Pregnant 10wks with twins. Dh want divorce n abortion

**Butterfly Dawn** · December 17th, 2012, 03:14 PM

Please go see a lawyer soon. Just so you know what your rights are. So you can do what's best for you and your babys.

**k4t** · December 17th, 2012, 05:25 PM

I have to agree with a couple of recent posts - researching and buying baby stuff is one of the fun parts of pregnancy but I wish I'd spent as much time and effort on boring things like a long term budget and career planning as I did on choosing the perfect stroller etc. (And I have a fraction of the issues you have to deal with.) It's easy to waste hours on the Internet researching and bargain hunting but make sure you have all the practical, legal and financial stuff covered first.

**surprised** · December 17th, 2012, 05:28 PM

Hun you've had a lot of people (in many cases people with personal or professional experience in family law) recommending you speak to a lawyer ASAP. How are you going with that? You've got plenty of time for shopping, but you really need to sort out the legals.

**Queenluxury** · December 17th, 2012, 10:28 PM

I already have my legal problem sorted. Thanks ladies!
As of now if I want to have roof over my head until my babies born, Im smart enough not to mention anything about prenup or any legal issue with H.... Not yet anyway
My prenup covered everything!! N I mean every single dollar of his.... He was a clever man
I will just have to wait for the babies are born then take further step.

I don't want any of his assets or money as long as he agree to pay decent amount of child support. I didn't contribute any money into his business or his mortgage therefore I don't feel it right to take what his. Everything he had now, he had before he marry me. That was why I agree to sign the prenup. I will talk to him about child support when I nearly due. I hope he will agree with the amount I will ask him so we don't have to go to court.

**thirdtimelucky77** · December 17th, 2012, 10:39 PM

I agree and babies are often exempt from pre nups so while he may not have to pay you - his offspring will need to be supported.

He must be rich or his family rich if you have a prenuptial?

X

**Lenny** · December 18th, 2012, 06:07 AM

I already have my legal problem sorted. Thanks ladies!
As of now if I want to have roof over my head until my babies born, Im smart enough not to mention anything about prenup or any legal issue with H.... Not yet anyway

I don't understand how you say you have your legal issues sorted if you are still tippy toeing around your H, and don't have concrete plans on where you will live. I wouldn't worry about a roof over your head now - i would be ensuring that you have a roof over your head long after your babies are born.

A budget, a guaranteed income (from whatever source), practical help and advice from multiple birth groups etc.

**Lenny** · December 18th, 2012, 06:08 AM

Double post

**peanutter** · December 18th, 2012, 09:27 AM

I don't understand how you can be thinking your legal affairs are sorted out ... ?

I also think it's quite premature to be looking to get car seats if you only have a few dollars in the account and no real way of knowing whether you'll have a car by the time the babies arrive, or whether the regulations about car seats will still be what they are.

You need some independent legal advice before you do anything else, and some financial counselling. You also need to know whether you're actually getting divorced, and what your rights and obligations are.

You don't want to find out in a years time from a lawyer on your side that the prenup was invalid, or that you were entitled to money due to non-financial contributions you made to the household, or that the kids were in fact entitled to something, or that the prenup didn't kick in until after the divorce was final.

And I assume you also don't want yourt husband to turn around six weeks, months or years after the babies are born and try to take custody of them, or to go overseas on a holiday and not bring them back.

You owe it to your kids as well as yourself to go and get some independent legal advice.

It's more important than anything else at the moment, to be honest, and way more important to get sorted out before buying car seats for twins who aren't close to being born yet, for a car you don't have.

Also, while there have been a lot of general offers that people are willing to help you out (because we're a lovely group of loving and generous people) while you're in this dreadful situation, please be aware that as you have elected not to give out your real name, and have only friended people on FB using an alias, most people will be cautious about helping you.

I strongly suspect that no one from here will actually send you anything at all until other people we know and trust and respect have met you face to face.

Don't take it personally, but because some awful, opportunistic people prey upon trusting and generous people by putting out a post with a sad tale, and people then want to help and send goods, which the villain then runs off and flogs on ebay.

People on this forum have been burnt more than once by this, and so now exercise a degree of caution. I'm sure you understand, and that you'd do exactly the same thing - as any wise woman would.

Again - don't take it personally, and I'm sure no one suspects you personally would ever lie about something so dreadful, but as no one here actually knows you yet, that's just the way things happen.

Can I suggest that you take the time to meet some of the ladies here in real life? This is particularly good for you, as it certainly sounds like you could do with some in real life support.

And it will give you a lovely chance to show off your baby bump! With twins, you must have a wonderful little bump I'm sure you'd love to be showing off by now. And you'll also meet some other friendly, lovely mummas and their babies - which gives you a ready-made little village, with people for the twins to play with then they arrive.

I just thought I'd take the time and trouble to post this, so you will better understand why perhaps you haven't been receiving free items, etc. After being burnt quite a few times, we just need to be cautious.

I'm sure you understand.

Plesae get some independent legal advice. Start things right. Get some financial advice. Get your own place. Meet some people face to face, and get a support network happening.

All the very best.

**Butterfly Dawn** · December 18th, 2012, 09:36 AM

Nutter said everything I wanted to

ladys here have been abandoned by husbands and left in bad situations only to have to fight for custody later on.
Don't be nieve. See a lawyer now. So you KNOW. Once the children are born, things can change fast. Its not so cut and dry- we separated so the babies are mine, doesn't work that way.

Knowledge is power. Educate yourself for your sake and your babies, please.

Once you meet some ladies in real life you will have a real network to draw on

**mrscricket** · December 18th, 2012, 09:40 AM

Great post PN.

Please don't wait until the babies 'are nearly here' before you sort anything out. Twins mostly don't obey instructions and come on their due dates. Mine were 5 weeks early and required 3 weeks in hospital. Then we were home to the absolutely busy/crazy times that involve 2 babies. Twins are wonderful but almost 2 years later, I am still in a bit of a fog and probably couldn't get my head around legal matters most days. Please do something now.

**Butterfly Dawn** · December 18th, 2012, 09:44 AM

You don't have to tell him or talk legal stuff to him. But to know is wise

**diannescruffy** · December 18th, 2012, 10:08 AM

Great advice Peanutter. You say your husband has allowed you to stay in the house until the babies are born, what if he changes his mind? What if he kicks you out in a few months time? Have you seen if you can get into the Public Housing System? At least that way you have something secure for yourself and your babies.

Regards,
Dianne

**Queenluxury** · December 18th, 2012, 10:54 AM

I don't understand how you can be thinking your legal affairs are sorted out ... ?

I also think it's quite premature to be looking to get car seats if you only have a few dollars in the account and no real way of knowing whether you'll have a car by the time the babies arrive, or whether the regulations about car seats will still be what they are.

You need some independent legal advice before you do anything else, and some financial counselling. You also need to know whether you're actually getting divorced, and what your rights and obligations are.

You don't want to find out in a years time from a lawyer on your side that the prenup was invalid, or that you were entitled to money due to non-financial contributions you made to the household, or that the kids were in fact entitled to something, or that the prenup didn't kick in until after the divorce was final.

And I assume you also don't want yourt husband to turn around six weeks, months or years after the babies are born and try to take custody of them, or to go overseas on a holiday and not bring them back.

You owe it to your kids as well as yourself to go and get some independent legal advice.

It's more important than anything else at the moment, to be honest, and way more important to get sorted out before buying car seats for twins who aren't close to being born yet, for a car you don't have.

Also, while there have been a lot of general offers that people are willing to help you out (because we're a lovely group of loving and generous people) while you're in this dreadful situation, please be aware that as you have elected not to give out your real name, and have only friended people on FB using an alias, most people will be cautious about helping you.

I strongly suspect that no one from here will actually send you anything at all until other people we know and trust and respect have met you face to face.

Don't take it personally, but because some awful, opportunistic people prey upon trusting and generous people by putting out a post with a sad tale, and people then want to help and send goods, which the villain then runs off and flogs on ebay.

People on this forum have been burnt more than once by this, and so now exercise a degree of caution. I'm sure you understand, and that you'd do exactly the same thing - as any wise woman would.

Again - don't take it personally, and I'm sure no one suspects you personally would ever lie about something so dreadful, but as no one here actually knows you yet, that's just the way things happen.

Can I suggest that you take the time to meet some of the ladies here in real life? This is particularly good for you, as it certainly sounds like you could do with some in real life support.

And it will give you a lovely chance to show off your baby bump! With twins, you must have a wonderful little bump I'm sure you'd love to be showing off by now. And you'll also meet some other friendly, lovely mummas and their babies - which gives you a ready-made little village, with people for the twins to play with then they arrive.

I just thought I'd take the time and trouble to post this, so you will better understand why perhaps you haven't been receiving free items, etc. After being burnt quite a few times, we just need to be cautious.

I'm sure you understand.

Plesae get some independent legal advice. Start things right. Get some financial advice. Get your own place. Meet some people face to face, and get a support network happening.

All the very best.

Thanks for your comment PN.
I actually feel insulted for u to mention about using alias on fb. I meant to msg ladyneon on fb for to discuss when I want to hv a cuppa with her. I didn't want to post my real name on here because this is public forum!!
Anyone can read my comment!! Who k ow my old work mate could have been on same forum and reading this.
Yes I'm sad and depressed but I didn't want the whole world to know who is this sad pathetic woman is.

When ladyneon msg me on my fb which I creat to talk to my mum only, I already told her I was trying to use my real name account to add her but I couldn't , since she set her private .

Email that I use to email Dane was my email which use to log in my real name fb account. If she were gonna search for me, she would see my profile. I didn't hide anything.

Yes I still tip toe around my H.
"If the parties separate and at that time they are residing in a residence owned by H prior to the date of this agreement, I shall vacate that residence within 30 days forechecking a written demand from H that she do so"

If I shouldn't worry about roof over my head now, where I suppose to go live???

To be honest, I never thought of that why no one send me anything. I didn't expect them to.
U talking like I only post this to ask people for free stuff. I grow up in wealthy family, unfortunately my dad bankrupt and lose everything 3-4 yrs ago. What my H has mostly it's mortgage and loan but he earned quite a bit of $$ so we have lot extra money to spend.
I never once have to ask anything from anyone in my entire life. I never step my foot inside 2nd hand store.
I don't buy stuff from gumtree.
All my clothes are all brand name and cost over $100-200 a piece which I'm trying to sell on Ebay right now. I just recently sold my 5k Chanel bag to a friend for 3.5k so I can save that money toward rent bond or car. My life changed so much in past few weeks and I'm ok with that because I know I'm doing it for my babies.

The reason for my post isn't to get donation!! Never!!
So I don't care if you ladies think I'm fake and pretend all this sad story. I had been through enough. I don't think I need this to make me more upset.

I might be weird and people probably think I'm crazy for not wanting any part of my H assets or money but I know I didn't help him contribute anything.
He might be an as-hole but he was a hard working man. Sometimes working from 5.30am to 7pm while I'm watching tv n shopping online at home all day.
Half of his assets are under his and his mother name. They are both working at their family business.
All things he had now, he has been working for it for 8-9 yrs. I don't believe in forcing him ( by court or law ) to give what his to me or to babies when he doesn't want to.
I'm happy just to get lawyer to draw up an agreement for him to pay me child support $400 a week.

This will be my last post on here. Thanks for all the supports ladies. Cheers!!

**sahbear** · December 18th, 2012, 11:01 AM

Great post nutter. What you wrote I have attempted to write on this thread on many occasions but havent been able to put it as eloquently as you have.

Queenluxury - its a shame you havent read the post that peanutter wrote, with the intention it had.

There have been many offers of help here - emotionally and materialistic - and its unfortunate you will turn your nose up to these, by reacting the way you have to one post.

All the best to you.

**Queenluxury** · December 18th, 2012, 11:51 AM

The intention that want me to post my real name here for the whole world to read????
No thanks!
FYI I email Dane about meeting up with her to see her little twins girl but I never get a reply back. My email clearly show my real name.
For the last time, I didn't post this tread to ask for donation. I have the right not to post my real name here. If i love for million of people to know my face and my sad sack life story, then I probably would. Mind you I didn't live in the forest, I'm sure some of people I know use this forum also. There are some people I don't need them to know what's going on with my life and I want to keep it that way.

So many times I donated stuff I don't use to people. I don't care they will keep it for themselves or re sell it to get money on gumtree. I already done my part which I think it's good enough, i willing to help people. What they do with the stuff I give to them is up to them.
I didn't donate because expect anything in return.

**forshelby** · December 18th, 2012, 11:52 AM

Your defensive attitude is alarming and confusing.

**diannescruffy** · December 18th, 2012, 12:22 PM

After the way your husband has and will continue to treat you I would be fighting for half of everything, pre-nup or not. When myself and DH got married he had nothing, our house was left to me when my parents passed away, I payed for our wedding but that means nothing because when we wed we became one and everything became "ours" not "mine". How can you even be sure he will pay child support when you said previously that he will put all his assets into the names of a family member. You need to put yourself and your babies future first.

Regards,
Dianne

**little_O** · December 18th, 2012, 01:22 PM

Queenluxury I don't think peanutter was meaning to offend you. From what I understand she was referring to your alias on fb, not here. I maintain anonymity for the same reasons as you.

What I think peanutter was meaning is that obviously some people have been used for their kindness and therefore show exta precaution when offering on here. What she was saying if you are open with them on fb (not bb) you will be able to get more support. She wasn't meaning to accuse you ( from what I understood here). Everyone feels for you and wants what is best for you. Many women have been through something similar to you. They have the benefit of hindsight and that's what they are trying to help with. They don't want you to end up worse off than you should.

I understand the feeling of not being used to having to accept help, but I can see how touching it is for so many strangers to want to give and help you.

Don't push these women away when they are trying to be the best help they can at the moment. I know you would be feeling all over the place right now, but I am sure it wasnt intended to accuse or hurt you.

Hang in there Hun!