TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester April#2

I am popping in too to see how your results are LYNN.
I am sure they are beautiful becasue this is YOUR month!

LOL Bailey at the Golden Spit!!!!!! We have still got time for a Golden Pig baby as I said. Keep positive. Keep believing. Practically Bailey have you thought of taking some b6 and chaste tree? It is known to be a hormone balancer and aids in regulating cycles. Just a thought... Maybe a trip to a naturopath could help? Have you got opk's for this cycle?

Spring: I will email my recipe if you like - send me your email at my flowerchild@bellybelly addy. How is LIl Spring moving today? It is so scary when they have quiet times. :hug:

Well everyone is gone and now I have to get dinner... :cry: I am so tired I don't know what I am going to cook - something quick no doubt!
My Dad gave me the book "The Secret" as I had mentioned I wanted to read it (I have the dvd) so I am going to have an early night and get some positivity into me!
I will pop backin a little later to check up on Lynn. :hug:

Hey everyone,

Thank you for your messages yesterday for Cooper's 5 month birthday. It means so much to me. I think I got through the day ok. I went to the hairdressers and got my winter coat done! I have gone brown. I like it, much easier to look after. Then I had a wedding. The rain stayed away for long enough for them to say their vows. It was very beautiful and of course the bride was stunning! I saw a few people that I hadn't seen since Cooper was born so that was hard but I thought I did well to get through most of the night until the end. I was saying goodbye to people and everyone was saying how great it was to see me out and that Cooper would be proud of me and blah blah blah and I lost it :crying: A number of people also asked if I was pregnant because I wasn't drinking - it was so hard to say no. I guess when the alcohol is flowing a bit of the sensitivity goes out the window!!

I felt a bit sick yesterday and it has continued today. I'm not sure if it is the drugs that I am pumping into my body but I just don't feel right. It might also be that I am thinking of Coopie heaps and wondering what might of been.

Mel - I hope you are feeling a little bit better today. You had me worried yesterday. I wanted to jump on a plane and come down and give you a big hug :hug: I hope you enjoyed your time at the inlaws. I know what you mean about feeling alone. I feel like that sometimes. I know I have you girls to talk to but it is a weird feeling, one that I can't shake. Take care babe, speak soon.

Bailey - LMAO!!!! I'll help you spit the golden pig!!!! How was your relo bash today? I hope you enjoyed your time.

Deb - that is great news that the golden pig year ends in Feb 08.................still in with a chance :crossfingers: How is the 2ww going? Have you tested yet? The injections are going ok. I still can't do them myself. My DH is the best! He is my personal dr. I think he actually likes to do it! It was interesting yesterday trying to do it in the back of the car (injections that is) between the ceremony and reception! I hope nobody could see in with my dress up :redface:

Spring - sorry I had to cancel our date today. I just wasn't feeling right. I hope you had a fun day anyway. How is lil Spring going? Kicking around down there? Thanks for popping in to see how I am.

Well I got the results back from the bt :( not as good as we had expected. It has only gone up to 248 so I have to go back on Wednesday for another bt. I asked if my body is not responding to this either and they said that it is too early to tell and that after Wednesday's results they may increase the dose. I'm trying to stay positive but it's hard!

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

luv & hugs
Lynn

Lynn: YOur results have gone up and that's good. Sometimes they have to fiddle with the doseage a bit. Usually you begin on a lower dose - some women will respond to that really well and can get OHSS so that is why they are cautious to begin with. On WEdnesday if your levels haven't gone up I would think they will increase that doseage up and that is quite normal. The first cycle can be a bit of a fiddle to get it right. HOpefully though this is your first and last for a while... ;) I do understand about you fear of not responding - remember I needed 150mgs (the max doseage) of clomid to get a good ovarian response. It can just be a fiddle to get it right. Thinkign of you... :hug:

Thanks Deb. I think I needed to hear that. What is OHSS? I think it means to many follies. They did say that to me that my FS didn't want to increase the dose to early and then I over-stimulate and have too many follies and they would have to cancel the cycle. That would be awful!!!! Looking at my other levels prog is higher than last cycle - 3.2 and LH is 9 which is lower than the same time last cycle. Should I be comparing my levels to my last cycle given that I was on different meds?

Don't compare the meds are different. OHSS + ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome. Nasty little thing that creates too many follies, pain and can be very serious. And absolutely the result is the cycle will be cancelled due to the risk of multiples. YOu LH will be lower because you are further away from ovulation than last cycle I would suggest. But as I said don't compare. This is a different cycle with different drugs that work differently. What we want to see is nice follicular formation and a healthy progesterone at the end!

Thanks Deb. They haven't scheduled an u/s on Wednesday so I guess they want to see what my levels are first. Seeing as though I have long cycles I am thinking that it is still early days for me. Hopefully on Wednesday which will be CD15 my levels will be up :pray:

Hi again everyone,

Lynn - Sorry your results were not as good as you had hoped, but as Flowerchild said, there is a rise so that is good right? Hope they are even better on wednesday for you. Also, oops on the Golden piggy, I think I may have dissed the little porker too early, I forgot that the Chinese new year in in Feb, so I guess that this will be our month huh?

Flowerchild - I am already feeling bad, as I said to Lynn for dissin' the Golden Pig!!:lol: I will have to lay off all pork products all week and maybe she'll forgive me. What is chaste tree?? I will look into the b6, but I won't be chaste :) Is it something that I can get at a health food shop? I ordered some opk's online a week ago, but I dodn't recieve them last week, so hopefully they will arrive this week. Thanks so much for the advice.

My little monster has woken up, so I will come back soon and see whats happening.

Lynn: Sorry I know nothing about the levels eg but it seems Dr. Deb is on the case. With OHSS, my friend who is going through IVF had it and not only did they cancel the cycle, but she was hospitalised so it is good that they are starting you on a low dosage. Although it may mean fiddling around a bit at least you know that your body can cope.

I am also sorry about the insensitive comments you got at the wedding towards the end. I don't know what some people are thinking, but I am sure although it came out wrong, they were just trying to show that they cared, even if it was through beer goggles. I bet most of them feel silly about it today. No worries about cancelling our date, don't think I would have been very good company, Lil' Spring has been quiet of late but I have had a stern talking to myself and got over it (lol)

Bailey: How was the BBQ this arvo? Are you feeling a little bit better? Hey and I am sure the little golden porker will forgive you, I hope more than anything that you get a Golden pig bubba (boy that sounds weird but YKWIM ;)

Deb: Thanks for the advice about the bath. I tried it and more than anything I managed to relax and regroup a bit. I think I felt another movement but I can't be sure. I think that since I have been feelig movement I was expecting it to escalate to kicks straight away, like the huge whacks I had with Harry towards the end, but I have to be a little more realistic with my expectations. I have felt some movements today so tomorrow is a new day. Thanks once again for your help and advice, you are a lifesaver.

Mel: Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you honey. Take care.

Well I have eaten like an absoute guts today and I'm still hungry. One of those days when nothing seems to even hit the sides. I feel nice and cosy after my shower so about to settle down for a night of TV and yep you guessed it, more food.

I hope all you other sensational women are well, I'll be back later to say hi.

Lv hungry hungry hippo otherwise known as Spring.

Bailey - yes I must apologise to the piggy too! He only has a few more cycles to get us that bubba by the end of Feb :pray: Let's be nice to him and maybe he can help us out! Do we sound crazy or what??????????

Spring - I'm sure lil spring is doing just fine. just having a rest. When is your next scan? I know that everyone was probably thinking they were doing the right thing in talking to me about Cooper, I just wished they had said it at the beginning of the night and as you said, not through beer goggles. Don't they always say that you say what you think after a few drinks??? At least people are thinking of my little man and me. I guess they are probably scared to say anything when they are sober cos they might not know if they are saying the right thing. But as I always say, if you say something and I cry it is better than saying nothing at all and making me cry. I think I am going through that time where I feel like people are forgetting Coopie and I don't want them to, so expect them to talk about him all the time. I don't know how I would be if I was in their shoes so I guess I have to think that they are doing their best.

Dear Golden Pig,
I am really sorry for dissin' you earlier, I didn't really mean it when I said I will hunt you down and put you on the spit. It's just that we thought you had left a few of us behind, but it was just that I forgot that your year is a little different than ours. So, would it be ok if you could please help a couple of us out over this next month so that we can have our beautiful little earth bubs born in your wonderful lucky year?? Again, I am sorry for the threats and insults.
Thankyou

Lol...
hopefully the pig can read!!

Bailey you are so funny!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!! I think that apology will work :pray:

Well, I bloody well hope so!! If that silly ham is going to help us out, he better hurry up!

LMAO!!!! Look out piggy!

Wow, I don't come in for a few days and there's pages & pages for me to read! lol!

Well DH hasn't talked to his mother yet, he tries not to talk to her unless he has to!
It's funny how i don't have a problem with anyone else being pregnant, only SIL! very strange!

I am now on the 2ww, so fingers crossed!

how are everyone going? well I hope!

am with jlk on that one, bailey thats hilarious, you crackle me up lol (sorry for that poor use of humour). i was having a bad morning so thanks for making me laugh.
lynn - happy 5 months cooper, thinking of you. sorry the results were not as good as you were hoping.
morning to everyone else

Lol Klee, haven't you realised that poor humour is more than welcome in this thread...we need something to laugh at huh?

jlk - fingers crossed on the 2ww. What date will you start to test? DONT get the Foretel Ultra, I got two faint but still there positives with them the other week and there is a thread in the HPT section where stacks of others are saying the same thing. I am so glad I didn't think I was pregnant, so I didn't get my hopes up.

Hope everyone is good, I will come in late to see what's going on.

Bailey – that’s lucky then as I have quite a bit of poor humour in me
Spring – hows l'il spring today?
Mel – hope you are having a better day today. Not sure where in melb you are, but I live inner melb suburbs and work in city, so if you do want someone to chat to or just need to be heard, I am here for you.

For me, I had a few low days, physically I wasn't feeling that great, AF came and bought her evil cousin IBS, which I think bought me down mentally. Am doing okay today, thanks to bailey for her golden pig roast.

sorry ladies one other question, is it unusual to still be having leakage from the bb's? its not much just when I am cold. I have an appointment with my gp later this week, but just thought i would ask in the meantime

Klee - I am so sorry the wicked witch arrived! Doesn't she know that she isn't welcome here!!!! I hope she is being kind to you. Thank you for your birthday message to Cooper. Hope you are doing ok.

Klee - I am sorry about your period... :hugs: It' a good idea to get any discharge from the nipples checked out. I would say though that it is breastmilk that hasn't completely gone.:hugs:

Bailey: Thankyou for the article - it arrived in todays post. I haven't read it but when I get a chance I will sit down with a cuppa.

Lynn: How are you my love - feeling a bit better today? Two more sleeps until Wednesday!

Mel: How are you? I have been thinking of you. :hug:

Spring: How is that Lil Spring going? Remember that any movement is a movement and at this early stage you are not likely to receive thumps. I hope that you are feeling a bit better. :hug:

I will pop back later - I have some friends coming over tongith and a husband that's off to Melbourne for the day tomorrow so things are a bit busy.

Hey Deb. I am feeling ok today. I am trying to remain positive. I rang the clinic this morning and asked them if there is anything more I can do and they said that I just need to be patient and let my body work. I have been getting some cramp like feelings in the ovary region and they said that that is good because it means that something is happening down there. I am hoping that Wednesday brings high levels and that we are going somewhere this cycle! I guess I have to remember that I do have long cycles so I can't be too down on myself this early because the levels aren't high. :crossfingers: for Wednesday!

How are you going? How is the 2ww? When are you due for testing? I'm :pray: that you will have some good news for us soon!

Bailey you are hilarious..... dissin' the piggy, I think your apology will work, and if not, dibbs on the crackling.

Klee: Sorry the witch arrived. About the discharge. I still had milk weeks after giving birth. I was given tablets to dry up my milk after having Harry and it still happened. I agree with Deb, ask you Dr about it but I don't think it will be a problem. Just one of those other wonderful things we have to cope with :rolleyes:

Lynn: I have everything possible crossed for awesome results on Wednesday. You are doing so well and I am very proud of you for going through all the jabs and tests. You are much more brave than me.

Deb: I once again renew my request to come and live with you. You always seem to have something exciting and yummy going on at your place. I hope you have a nice night tonight with your friends and don't miss DH too much tomorrow.

Mel: Sending a huge :hug: your way.

Well I am not officially out and proud. Well sort of anyway. I told my colleauges at work today and they were all great. One close friend actually got teary which was sweet. I couldn't ask for a more understanding and family friendly workplace. So I feel good. Also, Lil' Spring has been moving around like a maniac today and has been going crazy since about 7.30am so I am feeling heaps better.

I know I have asked me this a million times, but if you want me to leave my posts about Lil' Spring for the pregnancy thread I will. I don't want to make a fuss, I just don't want to upset any of you wonderful ladies who are TTC.

Oh well, scrambled eggs on toast for me :( don't feel very inventive tonight.

Big love and Hi to eveyone else
Spring

Am in the middle of cooking and was going to do a 'catch up' later but just a quicky for Spring!!!

NO, NO, NO - don't leave, stay with us, please, please!! I know you have come out of the 'pregnancy closet' but I can't cope with having to 'stalk' another thread to keep in touch with you and Lil Spring!!!!

Sorry, bit selfish - will skulk back to stove now!!!

HeybackO you are a sweetie. I just want you to all know that I am with you every step of the TTC way no matter what.

Oh and ladies, there is a lady who has posted in the Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Loss forum under the In Memory of Angels Babies. She just lost her baby at 18 weeks last Tuesday and I think she could really do with some support. A few of us have replied but I thought I would let you know about her so that the gang could rally together and help her out. Her name is GKS.

Talk soon you spunk rats.

Lv Spring.

Spring - I will not tell you again. We love to hear about lil Spring, it gives us all hope that we can do it too. I for one feel very lucky that I can be here with you, and everyone, through this long, hard journey all together. Besides, we all have a vested interest in Lil Spring now, so you can't go anywhere!!

Hey everyone,

For the Sydney chicks, we are trying to organise another catch up. Check out the catch up thread.

Spring - you are not going anywhere!!!!! We need all the lil Spring vibes. That is excellent that lil Spring is bouncing around in there. The little guy was probably just catch up on some zzzzzzzzzz.

Alex - how was dinner? What was on the menu?

Mel - thinking of you babe :hug:

Hi girls,

I am not up to doing personals sorry.
I have not posted in a while. I am having trouble coping at the moment. I have realised that i haven't dealt with or grieved any of my losses and i am just feeling so low at the moment. I feel so lost.
I hate myself for not even aknowledging their existance to try and ease the pain and forget about them. How could i do that they were real human beings?? They deserve better, maybe thats why they were taken from me.
i have no idea how to bring myself to grieve them, i have just had them locked up in a dark box in my heart that was never to be opened. I have been battling this since i last posted. I just feel so alone, i don't know anyone that has been through this, then again not many people know i have.
It seems that i am just lost and don't fit in anywhere. I love them, or do i? if i did i don't think i would've done this to them. I am sitting here crying not knowing what to do :cry: .
Searching to work out who i really am and what type of person i really am.
Am i ever going to be able to grieve them? I thought it would be best if i just forgot them, but i can't.
What a terrible person i am for doing this. I feel like i need to punish myself now for how i have punished them.
I have not spoken to anyone about how i am feeling not even DH and that is probably wrong as well.

Anyway enough rambling and whinging from me. Sorry it is so self absorbed. I just think i needed some where to vent and here seemed the best place.

I am currently in the 2WW as well- so that is probably not helping.

I just have to add..Bailey at least you brought a smile to my face about the Golden pig on the spit.

Hi Kristee,
I am so sorry that you are feeling so low at the moment. I too had a bad week where I just felt, well the only word I could think of was lost. I sometimes wonder if I am greiving right and worry that one day it will catch up with me and I will break down. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone with your feelings. I don't really have anything I can say to you that can help, but I just wanted you to know that however lonely you feel, all of us here will always be here for you and although we all have different stories the ending is the same. I hope you can get out of this horrible place soon. Take care.

Hi Kristee, I am glad that you came back. Grief is such an unpredictable thing. It can strike you just when you feel like you are recovering. The only thing I can suggest is perhaps it might be worth talking to someone like a counsellor who can help you work through the mixed emotions you are having. I sought help after I had Harrison, and although it was really hard at first, I realised that I needed help to learn to deal with my grief. This is not something that you have to face alone.

Talking is really important so keep talking to us. We are all here for you.

Luv :hugs:
Spring

This is especially for Spring. This recipe was given to me by a friend after I had my second baby. Christines husband came from northern Africa and it was cooked for women after they birthed their babies. I always make it for friends and have eaten it after all of my births (except my first!). It is yummy and very good for you!

Christine’s Chicken Soup

Wash 1 whole organic chicken in cold water.

Place in a pot and cover with water. Boil for 3 minutes until it gets foamy. Skim off the foam.

Chop: 3 potatoes, 5 carrots, 3 onions, 1/2 medium pumpkin, 3 sticks of celery, 6 cloves of garlic, salt, pepper, handful of fresh parsley, 1 sprig of fresh rosemary, handful of fresh basil. Simmer for 1 1/2 hours. Remove chicken from soup, cool slightly then strip the chicken off the bones. Return chicken to the soup. Discard the rosemary sprig. Add 1 bunch of spinach and blend with a bamix.

Serve with crusty bread - delicious!

Thanks so much Deb, I meant to email you for that one but I totally forgot.

It sounds so tastee.

I'll have to try it this weekend.

Lv Spring

Hi there all you wonderful women,

Im so sorry Ive been MIA life is just going so fast at the moment. Ihave only had a quick look at the threads and boy do I have alot to catch up on!!! I have missed you girls so much and do think about you all each and every day.

Dancing with the stars is on so Im goin to pop in and out tonight, i wasnt going to watch but........im a tv show junkie i mean big brother, DWS, biggest losser!!! You would think I had nothing better to do.

Deb Hows it all going? where are you at? I need to answer one question you asked about 150 post ago.....how much stuf will I be on/was on, metformin-3000mg per day, clexcane 40mg inj daily but last conversation with Dr S this will increase to what not to sure mybe double, preds.- 25mg per day as well as fish oil tables, multi which has been formulated for me, folate 5mg b12 1000iu b6 350mg. And by sept who knows what! What are you on? Hows the family and what are you baking today!

Spring Hows that little bundle growing? Did I read that you told work? hows that all going? whens your next scan?

Lynn Left you a message talk later tonight.

Bailey Hows married life going? hows that little boy going? Im sorry you got AF I was praying that it would be you so maybe this month?

Mel Hows that house going? Sorry to hear all not going to plan, I praying so hard for you. I need to catch up on the MIL situ!

To all the girls that I have not personal to just yet, please dont think Im rude I just need to catch up on who is here, I do hope you are all do ok. I will be back to catch up! DH just made me a cup of tea, cant knock that back not like it happens every day!!

Talk soon
Luv Nat xxx:grouphug:

Nat: Great to hear from you. I have been wondering how you were doing. I am a bit of a reality TV fan also but I must admit I am a bit miffed that DWTS means no All Saints tonight :(

I have told most of the people at work about Lil' Spring yesterday and today, I got a huge bunch of flowers from some of my colleagues today which was so sweet and made me cry. They have just been so very good to me. So I am officially out and proud.

So what is going in Natville? How long until you head off on your Europe adventure? I don't know if you have seen but we are having a Sydney Chicks catch up in a few weeks. It would be sensational if you could come.

So glad to hear from you again.

Lv Spring

Great to see you Nat!!!! I miss you when you don't pop in. September is getting closer my love. YIPPPEEE.
Thanks for answering my meds question. I am on 25mgs of prednisone, 5,000iu of Fragmin (same as clexane) my obs spoke to the famous Dr S a couple of weeks ago and he suggested 5,000iu instead of the 4,000iu for me. Fish oil, vit b6, b12, multi, 5mgs of folate, vitamin c and zinc - YUP I rattle when I walk!
I have to go nighty nights - I can barely string a sentence togethr. DH just got home from a day in Melbourne so we need to catch up.

Nighty Ni Deb :bedtime:

Alright I'll stop hogging this thread and go to bed also.

Lynn: I have everything crossed for your BT tomorrow. Bring on some awesome results :crossfingers:

Lv Spring

God Spring, stop hogging the thread!! Lol, you are a chatterbox tonight. How's our lil spring doing today?

Nat - Well you are a blast from the past :) welcome back, we missed you. Poor Flowerchild has been stuck with all our questions. Yep, AF for me on day 44!! But as I told the other gals, that egg is not getting away this time!

Lynn - Good luck for the BT tomorrow.

Mel - How are you doing?

Hi too to everyone else. Will pop in again later to see how everyone is!

Hey everyone,

Nat - sorry I missed your call. We ended up going to the in-laws for dinner. I will buzz you tomorrow.

Mel - thinking of you babe :hug: Hope you are doing ok. Take care.

Deb - Have a good night sleep. I thought I rattled when I walked! I am going to talk to FS tomorrow about anything else that I can be taking, doing etc to help me. Please, please can I have high levels tomorrow!!!

Spring - thanks for the wishes. I am :pray: that the levels are high and I rang today and asked if I can have an u/s because there is something going down there. I am having some 'feelings', cramps maybe, not sure how to describe them but I just want to know what is happening.

Bailey - thanks for your wishes. How is the witch treating you? Hope she is being as kind as could be :hug:

Kristee - I sorry that you are feeling low at the moment. This is so very normal. It is a roller-coaster that you are on so cherish the good days. It think it might be a good idea to talk to a counsellor. I did after I lost Cooper. At the time I didn't think it was helping but I look back now and I think it did. It allowed me to say what I was feeling and how I was thinking. You are not a terrible person and you are not being punished. Unfortunately bad things happens to good people and it is so unfair and cruel. Come in whenever you need to vent, we are all here for you. Take care babe :hugs:

Hi to everyone else, hope you are well.

hi ladies, I am a nutter I posted on the wrong thread yesterday lol.

kristee - i just want to be able to give you a big hug and tell you you are not alone in these feelings. I have the fear like Bailey that one day it will all catch up on me. I go through most days not feeling anything, and when I do feel it I berate myself for not feeling enough. Grief is such a gamut of emotions, no one feeling is right or wrong, they all just happen. We each grieve in our own way and our circumstances are different. I don't think that you are not acknowledging your losses but just a way of you coping. Your angels didn't deserve better they got one of the best.

Have had to start a third time as the keyboard hijacker has done it twice now - touches a button and my draft message just 'goes' I know not where!! (Yesterday, he was eating frozen calamari out of the freezer - me think he has hit Terrible Two's!!)

Lynn - fingers crossed for today, will they be scanning as well???? I have a wierd feeling about you this month!! (I mean, wierd in that it is your month, not that YOU are wierd!!)

Spring - how is life outside the Closet?? I am a bit concerned you have chosen DWTS over All Saints - that can't be right can it??? Is it yer 'ormones???

Kristee - can't add to the excellent advice of others but just want to beg you to be more gentle with yourself, I think you are expecting too much of yourself after your awful journey, sending you :hug:

Flower - any news I have missed?? Can report I have now bought 'Joan Bishop's NZ Slow Cooker Cook Book' from a car boot sale on Saturday - just need, well, the Slow Cooker now!!!

Klee - how you doing, can't scroll back to check your news and memory has failed me yet again, my one remaining brain cell was napping!

No news from me, although I have just got Titanium Membership to the 'Waiting for AF after M/C or D&C Club' that Kiwigirl has just opened!!! Day 28 and still no Witch!

Onwards and forwards!