Pregnant 10wks with twins. Dh want divorce n abortion

**csab** · December 4th, 2012, 06:58 PM

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, it isn't fair and yes men can be selfish. You are hurting right now honey, I can feel your pain. Let me tell you something, your dh will regret his decision eventually, but unfortunately for him it may be too late. He is not a man, he is letting his insecurities hurt you and to expect you to abort your babies is horrible. You want these babies, and you will give them the love they need. There is help out there.
He may not want these babies, but don't let him intimidate you, it won't be him who lays there crying about losing your babies, it won't be him, wondering what they would have looked like and whether you made the right decision. It would be you beating yourself up everyday, your the one who has them growing in you, your the one that has loved them from the moment they were created. That love and attachment just gets stronger. So your dh may want to be alone, until the next woman he meets then does the same thing to her, but honey he has given you something so precious, your babies. They are the most important gift that he has ever given you, don't let him take that away from you too. He may not want the responsibility of being a husband and a father, but let me tell you he is the one that will be missing out.
I wish you all the love and support and hope all goes well for you tomorrow with the counsellor.
Just remember, hold your head up high, as you are going to be a strong independent woman, and a wonderful mother. I won't say that it will be easy, but being a mother is a wonderful thing.
Just while you are hurting and overcome with sadness and feeling of abandonment, don't rush into any decisions, make sure you think everything through, and don't let anyone make your mind up for you, this is your decision, your dh doesn't have a right over you and the decisions you make, especially now that he has made his own decision to walk away from your vows. You make the decisions that is right for you and what you can live with.
I'm thinking of you, and honestly I do hope your dh wakes upto himself, but you need to think of yourself right now.

Take care and I'm so glad your babies are ok.

**Ryatha** · December 4th, 2012, 07:08 PM

Hey, just want to add it is possible. I found myself pregnant with two older kids an the dad wanting me to abort the baby or at least adopt it out. I refused and let my family and friends know my situation. I was surrounded by love and support and the generosity of everyone. Clothes, bedding, toys, nappies and pretty much everything you can think of. Many of the bb ladies were a great support, let people help.

Really glad to hear that the scan went well.

**diannescruffy** · December 4th, 2012, 07:22 PM

So glad your babies are doing well xxx.

Regards,
Dianne

**Chrispe** · December 4th, 2012, 07:26 PM

Glad to hear your little babies are doing well!

**Rowellen** · December 4th, 2012, 07:46 PM

I second what ryatha said. While I haven't been in your situation myself, I work with a lady whose husband left her when she was pg with twins. They had two older kids as well so she was doing it tough for a while. Her twins are now three, their "father" has nothing to do with them and she is now engaged to another man. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You might have a hard road ahead, but you will get there. I'm glad the scan went well too.

**little_mrs** · December 4th, 2012, 10:04 PM

Good to hear bubs are ok. With your dumb husband, tell him YES change your "oh so important Facebook status" to single and divorce his arse properly before he can hide anymore assets that your entitled too. If Facebook is more important than how your scan went then im sorry hun but he's not worth the stress, your better off without him.

**Butterfly Dawn** · December 4th, 2012, 10:58 PM

Glad your babys are ok

time to lawyer up and kick his butt legally. Go for everything! but don't take less then half. Its his decision to split and his request to abort so fully argue the pre-nump.

**lady_neon** · December 4th, 2012, 11:02 PM

Hey QL sorry I have not been on for a while. Do you have Facebook? I can search for you and add you.

**Queenluxury** · December 5th, 2012, 12:21 AM

Hey QL sorry I have not been on for a while. Do you have Facebook? I can search for you and add you.

I'm not sure if I'm allow to post my name on here? Lol but here is my another fb account that I use to play game " twinkly bubblez duong " I got my two little dogs as my profile picture

**Queenluxury** · December 5th, 2012, 12:29 AM

B4 he went out for a drink with his mates, he asked me how the scan grand when I told him that they both doing fine. They were so active and couldn't stop dancing inside my womb.
" I don't feel like go out anymore " he said so I asked him why is that?

" the babies thing kinda kill my mood " O_O I'm speechless.... He wasn't the man I fall in love with 5 yrs ago. I don't know who he is anymore.

I'm so upset that I have to go through this pregnancy alone. It suppose to be the time to enjoy n feel bless together. Now every ob appointment or birth class i will have to go by myself...

After all this bs he put me through, I still couldn't hate him. Why I still sitting here feel sorry for myself for not having him to support me? When I should be angry, mad n hate him for putting me through this...

**lady_neon** · December 5th, 2012, 04:33 AM

I'm not sure if I'm allow to post my name on here? Lol but here is my another fb account that I use to play game " twinkly bubblez duong " I got my two little dogs as my profile picture

Sent you an FB message.

**Queenluxury** · December 5th, 2012, 09:56 AM

I'm not sure if I'm allow to post my name on here? Lol but here is my another fb account that I use to play game " twinkly bubblez duong " I got my two little dogs as my profile picture

Sent you an FB message.

Got it hun but couldn't add u from another account. So I add u on that one I use it to talk to my mum

I think it has something to do with ur setting

and can't msg u neither .

**jellybean88** · December 5th, 2012, 10:18 AM

I think feeling any hate towards him although understandable would be counter productive and he isn't worth wasting the emotional energy on how did counseling go?

**diannescruffy** · December 5th, 2012, 10:49 AM

Please feel free to add me on Facebook if you like, there is a facebook icon under my username, thinking of you xx.

Regards,
Dianne

**k4t** · December 5th, 2012, 11:27 AM

I glad your scan went well. Thinking of you and your DumbH. :support:

**csab** · December 5th, 2012, 12:15 PM

Please don't worry about feeling bad about your dh, how can you? You are in love with this man, otherwise I'm sure you wouldn't have married him. You are not expected to fall out of love with him instantly. You are on an emotional roller coaster right now, your feelings are hurt, your confused and most of all you are in shock. Don't be hard on yourself, you will have a love for him for a while no doubt, so please don't be hard on yourself. What he has done is not your fault, he is responsible for your pain, he is responsible for the choices he makes, whether good or bad. Just look after yourself, try to at least, when you are so depressed it is very hard, but please do try.

**Queenluxury** · December 5th, 2012, 01:32 PM

Please feel free to add me on Facebook if you like, there is a facebook icon under my username, thinking of you xx.

Regards,
Dianne

I can't.

every time I clicked it, it will bring me to Facebook page " expired link or mistype address "

**Queenluxury** · December 5th, 2012, 01:49 PM

Please don't worry about feeling bad about your dh, how can you? You are in love with this man, otherwise I'm sure you wouldn't have married him. You are not expected to fall out of love with him instantly. You are on an emotional roller coaster right now, your feelings are hurt, your confused and most of all you are in shock. Don't be hard on yourself, you will have a love for him for a while no doubt, so please don't be hard on yourself. What he has done is not your fault, he is responsible for your pain, he is responsible for the choices he makes, whether good or bad. Just look after yourself, try to at least, when you are so depressed it is very hard, but please do try.

Thanks darl

u r absolutely right.
I think I only hold on because im afraid of what will happen when I let go. I just need to slowly put the past behind, forgets everything I ever felt and move on. I'm hurt and torn. I gave him my life & he destroyed it. Time will heal... Sooner or later I will be ok without him in my life