Hi k4t,

When my sister had her first two (14 and 12 years ago) she persuaded her DH to agree to have me there as a 'support person'. He wasn't keen, but after the event, and still even today, he raves about how great it was having two of us there. My sister had a very demanding birth, and two of us meant there was a little bit more to go around in terms of holding the water ready to sip, holding her hand, holding the gas mask handy when she reached for it, rubbing her low back, and keeping the fan directed at her face, all at the same time. And it meant we could take a coffee or toilet break ourselves, without leaving her alone. When her second was due, her DH suggested they ask me again.

You could discuss it with him in terms of having a support person there to back him him, to make sure you never have to be alone if he needs a few minutes out, and having already discussed the people you know you don't want there, prompt the suggestion of a professional support person, instead of a friend or family member.