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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

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    Default TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

    If you have found yourself in this forum you no doubt have had a painful journey. TTC after recurrent miscarriage/stillbirth or Late Loss takes special courage and support. The aim of this forum is to provide a place where women who have endured loss can share their stories, friendships, treatments and triumphs!

    My greatest wish is that you all leave this forum with nice big fat positives in the shortest possible time!!!

    If at any time you'd like to make a suggestion, complaint or provide any feedback for this forum, please contact one of your following moderators

    Flowerchild ~ [email protected]
    Tiggy - [email protected]
    Cailin - [email protected] Admin

    or alternately you may contact Kelly at [email protected] (however she may take a little longer to respond at times!).

    We appreciate all your feedback as it does help to make our forums a much happier, relaxed place to chat! We will always take your comments seriously - all comments are treated confidentially...

    Also, don't forget to check out the informative BellyBelly Conception Articles.
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    You will find the last thread HERE

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    Hey gals

    Mel: Just thought I'd check in to see how you are after yesterday. I know it was a big day for you but just know that I am thinking of you. When you feel like it, pop in and let us know how you are.

    Luv Spring

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    Hi Girls,

    Sorry I didnt post back yesterday - it was a really tough day and we decided we didnt want to come home so went to my sisters and had pizza with them and didnt end up leaving until midnight.

    Well, I got up and was ok all the way until we hit Hume Hwy which is the rd the cemetary is on and on the radio came a song called Hurt by Christina Aguilera and I was listening to the words "Im sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldnt do and I hurt myself by hurting you...bla bla bla" and I just burst into tears, as silly as it sounds I started having flashbacks to the day of the funeral which I found very traumatising and really dont remember alot of it. So then we arrived and we went in and this lady took us through to this room. They had a wall full of all these different urns and she had a couple in particular to show us but the first one she showed us was perfect, both DH and I thought so. It is more like a rectangular trinket box made of brass, its only small but she says big enough to fit his ashes in, it has a brass decorative cradle on the top of the box and it is impossible for it to spill because the lid which is on the bottom is held together with 4 screws. We told her we liked that one and she said just remember you dont have to buy them through us you can get things like this at a gift shop for less. OMG - WTF???? This is for our sons ashes? So anyway, then she told us she would have to order in the urn and it would take a week - 3 weeks to come in depending on availability and that they will transfer the ashes into it and ring us to pick it up, I said so we cant take him today and she no - so we had to leave him there I feel like I have had to do the whole coming home without him thing twice. I had to come home from hospital without him, and now again. I feel like a really bad mum cause we didnt even get to visit with him, we just drove off without him. Imagine how unloved he must feel! The whole process took about 5-10 minutes and when we left we kind of sat there thinking is that it. I felt a little better after going to my sisters, but I really do think life is getting harder, I must have been such an awful person in my past life!!!! Sometimes I get so about everything and I feel like my head is going to explode!

    Anyway, sorry to go on and on I just needed to get it off my chest cause I told DH I was ok with it but in fact I am not. I am pretty angry that we had to leave him again. But I just have to deal with it dont I?

    Oh, and I started doing HPTs today and I got a negative but I havent let it upset me cause I am not due for AF until 5 March.

    Oh Ido apologise cause this is gonna be a long post, especially when I include personals -

    Lynn - Sorry to hear you were feeling nauseous all the way through your sisters dinner. Hope you are feeling better today. I am not even going to try and curb my testing addiction this week, I am going to allow myself to do them whenever I like - I have 50. So even if you really dont think you are pg, you can still test. Stranger things have happened... Oh, and good on you for telling the guy you already have a child, I think it gets easier in time to handle that situation.

    Spring - I hope you are having a nice weekend with DH home, and I am sorry you had that awful dream. Lynn is right though, this bub is going to be fine and I know you will be holding his/her warmth in your arms before you know it. What is your actual due date? I dont think you have said. Also, has your OB said anything about how far he will let you go in the pg? And re the hairdresser, I told the girl who was cutting my hair a few weeks ago as well. Why shouldnt we? Its part of our life and if ppl dont like it its their problem. Why should we lie to make them more comfy?

    Deb - I know it is hard, but I think that toilet paper pact is a great one. I have decided that as soon as I am pg I will only be buying white tp with no patterns cause I dont wanna drive myself nuts. Also I agree the cramping is normal. I was told when pg with Nicholas that you can still get PM symptoms monthly even though you are not having period, dont know if it is true but just what I was told.

    Hi to everyone else and I hope you are all well. And, thank you to everyone who was thinking of me yesterday, you have no idea how much it means to me

    Clare, Deb & Spring - please send some of your :babydust: my way, I dont think I can cope with anymore crap!

    Mel

    P.S. Again, sorry for long post

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    By the way can anyone tell me how early your hormones can kick in if you are pregnant? Not that I am getting my hopes up or anything, but in the last couple of days I have broken out in pimples and I have 3 (yep i'm lookin' the goods, lol) and I generally dont get pimples at all, maybe the odd one here or there but I never get this many at one time. I didnt break out in pimples when I was pregnant with Nicholas but I know my sister did, she cant remember how early it was though. I keep wondering (or should I say hoping ) that maybe its a good sign. I am due for AF in 8 days so is it too early to any such signs?

    Thanks

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    Mel: I am sorry that you had to leave Nicholas there but you know no matter where you are, he is always with you. The urn you mentioned sounds like it is perfect and I hope that it only takes one week rather than 3.

    About the hormones, I am not exactly sure but I am pretty certain they start to kick in from the moment of conception. I could be wrong but there are some people who notice symptoms just after O and before a HPT works. I had a quick look on google and it skin blemishes are mentioned as a first trimester symptom but it doesn't mention how quickly it can occur.

    Lynn: I forgot to reply to your earlier post about sending my friend an email. I am sure she would be very pleased to receive and email from you. Please don't mention that I am pregnant though, I am keeping it a secret for a few more weeks.

    Luv
    Spring

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    Thanks Spring - I am probably just making my body give me symptoms like I did last month anyway... Maybe my skin is just a little more oily than usual. Other than the pimples I have nothing to make me think I am pg.

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    Hi Mel, I am sorry that yesterday ended without having your beautiful boy at home. Next time it will be for good and the urn you chose for Nicholas sounds just beautiful. I am glad you could share yesterday with your sister.
    Symptoms. Many women report symptoms from very soon after conception. It is generally the progesterone that gives us the early symptoms and this is what causes our PM symptoms as well (progesterone is at it's highest after ovulation) so that's why pregnancy symptoms and premenstrual symptoms are so similar. I hope so very much that those zits are pregnancy zits!
    Big hugs Mel :hugs:

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    Just some more
    For the most beautiful, gorgeous, courageous women I know!!!!

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    Thanks Deb - I am having my bloods taken tomorrow to test for "Prolactin, Progesterone, LH, FSH"...I know that he is checking to make 100% sure that I am ovulating, but do you know if this would also pick up early pregnancy? Or is it simply having to wait until either AF arrives or +ive HPT? God, I am so impatient - it is such a curse!

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    If you were pregnant your progesterone level would be increased. However, progesterone is increased anyway in the Luteal Phase of your cycle so, if it was right up it would make us wonder but wouldn't be definitive. That hasn't helped any has it!
    The upshot is you are just gonna have to wait -as hard and torturous as that is. The TWW is the absolute PITS. I am sorry Mel :hugs:

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    Deb, it has helped thank you. The moral of the story is that patients is a virtue I will just TRY to be patient, there is only a week to go.

    I got sick of my old ticker so created a new one and yet again it has put me at CD20 when in fact I am CD 21... I have no idea how this happens but I wish it would keep up!

    Hope everyone has been enjoying their Sundays, I have been cleaning and only have mopping the floors to go DH got picked up a new set of golf clubs this weekend and so is out at the driving range "testing them out"

    Anyway, hi to all.

    Mel

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    Awww Mel a week is a long time when you want a precious little baby to be cooking. It IS going to happen and I that this time next week we will have news of your .
    I love the new ticker by the way!

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    Mel: Lets just hope that the week flys by and you are greated by a at the end. I love the ticker too. I haven't seen one like that yet. Very cute. Hopefully you'll have to change it soon anway.

    Flowerchild: How are you feeling? I know you are going for your BT tomorrow so I hope you get some awesome numbers. Have you worked out your EDD yet? Good luck for tomorrow. I don't know how long it will take to get the results, but let us know how it goes.

    Lynn: How are you sweetie? Haven't heard from you today so I hope that it is just because you are having a wonderful Sunday. I think you asked in an earlier post what my EDD is. It is 22 September but as we all know, I am not going to be able to survive that long and I am hoping to make it just in time for a August bub. From all the reading I have done from 37 weeks onwards is considered full term. My Ob doesn't want me to think ahead that far yet but, as if, I was thinking that far ahead since seeing that second line.

    Everyone else andI hope you are well.

    I have a major case of pre-mondayitis so going to go and veg on the couch a little longer to make the most of what is left of the w'end.

    Might pop in later.
    Luv Spring.

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    Hi Spring,
    I live in the country so if I get my bt done before 11.30am it gets to the lab in Brisbane by 6pm - so I won't get the results until Tuesday afternoon. Likewise for Wednesday's test so I won't really know how this little one is going until late on Thursday afternoon.
    It's gonna be a long week methinks! The other thing is I went back to stare at my second hpt - the one I said was lighter... The line has gone altogether so I have come to the conclusion that it was a bodgy test. The lines have gone altogehter whereas the first one is still nice and bold.

    Anyway I am choosing to believe that this little baby is growing beautifully. I also believe that we are gonna have some more in here really soon...
    I am off to make potato salad and hubby is popping some steaks on the bbq. I feel the need for some red meat!

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    I think you are right Flowerchild, the test must be dodgy because if there is a line, it doesn't disapear, I would stick with the first test as by the sounds of it it is a definate BFP.

    Yummo, potato salad sounds great. I don't eat read meat myself, I haven't done so for about 6 years, but I can't stop thinking about corned beef with boiled veges and white sauce at the moment. I think it is realated to the pregnancy because the thought of red meat has repulsed me for so long. I am almost at the stage when I am going to try it, but every time I look at the meat in the butcher I feel like I am going to be sick. I might have to get someone else to cook it for me. My Mum and Dad have a cattle farm in Western QLD and I guess I have seen a bit too much in the past. The final straw was when Dad and DH slaughted a bullock and then Mum minced some and made spaghetti bolognaise that night and my dog Frank sat in the front yard chewing on one of the bones all night. Haven't been able to touch it since. Big sook I know.

    Anway, the Biggest Loser is about to start and I am an addict so I'll be back later.

    Luv Spring

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    everyone, I hope you all had a good weekend.

    Lynn & Spring - Good on you for for being so brave and answering those dreaded questions about first baby etc. I would think that it will get easier with time. I am so scared about having to go into it and have often wondered how I will answer it. It was my mums birthday last week and on her card I put from me, DH and DS. Then I thought about Asha and felt so guilty that I left her out. I then pit a big X right at the bottom and put "From Asha" next to it. I felt better then. I don;t think I will do that all the time, but maybe just for family.

    Mel - I am sorry you didn't get to bring Harrison home, but I am sure you know that he is with you. We only brought Asha home a couple of weeks ago, and as sad as it is, I am so glad she is here with us. The urn sounds perfect. We actually didn't get an urn, the ones at the place we looked were pretty horrible, but my aunt found a babies silver music box with teddie's on it and they sealed the ashes in that. It's really beautiful. I hope they get it quick for you so you can bring your boy home. How are the twins doing? Have you heard anything? About the hormones, I can't remember when they kicked in for me, but at the moment, my skin is just terrible.....so hopefully you are on to something. My AF is due about 03Mar, but I couldn't help it and did a test the other day. I knew it would be a BFN, but I couln't help it. Lucky I bought a few I might turn into a test junkie like you guys!

    Spring - lil' Spring is 10 weeks now and wants steak!! You'll have to get someone to cook you one!

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    Hi everyone,

    Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

    Mel - I am so sorry that you didn't get to bring Nicholas home with you but it won't be long and you will have him at home forever. And just remember he is always with you anyway. Good luck with your BT tomorrow and hopefully by the end of the week you have your BFP. BTW - love your new ticker! I'm too scared to do one because I just don't know what is going on with me

    Spring - lol at your story about the bullock. I don't think I would be able to eat meat if I saw where it came from!!! I remember when I was pg I hated the smell of raw meat and had to quickly through it on the barbie to make it cook so I couldn't smell it anymore. I hope you had a nice relaxing weekend with DH. I know it will be a long 2 weeks without him, but he will be home before you know it. And remember I am just around the corner if you need company.

    Nat - hope you are finally relaxing and getting some sleep! Girls, Nat has had a very busy weekend but she said that she will post tomorrow.

    Deb - good luck with your testing this week. I'm sure everything will be fine. I will be thinking of you :hugs:

    How fast did today go? I don't really know what I did to fill in the day but I have been busy. I made some banana cake to get rid of some bananas that had started to go a bit brown. Its a bit late now to try some.....

    I have had the need to change something for some time now but just wasn't sure what to change. I have now decided that my red feature wall in my family room needs to go. So I went up to Bunnings today and spent ages in the paint section looking for a new colour. I'll see how I go tomorrow and maybe I will have a new coloured wall and it might make me feel a bit better.

    Yesterday I still felt nauseous and last night I had the worst cramps. Today I am feeling ok, I just hope my body gets used to these meds sooner rather than later...........or I fall pg soon and don't need to take them! I am so nervous about my appointment with the FS on Tuesday, I am just so scared that they have found something that is not going to be good.

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