Friend having twins ... What can i DO to help her ??

[smiles4u]

Hi all,

So sorry if it sounds like a blaze question but i guess i'd rather be prepared now and get some ideas.

My DD who is 3.5 her best friend she has known since she was 4mths old (they are two months apart in age) well her Mother is pregnant with twins which are due in August.

I'm pretty sure she is still in shock and i get the feeling she has grave concerns of how she will cope ... to begin with her DH didn't do alot to help her with her DD when a baby (eg, he wouldn't change nappies) ... he only works part-time and enjoys doing so at 55years of age (she is early 30's), they have concerns now of how they will cope financially in the long run and that their house they recently purchased is far too small.
My DP & i get the feeling that they may have wished they had only put in one egg via the help with IVF and not two. We are not the closest of friends and she only tried for a few months to fall pregnant whereas we had been trying until recently for 2.5years.

I don't want her to feel guilty about being pregnant around me which she has mentioned if anything i'm clearly so excited for them but also worried about how she will cope so on that note can you lovely ladies PLEASE give me some ideas as to what she is to expect with twins (and what reactions might be expected of her nearly 4year old) and more importantly what can i do to help her ?? Any suggestions or tips would be so greatly appreciated (she doesn't know i'm asking and i'd rather she didn't know i was here asking IYKWIM)

TIA for any helpful ideas, etc

[Persephone1]

My SIL has twins, so I can't speak of my own direct experience. One of my colleagues has 15 y/o triplets.

Both my SIL and my work colleague have said that their membership to the Multiple Births Association is by far the most valuable support they received before and after the births of their bubs. I know my SIL still gets support from her multiples mothers group. Perhaps you could put your friend in touch with her local MBA, or buy her a membership (I don't know what, if any, their fees are).

Um....other than that, my DH and I steered clear of buying too much "stuff" for my SIL because she had so much given to her already. Instead, we gave her and her DH gift vouchers for Myer or Target, to try and allow them to buy what they needed that might not have already been given to them.

GL to her and her family.

[Nai]

Cooking easy freeze and re-heat meals that she can eat one-handed as she won't have time for cooking.

Arrange to take her oldest child out with your DD a couple of times a week even for an hour so she has some break times.

Get her a big whiteboard with textas so that she can write notes and organise herself eg. writing when each twin fed, slept etc so she can keep track.

Offer to mind the twins for 15 min each day so that she can have a shower.

Tahnt's all I can think of at the moment.

[Leonie P]

Cooking easy freeze and re-heat meals that she can eat one-handed as she won't have time for cooking.

Arrange to take her oldest child out with your DD a couple of times a week even for an hour so she has some break times.

Get her a big whiteboard with textas so that she can write notes and organise herself eg. writing when each twin fed, slept etc so she can keep track.

Offer to mind the twins for 15 min each day so that she can have a shower.

Tahnt's all I can think of at the moment.

:goodidea Yep what she said ESP the meal thing. Also even offer to just be in the house to watch the kids so she can have a sleep.

[smiles4u]

............... Thanks heaps lovely ladies, some fab ideas there (Nai, i love the idea of the whiteboard )

Her DD will start 4year old Kinder this year so that will help that she will be in Kinder 4hours x 3days per week ... so i guess the days she has her at home i could take her DD for awhile to play with my DD (only prob her DD is clingy, she won't even stay with her Nan for long so i'm hoping that will change soon ... whenever i see her now i've noticed she sits on my lap more for cuddles).

Anymore ideas please feel free to throw 'em my way as have some time as twins are due August

[rhyb]

Big thing here is I ask friends with kids around DS' age to come around and bring their LOs. It gives DS someone to play with so I can focus on the girls. Might sound crazy but it works for me.