No way girl stand up for your rights!!!! if it would help you, you need it. This is on eof the toughest most rewarding things you can do and you need to grab as much support from whatever sources you feel the most comfortable with. Sell it to him!!!!! Tell him that it would mean if he is needing a break that you will have a much needed support person, what if he needs to step out for a breather, a loo stop, to chuck or pass out, food a good cry??????Some one who is experienced who will no what is happening is invaluable a will help keep you focused, partners are great but are often to emotionally involved when it comes down to the nitty gritty. Maybe you could suggest a trial and if it does'nt work out the doula will leave you and him to it, once it's happening he won't want her to leave!!!!!
Last but not least, you could always cry and beg him to let you have one....tears and preggy women work wonders lol.
Just explain to him that having a doula will mean that he can actually enjoy the moment, come along for the ride, rather than having the responsibility all the time to do things you need him to do.
As I have mentioned before, I personally would not really ask him. If I'm the one who has to do the work, then I do it my way. By all means, explain to him why you would like her there. It is much easier if he is on board with the idea when the time comes. But do not give away your power of birthing the way you want to birth. Yes, he is the father, but let's face it, what would he know about what YOU might need when you're in labour. Hey, you don't even know what you will need until you're in the situation.
I thought I might need massages, hot packs, people helping me to be in various positions. But when I was actually in labour, the only thing I needed was someone offering me a drink every now and then and to leave me alone most of the time.
I hope I don't come across patronising. I don't mean to be. I just want to let you know that it is alright to insist on these things. If you back down on this and things end up not going to plan, you might hold resentment and blame his resistance to a doula for the rest of your life.
Well ladies, we have made some improvement on the doula front. I just havent been in here to update sorry. He agreed to having one, but today thought he may like to have an independant midwife instead. He is still tossing up on the idea. I think his main concern is my and bubbas health.
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