To Doula or not to Doula..

[[M]umma[M]ia]

Im really in 2 minds at the moment to whether I will hire a Doula.

Heres my pro and cons lists -

Pros -
It will be nice for DF to have someone there as he found me a little hard to deal with last time as he really didnt know what to do (it was the situation he was shoved into, bad curcumstances).
I like the idea of having another one there to battle with me against midwives etc for my VBAC.
Most Doula's are very pro breastfeeding and Im hoping whom (if) i choose will help make sure I get my skin on skin contact and first successful breastfeed before going home.

Cons -

Im giving birth an hour away, do Doula's travel?
We dont have alot of money, so will I be paying for something thats not right for me? How much do they really cost?
After losing 46 kg, I dont look all that smashing naked with all the loose skin, will I feel uncomfortable in front of a "stranger"?
Can doula's take photos of the first moments with bub? Is that an extra cost?


Thanks for listening to my ramblings

[LionsandBears]

I'm biased. We had an IM and would never go without. It was her advocacy that allowed us to have a vaginal breech instead of a c/s. Her presence also meant DH could have a break when needed or he could concentrate on me whilst she was dealing with the powers that be.

About your cons:
Im giving birth an hour away, do Doula's travel?
Some do - ask.

We dont have alot of money, so will I be paying for something thats not right for me? How much do they really cost?
You need to ask. There's a few listed on BB. Personally I think an independent birth attendent is worth the cost. If you want an IM for the birth, you're looking at $1000-1500. Not sure about doulas. $500-1000?

After losing 46 kg, I dont look all that smashing naked with all the loose skin, will I feel uncomfortable in front of a "stranger"?
You'll be naked in front of the middies and drs who are all strangers. Just mention you feel self-conscious. You may find you don't even notice whilst in the middle of labour. Or wear something fabulous.

Can doula's take photos of the first moments with bub? Is that an extra cost?
Ask. Hand them a camera and ask them to snap away. Our camera was passed betwenn our IM and the med student and we got some great shots. Next time, I want video.

As you want a VBAC, I really recommend you engage someone with lots of experience. SOmeone who's in it for you and your bub, not just for them. Personally I'd get an IM, but it comes down to $$ too.

[Manhattan]

I had a doula, and absolutley loved it, and will definitely be having the same one the second time around, especially like you, we want to try for a vbac. Even DH said she was worth her weight in gold cos we had no idea what to expect, and she was there as an advocate for us.

To address some of your concerns:

1. I am the most self concious person, and don't do nudity at all! But during labour, all those fears disappeared to a certain extent, and it was just business as usual for her.

2. Ours cost $600, and the way I looked at it was I wasnt going to a private hospital, and I wanted someone there for me.

3. Of course they travel, Doulas love their work, and a bit of travel isnt going to stop them being at the birth.

4. Photos, i assume yes, I'm not sure about this as ours ended in a C-Sec, but I dont see why not.

You know you can book in just to have a chat with one, and see what they are all about and if you are comfortable with them. Well thats how mine worked anyway.

ETA: My doula was with me from about 8 in the morning, until 2 the next morning when bubs finally came. She worked on my birth plan with me, and knew exactly what I wanted.

Hth, and good luck with your decision

[Catherine]

You may be able to find a student doula in your area. They may be willing to work with you at no charge.
Many doula's are more than happy to take the photos you want.
And doula's a a fantastic way to empower the Dads as well as the mums.

A doula will work with you, help you to develop a birth plan, work through any anxieties before the birth.

And do not worry about your body. You are giving birth - Your body is amazing! You should be very proud of your achievements in weight loss, you have nothing to be afraid of, or to feel concerned about. The doula would not be worried and will help aleviate your worries.

As for travelling, that is a personal choice for a doula. You can only ask!

All the best. xox

[LoveLea]

Im giving birth an hour away, do Doula's travel?
Yes, it depends on the doula though and some may have an extra travel charge. Alternatively you could look for a doula in the town where you will be birthing, you won't have to meet up with the doula before the birth as many times as you would a midwife so it wouldn't be as big of an issue if your doula isn't in the same town as you; you'll have plenty of time before hand to contact each other via phone, email etc

We dont have alot of money, so will I be paying for something thats not right for me?
Only you can decide if the cost is something you can justify. There are some doulas who may organise a payment plan. If your doula is someone who is going to help you achieve the birth that is important to you then you can't put a cost on that.

How much do they really cost?
Costs differ, my closest doula has packages ranging from $400-$800

After losing 46 kg, I dont look all that smashing naked with all the loose skin, will I feel uncomfortable in front of a "stranger"?
Well if you're having a hospy birth I think you'll end up naked in front of strangers anyway. And during birth this should be the last of your concerns.

Can doula's take photos of the first moments with bub? Is that an extra cost?
Doulas should be able to provide many services to support you to achieve the birth you want, and if this includes photos then yes they should be able to do that. Additional costs would depend on things like if they're using their own equipment, if they edit, if they have qualifications etc. Remember though that your doula may not have great photography skills.


Another good reason for having a doula is if you are having a VBAC your doula will have a client library where they will have resources to help you research and prepare for a VBAC. She may also be able to have a debrief with you about your first birth so that you can work past bad memories, feelings etc from your last birth.

[Jas]

Maybe see if there are any student doulas in your area to get rid of the cost and who cares about the body (I know you do)but doula's aren't there to check out your bod iykwim plus you will have mids etc there to see you anyway (plus I can relate re the weight lost and a bit of a sagging issue haha) but I think its sounds like a doula would be a great thing for you!

[tinkerbelle]

i had a doula, but due to the hospital being pretty unkind to me while i was in labour, i barely got to use their help anyway as they put all sorts of limits of who could be there and when. my memory of the labour isnt that great but i dont remember that the doula really fought any of my battles for me either - most of my battles were early on before the doula was even there.. and it was up to me and hubby to fight them and and hubby was not a great advocate!. next time i have a bubs, am planning on having an independent midwife who knows and understands my birth plan and is happy to support it as much as possible.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

I'm biased. We had an IM and would never go without. It was her advocacy that allowed us to have a vaginal breech instead of a c/s. Her presence also meant DH could have a break when needed or he could concentrate on me whilst she was dealing with the powers that be.

About your cons:
Im giving birth an hour away, do Doula's travel?
Some do - ask.

We dont have alot of money, so will I be paying for something thats not right for me? How much do they really cost?
You need to ask. There's a few listed on BB. Personally I think an independent birth attendent is worth the cost. If you want an IM for the birth, you're looking at $1000-1500. Not sure about doulas. $500-1000?

After losing 46 kg, I dont look all that smashing naked with all the loose skin, will I feel uncomfortable in front of a "stranger"?
You'll be naked in front of the middies and drs who are all strangers. Just mention you feel self-conscious. You may find you don't even notice whilst in the middle of labour. Or wear something fabulous.

Can doula's take photos of the first moments with bub? Is that an extra cost?
Ask. Hand them a camera and ask them to snap away. Our camera was passed betwenn our IM and the med student and we got some great shots. Next time, I want video.

As you want a VBAC, I really recommend you engage someone with lots of experience. SOmeone who's in it for you and your bub, not just for them. Personally I'd get an IM, but it comes down to $$ too.

Thanks for your reply! Yes, your right, I know there will be other strangers around and really.. my doula wont be a stranger because I will meet with her a few times before the birth yeah?

I had a doula, and absolutley loved it, and will definitely be having the same one the second time around, especially like you, we want to try for a vbac. Even DH said she was worth her weight in gold cos we had no idea what to expect, and she was there as an advocate for us.

To address some of your concerns:

1. I am the most self concious person, and don't do nudity at all! But during labour, all those fears disappeared to a certain extent, and it was just business as usual for her.

2. Ours cost $600, and the way I looked at it was I wasnt going to a private hospital, and I wanted someone there for me.

3. Of course they travel, Doulas love their work, and a bit of travel isnt going to stop them being at the birth.

4. Photos, i assume yes, I'm not sure about this as ours ended in a C-Sec, but I dont see why not.

You know you can book in just to have a chat with one, and see what they are all about and if you are comfortable with them. Well thats how mine worked anyway.

Hth, and good luck with your decision

How did it go with your Doula when you ended up with a c/section? Was she allowed in there with you? $600 isnt too bad, Ide be willing to pay that if I could pay it off (we arnt poorpers or anything, just low income, with bills).

You may be able to find a student doula in your area. They may be willing to work with you at no charge.
Many doula's are more than happy to take the photos you want.
And doula's a a fantastic way to empower the Dads as well as the mums.

A doula will work with you, help you to develop a birth plan, work through any anxieties before the birth.

And do not worry about your body. You are giving birth - Your body is amazing! You should be very proud of your achievements in weight loss, you have nothing to be afraid of, or to feel concerned about. The doula would not be worried and will help aleviate your worries.

As for travelling, that is a personal choice for a doula. You can only ask!

All the best. xox

Didnt think of a student Doula. Where do you go to find Doula's? I like the word empowering thanks for your reply xx

Im giving birth an hour away, do Doula's travel?
Yes, it depends on the doula though and some may have an extra travel charge. Alternatively you could look for a doula in the town where you will be birthing, you won't have to meet up with the doula before the birth as many times as you would a midwife so it wouldn't be as big of an issue if your doula isn't in the same town as you; you'll have plenty of time before hand to contact each other via phone, email etc

We dont have alot of money, so will I be paying for something thats not right for me?
Only you can decide if the cost is something you can justify. There are some doulas who may organise a payment plan. If your doula is someone who is going to help you achieve the birth that is important to you then you can't put a cost on that.

How much do they really cost?
Costs differ, my closest doula has packages ranging from $400-$800

After losing 46 kg, I dont look all that smashing naked with all the loose skin, will I feel uncomfortable in front of a "stranger"?
Well if you're having a hospy birth I think you'll end up naked in front of strangers anyway. And during birth this should be the last of your concerns.

Can doula's take photos of the first moments with bub? Is that an extra cost?
Doulas should be able to provide many services to support you to achieve the birth you want, and if this includes photos then yes they should be able to do that. Additional costs would depend on things like if they're using their own equipment, if they edit, if they have qualifications etc. Remember though that your doula may not have great photography skills.


Another good reason for having a doula is if you are having a VBAC your doula will have a client library where they will have resources to help you research and prepare for a VBAC. She may also be able to have a debrief with you about your first birth so that you can work past bad memories, feelings etc from your last birth.

Thank you I didnt realise they can help you that much to prepare you for your VBAC

Maybe see if there are any student doulas in your area to get rid of the cost and who cares about the body (I know you do)but doula's aren't there to check out your bod iykwim plus you will have mids etc there to see you anyway (plus I can relate re the weight lost and a bit of a sagging issue haha) but I think its sounds like a doula would be a great thing for you!

I will have a look around, thanks

[[M]umma[M]ia]

i had a doula, but due to the hospital being pretty unkind to me while i was in labour, i barely got to use their help anyway as they put all sorts of limits of who could be there and when. my memory of the labour isnt that great but i dont remember that the doula really fought any of my battles for me either - most of my battles were early on before the doula was even there.. and it was up to me and hubby to fight them and and hubby was not a great advocate!. next time i have a bubs, am planning on having an independent midwife who knows and understands my birth plan and is happy to support it as much as possible.

Thank you for your reply. I think it would be very important to pick the right doula. How does it go with an IM in a hospital? Do they do the same things as the midwives in the hospital or just more a support person?

[Manhattan]

How did it go with your Doula when you ended up with a c/section? Was she allowed in there with you? $600 isnt too bad, Ide be willing to pay that if I could pay it off (we arnt poorpers or anything, just low income, with bills).

Unfortunately she wasnt allowed in, only DH, but she waited the whole time. There was no way I was letting her leave without getting a cuddle after spending the whole day there with us. She even gave DD her first drink of ebm whilst DH was with me in recovery. My doula offered payment plans, and also discounts if you paid upfront. She is a mum of 4 kids herself, so understands that money doesnt grow on trees!

[Catherine]

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/find-a-doula

http://www.findadoula.com.au/

http://www.pregnancy.com.au/practiti...ch/index.shtml

start there.

[Cassius2]

i'm not sure about Doula's but i do know that my IM was able to come in to theatre with DH and I if the case arose that we needed a C/S...(that way she could stay with me while DH went with bub ITMS)

[tinkerbelle]

with an IM in a hospital - my understanding from where i live - i think sometimes they have rights at certain hospitals like obs.. but they do have to abide by the hospital policys though..

[LionsandBears]

When we were discussing a c/s i said i wanted my IM to stay with me and DH to go with bub. There ensued a 'discussion' bw our IM and the anaethetist. I was hospital policy that only 1 person be in with me. The IM sorted that out with someone higher up and got the ok. Didnt need that in the end.

[ladybird11]

I've seen quoted 'if Doula's were a drug, it would be unethical not to have one'.

From a doula website:

Research indicates that the presence of a Doula:

Decreases the need for caesarean by 50%
Increases the chances of unmedicated birth 30 - 60%
Decreases the length of labour by 25%
Decreases the need for other interventions with mother and baby
Increases the mother's and father's satisfaction with the experience

My doula offers photo taking during and after, she would travel certain distances depending on her clients due dates on either side too.

Depends on the individual doula, maybe call a few and see what they offer - I'm sure they're all different with different skills. I'm going for a VBAMC so I chose one who was highly recommended for those instances.

[joey123]

I have just had a VBA2C. Wasn't met with much resistance at first, but at 39 weeks they started talking interventions and I wasn't even at my due date!! It was great to have someone to keep me confident and come to my home who knew when it was time to go to hospital, and reassure DH that all was ok, so I just had to concerntrate on labouring. She also knew what i wanted in labour, so i didn't have to talk to anyone. When i tore and there was blood everywhere, she told dh all was ok. when dh had to walk away for a min, i wasn't left with strangers. she gave me all sorts of tips during the pregnancy about diet, mental prep, positions, what to be prepared for ...

i don't know if i would have succeeded at this vba2c if it wasn't for her -it definately wouldn't have been anywhere as easy. well worth every cent!!

She will take photos for you for part of the cost, I am sure, mine did and they are amazing!!

In regards to the money ... mine was $1500 and i think it is more about what your priorities (sp?) are than whether you can afford it or not. Also, she may let you pay out of the baby bonus. If not, just don't go out to dinner as much, or stop buying magazines, etc so you can afford it.

Most doulas will travel. Call a few and make that ne of your first questions.

GL

xx