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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester April#2

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    Default TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester April#2

    If you have found yourself in this forum you no doubt have had a painful journey. TTC after recurrent miscarriage/stillbirth or Late Loss takes special courage and support. The aim of this forum is to provide a place where women who have endured loss can share their stories, friendships, treatments and triumphs!

    My greatest wish is that you all leave this forum with nice big fat positives in the shortest possible time!!!

    I hope so much that this month is YOUR month for a

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    We appreciate all your feedback as it does help to make our forums a much happier, relaxed place to chat! We will always take your comments seriously - all comments are treated confidentially...

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    You will find the previous thread here

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    lynn - good to have you back. how are you feeling?
    deb thanks for that, the obs at the appointment told me she would send the results to my GP, so I should be able to get them from her. i didn't have my obs present a midwife delivered Phoebe. As she delivered i specifically remember her saying "the cord", she then told DP, my mum and MIL that the cord was wrapped around her legs, her torso and one of her arms. Could it be because it wasn't in a knot or around other parts (sorry ladies) that she did not note cord accident in delivery notes? not that it matters as we are taking her word for it, it just makes me wonder.
    I got AF this morning so I guess I am on Day 1 of CD (sorry I am a bit new to this part), I wasn't sure if I had a visit from AF after Phoebe's birth, now I know I did as todays AF coincides with it. The only reason I ask about pre AF symptoms is that I'd never before had nausea as a symptom of it until this time.

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    Hi all,

    Ok ladies i have a question, would it be rude do you think of my DH to ask his mother to keep her trap shut? About what you ask?
    You see My SIL is pregnant and we were both due around the same time as each othe (2-3 weeks difference) and the closer i get to what would have been my due date, the more I really don't want to hear about every pain, plans, doctors visit etc, that she has from my MIL.
    I really don't think she thinks before she speaks!
    What do you ladies think?

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    I'm back....

    Hi ladies, I have read through each and every one of your posts but it is too much to condense in one email so I'll try to do personals in the next few posts.

    Canberra was good, so nice to see DH and meet his new mates. The Dawn service was a very emotional time. ANZAC day is one of the most important days in our family with Matt's Army history, we look at it as the most significant day in the entire year.

    As we were walking up to the National War Memorial, in the pre-dawn darkness, in the cold morning air and crowds of families I just started crying. It was such an overwhelming experience. Harrison was meant to be there. His Daddy was meant to be teaching him about the proud history of the ANZAC. I just couldn't compose myself and then DH gently squeezed my hand and whispered in my ear and said, babe, he is here with us, he is always here. I got it together and I was ok for a little while until an old digger got up and said the Ode, you will know it, it goes:

    They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
    Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the morning
    We will remember them.
    Lest we forget


    And all of a sudden I realised that it was so fitting for Harry. DH calls Harry his little soldier for the brave fight he fought, I am crying even just thinking about it all. I just couldn't pull myself together and the words of the ode just kept going over and over in my head.

    Anyway, it was a very emotional day and I am so glad that I got a chance to hold my DH's hand and cry on his shoulder instead of being alone.

    Oh well, time to stop being a big sook. I have to go and get my dogs from the kennel but I'll pop in later.

    Lv Spring

    Oh and Mel you don't have to beg for pics, once I scan them in I'll send you an email.

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    This is another flying visit from me - I am sorry... :sad:
    I just wanted to say your post was beautiful Spring - your little soldier is always here with you. I am so sorry... :hugs:
    I love your new ticker -it's gorgeous!
    Jo: I think it would be very okay to ask your DH to talk to your MIL about this issue. It's not something you need to be reminded of constantly. I do think it's incredibly insensitive of her - sometimes peopel just dont' think...

    I will see you all tomorrow...

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    Jo: I think that you have every right to ask your DH to talk to your MIL and tell her to shut her trap. I am astounded that she thinks you want to hear progress reports about every little niggle. She needs to know that it is insensitive.

    best of luck.

    Lv Spring

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    Hey where is everyone? Lol...you're all watching The Biggest Loser right? Ha ha, I already know who wins cos DH works in printing and they make magazines and Who mag was printed last night with an interview with the winner!! I won't spoil it with only 15 minutes to go though.

    Spring - Good to hear you had a nice time in Canberra. Anzac Day is a sad day isn't it. It's ggreat that it's not being forgotten by the younger generations though. DH is right, your little soldoer is with you always.

    jlk - I am so sorry that you have an insensitive MIL - what the hell is up with the MIL's around here? I would definetly get DH to say something, there is no reason that you should have to listen to that. Good luck with it.

    Mel - I know we all say it every month, but don't give up yet. It could still be too early. Crossing everything for you!

    Lynn - Good to see you back. It's nice to have a break isn't it? But then, it's hard to come back to reality too. Lynn, see my update below about temping etc...lol.

    Michelle - Thanks for the AF advice. I have no idea what is going on, I am hoping that the extra long cycle was just a one off, just the stress of travelling etc. If it is the same this next one, I will see someone about it. How are you feeling? Not long to go now

    Martha...oops, I mean Flowerchild - You never cease to amaze me with your wealth of knowledge and the great support and advice you give us all here. Well done and thankyou.

    Tommysmum - How is that little bubba behaving? Are you feeling sick??

    Hi to everyone else too.

    Well, I have been feeling like crap since saturday. Been feeling so down, I really started to worry that I was sinking, just felt so lost. But I decided today that I can't do this to myself or my family, so trying very hard to get myself out of it. Blah!! So, today I ordered a shi!tload of OPK's AND I went and boaught a thermometer to do that temps thingy (I have to work out how now) and I am going to borrow Tommysmums Maybe Baybe. So, if I am ovulating, I will bloody well find out this month!! Just on the thermometer, the instructions say "Temperature can be taken in the rectum, the vagina or under the toungue" Lol, like there is gonna be any debate on where I am sticking it....ha ha!
    Oooohhhh, the finale is happening now, I'll be back

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    Hey Bailey

    Sorry that you are feeling so down, just hang in there babe, hopefully you will start feeling a little happier soon.

    I was LMAO about the temping options though, let me guess, mouth? Just finished watching BB and now off to bed. A bit late for me to be up on a school night.

    I hope you are feeling a little bit better.

    Take care and hope you can make a catch up this Sunday.

    :hugs: and love
    Spring

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    Ohhhh, is there a catch up this week?? Oh, I didn't know, I think I have rello's over for a BBQ Well, not sad about the rello's, sad about missing meeting up!
    Oh and yes, my oriface of choice is the mouth

    Just a question for the temper's. Does taking temp's only tell you when you have already ovulated? I thought it told you when you were or were about to. It's not much good to me if it only tells me after as my cycles are chaos. God, I am so dumb at all this. It gives me the *****s that at school they tell you lots of [email protected] about not having sex at ANY time of the month because you CAN get pregnant at ANY time, yet in reality, you have a window of about 20 bloody seconds!! Aaargh! Well, if those cheeky eggs of mine think they are getting away from DH's swimmers, they are in for a very rude shock! Lol, sorry TMI I know!

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    Hello ladies

    Klee - just read your post above about the cord and not written in the notes. I had similar experience. However i had a massive bleed on xmas evening and raced up to hospital and Thomas was gone. They scanned over my placenta (as that is where the bleeding should have come from) but everything looked fine (i was only a little tender). At this stage we didn't know what happened but i knew it was the bleed - it was just unbelievable. Then when i delivered Tommy the next morning he was a little bruised on his face, arms, legs etc and he had the cord around his neck twice. I said "is that how he died do you think" (forgetting about the bleed that i had the night before) and the midwife said "yes it could have been". We were then in two thoughts - it must have been the cord !!! So when we saw the docs later that day they were talking about my bleed and about a possible placenta abruption and i said "what about the cord ?" to which they said "there is nothing in the notes about the cord so this wasn't an issue and babies are born with cords around their necks all the time"...hmmm..i was furious - why did the midwife tell us perhaps it was the cord but did not find it that important to write it down !!! I look back and think she only said it as she wanted to disguise the bruising (actually being the death setting in) from the cord being wrapped around him. She probably didn't want to scare us. Very ****ed off i was - i would rather the truth. Sorry if this has upset you but it is something to consider if and when you get the chance to ask more questions.

    Lynn - welcome back from hol's -good to see you had a nice break and go DH for doing those injections. Can't wait to see how you go with it all.

    Bailey - hope you are doing better now and definitely stick "it" in the mouth ! I have Maybe Baby ready for you - but i won't be at Playgroup on Tuesday i might drop it around if i don't see you on Sunday.

    Hello to everyone else - sorry haven't had a chance to read all posts. Hope everyone is well.

    I had my first official scan with ob yesterday (yes, 2 vaginal scans in 3 days - how exciting has that been) and i saw the blur beating away again. He put my dates back again to 7+2 as of today (whereas i thought i was 8 weeks going off my dates) according to "when we conceived". Interesting as i (via midwives) have gone off LMP. Anyway i have another scan in 2 weeks - to confirm that all looks good - he says that generally after 9 weeks there is less chance of miscarriage so that is reassuring. I always thought it was 12-13 weeks (but the more i read and here it seems to be that it can take weeks before your realise you are miscarrying thus the extra weeks)...learn something everyday !

    Must go - will jump back on later - little miss is pulling me away to go "shopping" but there is nothing open !!!

  12. #12

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    Bailey - I am sorry that you feel like crap. I hope you are feeling a little bit better today. You are right, the temping tells you when you have ovulated. You will need to chart your temps every day and you will be able to see a pattern once you have ovulated as your temps increase. They stay increased until AF arrives. Temping won't tell you when you are about to ovulate, you will need to use the opks for that. It is just good to know when you are ovulating so you can work out when is the best time to bed next cycle (if they are the same). It is all very confusing and I have to agree about being told about the not falling pg. I said to my mum the other week, you told me how not to fall pg, why couldn't you tell me how to fall pg!!!! It is funny looking back now and seeing how careful we are when the chance of falling pg is so small!!!!!!

    Deb - how are you going? Have you started testing yet? that this is your month.

    Jo - I think that you should talk to your mil and tell her that you find the comments insensitive. Unfortunately people around us don't think before they speak and it can be frustrating. I'm sorry she is making you feel like this.

    Klee - I'm sorry that you are confused about Phoebe's passing. I think it might be best to speak with your ob and get him to find out the reason so at least you know. Yes CD1 is when AF arrives as long as it isn't just spotting. I hope she is kind to you.

    Tommysmum - I'm so happy to hear that your scan went well. I have found that I have learnt so much in this journey. Not only about Stillbirths but also about infertility. While I wish I knew nothing about both of them, I do actually find the female body very interesting. I guess I need to know what is going on with me so I have asked the questions and done research. It would be a lot easier if we were all made the same! Have fun shopping if you get there.

    Spring - it sounds as though you had an emotional day in Canberra. DH is right, your little soldier is always with you and he would have guided and helped you through the day. Thanks for the pics of lil Spring - wow half way! I can't believe how fast the time as gone. I hope you are doing ok. Is DH back this weekend?

    Mel - sorry we didn't chat last night. I didn't get home until late and then cooked dinner and then watched BL. I didn't realise it finished so late. I hope you are doing ok today. Have you done another test??? I know it is hard (from one test junkie to another) but try to wait until tomorrow or Sunday. Let me know how you go. How's the house stuff going?

    Well my poor tummy is bruised and now I have a skin infection from the bandaids!!! I have sensitive skin and obviously it doesn't like the sticky stuff on bandaids because I have these red marks everywhere! My tummy looks a treat!

    I got my bt results back from my bt yesterday. Est is 203 which is better than 83 which is what it was last cycle on CD9. Not getting too excited just yet. Last cycle the levels went up and then down. I am having another bt on Sunday so hopefully the levels have gone up.

    Have a good day
    Luv & Hugs
    Lynn
    xxxxxxxxxxxx
    Last edited by Lynn; April 27th, 2007 at 04:37 PM.

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    Just a quickie as waiting for DH to come in so we can head up to Lake Taupo for the weekend, meeting friends at their bach - I'm thinking.....sun, shores, waves, BBQ, fishing but it's bound to be....rain, washed out BBQ, fish and chips!!!!

    Spring - sounds like your little soldier watched over you and Lil Spring in Canberra, I'm sure he know his lil brother/sister is doing just fine

    Bailey - am thinking of you lots - I just can't get to grips with temping at all and usually just OPK to the hilt (works though!!), got it crossed for you!

    Jo - absolutely no question, speak out now!! Go...do it now!!

    Klee - am hoping someone can give you clarification, at least about what you know you heard, I know how it feels to replay conversations in your head, very draining

    Tommysmum - Yay, great result on the scan - did your little Shopper manage to get any purchases out of you??

    Deb - hope you are doing well, I now have a mental picture of you very serenley slow cooking your way through Thursdays!!!

    Lynn- sorry I won't be around tomorrow but hope Cooper's 5-month birthday is the best it can be for you, I'm sure he'll be blowing kisses down for your poor bruised tummy tomorrow xxxx

    Hi to everyone I have missed, may the weekend treat you well

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    Hi Girls

    Lynn: Great news about the levels, 203 compared to 83 is fantastic. I hope those levels keep rising and your follies are growing nice and strong. Hopefully Sunday's BT brings even better results. I hope your poor bruised and battered belly is better. I get allergic reactions to bandaides. You can get hyper-allergenic ones if they are a little better for you.

    HeybackO: Wow, your weekend sounds wonderful. I hope you have a great time and don't get washed out.

    Tommysmum: wow you must be so relieved to see that little heartbeat pumping away. Transvaginal scans are just charming arn't they but it is all worth it when you see your little bean. Don't worry too much about your dates, I have been told that the best scan in terms of dates is your 12 week one. My dates were a few out at my 19 week scan and they didn't adjust my EDD because the 12 week was more accurate.

    Bailey: hey hon, hope you are feeling better and that you are getting the hang of the tempting. Watch out Bailey's eggies, she has a hit out on you and there is no way you are going to escape this month

    Mel: I see from you ticker that you are approaching testville again. Best of luck to you babe, I want a BFP so bad for you. Pop in when you feel like it and tell us how you are, take care hon.

    Klee: I am sorry for the worry that you are going through about Phoebe and her cord, it doesn't seem fair does it. About your AF being different, my AF after Harrison was born were so different to before. It seemed like my body had totally changed so I wouldn't be surprised that you got a big nauseous, I guess your body has been some major changes in the last few months. I hope this month is your month.

    Deb: The TWW must be almost up for you also. As Lynn said, this will be your month. You have inspired me with your slow cooker endeavours. I am going to put Minestrone (sp?) soup on tomorrow and let it bubble away all day. Then I am going to make some home made damper to go with it. I figure DH is away this weekend so a warm bowl of soup and some hot bread is the next best thing to a cuddle.

    Jo: Have you approached the MIL? Boy there is something about MIL in this group isn't there? I am sure they were sent here to test us. Well if anything, we learn from them how NOT to be a MIL (lol)

    Well another weekend without DH for me only 6 weeks today until he is home Whoo Bloody Hoo. Considering we started with 19 weeks it is getting close. My two dogs are curled up at my feet at the moment snoring their heads off and I am about to have a shower and call it a night. Still recovering from getting up at 3.30am on ANZAC day. On a good note, I told my big boss about Lil' Spring today and he was awesome, I couldn't have asked for a better reaction. He is very family friendly and was already talking about me working from home a few days a week towards the end of my pregnancy to save me travelling. So I am telling the rest of my collegues at our weekly meeting on Monday morning, and then I can finally stop sucking my tummy in and let it all hang out. Whoo Hoo it will be nice to be out of the closet (lol)

    Well I might hang around a little longer then for me.

    Hi to everyone else and I hope you have a sensational weekend.

    Big love
    Spring

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    Hey Spring,

    I am so happy that you have told your boss and he is so happy for you. It must be good to be telling people. I can't believe you have managed to hide it to 19 weeks. I hope I can do the same. Let it all hang out babe, and be proud!!!!

    I am a bit nervous about Sunday. I am just scared that nothing is happening again like last month. I hope I am wrong, but I don't want to get my hopes up like last month to be kicked down. I am staying positive though, just not excited yet. I will be excited when I have a scan and am told there are some nice big follies there waiting to burst.

    Thanks for the tip on the bandaids. It doesn't bleed that much so I should be ok without them.

    Thanks for the pics of lil Spring - he is so cute!!!! Am I right.................he????? Just kidding. I know you want to keep it a secret from us

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    Lynn I don't blame you for being nervous about Sunday. I can drive you there if you would like but I will have to wait outside, no use me fainting in sympathy (lol)

    Ah and very funny with the predictions, you are almost as bad as Mel Sorry, not going to give up if this one is a pink or a blue. But nice try though.

    Let me know if you need some company on Sunday moring for the BT, if not I'll see you during the day anyway.

    Luv Spring

  17. #17

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    Thanks for the offer to come with me for the bt. The bt isn't the bad part it is waiting all day for the results. I usually get them around 3pm. If we are catching up then I might need your support when I get the results. that they are all good!

    If I guess right will you tell me...........................he he

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    We can hang out for the results and when they are awesome we can do the happy dance together.

    I just posted to you in the catch up thread about Sunday. I have no plans so let me know what time suits you best. I was thinking another date with a movie and cup of tea afterwards but if you had something else in mind I am easy.

    Oh and the only thing I can guarantee if you guess a gender is that there is a 50% chance that you are right (lol)

    Lv Spring

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