with this little angel something was not just right but it still sucks and you have every right to be mad with the universe. Im thinking of you and sending a big hug your way :hug: I know you will hold that baby the universe can not hold women like us back from what ever we put our mind and hearts too. Keep your chin up and be good to yourself. I have found that naprogesic tablets work wonders, they dont knock you around so much and ive taken them when been on clexcane etc with no side effects. Im think of you and hopoe your feeling better soon.

Lynn Im sure dinner was just devine, and shopping was well i didnt know that shopping all day could be so triering! but much fun. I will call you over the weekend.

Spring Im sure glad those furry babies of yours are so big and strong to protect you! Im sure its just the alarm playing up.

To all you other girls I need to read all the post and will catch up and get back, hope you are all well and the sun shines brightly on you all today to lighten your hearts and give you a smile!

NAt xxx

Flowerchild: Just checking in to see how you are going this morning. I hope that last night was a little more comfortable for you :hugs:

Dream and Lynn: Well my puppies took good care of me. When I got home there were about 4 young boys playing cricket with a tennis ball on the road (we live in a dead end street) so perhaps the ball hit the windows and that is why the alarm said Tamper and did not show any particular zone. Oh well, I did have a bit of a distrupted sleep but I am not so freaked out now.

Well I have taken the day off. My head cold has got worse and I could have worked through it but I decided to take your advice and take it easy. I have a scan this afternoon at 4.00pm which I am nervous about but looking forward to at the same time.

So this snuffalufagus (sp) will be hanging around today.

Mel: I don't expect to hear from you until at least noon so that you can have an awesome sleep in.

To everyone else, big love.

Spring

Deb - thinking of you, hope you are doing 'ok' Big :hug:

Spring - I'm glad that you have taken today off work to look after yourself. Good luck with your scan although I'm sure everything will be fine and you will see your little bean getting bigger and bigger. It is only natural to be nervous, if you need company let me know.

Nat - look forward to catching up over the weekend :hugs:

Mel - I bet you have had a big sleep in. Enjoy your first day off!

Big :hugs: to everyone

Luv & hugs
Lynn
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey Lynn

Thanks for the offer of company but I don't want to pass on any of my cooties to you.

DH just rang and said that he has to work this weekend so won't be coming home :( so when I go to the Ob this arvo, I am going to stop and get some videos and some yummy food.

On a good note, his work have told him that he can come home mid-week next week for my psychiatric appointment and Ob appointment. He will only be home one night but I really want him to see his little bean so I am excited about that.

Other than that, I am going to stalk BB for the next three days (lol)

Lv Spring

Goodmorning everyone,

Thankyou all for asking after me. I feel very blessed to have such caring women around me :hug:...

I am feeling fine today. Cramping has eased right off - bleeding is still quite heavy but that's okay... I took a couple of Mersyndol last night and slept until 7am!
Nat - naprogesic is best not to take if you are ttc - it can affect ovulation... JUst in case you didn't know. It is advised to steer clear if you are ttc from naprogesic and from ibuprofen etc...
Spring - I hope that cold gets better - rest up and please let us know how the obs appointment goes this afternoon. Great news that your DH can be home for next weeks appts. Thankyou for your messages - you are a real darling. :hug:

Lynn: How are you feeling about things now? It is so wonderful that you have had such positive FS appointments.

Mel: How are you doing sweet love???? Thinking of you :hug:

Bailey: Where are you up to Bailey - I am sorry I have lost track over the pas couple of days. Thinking of you

Now, we need to get on track in here. :bluedust: for all of us.

Hi all - Sorry i havent been in, we had a going away dinner with work and didnt get home til midnight.

DEB - I am so sorry for everything, I know you are trying to have a positive attitude about this but I just feel so sad for you. After everything you have been through, you deserve so much better. I am glad the cramping has eased off a little. I really admire your strength and I just hope one day I can be a strong woman like yourself. I am sending all my love to you and your beautiful family :hug:

Lynn - Gee Foxtel keeps me out of the loop, I havent heard anything about this low fat milk business. I drink low fat milk also cause I like it more, and I have enough chocolate and crap without having full cream milk and cheese and all on top of it. I hope you are doing ok :)

Spring - Good girl staying home to rest, sorry DH isnt coming home but it is really good that he can be there for your appointments. Too funny about the noon comment, you werent far off huh... it is terrible being so predictable LOL

Jo - I hope Brigid is feeling a lot better and you are doing ok with all the stress.

Bailey - Sorry you got a BFN, it sucks huh even if it is too earlier all you want is to see at least a faint shadow. Have you tested again? Is that a stupid question because of course you have LOL

Clare - That is fantastic to hear Splodge is doing well.

Big hi to everyone else.

Well I am officially unemployed (until 13th) and I am so happy about it. Everyone at work made my day yesterday very special and I got a cake and a few people got teary and my boss was talking to me during the day and saying good luck and everything and he said "we had some good times didnt we" LOL I felt like I was breaking up with him or something. Anyway we had a going away dinner planned for last night and nearly everyone came, and it was really nice. I got a going away present of this massive card which everybody signed and a Coles Myer voucher for $270 (they also gave me a wedding present in November of $250).

Another girl I am reasonably close with gave me a present and said I am not allowed to open it until I get pregnant and she wants me to open it the day it is definite (as in confirmed by a dr) because it is a little something to tell me she knows everything will work out for us. I got so teary when she said that, she kept saying I bet you will get pregnant as soon as you leave here and I got so upset because I really don't think it is going to happen, I know everyone wishes it for me but I just have this bad feeling something is not right and I can't shake it.

I did another test yesterday and got BFN and also another this morning with a BFN - lets face it, its not my month this month just like it hasnt been mine for the last 6 months. I know you are probably all looking at my ticker thinking there is still time but the ticker is a day out and I am day CD26 today. I am not stupid and I know that I would get at least a faint shadow by now. So now I am trying to figure out how I will get through Monday which is Nicholas' 6 month anniversary and I am also going to get AF that day :crying: DH cant take the day off cause we are going away on the long weekend so he is off on the Friday. Hey at least I dont have to worry about being a mess at work. Sorry to sound so "woe is me" and I dont mean to, just typing out my thoughts.

I hope you have a really good POETS day, I today my plans are to go pay my rego, and vacuum up after the stupid birds have flicked seeds all over the tiles (I will never have birds as a pet again! Well at least not 3 of them), cook dinner and then go pick up my step-children for the weekend. The time in between will be spent playing on my computer, and I am going to treat myself to Subway for lunch.

And finally, I am with you Deb - :bluedust: all round!

Sorry for the long post but you all know me by now LOL

Mel

Oh Mel :hugs: If you really think something is wrong can you talk to yoru obs? You know though that it is really usual after birthing to take some time to fall pregnant. Yes, it can happen fast for some but not everyone. I truly understand that you want this so very much adn we ALL want it for you too. Maybe your obs could do a few hormone levels and that will put your mind at ease. I wish I could say something to help you. Just know that I am thinking of you :hug:

Spring - I'm sorry that DH isn't coming home this weekend but at least he will be home next week for your appointments. I bet he can't wait to see his little bean. Let us know how you go this afternoon. Take care.

Deb - Thanks for the babydust - I think we really need it in here.

I am feeling positive about the FS as all the test results came back negative which is good. I think I forgot to mention last time that they also tested my blood to see if there was anything that could have contributed to us losing Cooper. That is why I was so nervous in going because I think I have finally got to the point where I don't blame myself anymore and I was just so scared that they would find something in my blood that had caused it. Luckily they didn't and it was just a tragic accident. Some days I still blame myself because I wish I had known that he was in trouble. I should have protected my boy. It makes it so hard to understand how and why this happened because the chance of a stillbirth is so rare but for it to happen with a cord accident is more rare. I just think how did it happen to me - I don't want it to happen to anyone but the chance of a cord accident happening is so rare that you don't even hear about it. I just don't understand. I am so scared about falling pg again because I think if it is rare and it happened to me once, then why can't it happen again. I know the cord was very long, but who decides that. What if they decide to give me another long cord. There is nothing that you can do about it. I just know that I can't go through this again.

I never ever thought I would be wishing for AF to arrive but I am! I just need her to raise her ugly head so I can start a fresh next month. The FS will monitor me throughout so hopefully by the end I will have my BFP. I'm CD32 and my temps are still up but if it is anything like last month, AF arrived 7 DPO, so she will arrive tomorrow. I have increased my metformin dose and it hasn't made me too sick (not like last week!) so hopefully with this and the clomid it is all that my body needs :pray:

I know that it has only been 3 months since Cooper was born, but I just feel that every day that passes it gets harder because I don't have my baby with me. I know I carried him to term, I know I gave birth to him, but I just don't have him here now.

:hugs: Lynne and truck loads of :bluedust:
Cord accidents are rare and that doesn't make any difference where you sit now I know. You could never have known Lynne it just isn't like that. Please try to believe that...

Are you on 50mgs of Clomid or 100mgs? I hope AF shows up really soon too. More than that I hope that this month is "the month of many bfp's" in here... :hug:

Thanks Deb - What I am feeling at the moment is nothing compared to what you must be feeling :hugs:

My OB has already organised some things, I had a prog test (with a few other things) on Mon (which was CD22) and he rang Tues and said everything was "perfect" and I had O'd. I am booked in for a Levovist scan (I guess you will know what that is) in April and DH has to have his swimmers tested this month. He also referred to an infertility specialist but I cant get in until May. As well as I recently had the hystergram and my uterus is "perfect" also. I dont think there is all that much he can do. I guess I do realise it can take a while to get pregnant after giving birth but it has been six months and my cycle has been back to normal for about 4 months or more. I just dont think I can do this much longer, I know other people have been through alot worse stuff than I have but I dont think I am strong enough to keep going :(

Anyway I am just being a whinger I think - I should think myself lucky in some ways!

From Me :)

Hi
Just thought I should pop back in and say hello to you all. I have only read this last page of conversation so apologies for missing people out.

Flowerchild - I am so sorry for your loss, I don't know what to say to help. Big:hug:

Spring - sorry you are alone this weekend, but it will be well worth it next week when DH gets to see the bub.

Lynn - I was so sorry to read your post about how you lost Cooper - it was such a tragic accident. I know that it is no consolation but your results coming back negative is a very good thing and I am sure during your next pregnancy they will be scanning you all the time. I hope AF returns soon for you so that you have your baby.

Mel - congrats on being a lady-of-leisure. Hope you are enjoying your lie-ins. Hope you get that BFP real soon.

Hello to dream, Bailey99 and all of you that I have missed.

Things are plodding along with me at the moment - I have been going over what my doctor said last week and I think he was suggesting I have an incompetent cervix. Or at least he could not think of another reason why I went into labour at 24wks. Anyway he has suggested we do not TTC for 6mths (I think I have already told you all this - sorry) so I have my 4mth prescription of the mini-pill starting today (AF arrived last night). The thing is I have got myself a new job for 12mths so I think it is the break I need and hopefully the start of a new life for DH and myself. So our plan is to TTC again in July '07 with the hope that we are successful by the end of the year.

Well enough chatter from me - I have stacks of filing to do before I go home.
Take care everyone, hope you have a relaxing weekend.

Mel: I am just so sorry that you keep getting BFN. I sort of feel since I fell pregnant that everyone in the TTC thread might get sick of me, and that I might not be the best person to support you, but I really want you to know that my heart pounds and I get so nervous reading your posts because I just want the best for you and that means a BFP.

I can't believe that Monday will be 6 months since you gave birth to Nicholas. It feels like that time has rushed by but at the same time that every day feels like a lifetime. Harry will be 5 months on Tuesday and that just astonishes me. Where has the time gone? About feeling like something is wrong, trust that instinct, I have told you about my instinct has warned me of in the past and the best advice I can give you is to follow it. If your body and your heart tells you to, keep searching for answers. You sound like you have a busy weekend planned so I hope it is nice for you. Also, it sounds like you had a wonderful night out with your work. I am glad they made it special for you and that you now have some serious shopping money. Retail therapy works wonders.

Anway, take care babe, and no matter if you don't hold out much home for a BFP, I haven't given up yet. I have everything possible :crossfingers:

Lynn: big :hug: to you babe, I know that the waiting for AF to arrive must be frustrating. I also totally understand the continual fretting about the cord. As you know I had problems with Harry's cord which may or may not have contributed to his death, but I have no one else but me to blame for that. I am the one who grew his cord, why didn't it do what it was supposed to? I think that it would slowly drive me insane if I let those thoughts consume me. That is part of what I am working with the psychiatrist about. Stopping those thoughts and letting logic overcome the emotion. Almost impossible but with time I can see that it would work. I hope that AF arrives soon and you can start afresh with a new cycle.

Flowerchild: Sorry for being a little bit selfish and getting so upset last night. It just really affected me that you were showing such courage despite the terrible circumstances. If it makes you feel any better I just wanted to let you know that you inspire me.

Bailey: Hey honey, how are you, I hope you are well.

Kerry: I know you said you wouldn't be around for a few days but I just wanted to say I hope your little girl is on the mend.

Clare: I am so excited about your great NT results. I am trying to look forward to mine rather than get nervous as all hell. I will have my awesome friend Lynn with me which I am so grateful for. Only 11 sleeps to go.

Pop in later
Luv Spring

Hi Tess, I must have just missed your post.

I don't know much about incompetent cervix but are there any tests that they can do to help you get a clearer picture about it and chances of it happening again. Did you deliver your eldest son pre-term? It might be worth seeing a specialist just so that you can get some answers.

Whatever you decide to do, stick around, even if you are not going to TTC for a while, we will miss you if you go.

Luv Spring

Tess - I know you Edest DS was born preterm and your angelDS was also, Do you think for a future pg they could give you a cervical stitch. With my DD I had one put in at 19w, while mine was due to a hypermobility condition it remained in place until I went into labour at 39w. I will need it done for all subsequent pg and after the loss of my boys my OB wants to do all future pg at 12w.

Hi everyone else, hope you have lovely weekends.

Oh my little one is slowly on the mend. The swelling and redness has deminished a lot but we still have tears when she knocks her finger. The Authopod said to expect this for a few weeks yet... but definately on the mend.

Sorry Mel, we must have posted at the same time. It seems that you and I are having the same sort of days lately. I think it is because we are both frustrated and want one thing......................to be pg. You know your body and you know what is going on, but I just hope that you are wrong and that your BFP is just around the corner. If not, then at least you have a plan. You and DH are having tests done and hopefully it will either show something that can be fixed or everything is ok and you just need more time. Here I am saying you just need more time and I know what you are probably thinking - you don't have time! Because I feel the same. I know that you want your BFP more than anything and I want this for you to. You deserve it so much and I know that it is just around the corner. I am thinking of you always. Big :hugs:
I will be thinking of you and Nicholas on Monday. I'm sorry that DH can't be with you, but just know that we are all there for you and if you need a chat, a cry or to scream, I am here to listen. You are so not a whinger. You are just letting out your emotions and there is nothing wrong with that. Look at me go today!!!!!

Deb - I'm on 50mg of Clomid. FS was actually reluctant to put me back on Clomid next month. He wanted to see how I went just on metformin. I said no. He said that there is a chance of multi-births and I said that I know the risks and the risks were the same when I fell pg with Cooper. I just think that I need to be on both to give me the best chance. I haven't told FS that I am a twin as well - probably a bit of info that he needs! oh well, there are always risks when you take meds but I am prepared to take them if I can fall pg from them.

Tess - I hope that in July you get your BFP and that the dr can help you with not going into labour early. All the best and if you want to stick around here, you are welcome.

Spring - isn't it cruel how the cord is supposed to give our babies life yet for us it tragically took it away. i know deep down that it wasn't my fault and that I couldn't have done anything wrong, but I just feel like I need to blame someone and there is no-one else to blame but me.

Jo - I'm glad that your DD is on the mend.

Oh Lynn :hug: Something I dont think I have ever said in here before but, I really hope AF shows up soon :pray:

As you know, I hear you when you say it is getting harder. I have my days now where I just sit there and think why do I even bother living if my life is destined to be S@@@. Please dont think even for a second that you "should have know", as much as well all feel that it is our job as mums to protect our children in this instance you couldnt have done anything to protect Cooper and I know that is hard to deal with but it is the truth. How could you have known? Even if you did know, what could you have done? Nothing. My first OB (as dodgy as he was) told me just after I lost Nicholas that there is a very short amount of time between the oxygen being cut off and when it is too late. I only know this cause I was saying that I should have known and got to the hospital in time, he said by the time I got there, they prepped the theatre for a caeser and did the op it probably would have been too late anyway. He said even if I was hooked up to a foetal monitor the whole time there would have still been no guarantees. I dont know if that helps at all, but it helped me a little when he said it. This OB didnt know much but I believe he was right about that.

I am thinking of you today Lynn and I really do hope you are feeling ok :hugs:

Love Mel

Oh Spring stop! YOu were not being selfish at all. I think it is incredibly wonderful that you can be so caring. I know exactly how you feel. I have felt the same way over time in BB. You are special :hug: Another thing. Noone feels anything but JOY for you. You deserve this little baby growing inside you and we all want to share in that joy. You are our inspiration. You and Clare and Michelle and Sarah and the other women who come in to share their pregnancies. We need bfp stories to keep us going...

Kerry good to hear Brigid's finger is on the mend... :hug:

Tess - congratulations on the new job :happyforyou:. JUly will be here before we know it I hope that the time flys for you...

Everyone else :hug: