Do I need a doula?

[BekZ]

Hello Ladies,

Do I really need to have a doula? This will be my 3rd birth and I have thought about having a doula present but I don't know if I really need one. My last birth was very short and I handled most it quite well by myself. Although looking back there were little things that I missed out on for instance, it would have been nice to have someone get me a drink, help me get on the bed to actually birth.

Plus after DD's birth I had surgery and needed to recover but DH had to run home to DD1 so I missed out on having a shower until the next day. I had no one to hold bub so that I could get myself together.

The sticking point for me is that I like to do everything myself and I get really embaressed if I have a to rely on others..Even whilst in labour I find it hard to let others comfort me so I am not sure how much support I would actually let someone give me. I am that bad that I apoligise for making too much noise!!! Am I making sense?

[amberj]

Hm, I think doulas are absolutely wonderful, but you definately need someone you can be relaxed around so you can accept their help. Otherwise it will possibly end up being more stressful on you as you feel awkward with someone else helping you (I know this feeling....I feel a bit guilty about someone else helping me).

If you think you can get past being uncomfortable about the help, I would say absolutely go for it. A doula is not only there for emotional support (which it sounds like you have covered), but practical help as well- which with two other kids I am very sure you could use!

Anyhow, that's just my experience with a doula- an actual doula could probably answer you better!

[SamiH]

I jsut had a doula for the first time for my 3rd baby - WOW what a difference. I would never do it by myself again - if there was an again!! ....

I remember when she was giving me water inbetween some big contractions and I was polite and kept saying thank you after each sip - she very firmly told me to stop thanking her cos I was doing all the work - it was great not to worry about hubby, getting my water, telling hubby heat pack duty etc - it was just all magically done for me.

I had a beautiful labour and natural birth

[Tanya]

Bek, even a student doula... then it will have little if no cost.... sounds like you have a lot to offer as well

[BekZ]

Thanks Ladies for your response. I was considering a student doula Tanya.

I actually had a trainee paramedic present at DD1's birth and she was great with taking photos etc. Plus it was the first birth she had ever seen and it blew her mind away.

[Liz]

BekZ - you would get to know your doula before the birth, so it wouldn't be a stranger coming in with you. I think it's a great idea, and I'd probably consider one myself if there's a next time. Not that anything was wrong with my previous births, but I'm not inclined to be active, I have no inclination to get up and moving when I'm in labour, nor to use the shower or anything! So I think if I had a doula supporting me I might be more encouraged to get up and moving.