TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester April#2

lynn- good luck today sweetie, will be thinking of you. sorry for all those emails this morning, i am not stalking, sometimes i just forget to put things in and also i sometimes don't think before I type, so just want to apologise if i have said anything wrong.
alex - heres hoping the witch doesn't come, she's been a hell of a cow to me this month. its been a strange visit, first she wasn't sure if she wanted to turn up, then when she did she decided she was visiting with avengance, now she isn't sure if she wants to leave, she packed up all her stuff then decided she didn't want to leave. some houseguests are so annoying! lol

Hi everyone,
Lynn: Thinking of you and hoping for wonderful wonderful results... Please come in as soon as you know... :hug:

I have a huge day today so I won't have time to do more personals - but I have read them all and I have to say Alex I have *slow cooker cook book envy*!

I will be back later to check on the gorgeous Lynn...

Deb you are so sweet :hug:

Thanks everyone for your wishes.

Well we didn't wish hard enough :cry: Not much happening. My levels have not gone up (but they haven't gone down either). There is one follie at 11mm and a couple of small ones under 10mm so we are hoping that the 11mm does something but obviously it needs some help to grow from its friend estrogen. I am increasing my FSH dose starting tonight so hopefully this is all I need for my estrogen levels to rise and help grow this little follie (I'm calling her Hope). I have a thing for naming things!!! Makes it a bit more personal ;) I am going back on Saturday for another bt so hopefully by then the increase in dose has worked and Hope will be starting to get ready to burst! :pray:

Positive thoughts, positive thoughts.....................come on golden piggy, help me out here! :crossfingers:

*grow follies grow*!!!!!!!
That increase is probably all that's needed - they are doing well if you have one at 11mms and a couple a little smaller. You might end up with 3 ripe follies by Saturday!
Hope sounds like a great name - I have a naming thing too!
I hope you are okay - remember, those ovaries ARE working those follies show that - the increase will boost the estrogen and viola!:hug:

Haven't been "in" for a while. Glad to read you are all well.

Deb, some good news coming from your direction soon? Just read the meds you are on. Good luck.

Me, I am doing great. Had good news too so lets see what the future holds for us all.

All the best to you all and may tomorrow bring all our dreams a step closer.

Debbie

Great to *see* you Debbie. Are you pregnant? I hope that's what you meant. If you are I am so happy for you :happyforyou:. Maybe you could join the Pregnancy After Recurrent miscarriage/Stillbirth/Late Loss thread? Do you remember Sarah KAB - she just birthed her baby boy Jack yesterday so we have had our first graduation!

Yes, I have been on all those meds since October now (obviously not the clexane- I was on 4,000iu for my last pregnancy but that ended in miscarriage just before the 5 week mark. My obs has increased the doseage for my next pregnancy). The prednisone isn't good for the weight I am afraid but it's a small price to pay in the end.

Hopefully you can come in regularly - we would all benefit from your support and knowledge and hopefully you can be supported on your journey too.

Big big hugs and again GREAT to see you! :hug:

Thank you so much for your message Deb :hug: I have just got a little teary reading it. You are so positive and always see the best outcome. I say that I am positive and I am trying to be positive but I am just so scared about what will happen if this doesn't work. I try not to think about it because I want this one to work so much. I think I am doing ok, it is just a little over-whelming. I guess I just have so much pressure on myself for this to be the month.

Lynn :hug: It is perfectly reasonable to be scared. Feel that feeling and then try and let it go. Focus on those follies and visualise them growing beautiful healthy eggs.
I hope this is your month so very much - but if it isn't this is the path and you will get that Earth Baby. YOU WILL!
I have to go and bath my kids and finish off dinner. I just wanted to pop in.

Lynn :hug: Sending you lots of *growing follicle* vibes. Make sure those booties are tucked under your pillow. Add the fertility stones if you got some. I am thinking of you and I hope Saturday brings you healthy, juicy follicles.

Lynn: I am sorry the results weren't as good as you were hoping but a 11mm one and a few below 10 mm is a great start. I pray that the extra does is just the trick to get them bursting out.

Message to Hope: Now listen here miss follie, grow strong like your mum.

Luv Spring

Lynn – Thanks for your messages :hug: I will keep my fingers crossed that the increased meds is all you need to catch that eggie this month.

Deb – How is life in the land of TWW? Its over now, yes? Thanks for your reply on Saturday, I have rung the FS to see if I can get in earlier and they are fully booked but she did tell me to try every couple of days to see if they’ve had a cancellation but I don’t like my chances. Re your question about O day I am not 100% sure which day I O’d but I did get a positive OPK on days 12 and 13 so I am assuming 14. I did ring my OB about getting AF 2 days early and he thinks the stress of TTC is probably playing havoc with my cycle which is why it has been irregular the last few months, he said its kind of like a catch 22 situation. Great huh :rolleyes:

Klee – I sent you an email about a week ago but I am not sure if you got it. It had the details of the Sids and Kids meeting, as well as telling you what area I am located in – after reading your post from the other day saying your not sure where I am I am thinking maybe you didn’t get it afterall. Maybe I got the wrong email address, not sure… anyway, if you didn’t get it let me know and I will resend.

Bailey – I would love to catch up with you if you come to Melbourne, I really hope you do... maybe you can shove everyone else in your suitcase? Im sure airport security wouldn’t notice ;)

Spring – Congrats on being out and proud. How nice that your work mates bought you a nice bunch of flowers.

Kristee – I agree with the other girls, I am sure if you do some things acknowledge and honour your angels you will feel better, although they know how you feel about them and that’s all that matters.

Nat – Hope all is well. House plans are on hold atm for various reasons, I don’t know if I can handle the stress (long story) and money (even longer story). We are still going to buy the land, we hope anyway, but the house is going to be put on hold while we basically get our life sorted out.

I am sorry girls, I know I have probably missed quite a bit of stuff out of my personals but hope I have got most of it right. But, hi to everyone I missed I hope you are all doing great.

Sorry I have been MIA for a few days, I am not coping at all at the moment, not getting pregnant this month has been the toughest yet. In the previous months I have been upset and down and a day or so later I pick myself up and look forward to the next cycle. This month I cant do it, there is nothing to look forward to. I know next month is going to be just the same as every other month and I am not going to allow myself to think any differently because I cant take this disappointment and hurt anymore.

Today was really tough – it started when I got to work this morning a lady was talking to me about D&C’s and miscarriages (working for a pathology company at the moment) and started telling me how a friend of hers years ago was pregnant and her body kept threatening to abort but she did everything she could to stop it and had the baby full term and the baby died of heart problems within weeks of birth and she was saying how women need to realise that miscarriages happen for a reason and that babies don’t die unless they are meant to, I said well maybe that is the case sometimes but sometimes it is a problem with the mother and she said yes rarely (obviously she hasn’t visited BB recently) but even if it is the mother, nature has a way of taking care of things and if the child was meant to be it would have been born healthy. I didn’t say anything, I was already feeling emotional and I spent the rest of the day fighting back my tears. I don’t understand why people find the need to be so vocal about their opinions when they don’t have a clue what they are talking about. In her defense she doesn’t know about my life, but all the same the one thing I have learnt in this journey is that you should never presume to know what other people have been or are going through. The last few days and been really tough and hear this from someone when I already feel as low as I can get doesn’t help at all. Anyway, the day just got better from there everyone was talking about babies (cause the damn place is full of pregnant women) and one was talking about her grandchildren and of course I have to sit there and smile and pretend like I give a s@!#.

OK with that vent over, ciao.

Mel

Hi
I was wondering if it would be okay for me to pop back and stay with you ladies for a while. I have been finding things hard lately and unfortunately this forum was giving me too many memories that I did not want.

Tomorrow would have been my EDD and I thought it was about time I pulled my head out of the sand and got on with life. We are waiting another couple of months before TTC again but it would be nice to catch up with you all.

I also want to pass my condolences to the new ladies in this thread - I am so sorry for your losses.

Thanks, T.

Hi Tess,

Of course your welcome. :hugs: to you for tomorrow, I am sure it will be a tough day.

Mel

I am so glad you popped back Mel - I have been worried for you. I do understand how tough this is my love. I wish I could wave a magic wand and give us all sticky babies and healty happy endings. (*she swiftly waves her magical wand over all the special women in here*! ;)
I will come back tomorrow.

Welcome back Tess - I am glad you have come back here. I understand about the memories and I will be thinking of you and yours tomorrow my love... :hug:

Tess: I am reaching though this computer screen and giving you a huge hug. Welcome back sweetie.

Thinking of you and your angel tomorrow.

:hugs: Luv Spring :hugs:

Mel I have breathed a huge sigh of relief seeing your post. I understand there are days when it all just seems too much but I am so glad that you have come back and posted. I have emailed you just now.

I just want to tell you that I am here for you and send you a huge warm fuzzy :hug:

Lv Spring

Deb - thanks for your messages. As always you make me feel better about myself :hug: I do have to believe that Hope will continue to grow beautifully and give me a healthy egg.

Mel - big big hugs to you :hugs: You are so strong and brave in the way you handle people. I know you don't feel like that at the moment, but you are. It must be tough working with all those pg women. You will be one of them one day, very soon! I know it is hard but you just need to stay positive and believe that this will be your month and that you will be holding your earth baby in your arms very soon. This is such a difficult journey and I wish I could make it easier for you. Just know that I am here for you whenever you need to talk, vent or just a shoulder.

Michelle - I have those beautiful booties that you made me full of *alfie* dust tucked under my pillow with the rose quartz and moonstone from Deb. I hoping so much that they help me this month. I hope you and *alfie* are well :hug:

Tess - welcome back. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. :hug:

Spring - thanks for your message to Hope. I hope she is listening!

Klee - don't worry I don't think you are stalking! It was nice to get so many emails. You have said nothing wrong. Hope you are doing ok.

Alex - I am weird!!!!! I hope your feeling is right. I hope the witch arrives soon and that she is kind to you.

Bailey - Can I fit in your suitcase???? I would love to go to Melbourne and give Mel and Klee a big hug!

Tommysmum, Sarah, Jo & Chelle - haven't *seen* you around lately. I hope you are all doing ok. Thinking of you all.

Hi everyone,

Mel - Good to see your post. I am sorry you are feeling so down. I found that I had a really hard week last week and I felt really lost, like I didn't know where to turn or what to do. It sucks doesn't it! I hope you are feeling better.

Lynn - Tell Hope to start behaving or else I will have to give her a talking to like I did to golden piggy! Sorry that your results were not as good as hoped, but reading what the ever-wise Flowerchild said maybe the increase is all you need. Fingers crossed for you.

Tess - Welcome back! I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Hi too to everyone else, hope everyone is doing well.

Hey Bailey - I am feeling a little better now though... I had been staying away from BB cause I didnt want to bring everybody else down if they were feeling good - but after being on BB tonight I feel a bit better... like I always say what would I do without you girls? :)

:confetti: Hey I just hit a milestone - 400 posts :confetti:

Still got a way to go before I catch up to Spring but hey you cant win em all... even Lynn has surpassed me by 1 LOL

Yeah Mel, 400 posts. You can't possibly catch up to Spring, she is just a chatterbox lately, should have seen her last night, she hogged a whole page :) I am glad you are feeling a little better. I was like that last week, I was just so disapointed about not being UTD yet as I just always expected that I would be by now. It is so hard to let go of the expectations isn't it? I am sure that we won't have to wait too long now. You should try to get up here for a day at least on one of our catch up's. It would be fantastic for us all to meet in person.

Everyone - Apparently on Big Brother tonight, one of the inmates/housemates told the group that her baby died at almost full term. they are talking about it in the TV thread here
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...splay.php?f=54

Yeah well I think that is my problem - in the early days I was planning to have the baby before Nicholas' birthday so that he could have his own day and now I will be lucky to be UTD by 5 September which is actually coming around very quickly :(

I heard on the radio this morning that they pulled the task for this week which was baby dolls to look after and that would explain why... As if that group of immature people are going to understand what it is like for her - they are all lucky if they act older than 16! I find people my own age or older cant even get it let alone the BB housemates.

Hello ladies

I am finally free - been hijaked by MIL for several days and yesterday had to help DH write a quote for work - took all day (i was the typist and could vomit after sitting at the pc all day). I now have rascal on my lap drawing tattoos on my arms "for Tommy". I get them every day.

That is very sad about Kate on BB - i was meant to watch it but missed it. Many people have a story to tell (whatever it may be) but we just don't know it.

Mel - you are right when you say we shouldn't presume what other people have been through. When i went to the EPC the other day, the docs said "you have been through a lot" and i just said "yes, but a lot of people have been through more than me". I thought myself lucky when i said that (i think i was trying to be brave and take the focus off me to make it easier to cope) and hope that we have all been through the worst that we ever have to go through. I hope you are doing ok - have been thinking about you ! I think we should all make a trip down the Melbourne for a visit - so why don't you just build that house (don't put it on hold) and we can stay !!! yes ?

BAiley - hello luv - long time no speak. I have the Maybe Baby in my bag still (i hope) but i have a bad feeling it doesn't work. If i go to the chemist before i see you next i will get it checked out. I think the wiring may have snapped (thank you DD) and it may be totally stuffed but will find out - i may be wrong. Hope you are doing ok. And how is that wonderful Golden Pig - didn't realise he/she hung around till Feb. Be good to the ham. Oops i was going to have a toasted ham sandwich this morning....

Lynn - i "hope" the next few days bring some good news on Hope and that your BT is all good.

Kristee - i hope you are doing better and am sorry that you have been feeling the way you have been lately. Grief is horrible isn't it and there are so many different emotions to tackle. It is very hard to talk to people who don't know what it is like - i mean how can we explain what it is like - i just say it is "sh*t". And remember there is always the counsellor to have a chat too - very helpful. Take it easy.:hug:

Hello to everyone else - hope you are all doing well (sorry if i have missed any important posts but i can't speed read yet).

I am going off to have a toasted ham sandwick - sorry but my mouth is watering now. I will be good to the ham though !

morning ladies
i did happen to watch bb last night, kate lost her baby towards the end of pregnancy, she had pre-eclampsia and the baby passed from that. i agree with mel of the immaturity of some of them, it annoyed me, most of them didn't get upset, I guess because they don't understand the significance, then later on that night one of the chicks was crying over the fact that she couldn't acknowledge one of the other housemates because he was in trouble with big bro. It may have just been the editing, but it was very bloody annoying.
mel sorry darls I am not rude I didn't get your email, the address again is kr1slee@hotmail.com
lynn - i'm not sure what it all means, but it does sound hopeful. hope is such a beautiful name, grow hope grow

sorry hi to everyone else
mel - check your email, we live very close!

Well I have decided it's time to "come out". I got a :bfp: last Wednesday and have had serial hcg levels done. I just got my second one back and the result a little more than double the last one with a progesterone level of 320 which is very high. My hcg is within normal limits but certainly not high so I am not sure about twins. My obs is very happy with my results so I am praying and visualising this beautiful baby/ies.

I began my Fragmin injections last Wednesday and my belly is not lookin pretty but this is a small price to pay for a new life.

I am feeling awkward as I know that that :bfp: is hard to get - I am sorry if this is too uncomfortable. I have to scadoodle to school - I have a massive headache from the stress of waiting for these &*^*((( results!!!!!

i will come back later. :hug:

Hooray Hooray Hooray - congratulations :happyforyou: ...was wondering what was going on with you (you were very quiet on the testing front - from what i could see). That is wonderful news - i am so happy for you !!!! Now spread that babydust to everyone else here. This is fantastic !!! :clap: Don't worry about how your belly lookds - it is only going to get very big !!!

Yay Flowerchild!!! :happyforyou: I am sooooo Happy for you!!
I am also very jealous - but only in a good way of course!
Congratulations for you and your family.:confetti:

Yay, Deb, way to go!!!

I shall now use the 'icon of choice' :happyforyou: (been dying to use to that one!!!)
May this be the stickiest bub (s)tee hee!!) ever!!!

You were SO brave to have sat in that dark, lonely closet for a week - welcome out!!!

Much much love
Alex
xxxx

WoooooooooooooHoooooooooooooooooo :happyforyou:

I knew it!!!!! I kept asking you how the 2ww was going and you wouldn't reply and I noticed that your location had changed. I didn't want to ask just in case, but I had my suspicions.

Deb I am so happy for you. Don't feel awkward, you deserve this so much. Our time will come :hug: I hope that this bubba is the stickiest ever and that he/she arrives happy and healthy. :stickyvibesboy: Your levels sound fantastic! Welcome to the battered and bruised tummy club!

Congrats!!!!!!!! :confetti:

Awww thanks so much - I hope I haven't made you all feel I don't know but I am sure you know what I mean.
Alex, it has been a lonely time in the *closet* I must say. Waiting for these results has almost done my head in. Now of course I am worried the levels aren't as high as my last viable pregnancy - my obs told me it was irrelevant and she is very happy and all indicators are that the pregnancy is healthy and viable. I "feel" that it is too. However, you all know the drill - pregnancy just aint that walk in the park any more!

Thanks again so much for your words - it means so much to have you all... :hug:
Now: ::bluedust: :bluedust: :bluedust: :bluedust: for everyone!

We posted at the same time Lynn - thankyou my love... I hope that in another few weeks we are all congratulating you. :hug:

Me too! :pray: I can't wait to annouce my bfp.

I know what you mean about making others feel uncomfortable, but you have remember that we can't stay in this thread forever!!! And you shouldn't feel uncomfortable. It would be wonderful if we could all graduate together but we can't. I believe that it will happen for every single one of us, but this is your time and you shouldn't feel bad about it. You have given me so much support and I know that you will continue to even though you are now pg. I am just so happy for you and wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy. Big big :hugs:

Flowerchild - i meant to say too that i love your ticker !!! very cute and baby looks happy already !

Lynn - your BFP will be coming very soon i know it - there have been a few BFP's lately and i think it is only a matter of time (and i mean very shortly!) for eveyone to get UTD.

This is only a positive thing !

OMG Deb that is wonderful :hug:

I must admit I noticed when I asked you how the TWW was going that you didnt answer, but I am dumb and figured you had forgotten to say... but now the light bulb has turned on and I can see right through you LMAO :rolleyes:

I am also a little envious, but in a really good way. I would never take your BFP away from you, like Lynn I just wish we could graduate together but as she said it is not possible. I do know we will all get a BFP but what I dont know is when, but that is not to say that you should feel awkward about your good news - you totally deserve it and I am very happy for you. You provide all of us with so much support and although we try to support you back, we all rely on you for your knowledge to help us through. Basically, this is a TTC thread which means that you have to kind of expect some BFP's to pop up every now and then right? Everyone is gonna be wrapped for you I guarantee it!

Enjoy this little bean and dont feel bad for one second, this is something to be celebrated :confetti:

Tess - Thinking of you and Thomas today :hug:

Tommysmum - You are all welcome in my home whether we build or stay where we are... the more the merrier really ;)

Klee - Thanks for your email, out of the whole of Victoria I cannot believe you live so close :) We are going out for dinner but when I get back I will reply to your email.

Thankyou Mel :hugs: I am feeling tingles on excitement! It's a long road though and I wish too that we could all graduate together but it won't be long now and there will be another :bfp: in here I am sure! ;)

I know its a long road and that is why you still need the support of everyone, and we will all be there to see you through til the end when you hold your bubba in your arms... on one condition, that we get piccies emailed as soon as you get home from hospital ;)

Oh, speaking of emails... I am going to send you one because I wanted to discuss something with you.

Deb: I have posted to you in the pregnancy thread but here I go again

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

That is the most wonderful, exciting, amazing, beautiful news ever.

I am so happy for you. :happyforyou:

Whoo bloddy hoo

Lv Spring

Hey Guys,
Just wanted to say that in the Sydney paper today there is a story about the Big Brother drama, if anyone wants me to send them a copy of it let me know :)
The writers are really upset because the producers knew that Kate had had a stillborn baby and they still tried to do that task anyway.....very sad that they would do that.

Hey Bailey - I would love a copy if you dont mind :)

I am just about to email you my address cause you probably dont still have it - very cheeky, I am on my break :redface: